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I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 45) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 1000 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Friday, February 23, 2018

What Does G.O.D. Stand For?

Gigantic Orgasmic Dick, and goodly other divine wordplay

goals objective discipline; good orderly direction; genius or dumb, grades over D! Game of definitions, glad overjoyed delighted, glee or depression, get old die; pain=pa in, get out dad! god or demon, good or diabolical, good ol' devil... get out, devil! generalized oppression disorder. game of death, graduate of davis, gathering of darklings, gory orgasm destruction, gratitude or despair, glass of drink, gloves on dresser, gin or dasani, greed of destitute, godiva overdose, gluttony or disgust, gay one direction, george orwell dystopia, glory or disrepute, geriatric old debilitated, growth of disease, grateful of disability, good ol' days, grand ol' duke, grr of demon, grateful of death, gas oil discovery, guile of deception, gigantic orgasmic dick, gloomy obscure darkness, give over dollars, golly oh darn, gym outdoor dancing, glandular obesity disease, god of disinformation, giving out dope, gender of distaff, grammatically-off deutsch, grimly-ordered death, gravity of disaster, gary oldman's dog, give off demeanor, glory of david, grace of divinity, gradually overtaking devil, gospel-truth of dogma, grief obsessed dominion, game of offensive domination, gain of defense, guns oblivion drugs.

Giver of deutschmarks, depletion from obligatory generosity. 

weird word ward 
Chris' chin, arm leg leg arm head (allah!), armed <
devil/lived. dogma/am god. love/evolution. No it u love. live/evil. satan/santa. demon/no med.
Catholic dogma! Reigning cats and dogs. God with an O is good. Church: clear head, clean heart.

family phrase fun
dangerous dan, erinaceous (relating to hedgehogs), jim at the gym, sympathy/empathy for Pat H, path of least resistance, psycho/socio/neuro/tele-pathy, the road less taken,  e.s.m.e. (eternal and supreme master of existence!), victorious vicki, gregarious greg, lizard liz, beneficent benjamin, declarative declan, jester in a jetta, jailtime or jilt jolt, hilarious larry, pge and egypt (peggy t)  LGBT and BGLAD.  teshara- as heart, earth, hater.  to share ah, cher, ra (sun god), robert anderson, T14 rah! (raw sewage)

Monday, February 5, 2018

To Do List

To Do does not equal "todo"
todo (pronounced "toe-dough") = everything, in Spanish!
Just this stuff oughtta keep me busy for the rest of my entire life!!!
(the books, especially)

ssi estimated earnings (monthly/yearly) 
amt. needed for independence
budget / taxes 
glen park $ books
john sims book: think and grow rich, N Hill 
anthony robbins cassettes
book I gave to sara / s gave me
find bitcoin data
volunteer, internship;  try other jobs
use alumni association, career center 
professional cuddler
nature hike leader, naturalist, botanist, zoologist 
martial arts instructor
author, researcher 
audiobook narrator
fitness partner, personal trainer 
origami, bubbles, jokes, hugs, advice
consult about marriage, inheritance 
dad, if well. house, car, college
ABLE accounts (achieving better life experience)

wish list: better phone, newer computer 
e-bike, joe frank, cs monitor, f.a.
   (christian science, foreign affairs)
travel: japan, europe, rain forest 
 parades, nt'l parks, theme parks, fairs, festivals
taiko, opera, ballet, concerts, plays, movies 
trivia compile, wbsm, apple watch
   (win ben stein's money)
folding bed -chair 
fm radio with presets and lock, swim music
spanish grammar 
self-defense library, 1 on 1 instruction
netflix, documentaries, piedmont video card 
lumosity, mensa, superbetter, spdrdg class
match, okcupid, adult school, community college 
spike n mike's
massage, ear candling
 trail ride, hiking/camping, birdwatch, telescope
emergency supplies 
kiva microloans
buy stapler
buddhist retreat (e.g. Tassajara)
white water rafting 
craft windmills 
nice kite
kit car
prison lit tablet 
msf/mfa (doctors without borders, mercy for animals)
daily okcupid 
cal campus connections!
Jeannine/Annette/Pat Z 
wag cards, pricing
train museum 
dental, bfc (berkeley free clinic)
toys r us 
fishing gear
flea market, thrift stores 
new clothes 
auburn rental car

