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Welcome!

I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 51) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2200 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Fashion Advice

Clothing and Fashion

Naked is beautiful. But, unfortunately, it's usually illegal. So, when out of the home, or not on a nude beach or tolerant foreign country, you must be attired. What to wear? If you consider the question trivial, or not worth thinking about repeatedly, you can follow in the footsteps of the illustrious Albert Einstein, who only wore grey, so his mind could remain occupied with weightier things/matters. If you don't mind spending time and money on the sartorial, and all things fashionable, you might subscribe to the principle of 'look good, feel good.' Naked SHOULD look good, so if you don't like your appearance, the gym is a good place to start. The reward is worth it. In tandem with this, however, you should wear nice 'threads'. Dressing well really does help you feel good. Even space-time is considered a “fabric.” Priests are “men of the cloth.” And people with a surfeit of personality are “colorful.” Intelligent people are “bright.” If you feel bad, making yourself look good is a good first step to turning your frown upside down. First impressions are important, and you should dress to impress. Vestments are an investment! And your personality will conform to the image you seek to present. You are an actor -all the world's a stage. Every day is Halloween! Or, if you're not dressed to kill, so to speak, you can dress for success, because every day is a costume party! Your image, of course, is more than your body and your clothes. What you say, what you don't say, how you say it, including body-language, and your hair, facial and otherwise, as well as scent, all matter. Don't burp, fart, spit, pick your nose, sneeze and cough, any more than you would shit or vomit in public. Some things should remain private. Flatulence, eructation, expectoration, and excretion should not be on display. Smile. You're on your way.

This is of course all highly superficial. You want your quality to have depth. Don't talk to yourself. Talk to God in private. Be happy, and others will want to be around you. Be interesting. Cultivate wisdom and knowledge, be curious, there is always more to learn. Love life, and your enthusiasm will be infectious. Life is good, so do what you must to beat the blues (unless you're a democrat, ha). Make yourself useful, and do what you're good at/appreciated for, and enjoy, and you will making a living while having fun. Life should not be an endless series of chores. Play! Variety, as they say, is the spice of life. Mix it up! Keep yourself challenged, motivated, growing, interested. If you're bored, then you're boring, Tony Robbins said. And success isn't just money, or even necessarily monetary at all. You're worth is not you're “net worth.” You can make the world a better place just as much as Bill Gates. Thrive, alive! I suspect a lifetime supply of heroin, intelligently “strung-out” could make you as happy as anyone ever was or ever could be. But a better plan, I imagine, that will keep you alive (a lot) longer, is being in love, first with yourself, then your life, then a significant other, then with everyone, in the realization that we're all in this together, and we all face the same problems, and we all want to help each other out, toward mutual peace, joy, comfort, and knowing. Bliss lurks everywhere. Being happy is not as impossible as it can seem, and in fact can be as simple as pumping out some exercise endorphins, listening to music, reading a poem (or all 3 at once).

I like writing, and making lists of happy things to do. Maybe you should, too. Cultivate positivity, and eventually everything becomes enjoyable. Eating, napping, watching, listening, reading, talking, being creative, traveling, thinking, playing, learning, teaching, knowing you did your best, it's all good. God says thou shalt not kill, so maybe crushing thy enemy shouldn't be on the list. But learning self-defense is always a good idea, I think. If you live right, maybe you won't have any enemies.  I believe God loves the devil, even though he's a piece of shit. Even shit can be helpful, no? Being in love is the ultimate answer. Everything is some shit, lol. Progress requires destruction, time entails death, and comfort pain. Hatred is a challenge that is ultimately a joy to conquer, if you manage to not be consumed by it. That's all I have to say.  

Friday, October 21, 2016

Gloom and Doom

General Dynamics and the CIA
G-D

also, General Dynamics, the world's 5th largest defense contractor.
They make the F-16.

