Blessed Messes

 and a clean scene

ethical ethereal, paradise pairs (and pears!), heavenly hovels, lovely lives, holy lowly, sacredly aching

personally, I believe we are only bodies.   We're like bubbles, that eventually pop.  Or candles, that burn down.   Or flowers, that wilt.  Or snowmen.  Life is short.  Seize the day.

Silence is golden.   You can find God in the quiet.  You can hear her.  So I'll shut up.   I'm a stranger to myself.   I learn new things from what I have written, in the past, revisited.  So I'll shut up.  And sometimes noise annoys.   A sound mind...  is prayer without ceasing madness?  Is god mad?  I AM

Tchaikovsky Hymn of the Cherubim, on YouTube 

:-)

Ugh.  misery.   Dead end.  Feeling low.  Like owL.   Am I making owls lives worse?  This music is intense.  Tchaikovsky’s hymn of the cherubim, for an hour, off youtube.  I’m alone, with Rover and the cat and the hamster.   And my thoughts.  My blog.  My record.  I guess I’ve said everything.   So I’ll let God speak, in the silence.   

I’m basically a fly.   I’m just an animal, that eats too much pig.  Sorry, pigs.  Standard American diet has got me feeling down.   I’m an addict.  Pastor tacos.  Los pericos.   Uno regular, uno super.  Lo usual.  Should I fast?  Should I go to safeway.  I have cream cheese, bread, tomatoes, coffee, milk and half and half, eggs, gnc powder, apples and peanut butter, and oatmeal.   No need to shop.   I like to bake myself in the sun, off and on.  

I could read wikipedia, email, news, masd, or books left out for me, here.  No lack of stimulus.  I could go to Nations.  I can walk Rover.  I can pick up poop and oranges.  I can play with the hamster.  I can buy tacos.  At least I’m not eating shit.   Maybe I kind of am.  whatever.

V

You’re god Jesse.  I know

Pretty fly for a white guy

Brown dog

okay, life goes on

I’m maybe at the halfway point.   49.  50 in September.  6 months.

This music is glorious

churchiness-  

daze ahead, Jesus is the good news (if only truth).   

3 threes: mad, medically assisted dying.  foe, fruit of earth.  bat, blessed art thou.  rc, redemption of christ.  oblation, obstetric lay shun.  putting the scare in Iscariot.  

   sss, standing in solidarity with sinners.   lit during liturgy.  drunk on a donkey.  sister cistercian, can't chant.  magnifi-cat, Cappadocia Anatolia Turkey.   temporarily contemplative.   

   obsessed, repressed, or possessed.   (inexpressible love) said, expressed, put into words.  LD, lexio divina vs. lethal dose, latter day, lucifer devil; session processional, chance of chants, required choir,  internal intern, external execution, and an idle idol.

you're really really why for everybody, Jesse -v

Corpuscles

Corporations and People

If corporations can be considered persons, can individual persons be corporations?  I know a lawyer who said his mind had a PR department.  Add THAT to your list of psychological functions, Mr. Freud!   Ego, Id, Superego, Thanatos, and PR department, lol.  

Maybe Jesus’ 12 apostles was a kind of corporation.   The body of christ,  interpreted as a corporation.   Cops and rations are a part of corporation, I just feel like pointing out.  It’s like the Borg, you will be assimilated.  Onward, christian soldiers.  

Gangs, tribes, cliques, nations, teams, clubs, parties, organizations, groups, collectives, sects:  they’re all corporations, of a kind.  Like the marine corps.   Their corps is closer to corpse.  But the peace corps is further, I’d say.  A religion or cult is of course a corporation.  Families are their own little units, with their own rules.  Cults of personality.

Corporal and corps and corpse and corporeal and incorporeal all relate.   There’s a song, murder incorporated, by Bruce Springsteen.  And another, different, damage incorporated, by Metallica.  Thievery Corporation, yet another.  If you want to do evil, maybe you want to spread the guilt around, nice and corporate.  Just following orders, your honor.  

Corpse rations, cannibalism.  Christianity and Hannibal Lecter and cannibal corpse (a band) and Albert Fish and whatever indigenous tribes that might still be eating each other.   Not to mention, desperate castaways or other survivalists.  

Us and Them, a song by Pink Floyd.   Like races or sexes or sexual orientation or what have you.   Even humans vs. (other) animals.   Many religions preach ALL ONE, unity, and everything connected to everything else…  But there’s also war, and litigation, and the strategy of divide and conquer.  Well, maybe you’d rather be CEO of your own cult than a cog in some universal machine.  Self-aggrandizement over submission and humility.

Have fun, whatever you are!

Jess

Wuzzup, dawg

 Hello.  Hi.  Hey.  Greetings.  Yo.  Hola. Aloha.  

You, Universe, world, internet, blogosphere, people, AI’s, gente, folks!  My name is Jesse Lawrence Teshara.  JLT.  I was adopted.  My mom is Peggy Teshara (nee Margaret Delia Hennessy).  My dad was Larry Teshara.  (Mr. T, like his dad, Ben) middle name, William.  My birth mom is Annette V Riddle.  My birthfather was Richard Stollnitz.   Yup, dad was a dick.  My godfather's name was Richard, too.  4,9,9 (pythagorean numerology).  22.  (there are other numerologies, other bases). V for versus, verses, victim, vampire, lizard people.  Vp, mvp.  Veep, value.   Buddha, too.  Go 49ers.  Highway 49.  Al Gore.  Four, metaphor.  Met a Four. My ex used to work at 49er video.  13, you lose.  Proposition 13.  Jesus.  Anyway, V for Vendetta has a monologue of all the v words.  V for vengeance is a novel by Sue Grafton. The reptilians V stands for Visitors.  V is the 6th least-used letter in the alphabet.   ‘Letters’ can be interpreted as ‘blood-letters’, a layer of v for vampire. Words of christ in red, is a type of bible.  I was once asked, “have you been washed in the blood of Jesus?”.  BBC also stands for the body and blood of christ.  Jesse means “the whole office of the eucharist”, and “god makes forget”.  In Spanish, it’s Chuy (pronounced chewy), or Isai (eesaw-e), or Jesus (hey, zeus).  You can call me Jess.  Jesus can be, Jess U.  Me?  Don’t take the lord’s name in vain.  Or H in veins.  Vanity, all is vanity.  Vanity fair.  Eucharist, eu a christ.   A christ is just somebody annointed with chrism (oil).  U Jess.  3.8.  Like C8, Cate.  Smiling God.  God is One, but also 8.  8 sideways, infinity.  You, why god smiles.  OMG.  O for offense and orgasm (among others).  0 and 1, binary, f and m, female and male, hole and phallus.  Death and oblivion are for forever.  The universal fate. 