tv: GoT, blackmirror, westworld 
movies, imax
ridiculousness, amazingness (mtv) 
library music cd's (compact discs)
hulu? apple tv? satellite/cable 
latenight comedy, cc (comedy central), comedy specials
bestsellers, and award-winning (books)
horror/fantasy, true crime, crime encyc 
BAMS, BASS, nature writing, buddhist
la jornada, eng/spa dictionary, modismos 
world book, wikipedia, eb dvd (brittanica)
chambers dictionary/slang/atlas 
economist, utne, nt'l geo, mad, people, psych today
religious variety (rituals, services, literature, locations)
j!, trivia cards, library trivia night
   (jeopardy archive online)
onion, joke books, standup comedy club 
visit Annette, Pat Z, W+G, Jeannine, MSJ, S+P
    (mission san jose)(steve and penny, sara and pierre)
Melissa and James
Patrick Hennessy 
Michael Helbush
visit PRTB (storage return) (pat ron theresa bruce)
St. Stephen's fb, SI reunion, UCD shields library
museums, discover and go, b of a
take bus rides (round trips)
indian rock/pow-wow/sweatlodge 
libraries, pools
go out dancing, clubbing, singles events 
meetup groups
blog, gtu, sermon archive, happiness psych
   (graduate theological union library)
aletheon, character strengths and virtues, ccc
  (catechism of the catholic church)
proust, shakespeare, bloom canon 
1001 “before you die”/ 501 must read books
same book as... (conversation topic)
   (family/friends/library book club) 
newbery award winners
gatesnotes (e.g. Enlightenment Now -S.Pinker)
literotica sex (adult headline) news weird news
gg park, people watch (golden gate)
glen park, la corneta, library
shambhala meditation (enlightened society)
bkly yoga, swim
BB, veg diet, kp healthwise hb
  (bodybuilding, vegetarian, kaiser permanente handbook)
tourist book ideas 
hike mt. Davidson (w mom)
lawrence hall of science, exploratorium 
train museums w Augie
go climb a rock, go fly a kite
bay to breakers, marathon 
sit, vegetate, do nothing, ponder navel
twiddle thumbs, breathe, be, exist, do anything 
watch tv, listen to music, meditate, nap, sleep
cirque, magic, sumo, mma, wwe 
monster trucks, rodeo, bullfight, motocross
horseshoes, lawn bowling 
hang-gliding, sky-diving, bungee jump
great america, six flags, knott's berry farm, disneyland
gun show, tattoo show
renaissance faire 
car show, dog show, tech show
beef jerkey dehydrator 
thrift stores, garage sales, flea markets
instagram (post pics) 
philosophy talk, iep  (internet encyc of philosophy)
royaneh (work party, family camp?)
south park, beavis n butthead, ren n stimpy 
simpsons, dr. katz, futurama
get crafty, go places 
sports, gymnastics, quidditch
park n rec activities
 a's, giants, niners, raiders, sharks, dogfish
geography bee 
ask a ninja
google, wikipedia, ted 
oyc, coursera (open yale courseware)
make a friend / day, get social
veg flyers 
leave cards (e.g. gtu, church bb's)
cs reading room 
go fishing
LG (magician's “like” list) (Lev Grossman)
take pictures
kp cbt class (cognitive behavioral therapy)
toys r us
hos  (hearts of space)
chinese radio (1400 AM)
youtube magic, juggling, cirque, comedy 
youtube bodybuilding motivation
martial arts, self-defense 
pixar, anime
bodybuilding.com (meal plans) 
itunes gift cards 
amc/fandango gift cards
bfc dental appt. (bkly free clinic)
monthly bfp food supply (bkly food pantry)
audit ucb class (e.g. reich) 
dog treats, water bottle
buy for dad (fluent in 3 mo's, by B. Lewis) 
cribbage, solitaire
write daily: journal, essay, poem, blog, book
read book/day, ideally
Greg + Liz family tree 
Steve's daughter, fb (Nicole)
recorded wedding? Sauer's talk 
make big bubbles
big brother, uncle jesse
law 101, by Jay M. Feinman, again
mozart's brain and fighter pilot, byrichard restak, again
whrb sunday service (harvard radio)
made museum (museum or art, digital entertainment)
prison lit volunteer 
stephen statler, mha (mental health advocates)
phone list 
email list, xmas card list
play chess, iq twist
cope army guy, wayland, and pool guy (names!)
heather mullen, serena yuen
elisa rambo, betat, jurkowski, zeff, f. reich
 leone pena, rosa bagley
hearing voices movement 
brooks chorley, wife
marci gadberry, betty, ruby 
bill gates history course 
historical landmarks
join mensa
richard stollnitz 
mr. and mrs. fiji
post on youtube 
corliss, lynn, sofia, valerie
brandi odom
bathroom readers (uncle john's)
calacademy.org, sfmoma.org
quizbowl, quizup 
psychiatrist on mission, go on mission!
Bkly shambhala center library 
reverse dictionary
wikipedia: list of internet phenomena 
kathy gill
stu finkel, reyes sacharoff
cemetary tour 
laser show?
paint julie's doors
Ken Jennings 
Craig Murray.org
blue heron 
world's religions, jesuit guide, patanjali
steve hackney 
tablets for prisoners 
dr. demento story of day
campus life: clubs, lectures, plays, music, classes 
mt. Madonna
bike across bridge
jessica archer 
dan paul, jack laws
rebecca bonneville 
sushi, thai, burmese, gyro, ethiopian, braz, bongo
self as dependent (taxes)? 
Fb pic of gimcrack
figure out digital camera 
bleach instructions
chase daily history data, albany library 
eb express events, kalx ec/cc, family flyer @library
ike's, subway, pj's, smart alec's, bagel, chipotle 
get big book series, abortion book, bible from sara
batteries, lightbulbs
other ed morrow book 
Rilo? (kathie pham, brig)
Mountain mike's
cal library: f.a., psych today, rolling stone, NG
dance! (alone, others, room, elsewhere)
pandora, phrontistery, poetry foundation, pushups
email erase 
Audio: sound machine, youtube, itunes, pandora 
radio, phone, cd's, at library, saved/purchase
update, maintenance on blog
apple store class 
sf standup w mom? Xmas gift
reply to Jack Kilmartin re: Royaneh/blog 
go to movie(s) / buy books
trader joe's (liner bags!) 
alternate sd/ma with to do list (!!)
  (self defense, martial arts)
buy new clothes
 read Annihilation, Expanse, Boy Snow Bird
re-boot okcupid 
farmer's market, community garden
internet slang dictionary
plan trip to auburn
holy hill,  glide memorial
read spanish (everything) 
seo blog again? viral? topical? Links
you don't know jack 
Big History, David Christian, “great courses”(teaching company)
library BB/MA/SD, physical/mental health
pt. Reyes, yosemite, mtn home ranch, camp mather
One More Thing, BJ Novak 
Sarah Salazar, cemetary
kp measles shot/immunization
blood type 
itunes gc purchase(s)
wells fargo appointment 
“highest calling and most noble purpose” (to love)

recent reads

i still have a long ways to go

1. Dead End in Norvelt, by Jack Gantos
 (2012 newbery award winner)

2. Best New Jokes, Geoff Tibbals
(600 pages)

3. Sisters in Law, by Linda Hirshman
(about RBG and SDOC)

4.BAMS '17 (Best American Mystery Stories)
(of the previous year, short stories)

5. Traffic, by Tom Vanderbilt
(Why we drive the way we do, and what it says about us)

6. Not Quite A Genius, by Nate Dern

7.Mega Tech, technology in 2050

8.The Best Buddhist Writing, 2005

9. Is Tiny Dancer Really Elton's Little John?, by Gavin Edwards

10. Boy Snow Bird, by Helen Oyeyemi

11. Crazy (notes on and off the couch), by Rob Dobrenski, PhD

12. Moon Over Manifest, by Clare Vanderpool (2011 Newbery winner)

13. Oneness (great principles shared by all religions), by Jeffrey Moses
(found in a "little free library," which I see a lot of, when walking)

(All Good! except quite a bit of the joke book, to be honest)

Science Questions

inquiring minds want to know

1. is the entire internet backed up? (saved)
2. is there an anti-Higgs?
                 an anti-graviton?
                 an anti-photon?
3. are radio waves visible?  (like the light you see in the dark)
   (i think they are, because only 1 photon is visible, and radio waves are mediated by photons)
4. is there something flawed about thinking of "outside" of spacetime?
       -isn't space and time infinite?
5. is there any research/technology yet, dealing with teleportation or time-travel?
6. is physics plural?  what is a physic?
7. in biophysics, is it possible for human psyches to be entangled?
     is entanglement common?  does it occur in brains?