(3) cia's:
Cal Institute for the Arts (have a cousin who went there)
Cairo International Airport (CAI, iata code)
Central Intelligence Agency

plus (5) "embeds":
Drink Lupicia tea and take Cialis with Felicia Ciara Garcia!
words containing 'cia' :  LINK

(11) same letters:
ica, islamic consultative assembly (main legis. body of the iranian gvt)
      iron chef america (tv show)
      region, province, capital, and river in Peru
      immaculate conception academy (in sf, my mom went there)
aic, alice in chains
       arab-israeli conflict
aci, air crash investigation
       alameda county industries (local trash and recycling)
iac, international access code (telecommunications)
cai, computer assisted instruction
       cai rivers (Brazil) (Vietnam)

God is the central intelligent agent?  omniscient!
G-D: google discovery

Turn that frown upside down!
gloom and doom / grieving death to
giddy/glad/gleeful/gratified/grinning delight!!

"good god!" -korn
                     -james brown

Thursday, October 13, 2016

I Support Hillary

ish

with 2 caveats-
1.her giddiness strikes me as feigned.  my god, get real.
2.and pro-death:
she's a hawk, and pro-choice, and carnivore, who supports the death penalty

but I still like her
and I dislike Trump (a lot)
link

Her and abortion is like me and vegetarianism:
I see all the arguments, and consider them valid, but can't bring myself to close the deal.
I like meat!
She thinks abortion should remain legal!
(despite personally seeing abortion of an "unborn person" as "morally wrong") link
We should both change and not be hypocrites, I suppose.

(although killing your own baby seems worse than killing a farm animal)
we all have failings.  nobody's perfect.
(except God? your perfect self, as the Pope being infallible would attest)
(even Jesus said "why do you call me good.  only God is good.")

anyway,
I read HRC (which also stands for both the Human Rights Campaign, and Commission)
is a devout Methodist.  She goes to the FU Methodist Church, lol.  (Foundry United).  Methodists believe:

"Do all the good that you can, by all the means that you can, in all the ways you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." -John Wesley, founder of Methodism.

If that were all there is to being Methodist-
We should all be Methodists! (I like the Dead Milkmen song, Methodist coloring book)
method to the madness: atheist methodist! a.m.
I am.

Also, I like Bill (a Baptist)
Bill thinks life begins with breath (the spirit of God).
It's a fact, though, that life starts at conception.
Maybe we should think of orgasm as the spirit! ("omg")

i don't want to be evil,
but I honestly don't think there's much difference between
squashing a bug
from shooting somebody.
Humans are just another kind of animal.
I live with a "bug" in my head, and would love to squash him, which i guess is the devil's way of aggravation in the pursuit of bringing me to the dark side).
"lead us not into temptation" ("deliver us" from evil)

Thou shalt not kill.
You should not kill.
Don't kill.
Killing is wrong.

That's what God says, right?
Is God lying? (god is a man of war.  the art of war is deception -sun tzu)
"it's all good" (is that biblical, too?) (god is love. love believes all things)
is it the devil or god who wants you to abort?
is it still wrong if neither exist!! (i think so)
again, adoption is the loving choice.
nobody can judge their baby to be better off dead, no?
Life is good!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Green Or Democrat

GOD, lol

I got my ballot in the mail, today.
17 state propositions (51-67)
I've got both the democrats' and the greens' endorsement lists.
They differ on 6 of them. (51,54,60,61,63,65)
I'm told the best way to choose is to see who the backers/funders are.

51. Education?
I believe in pursuing your curiosity, unfettered.
So everyone should have access to libraries and the internet (and librarians).
I kind of think teachers get in the way, actually.
But I've had a lot of really great teachers, as well.

"all right" (my voice keeps saying that.  it's getting really annoying)

I think all books should be available digitally, to everyone, free.
And there should be systems like I enjoy here in Berkeley, available globally, for actual physical books.   I have in mind the Link+ system, which links hundreds of libraries, and can obtain most anything.   I think education investment should be for that.
Questions, answered in forums, are just as good as a classroom, imho.
and online classes, like coursera, open yale courseware, flashcards, etc. are great, too!
The best teachers should teach everyone!
Everybody should get a phone/tablet/computer.
Language instruction needs classrooms.  Or travel and immersion.

