Craziness

Craziness: God is a Mad Artist

My wife, Sara Brown, was an Art History major at UCD. She knows much more about art than I do. I took a Studio Art class in high school, and I love going to galleries. ARAS (Sara, backwards) is an acronym for Archive for Research in Archetypal Symbolism. ARSA is an Associate of the Royal Scottish Academy, an organization promoting contemporary Scottish art. Sara, Sara.

There's some serious symbolic madness in my world. My life is a work of art by a mad artist. Sara Brown drives a black Honda (H). My sister Sarah Salazar died in a brown Honda (I was the driver). Black is the color of death. SS, P. Nazis and Sarah, ack. P is an emoticon. Jeep! Jeepers creepers. Jeep comes from General Purpose. JLT, my initials, is also an acronym for the Journal for Lightwave Theory. Sarah, Sara, and myself are white. JLT=132=6= the devil's number. He's dark. FOX=6,15,24. Or 666. So does that make Vicente Fox the beast? When people say 'O my God', are they calling God the letter O (whatever that might mean), at any level? And are they thus calling me, JLT, God? I am a wreck. I enjoyed the crash, though, like a roller coaster. Honda means deep. Sarah is 6 feet deep. Depth psychology. I am well. A deep well. Drink deep. Gnosis. Hypnosis. Crisis. Thesis. Theology. How far does the rabbit hole go. Rabbi, abbot, bit, it, T. Rabbi= 5= Christ. Thus is rabbit Christ cross. So you take the red pill to understand Jesus. Rabbit=7=jesus christ. Jesus=2=T. Jesus anagrams to 'Jess, u'. Me?

Does the Pope wear black at a funeral? Has there ever been a black pope? Was Jesus black? Jess=8. Jesse=4. Love is a 4 letter word. God=764=17=8=H. Her death was an act of God. 17=Q. Q was a deity on Star Trek (4,9). HQZ is 8 is God. I was born in '71. There's the Z71 truck. And the saab 9-3. That makes me a Virgo. Virgo=8=H. Virgo's are "the vehicle." Like the RAV4. Sarah Salazar=2, 6. 8 in an 8 with 8. Sarah Salazar in a H with Jess.

Anyway, Sara serves (red) Sirah wine. Her sister Theresa has a (black) dog named Winnie, like win-e, or wine. H, played by sir A.H., drank wine. Red and black are the two internal colors, blood and darkness. What we truly are inside. Like Darth Maul. A Sith. S it H. Sara it forever. SI, my H.S. T the H, cross the hall. The halls were shaped like an H. Blood has red, white blood cells. White heals. They attack. They kill. How dark. Red and white was St. Stephen's colors, my grammar school. People wine about no H to whine to. T's French bulldog is not named after Winnie the pooh. Or after Winifred, i.e. Winston Churchill, the english bulldog. Pooh is Brown. I was dating a French when my sister died. She was an environmentalist, Green. Her sister's name is Sarah. The dark Blacula type Sir Anthony Hopkins hopped skin (white) as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs, and who signed his name 'H' in Hannibal. Honda made a Sol, the letters of which acronym silence of lambs. Honda means 'deep' in Spanish. Sol means sun. The depths are dark, and sunlight is all the color, especially if you use a prism (That's the geo, though). H is the eighth letter, which evokes many things, such as H8 (hate), or hydrogen, which fuels the sun. My last name, Teshara, can anagram to 'as earth' or 'as hater' or 'as heart'. H has contrasts between heaven and hell, and between health/happiness vs. hurt/hammers/halftruths, as well as head v. heart. Arm and Hammer reminds me AH's like Anthony, Adolf, Alfred, and Anne (Hopkins, Hitler, Hitchcock, Heche), and the Led Zeppelin book Hammer of the Gods. My dad had a hammer with an O on it. There's hammer films and communism and Jesus the carpenter. The musical Guys and Dolls is based on Damon Runyon's 'The Idyll of Miss Sarah Brown.' It's about NY petty criminals and gamblers. I haven't seen it. Is it bright or dark? Notes have colors, some say.

JL sounds like jail. Edgar Lee Master's poem, Sarah Brown, says there is no marriage in heaven, but there is love. G-D in heaven! Sara likes the band Hole, and their song Doll parts. =D,lol. Teshara anagrams also to 'The Sara.' Also, 'he's a rat.' Sara didn't take my last name, but if she did, Sara Lucille Teshara would be 'Alleluia! Crashes rat.' Scary. I'm a democrat, and I voted for Gore and Kerry, who both lost. There was an attack ad that called democrats 'rats.' My dad used to joke, 'why did Mickey Mouse run away from home? His father was a rat'. Honda makes Acura. Priests are called fathers. You see deeply dr. But can you turn that high-powered perception on yourself? High-powered offense. Hannibal was an artist in Silence of the Lambs and a museum worker in Hannibal. Sara wanted to work at galleries and museums. Artist anagrams to 'tis rat'. Sara aced her abnormal psychology class, on top.