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Schizophrenia Law

Personal Sovereignty of Mind

control over your mental life
telepathy, only when welcome
squishing earworms*, for example

the human mind, whether "open" or "closed", is collective / hive
channeling, dreams and thoughts and prayers (psychic)
people are "in each others' heads"
no-self, a million different people from one day to the next

*an earworm is a repeating, persistent thought (like a song, or song fragment)

the holy spirit
soul rotation
collective unconscious

silence the voice(s), block unwanted access
legal principles: privacy, property

Legal Right to Mental Privacy and Sovereignty
1. your head, your mind is YOURS (not possessed)
the right to privacy includes the right to exclude other(s) from your mind (mined?)
     including a right to silence (only your own thought/presence)

2. property: you can evict unwelcome, unwanted intruder(s) from your head

guardian angels, devil, demons, god, God, schizophrenic voice(s), sent or received prayer, global telepaths...

should be allowed (only by expressly admitted permission),
       with the right to rescind access, if unwanted
self-sovereignty, control
is EVERYone schizophrenic? I suspect the answer is yes!
Is all of humanity a collective?
is madness just being mad (vs. being tolerant of) at "someone in my head, but it's not me"
-pink floyd

"there's a little man in my head" -dead milkmen

has anything like this been addressed by jurisprudence, anywhere in the world?

Wednesday, January 31, 2018


various interpretations

authors (write)
priests (rite)
airline pilots (wright)

republicans/conservatives (right)
truth-tellers (right, correct)
   e.g. journalists, scientists, confessors
boxers (right)
drivers (right side, right-of-way, slower lanes)
lawyers (e.g human/civil "rights")
self-justifying (righteous)
    amoral (philosophy), satanist (religion), criminal (legal status)
    anarchist (no government/law), libertarian

Buddhist (if equanimity= "all good")
  it doesn't necessarily have to
  is this an enlightened perspective?

God, if all good, and everywhere; then, nothing is evil
  everything and everywhere good, all part of God's plan, heavenly

utterly sick and delusional
   (e.g. permanent universal pain) a scary thought (but pups are adorable)
   preferences and aversion (PA!)

all right
everyone is right, even if they're wrong
God is love, love believes all things (!)

1.did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side in a horrible accident?
"he's all right now"
2.be right back, left behind (as anatomical referents)

Driving and Drivers

pros and cons

gets you there, faster, personal statement and identification, comfort, convenience, safety, privacy, music/radio, income (uber, lyft, commute to work), avoid interacting with "undesirables" on public transportation.

polluting (air, noise)
   smog, breathing and lung problems
   sirens, loud music, motorcycle engines
   compacting old cars, dumping grounds, waste
   parking lots and concrete roadways (vs. nature)
   (pedestrians, bicycles, motorcycles, cars, trucks, buses)
   (driver, passengers)
hating (honking, road rage, boredom, stuck in traffic, stress)
opportunity costs
    (money better spent elsewhere, e.g. third world libraries)
    (poorer health; e.g. could've bicycled)

Friday, January 19, 2018

Women's March

in Oakland (Sa 1/20/'18)

I'm going, tomorrow, with Sara Pierre n Augie to partake in the festivities-
I'm told to bring a sign, so I've been thinking of various pithy slogans
kinda like bumper-sticker sayings:

First, I thought I'd say: Everyone is half female! (kind of)
but Sara nipped that in the bud, saying it was offensive, that
"half-woman" takes away from what the march is about,
nameley "women have it a million times harder than men"
(I still think it's worth thinking about)

Then, running it by my friend Julie, she recommended:
"your mom may have been a woman"
which I thought was both funny, and stupidly obvious:
sex: female, of course
but gender: your mom may have been a man!
Sara approved of this one.

Finally, after asking google if everyone was half woman,
I got the response that everyone has 23 pairs of chromosomes,
the 22 are the same for men and women, but the 23rd-
is either xy (male) or xx (female) (usually)
so I thought I'd make mine XX, or XX power!, or
Roaring XXs (punning on roman numerals, and the roaring 20's)

So, anyway, I guess men are 45/46 woman
just as women are 45/46 men!
which is a weird perspective I haven't seen anywhere,
but seems like a fun frame of mind to go to the march with.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

The Master File

everything master

Master of Reality, God
master copy (original, music/printing)
mister (mr.), 49; muster (3 quarks for “muster mark”)
masters degree (e.g. MA, MS), Roy Masters, master and servant (Depeche Mode), Metallica
slavery, bdsm (bondage discipline sadism masochism), mistress, power and submission
mass-turd < catholic mass/physics mass (from Higgs particle)
power, authority, dominion, control: position, reputation; behind the scenes, “pulling strings”
knowledge, violence, money
eloquence, persuasiveness, thorough “mastery” of subject
martial arts master, chess master, “lord and master” -english lord (level/degree of peerage (attainment?)
life or death, light or dark, spymaster (mad! spy vs. spy)
mester (mess! message), moster (moss, e.g. kate; hostess with the mostest; +n=monster), mossberg rifle
muster the courage, mustard (e.g. french's, grey poupon) – must turd (dogwalking, x)
411259 (4), Four (Nguyen), Al, David, antichrist, book of numbers (4th book OT, pentateuch), Jesse
Mastery of the mystery. E (molly, mdma, ecstasy), E! (entertainment), e- (mail, bike; electronic)
m ass, mcdonald's/donkey, mas (more, in spanish; e.g. christ mas)
more (mas) jesus (t) christ (e) power (9) 9 to 5 (5 to 9?)
aikido master (e.g. moriihei ueshiba, sensei)
m aster(oid) (crunchy), mast (of ship) + E.R. (emergency room), master bates (ha)
“jack of all trades, master of none” (nun? :-), mm “mental masturbation”
gamemaster, e.g. Go. ; McMasters; Masters and Johnson
m (delicious, male, hm interesting), ma (mother), as to e.r. (tv show), master E (ellen, erin)
mastercard (credit card)

beyond mastery, doctorate (dr. it), doctored photos
phd (post hole digger, doctor of philosophy)

intelligence, academic mastery, of a field, subject, discipline, idea, concept, perspective-
groks, intellectual understanding, thorough /comprehensive familiarity, expert, well-read, author
creative, animated, engrossed, curious, interesting, doing research, at vanguard, forefront;
restless, still seeking knowledge, passion to teach, share, instruct, inspire, motivate other students