Dems say yes, Greens no.
I have to say No.  
Jerry Brown thinks the money would be better spent in poorer districts.
My dad is the director of the Burlingame Adult School.
So I'll have to ask him, I guess.
And my aunt was the principal of St. Elizabeth's, in Oakland.
I'll see her this Saturday (her birthday! (friday))

54. Legislature Transparency
Dems say no, Greens yes. 
after reading the green rationale, I have no idea.
vote whatever

60. Mandating condoms in porn
dems no, greens whatever.
Making porn less sexy is better for women?
so Yes.

61. drug purchasing
dems whatever, greens yes.
I say yes.  
National Nurses United, which supported Bernie say yes, while the drug industry and Ca doctors are in an "incestuous and cozy" financial relationship.

63.  firearms and ammunition sales prohibition
dems say yes, greens no.
it sounds good, but the greens are right, because it exempts cops and retired cops (ordinary citizens, like us, some of whom abused their power), a violation of equal protection standards.
NO

65. Bags
I used to be a grocery store "courtesy-clerk" (bagger)
I would say "kill a tree or erode the ozone?"...
Dems whatever, Greens no.
"one of the most disingenuous ballot measures in state history"
NO.

I think I'm a green, lol.
I'm a registered Dem
The green voter guide is well-researched and extremely persuasive.
see it yourself! :
http://acgreens.wordpress.com/voter-guides

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Relapse

notes from a Kaiser group discussion about

7 things to reduce/prevent relapsing

1.strategies for coping with stress
stress can be internal (body/mind), or external (e.g. relationships)
out, in: out of your head, in the present moment
   exercise/walk, shower
   meditate, nap, go to church
   conversation 
   read, listen to music, watch tv
   write/journal/blog, make art
   good food, enough sleep
   routine/variety.
       sameness can be good.  change can be good, too.

___
this reminds me of my list of activities (Most Everything):
bio: body, input, output
b-eat, exercise, sleep
i-read, watch, listen
o-write, talk, create
also,
vatog: visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, gustatory
(see, hear, touch, smell, taste)
____
2.participate in treatments that help you recover
    kaiser "wellness club" (tuesdays/thursdays 10:30a to 12p, drop-in),
    therapy- e.g. cbt (cognitive behavioral therapy) group, individual
    meds (i.e. medication, medicine, pharmaceuticals, drugs)
    community, family, friends

3.build social supports
      we all need someone to lean on! -Rolling Stones (Let it bleed)
       211 (3 digit phone number to connect you with services)
       Kaiser Oakland Dept. of Psychiatry (752-1075)
      google 'crisis support', or 'suicide hotline'
      Berkeley has a Mobile Crisis Team
         (981-5254, voicemail)
         (981-5900, for quick service, connects to police dept.,
           who will contact MCT for you)

4.use medication effectively
       -follow dosage/frequency, as directed
      - changes mind/behavior: find balance between Authenticity and
                                      Staying out of trouble (e.g. hospital or jail)
       -side-effects, interaction effects (be aware of)
       -adjust as necessary
       -some can self-medicate, w/o professional (i.e. doctor's) guidance
            (alcohol and pot and tobacco, e.g., can work/help,
              but also be problematic)
        -if you're on vacation/forgot your meds, you can get
            like 1 week of Emergency supply from most pharmacies

5.recognize events or situations that contributed to Relapses in past.
         sleep changes
         ADL changes (activities of daily living)
        energy-level changes
        (for me, a pot edible) also,
        my handwriting changes (wide range, from neat/legible to not)

6.know early warning signs that you might be starting to have a relapse
             -ew signs, lol

7.Respond, Act!
          get help, before becoming full-blown
          -family, friends, professional(s)

Monday, October 3, 2016

factoids

7 of them

My friend Caitlin had an essay on sex/internet yesterday, so:
I queried Google with 'what percentage of internet traffic is porn?"
    -depending on how you measure it, anywhere between 4 to 30%

Today,
I overheard someone say that "The body regenerates all its cells every 7 years, so technically we become a new person..."
   -This is false.  Brain cells/neurons from the cerebral cortex, don't get replaced, for example.  Different tissues have different growth and replacement rates.  Fat is replaced at a rate of 10% a year (so new fat every 10 years, on average).