Sara works at the Wildhurst tasting room in Kelseyville. We lived on Hearst in San Francisco. I lived on Wildhurst in Sacramento. We re-hearsed. Wildhurst makes me think of the opening scene of 6 feet under, with a wild hearse crashing. Underfoot, there are insects with 6 feet. The Jaines of India sweep the ground in front of them so as not to hurt them. I've eaten an ant. It was bitter. I ate a scorpion in China. It was crunchy. Beware of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup, was a friend's bumpersticker. Christianity is in sects. About 34k denominations, to be precise. How many species of insects are there? There's a million described species, with up to 30 million more species still left undescribed. They represent 90% of all lifeforms on our planet. The antichrist is the jesus-ant.

Sarah Salazar anagrams to 'lazar as a rash.' A lazar is a person infected with leprosy. My name is 'see jet as rash.' In hebrew, Jesse would be JSS, like Jesus, because they omit vowels. J is the tenth letter, so Jesse is very similar to Tennessee. 'Tennessee' comes from the Cherokee town Tanasi, the meaning of which is lost. It anagrams to I, Satan. Or, I, Santa. My full name anagrams to satan researches jewel. I read about possibly the word's most valuable jewel in the book The Sorcerer's Apprentice. David Andrew Eldridge, the guy who messed with my head and said he and I were vampires, also said he believed Al Gore was the antichrist. Antichrist, like Al and Jesse and David each, sums to four. Using numerology, I associate these 3 names, and Four, with the number 4. I actually met someone named Four. Al was governor of Tennessee.

I grew up in S.F., rooting for the 49ers. Sara grew up off of highway 49 in Auburn. I met Sara at 49er video in Davis. My name is 4,9. That sums to 13. My birthmother's last name is Riddle. Voldemort was a Riddle. Voldemort anagrams to lord move T. Christina Applegate played Jesse. Eve offered Adam an apple. Christina has Christ in it. Do you wish you had Jesse's girl? (I didn't have a girlfriend when that song came out). G-D could be guns, drugs. I know a Kai and a So, but not Kaiser Soze. As you might imagine, this kind of stuff can make a man kind of nuts. I could go on awhile more.

I seem to be at the center of a symbolic vortex, heavy on the religious symbolism. Basically, I'm prone to making associations, I guess, is all. I'm trying to solve the Jesse Riddle. Who shot JR? Al Gore is a jr. I realize this all sounds schizophrenic. But there is method, and sanity, to the madness. See my post called I AM. I clean all this up a bit. Unless you like it messy.

I wanna talk about fun I had on the computer. Last night I U-tubed. A U is a smile. I watched juggling, magic, and music. I listened to Bob Marley's Forever Loving Jah, some Slayer death metal to pictures of kittens, cool but incomprehensible (to me) Italian rap, a funny hardcore Star Wars rap, Macs v. PC rap, the Flaming Lips (the yeah yeah yeah song), and Uriah Heep. I really like them. The juggling was insanely good. My wife was watching svu, so I watched some UTube svu highlights. If you want to follow forensics, though, I think you should go to a library and read about the real thing. I used to live with a former forensic accountant. Truth is grander than fiction.

Hannibal, Voldemort, Kaiser Soze, vampires, Antichrist, darth vader, all these are personal. I know a Kai and a So. I used to go to Kaiser. Lil' Ze was one bad ass in City of God. There's the z71, and E, my first girl. There's Dave's world, Ellen, and the sitcom Jesse. David said I was a vampire. Jesse is a vampire in Queen of the Damned. My birthmom's name is Riddle, like Voldemort's (lord move t). Her daughter, my birthsister, Sarah Salazar, evokes Salazar Slytherin. SS, nazis. H is God is Allah is S is Sara. Sir Anthony Hopskins played H, S serves Sirah at Wildhurst, where I lived, after studying Art History, and psychology, driving a black Honda, power of Brown de-livers with DHL, and she likes crime dramas and needs to get more fun out of life. G-D is love is 4 is guns and drugs. David said Al Gore, jr. is the Antichrist. I'm 4,9, too. 13. Even Stephen King is afraid of 13. Jesse is tennessee and gift, or regalo, or al gore. Tennessee is from Tanasi or I, satan. I have satan in my name. I had a smalbed handle. Milk means a thousand k's. k is a thousand. I wrote a document entitled 1k reasons people kill. Jesse Riddle is Jr. I worked at Walgreens. I therefore feel like Darth Vader. I have a digital nervous system. Kill Bill and Enemy at the Gates are probes, if not challenges. Cars on the higway are personal, with my birthday 9-3, my name, Jeep (p substituted for SS), GT my bro, LT and PT my parents, Montero and Kenworth, Sara's parents, and S10 and Jeep Sahara for both of us, as well as the SLT, for her, the anagram of the full name of which is almost a threat (alleluia! crashes a rat). Teshara anagrams to 'hes a rat.' I'm actually a boar, and I've been a monkey, and you might think I'm a snake.. Life drags on. She hasn't taken my last name (thankfully?).

Jesse is See s.j. and seeing deeply and seeing H or seeing god or infiniti (YHWH=1=J being). All is vanity. I see myself. I love myself. I love Sara, and I see her too. The symbols are everywhere, fate? Father, fat her. Pregnancy. G-D, love, guns and drugs. Okay, O.K., Orgasm kill, O my God, deicide, JT, jesus cross, passion, little death, Jesus as the least, a zero. The zero effect, Hannibal, monk, supersleuths. J=10=4+6=forensics. I was a monkey. Monkey=2=jesus. Centered between positive and negative. Numb from numbers. Enough, thanks for reading.