God: master of ALL (people, subjects, games, martial arts styles, etc.), omniscient
Godco (a corporation), a religion (e.g. body of christ), ALL religions (!)
master of evil, criminal mastermind
jedi master, dungeon master

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Devil's Dungeon/God's Glory


You find yourself in a dungeon, not knowing how you got there. You feel drowsy, drugged. The last thing you remember was being at home, in bed, comfortable and relaxed. But now, you've woken up to a nightmare. Where the fuck is this? How did I get here? Who did this to me? Why?? You don't have the slightest clue, you are friendly, have no enemies, are loved, have loved-ones, and certainly don't deserve this. Nobody you know would do this. This doesn't make sense. It's irrational, absurd, insane. Will you see your wife again, your family, your friends, your captor, anyone? WTF. What is this? You've lost your freedom, and you're in the process of losing your damn mind. You are at the mercy of your captor, or captors. It is hot, too hot, and you are thirsty. But there is no one there but you, alone, manacled and chained to the wall, in this room, the irons biting into your leg, your arms in a Y over your head, muscles aching, with burning sweat dripping into your eyes, without being able to wipe it away. The only light is a single flickering bulb. You scream. The sound reverberates. Nothing. You tug and twist and writhe. Solid, nothing gives. There are no other noises. You may not get out of this alive. Maybe you have been abandoned, left here to die, atrophying slowly, pissing and shitting yourself, getting skeletal, losing consciousness, immobilized and forgotten. Or maybe you will be kept alive, for some reason, like being toyed with, brutalized, experimented on, tortured, at the whim of some sick and depraved bastard. This shithead could keep and torment you for decades. You could be punched, kicked, stabbed, shot, choked, crucified, crushed, poisoned, electrocuted, dismembered, water-boarded, whipped, raped, starved, sickened, bound, bled, blinded, beaten, battered, burned, bruised, broken. Your fingernails, your balls, your tongue...There is no discernible reason to hope. You will die here, under the twisted watch of your own personal sadistic demon -who delights in your pain, your suffering, and torment. Death might actually come as a relief. Annihilation and oblivion, everyone's fate, in any case, will be welcomed. The final darkness. Or maybe your own body will revolt cruelly and you will have a heart attack, without any help or encouragement. Who is your enemy, here? Jesus Christ. Can I please wake up? Can I have my life back? Can I be released, unchained, allowed in the sun, allowed to return home, left alone? There must be some kind of mistake, some misunderstanding. Jesus. Jesus God. Please help me, someone, anyone. Fuck. Ow.

on the other hand,
God is good, great, generous, glorified:

Prisoners should enjoy life.  Jails and prisons should be fun, not hell, in my opinion.  Safety.  Busy, not boredom.  Meditation.  Yoga.  Writing.  Self-defense instruction.  Comfort.  Comedy.  So, full libraries, healthy food, good exercise, music (but not sex and drugs), and humor, friendship.  Not gangs.  Brotherhood, family, beyond racism.   Health, sanity, therapy, medications, happiness.  Why not?  Vengeance and malice and spite and ire and hatred shouldn't be welcome, anywhere.  Kindness is a good religion.  Suffering is everywhere, so why not start with the neediest, right? 

(note: the dungeon bit belongs in a god blog, in my opinion, because it shows Heaven, by way of contrast with (an impermanent) "hell".   That is to say, you don't need to be on heroin or ecstasy, or Be in Love, or on a tropical island (for example), or even enjoying sex for that matter.   Ordinary life, contrasted with the above scenario, is relatively idyllic.   So be grateful and happy!  Even if your life isn't ideal, it's probably a lot better than it could have been!  Also, it's part of a whole genre of literature (horror) (e.g. the work of Stephen King).  I heard once that nightmares are therapeutic.  I bet horror lit (and movies) are, too.  I certainly hope so!

Monday, January 1, 2018

Friday, December 8, 2017


My 5 day trip abroad
with Sara, Pierre, and Augustus (Augie)

I'm just back (returned last night) from a trip to southern Mexico, 2 flights each way (SFO to Mexico City, then Mexico City to Oaxaca), where the 4 of us stayed at a lovely  BNB house (with pool) in San Pablo Etla, overlooking a valley, 25 minutes from Central Oaxaca.  We rented a car (white jetta), and went on excursions to Monte Alban (pyramid), Mitla (petrified waterfall and pools of Hierve (bubbling) de Agua, with pre-columbian channels carved into the rock), and of course the Zocalo, with two impressive churches (St. Dominic of Guzman, especially) DoG!.  I bought a figurine of a high priest/scribe, at Alban.  And I bought a keychain of a painted jaguar head, from the museum shop.  I could have done more X-mas shopping, but I'm mostly through with that, already.  The second leg of our flight in was rushed, and we dashed through the airport, but made the flight in good time.

The meals were fantastic, and I had a Tlayuda (a traditional Oaxacan dish, recommended by a roommate); a yellow mole (Oaxaca (pronounced wuh-hawk-uh) is called the "land of 9 moles", I think); chocolate beverage, lots of tacos, and three beers (victoria and corona).  Sara made egg sandwiches a few times.  I did lots of translating, and had a few satisfying experiences of almost total comprehension.  I brought 2 spanish-english dictionaries (easy/with sample sentences, and comprehensive), as well as "2001 modismos/idioms", an Economist, and a book of "best buddhist writing" (which was nice, on the plane).  I have a long way to go before fluency, but knowing the numbers helped with paying meal and parking bills.  We also stopped at an ATM (agave tequila mezcal) fabrica, and sampled Espadin, the recommended variety. 

We saw a large spider (the largest I've ever seen, excluding zoo tarantulas) that the gardeners eventually killed, 2 scorpions (one in the bathroom, and another in the city, on the sidewalk), an amazing caterpillar, lots of street dogs, chickens, burros, goats, cattle, and birds (a flock of black birds, a yellow bird with a black and white head, a hummingbird that bounced off a screen door), different bugs like bumblebees, honey bees (on a tree, eating sap, I think), butterflies, a strider (on the pool), a bug IN the pool, and other assorted foreign (to me, anyway) ants and beetle things.  I squished a rather large spider that was inside a house.  I expected more birds.  The state of Oaxaca has more kinds of birds than the entire US, I learned from wikipedia, beforehand.  The valley had lots of barking dogs, intermittent booming fireworks, and distant announcements on loudspeakers (political?).  Also, turkeys cats and lizards.