I also overheard today,
'Habanero' is actually the word for a resident of Havana, Cuba.
The pepper is named that on the theory that it has a Cuban origin.

I saw a sign today,
it said 1/4 of the homeless are U.S. military veterans.
This is false, too.  It was estimated in 2013, 12% of the homeless were veterans.  Either way, it's a big problem.

also,
'Latin' america is a weird term.  I mean, they don't speak Latin.
But Spanish, Portuguese, and French (as well as Italian, Romanian, and Catalan) are Romance languages (itself named after Roman origins, not necessarily xo flowers and candy and makin' whoopie), which are all derived from "vulgar" Latin (Vulgar doesn't mean that all they spoke were swear-words!)  It means the common/colloquial/nonstandard sociolect, contrasted with "classical" Latin.

from Snapple facts:
(It's a big reason I buy snapple!  I wish other companies provided trivia, too. U-haul does),
I learned that "the average dog can understand over 150 words."

and finally,
I was wondering why Ireland is the land of ire.  I mean, really?
Turns out, as entertaining as that might be, Ireland is actually named after a pre-christian goddess of the land and sovereignty (the matron goddess of the island), Eire, derived from Old Irish 'Eriu'.   So much for being the land of anger and rage and irritation!  Even Hell, Norway, is a pretty nice place!

Saturday, October 1, 2016

What to Do

As if I don't have enough, already
starting 2017 (giving myself 3 months to prepare)
   -idea: a sheet to record what i've read, daily/year.
age 45, but starting fresh daily :-)

job i love, woman i love, in love with life  (ILL!!)
read lists, (then everything, the entire library!*)
learn/master aikido
travel, restaurants, museums
body-build, daily maintenance/improvement
buy house, raise a family

that seems like enough, lol
and i'm happy, already! (enjoying myself being alone, actually)
(so it doesn't matter as much if I never achieve completion!)

Books I've Loved:
  The Prisoner of Zenda was my favorite book, when I was a kid.
(by Anthony Hope)

authors
Douglas Adams, Anne Rice, Kurt Vonnegut, Mark Twain
Franzen, Anais Nin, Tolkien
---
Isabel Allende- house of spirits
Gabriel Garcia Marquez- 100 years of solitude
Mikhail Bulgakov- The Master and Margarita
Pratchett and Gaiman- Good Omens
Camus- The Stranger; Sartre -Nausea
Burroughs- Naked Lunch
Gibson- Neuromancer
Alejo Carpentier- The Lost Steps
George Eliot- Middlemarch
Manzoni- The Betrothed
Yuval Noah Harari -Sapiens
The Year's Best Horror and Fantasy (short stories)
Leopold- A Sand County Almanac
Jorge Amado- Tent of Miracles

must reads-
atlas, proust, bible
maybe Shakespeare (if you can get the weird words clarified)

more recently enjoyed:
Lev Grossman, Bill Bryson, Terry Pratchett (word candy!)
(actually, no.  plenty nutritious brain food)

Lists:
1. a)Bill Gates recommendations (from his blog); link
    b)Jose Vargas, friend, lit instructor, suggestions:
       Ficciones -Borges, El Reino de este mundo, nocturno de chile
       Between the world and me, by Ta-Nehise Coates
    c)Michael Helbush, friend, retired professor; link (Bloom's canon)
           noted, especially: Melville's -Moby Dick
    d)Pierre's picks: The Expanse sci-fi series, by James SA Corey
 2.1001 books you Must Read Before You Die
     (I photocopied the author index); link
3. title index, (forgot the source, mystery book!)
      from Absalom Absalom to Zuckerman Unbound.
      (also photocopied, just the titles-list)
4. 501 Must-Read Books
       (I shrunk 2 pages to fit on one photocopied page, small print)
        link (I think this online list is different)
5. The complete set of Newbery award winners and honor-books
      (1922-present); link

*maybe I'll learn to be able to speedread with superintelligent ability at some point in the future.