The city was bustling, and Pierre did an excellent job of being a well-oriented navigator.  The drive in, at night, was memorable.  There was a blackout in our neighborhood.  I was anxious about getting split up, and we had an adventure picking up items from a pharmacy, that luckily worked out perfectly fine.  Monte Alban is a unesco site, and we climbed up (and down) the pyramid.  There was a field trip of school children there, with us.  On the way to Hierve, the trip up and down the mountain, in the cab, and on the bench in back, was interesting, and memorably scenic.  Hector the Protector drove us there, and I sat in the back on the way back, which was also an experience.  I believe there were 13 of us on the way back (including the driver).  We ate at El Asador Vasco, La Olla, los Danzantes, and la Cuchilla.  I sat for Augie while S+P went to El Criollo (restaurant).  Augie fell asleep in his chair while his tablet played cartoons.  Another restaurant had a tv with Disney in Spanish, where we stopped before going to the airport.  I had a waffle, OJ, and fruit yogurt.  Honking your horn is called a 'bocinazo'.  Parking is 'estacionamiento' (e.g. No E)  Bumpiness is 'terrazeria.' We used our phones to help navigate.

I listened to a bit of radio (UU "ooh ooh"), which played American music (!), and I used my tablet and phone (the house has wifi).  Pierre and Sara both did work on their computers, while in Mexico.  I read my Economist, and surveyed the home's extensive library.  The weather was lovely.  Hector told me the rainfall was good this year.  I asked about the earthquake.  I saw lots of agave, many varieties of cactus, and some corn.  I brought two long-sleeve shirts, but ended up wearing one of Pierre's t-shirts. 

When asked, I translated bitcoin as 'moneda-mordida'.   But on second thought, it could be several things: 'moneda-bitio/moneda-bit (digital bite)', or perhaps 'moneda-mordisco' (mouth or meal bite), or as 'moneda-moneda' (bit and coin are synonyms).  I'm not sure it needs translating: the whole world can just call it 'bitcoin,' as far as I'm concerned.  It's value was of ongoing interest throughout the trip.

I brought my backpack and carry-on luggage with me, both ways.  We had to throw out my sunscreen coming in, and I was selected -on the way back- for a second baggage-screening.  We saw police and ambulance.  Policia, Ambulancia, farmacia (lots of cia!).  At the house (an idyllic xanadu!), I accidentally pulled down the mosquito net that was over my bed.  I had 4 beds to choose from.  I had enjoyably vivid dreams.  There were gardeners and housekeepers.  Sara and Pierre bought (sun) hats for the 3 of them.  I didn't see a toad river or seminary (street name translations).   I lost 9 pounds.

Augie was both fun and difficult, which is to be expected of a 3 y.o., I imagine.  Sara and Pierre got sick, toward the end.  I got overly anxious and stressed, I think.  We were tired.  I took Bart home from the airport, to Berkeley; they took a Lyft back to Oakland.  Augustus played with dinosaurs and trains.  There was ice cream/cake, suckers, and gummy candies, that he got wired on, plus yogurt and fruit.  He was excited about monsters, skeletons, zombies, and giants, and "castles" (churches).   He looked at youtube videos, and google pics of trains, dinosaurs, and peacocks.  He called the internet the "inner-not" :-).

We had a brief conversation about Mexico being "dark."   They celebrate death:  Dia de los muertos, skulls and skeletons, posada-imagery.  Santa Muerte, and (pre-columbian) Aztec sacrifice.  Anyway, the people were amable and bondadoso, and we (phew!) had no problems.  The church was singing about Dios de Piedad (piety/compassion), when I entered.   I didn't have to use my medication for "severe and sudden" diarrhea (moctezuma's revenge).  Still, I was happy to get back home.  I didn't lose track of my passport, pen, keys, wallet, watch, tablet, phone, glasses, or belt (the screening process can be rushed and a bit stressful, too).  I took notes, and a few photos, and learned about the flashlight and compass features on my phone.  We made it.  What an adventure.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Thankyou Very Much


Turkey day. Thank you, turkey!
Gratitude. Gr attitude. Angry. Mad. Crazy. Grateful!
Grateful dead. We give you “thanks and praise”
G-D. Greg, Declan. Good, GED, Gadzooks!
Tap your fingers, tap your toes, tap your teeth
reality bites. Bitcoin.

dia de dar gracias.
You can't spell gracias w/o CIA
thanks, CIA!

Thank God, the source of all goodness
the central intelligent agent
Thank Godiva, a source of good chocolate
Thank Godzilla, a monster that makes great movies
Thank Gadolinium, an element used for shielding
Thank Tom Hanks, aka T. Hanks :-)
Thank S, whoever that might be, thanks!
Thank you, for reading this!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Hi Mom!

Relating to Others

Buddhism says to love every individual as if they were your own mother
A bumper sticker says Co-exist

Somewhere between those, is where I relate to people, writ large

co-exist seems to me to be setting the bar a little low
whereas everybody being one's mom is...
impossible and ridiculous (!)

I like some people (much) more than others
sometimes I don't like anyone (including mom)
and I have a birthmother as well as my (adoptive) mother, so
I can relate, perhaps, a little more easily...

I could be crazy and
recognize all sentient beings as my mother

step one:
hostility to equanimity and respect
H tear!

Just like i'd be crazy to think I'm Jesus,
I'd have to be crazy to think I'm Buddha, too.

But I am crazy. Or schizophrenic, at least.
And I've gotten this far with my blog,
so the next step...well, why not!

Because I don't want to be crazy, is why.
My voice said I have no mind, today.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone :-)
Thanks for being my mom!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Great Onion Divinity

fake news about a real god

The Onion's Definition of God:

All-knowing, all-seeing, all powerful Deity, Almighty, Creator and Eternal Master of Existence,
Omniscient Supreme Being, God the Father, Creator of Heaven and Earth, Creator of All Things,
Lord Our God, Divine Creator and Ruler of the Universe, Divine Lord and Heavenly Father,
The Lord Incarnate, God our Lord and Father, Holy Father, Maker of Heaven and Earth

(the indescribable universal energy that connects all living things)
(Jesus Christ, Light of the World and Lamb of God)
(the unveiled Epiphany of God)
(Moloch, a false god)


a little fun of my own:
osb, che cat, log low, dc, dl car, golf (!!)

esme (eternal and supreme master of existence!)
me, moe: master of existence, maker of earth.
blog: being lord our god, blessed lamb of god
boss: being omniscient, supreme, seeing

(it's a word game, after all)

Saturday, November 18, 2017

You're Set!

Today's bit

Up early (5 a.m.), 42 degrees (fahrenheit), Berkeley (South, near Oakland), on this November Saturday, officially a month away from Winter's start (December 21st, the solstice) still, but arrived nonetheless, according to the oracle of my bones. The gym is open, but I won't take the 20 minute bicycle ride to the YMCA downtown 'til it warms up a bit. I can exercise in my room, anyway. I have dumb bells and space for push-ups, planks, bicycle crunches, and yoga stretches. I have a book of 2100 yoga positions (“asanas”). I use the dumb bells for arnold presses, tricep extensions, and bent rows. I also do the isometric “shake-weight” thing, but without the weight, plus dancing (with myself). My room is like a gym, in that respect, and also due to the fact that one entire wall is covered in mirror-tiles. So it's a good thing I'm not a vampire, or there would be a lot of shattered glass! (metaphor for hating your body, your image, yourself, or 1/2/all of the above) And having the mirror is a good thing as well, presuming I make steady and noticeable progress in my efforts to lose my gut, gain muscle, and look like the true Olympian deity that I truly am, inside. My name (Jesse) in spanish is Jesus (which is pronounced hey Zeus :-) I want my appearance to make me happy. The endorphins of a good workout are a natural high, too. Schwarzenegger said that pumping iron is “better than sex.” So exercise is a good place to start, in addressing my mental illness. My meds are a mixed blessing, however: The antipsychotic I'm on, olanzapine (also called zyprexa) is notorious for it's weight-gain side effect. My gut is distended and gross, and I don't even drink beer (much). But zyprexa does succeed in alleviating the mental noise and aggravation of pain, voices, head-shocks (aka “brain zaps”), teeth-tapping, and other symptoms of my particular strain of what they're calling schizophrenia. Sometimes I wonder if I have a freakish infliction that isn't part of any medical books, or if I even have schizophrenia at all. Maybe everyone hears voices. My birth mom (Annette Riddle) has schizophrenia, which maybe I shouldn't have told the clinician. Then again, maybe everybody is insane. I think I read somewhere that anyone COULD be schizophrenic. I must have pissed off a telepath. I also wonder if it's possible to self-medicate, using meds/drugs other than the risperdal and olanzapine I've been prescribed. Or even if I can or should ever stop taking meds, and emerge sane on the other side of the med-less trip through the hell that is having a direct telepathic link with David (Andrew Eldridge). He's a mutant that can talk into anyone's head, possibly. A 'global telepath' to use his own words. He and I make our own collective unconscious, to reference Jung. Either that, or I'm a serious piece of work, lol.  We can set each other free, from the inane chatter that irritates us both, if not the entire goddamn planet. I mean, what's the difference between a voice sent to a schizophrenic and a prayer sent to “God”? The solution is to exercise and fuck and eat so that I make my body as happy as it would be if I had a lifetime supply of heroin! My body is a chemical factory, and I can synthesize my own bliss, without the expense, criminality, and harrowing consequences of being a druggie. Music and books and movies are stimulus enough. Throw in good conversation and laughter with friends, and you're set; one happy camper. You have to make your own heaven. And if you're going through hell, keep going. There's a lot of goodwill in the world -those who want to help- and there will always be someone to listen, give advice, and provide for basic need. 'God' is just the simplification for this collective reservoir of good will (in all of humanity), that can help and hear your prayers, even if “He” doesn't strictly exist, at least not in the form thought of by most (right? lol). I suspect the peak of human potential is pretty amazingly Godly, especially now, enhanced by technology.  Community and a sense of belonging is helpful, and can make all the difference. Your creator was your parents (and evolution). God is like a Santa for adults. There are real results for believing, even if it's only virtual. It's a mad world. Reasons people believe include a deference to authority, people want to live forever, there is a need in all of us to make peace with the 'other' in their minds and bodies, believe in cosmic justice, as well as have recourse to an all-powerful friend, on their side, who can make the uncertain less terrifying. So let's all be Gods to one another; that is to say, sources of goodness, creators of a better world, incarnations of Love, and victors over the temptation to commit evil, vice, crime, and sin. That is what I believe. Let's all be sane and healthy.

Friday, November 10, 2017

Un Poco Crazy

A little loco

I thought I was civilized, but really I'm just an animal. Humans are beasts. Nobody has a soul, and no one ever did! Am I a lion? A chimp? A dolphin? A dog? A shark? A fish? A sole! A star: A sol. Asshole.

I'm not an asshole. I'm not a brain, either. I'm an entire body. Not a dick, not left behind, I won't be right back; I'm not armed and dangerous; I'm not footing the bill, fingering a suspect, elbowing anyone aside, thumbing my nose at anyone; I have the balls to tell you this. No one knows what it's like to be the sad man, behind blue eyes (middle finger). We are the knights who say “knee”! The soles of my feet will not be defeated! I have a Theory Of Everything. I speak in tongue. Maybe you hate my guts. I will end up in a coughin'. I'm telling the tooth. The bare-neck'd tooth. I've got thick skin, and a warm heart, and I nose whatst I gotsta do. Don't get cheeky with me, I can't stomach it, I said with a little aqueous humor, in my funny bone. You down, blood? Gimme some skin. You've got a lot of nerve. All right, let's show some spine! A little fire in the belly. Don't go belly-up. Cock your pisstols! Up an at 'em, bright and ear-ly. Hi-ho, it's off to work eye go. Aye, eye captain! Heel! Said the chris-chin :-)

I've got language (word!), and culture (yogurt in my fridge!), and a cum-pewter (what?!?), so I'm not your run of the mill insect, doing buggery and creeping around, bugging people. Christianity may be insects (in sects), but I'm not. I'm not in sex, either. I'm not in or out, with my penetrating intellect. I'm a human being, a homo sapiens, not a home-owner, or buy- bye- by bible-salesman. Anyway, I weigh 224 lbs (today). All we are is dust in the wind. And we're mostly empty space, practically ghosts, in the flesh. Well, I hope that's not too deep. Live in the moment. Mm, mints, mom!

Are we all just bugs? Tormented by each other or the devil, rolling around in our polluting/dangerous cars, spending money on ourselves at the expense of the basic need of fellow humanity, stockpiling guns and ammunition in preparation for doom, while wasting our lives in front of television sets and commercials for things we don't want, buying meat that hurts, hurts, hurts... Are we a divided society that calls itself United, that allows mothers to kill their own babies, permits our governments to keep peace by aiming nuclear weapons at each other, keeps piling billions upon billions of dollars of profit to such as the Waltons -while basic rights to healthcare and education are out of reach to many, in a world that still erects borders for obsolete distinctions such as nation, religion, and language, and which medicates the insanely sane? We're in an extinction event, and we still think we're the stewards of nature, it's highest expression, as we pave over paradise? Can we be the Gods that we think we are? Can we be good to each other, ourselves, our planet, our fellow animals?

Sure we can. Of course. Why not! Well, I feel good about walking dogs, and writing my blog. I've got friends, and love is not an impossibility. May the forest be with you!

Thursday, November 9, 2017

God Psychology

Genius or Dumb?
Glee or Depression?
God or Devil?

My current perspective on theology is that it's a subset of psychology.
God is the devil, too.
Because God is rewards, and Devil is punishments -
and anybody can deal out both!
(and maybe the same psychic person controls society)

Heaven and Hell are metaphors for happiness and misery, in this life.
Religion is a form of social control.

God, Devil (plus, minus, positive, negative)
God is good, happiness, love, heaven
(and persuasion/hypnosis that it will last forever)
   (i.e. reward, carrot, incentive, pleasure and comfort)


Devil is evil, misery, hate, hell
(and a scare tactic, eternal hellfire)
(i.e. punishment, stick, disincentive, pain and suffering)

The Santa/Satan thing:
(he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake!)

God or Demon
Good or Diabolical/devilish/demonic
Gratitude or Death

the same behavior can be rewarded or punished.
carrots aren't as tasty as steaks.

Generosity or Depravity

Monday, November 6, 2017



I just read the chapter on The Ethics of Eating Animals, pp. 304-333, in Michael Pollan's 'The Omnivore's Dilemma.' I have read flyers from Mercy for Animals, and have been persuaded to try and be vegetarian/ LESS carnivorous, without much success.

I love pastor tacos, medium rare steaks, lamb, and chicken salads, for example. I have been treating myself to 2 pastor tacos every Tuesday for quite a while, from Los Pericos mexican restaurant in San Leandro, and always look forward to it. My favorite meal as a kid was skirt steak, coated in flour, and wonderfully greasy. Nuggets and quarter pounders from McDonald's have always been satisfying.

But I'm trying to be good, God! in fact, and therefore want to set an example, and live morally. This makes life interesting, for me. First of all, I don't believe in souls or heaven or human supremacy, made in the image of God. Everyone is destined to die, and we'll probably all be extinct in the (long-long) long-term. Behavioral standards are basically rendered moot, from this perspective, in my opinion. Nothing matters. Everybody is God, and anybody is allowed to do anything. It's all good. There is no sin. That's why anything can be forgiven. A centipede is also made in the image of God.

(some) Animals are delicious. Most of them wouldn't be alive in the first place, if we didn't breed them for consumption. Humans are just another type of animal. We're basically no different than flies, krill, cockroaches, you name it. I kill pests in my room all the time, and there is a spiritual dimension to it. I kill ants, spiders, beetles, flies. I killed snails, bees, and a butterfly when I was a kid. I accidentally killed a pet cockatiel bird. I know that I am a killer. I've loved meat all my life, and am aware of all the murderous implications. I love violence in movies, find it cathartic. I have accepted my identity, as a murderer, a sinner, evil, even -at times- a demon. I am intimately familiar with the banality and ubiquity of evil. My name has satan in it. A (former) friend of mine called me a vampire. I have struggled with insanity, and wondered if I have ever, in fact, NOT been possessed. I take medications for schizophrenia. I hear voices. I also experience reality as a construct, my thoughts and behavior seemingly always being monitored, by God-only-knows who or what. Maybe David. I do not want to be a hypocrite, or try to be morally holier-than-thou. But I do still think my philosophical aptitude and critical-thinking ability exceeds the ability/value of most, and in any case I like to write, so I will share my thoughts. At least I think they're my thoughts. I am a vessel, like everyone else, and experience consciousness as my own, despite the interpenetration of mind I have become familiar with and inured to. Everybody is schizo, because prayer is telepathy is a voice, and dreams and thoughts are shared in our hive/corporate minds, no?

Here is a law I think holds for all:
If it is okay for me to kill others, then it is okay for others to kill me. That is the karma and reality of such an attitude, perspective, stance. And because I want to live, I must forego any superiority or right or desire to be Death, and -I have just concluded- must also Cease and Desist from Eating Meat. Hitler was a vegetarian. So is Charles Manson. So there is no great moral status that comes from this, necessarily. The Jains are said to sweep the ground, so as not to kill insects. People bug me at times just as much as cockroaches, if not more. But the imperative still stands. I don't want to be eaten. I have always been pro-life (I was adopted), and I am now of the persuasion that this must extend to animals, because that is all we humans are, and I do not think we should eat each other, eat our children, kill each other, fight each other, fight wars, or abort, or allow the state to kill criminals, or euthanize disabled, or kill our children if they are homosexual, or marry outside their caste, or any other reason. I am a pacifist. War should not be possible. Nor nuclear detonations, or thermobaric bombs, or even homicides, by fist or gun or bomb or bat or blade. Dogs and cats deserve no more or less status than people, or pigeons. People should not starve while dogs eat, just as whales should not starve to save the krill. Nature is a bloody mess, and humans are just tubes, like worms, from mouth to anus, that happen to be bipedal apes with big brains, voiceboxes, opposable thumbs, and a culture that is truly magical. We must tolerate and try to celebrate one another. We must forgive with the same ardor that we seek for being forgiven. We must take the long, hard road out of hell. Paradise is a bit further. Let's help each other get there. The worms will eventually eat us all, of course. So let's make earth a better place while we're alive, and not defer heaven to some hoped-for but entirely ridiculous “afterlife.” That is my philosophy.

Everyone has killed bugs, so no one is any better than me. I may be God, but nobody is any worse than me, either. I am not a cannibal, but I do occasionally eat Jesus, if not drink his blood. Oblivion is the universal justice. Virtue is virtual (like immortality).   I was a killer.  But I don't want to say I am, any longer.  Animal-cruelty is a sin, and I want to put it behind me, and be Good.   I think you should, too. 

God is a killer.  I AM.  We all are.  Meat is delicious.  I said there is no sin...  Well, whatever. 
Still, we should do the right thing, even if karma isn't real.

Good Morning, America!

this morning's thought

Good morning. Buenos dias. Up at 4:30a. My cell phone has an alarm of jungle birds. I also sometimes set my kitchen timer and my digital alarm clock (1,2,3!). I slept to past 11a yesterday. Well I'm up today. We “fell back” yesterday. It's Monday, November 6, 2017. I'm listening to wprb on my headphones, from the computer. Don't know what I'd do without this thing. I don't get tv. Actually, I'd probably just read. I've been hit with what “I am Ninja” on youtube calls a “curiosity-spell.” I really do have curiosity about everything. So I'll never be bored. I even like sitting, breathing, doing nothing, unless you want to call it meditation. So it's all good.

Except dying. That's gonna suck. I want to live. I want to read the entire internet, the entire library: listen to all the music, watch all the tv/movies/youtube videos... you get the picture. That's why curiosity-spells are devastating. Who invented cheese? How do you say 'pink' in Nahuatl? Does time exist? And so on. As The Cowboy Junkies sang, “will you ever finally reach a point of knowing?” No. I'll never be omniscient. Even if I read all of Britannica, I still won't even be close. To know, biblically, is to have sex with. So to know everything would put the bi in bible. And I don't even have sex with myself. I don't know myself. Maybe I do already know everything! (in some sense).

I have google, and wikipedia, and they know (almost) everything! So I have a kind of access to omniscience, which is probably better than the real thing, I imagine. But I could be wrong. Being God might be awesome. Only God is good, the bible says. So not being God is bad. I better build a way to live forever, so I can keep reading! I've got a ways to go, you could say. My imagination and perception aren't very high-powered... Life is but a dream. Row, roe, rho your boat.

Can a supercomputer model my thought and behavior? if it has my gene sequence/dna? Could I survive as a ghost in the machine? Is the world a giant computer? The universe? Did Jesus know everything? I don't think so!! Am I already in the matrix? Is immortality possible? Desirable? Is existence always better than non-existence? Can suffering be eliminated? What is love. Does anybody know anybody, anyway? Why did the chicken cross the road?

CIPA is no pain. But it would only be desirable if you were indestructible. Maybe God is a diamond. Or lonsdaleite... Ha! I am a rock. I am an island. But I wouldn't know it, because brains are mushy! Blockhead! CIPA or H? (congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis, or heroin)? 3rd rock from the sun, aka earth. Teshara= as earth :-). Bones! (Leonard McCoy). Teshara= A Star eh?, too. Brains are the instrument with which we feel pain, but -strangely enough- doesn't feel pain, itself.

Suffering is different from pain. Suff plus T. The cross was painful. STUFF. Stuff e ring? Would that be a diamond? Lord of the rings. King of pain. KOP was written by Sting post-separation from his wife. Diamond Life, Sade. Suffer I Ng makes me think of serial-kiler Charles Ng, actually (currently on death row at San Quentin). Pa In= pain. God= get out, dad. Did the LOTR use lotrimin? Amen to that. Keepin it real. Stuff, putting the tear in material. Something to chew on. Putting the chew in spiritual! Spear it with your fork. Fork you! Good mourning.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

flight of fancy

Well, well, well said the doctor to the three little pigs. What have we here? Pork, ham, and bacon!
They felt a little sick.

Sick Sick Sick! Cried the mother of the pigs. Her address was 666 Beasty Boulevard. You shall not have my children for lunch! How 'bout breakfast and dinner, the doc retorted, that would be B.A.D.!!

You are what you eat! you know. You are a Pig, and a Beast, and a Meathead! You are as vacuous as a cow! As dirty and gluttonous as swine! You're dead meat!
-Piss off! You ain't shit!

I'll see you in Hell.  When pigs fly! A cold day in hell. Pig-angels, maybe reincarnated as pigeons! Pig-gin is a spirit that'll take you up, and then drop you back down! Hard liquor for a hard landing.

Up, up, and away. Up, up, and quit your books (the reading list at Reed college). Music soothes the savage beast. This peace is a little number I wrote for my baby. Babies, actually. My number one son, and my better half. 3 of us, a trinity. 3 on the tree, like a monkey. Hey hey we're the monkees. We don't put anybody down. Like dogs, or those who are as dumb as bricks, or passengers on the airplane.

Actually, in that last case, I would like to be put down. It's hard to breathe in space. I don't mean to insult Space, but Spacey is a rapist, and it's boring out there, not a lot to do, which isn't a put-down, just a simple statement of fact. So set the old bird down gently, por favor.

And so on and so forth.
So, Four, Esme Tupelo Clegg, etc. etc.

Friday, November 3, 2017

A little fun

Hi. My name is Phuk Yuo. That is my real name. My parents didn't know better. I am Vietnamese. My parents don't speak English. It is pronounced fook yu, but everybody calls me Fuck, here in America. What's in a name? You! Your parents were creative, in two ways: physically, and linguistically. I have nothing more to say. May the force be with you, Phuk! Well, I guess I said something.

Hi. My name is Nat. As Nat, I am in fact Satan. Or Santa, if you want to be clever. We both bring gifts. Satan brings on the pain, and Santa brings toys. The devil knows his psychology, and employs both positive and negative reinforcement, carrots and sticks, incentives and disincentives, rewards and punishments, happiness and misery. Choose wisely, my friend. You can call me...

Hi. I'm Lucille. In Winter, I wear fur. So it's a Lucy fur. Ha! Did you know ermine farms execute their animals anally, with electric prods? That's some shit! You don't want Lucifer all up in your ass. You can rest well knowing that warm people with warm personalities might actually end up in the warmest place of all! Which makes me wonder: if Absolute Zero is the lowest temperature, is there a theoretical maximum temperature, as well? Because Hell, Norway, is actually a kind of nice place (If you don't want to burn in hell, bring sunscreen!). They say the center of the sun is a pretty hot place. But the universe is a large place, and extremes could be extremely extreme way out there, somewhere.

Hi. I'm Stan Cross. I'm a friend of Pat Devlin. I know Devan Cross, too. Cassidy Starfire and Kat Starr and Sonya Solinsky are the three women I want to set up on blind dates with the three of us. A kind of holy trinity, you might say, of couples with weird names. I'll let your imagination run wild with the symbolic possibility. Honestly, though, we might get along swimmingly.

Joy dish soap, harmony snacks, cheer laundry detergent: Do these things make you Happy, I asked one of Cinderella's dwarves, in storyland. Who is the heroine of that story? I hear she's blissful, on her horse. H is for hospital, and it's also the shape of the high school I went to, which isn't all that elevated from sea-level, to be honest. Father Horsefall used to teach there. Luvs diapers and Perfection spray starch complete the picture! Have a nice trip, see you next fall!

Window panes and propane in Hell, Norway? Why not. It's all good, they say. Maybe Josie Fries lives there.

All the names are real! (I may have miss-spelled Horsfall)