  

Heaven is for suckers.  So is hell.  Everybody dies, same fate, for sinners and saints.  Breathing is a process of suck and blow.  Lollipops in heaven.  Bloodsucking leaches?  The world is a vampire.  The Big Suck.  Predator and Prey.  Nature, red in tooth and claw.  Vampires are demons, if you bite people, that’s a criminal offense, assault.  Prison ain’t heaven.  If you think you’re immortal, you’re insane.  Mad.  Crazy.  Nuts.  Loco.  Like priests.  If you believe in heaven, you probably also believe in the possibility of eternal torment.  Of course, you can sit in a cell, and read, write, and rot.  Not hellish, necessarily. Poet, did you know it?  Don’t burst my bubble.  Then again, that’s your decision.  The incision decision division.   Bit?  Bitch.   Life’s a bitch and then you die.  Female dogs and dogma.  All dogs go to heaven.  Doggy-style.  Catty pussies, with 9 lives.  Vampires and ire at vamps, (seductresses and femme fatales).   Til death do you part?  Orgasm is the little death.  old.  Corporate identity, a multitude, I and I, me myself and I, etc.  Like Jesus, with his trinity, or smart kids with invisible friends, or schizophrenics with voice(s), or even gangs, all for one and one for all.  You can be your own nation, in fact, with your own laws (israel was a person), in your head, virtually.  Your life can be a movie.  You should enjoy watching yourself.  Maybe red is your favorite color.   Go paint the town red, you psychopath.

what's a psychopath?  not psychosis or psychopathology!  antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits.  synonym of sociopath.

some church nuttiness:

wholly weak, RC church (roller coaster of life), resurrection and revived, om, opiate of the masses, LSD (the lord is my Light, Salvation, Daily), infinite love, infinite mercy...

   deconstructions:  spear it, a pawn, hymn, just ice, tea ching, wok and walk, p raise

and a lord of the rings things: suffer ring 

    keep praying, be kind, suffering is not wasted, after rain comes sunshine, good from bad, truth always wins, wait and be gentle, in the silence of our hearts, there is light and joy even in suffering, such as with prisoners, in dungeons....if not until the afterlife, maybe, keep the faith. Hope and optimism, as an "easter people"

Good Times

 FUN

Endorphins, sweaty exercise

Friendship, fun conversation

Food, tasty restaurant meals, etc.  (good thyme!)

Sex, massage, swimming, shower, (surfing?)

Waking early, achieving to do list, reading

Making money, spending money

     New toys, shopping

youtube, movies, ted, onion, standup comedy

     Animation, documentaries, nature, scifi

Going to the beach, sunning yourself

Nature and hiking and camping

Music, jokes, satire, comedy, joe frank, podcasts

   "salon dijon" (for celine dion)

Travel, variety, excitement…..love

Relaxing, doing nothing, meditating, writing

Being alone

NOT

Being annoyed, around morons

death, killing, anarchy, mayhem, chaos

Getting away with murder, being a criminal

Torment and torture

Sick 

Make anything fun, get well (impossible, sick)

Do the pleasant, avoid the unpleasant

Then, life won’t be a chore or disturbing

One with the universe, om

integrity, stay true to yourself, your values

pray for grace from the lord….. Of whom, “vengeance is mine”

   fun topical note:  Suez is Zeus, backwards!

Gr

Be happy, not stupid and greedy and mean

People ARE idiots, but you can make fun of them

He who calls others dumb is in danger of hellfire 

   Or something to that effect - be good! :-)

All in all is all we are?  Soul rotation, light of your face

Everybody and everything is deserving of attention

from the trivial to the sublime, muggles to gods, always and everywhere 

Murder stats

222,000 murders since 1980 in the usa;  40% unsolved

Maybe 2000 serial killers out there, operating, one estimate

Unless it’s only 37! (says Amazon Echo)

(a serial killer is 3+ (human) victims, 

     over longer than a month, with breaks between)

"a series of two or more murders, committed as separate events, usually, but not always, by one offender acting alone". -fbi

Immerse in books, the only way..   Vicarious experience, wisdom.

Depth, BE GOOD.  Keep reading.  Invaluable, Priceless.

Priceless princess.  Stay free, lol.  Miss the missus. 

Email from fema-  femail !

Who the fuck was Jesus?

I mean, seriously.  Jess U? ‘it IS torment’ -v

‘you’re a little more advanced than Jesus was’,  ’I’m serious, Jesse’

general manager, managing generals (with specifics)

dying for our sins when sin doesn't even exist

sin is god's law

everyone has their own code

the only rules are the actual legal code: 

     statutes, ordinances, international law, decrees

     rules, regulations, constitution, legislation, litigation

     public, private, religious law; equality, justice, and fairness

     depending on where and when you live, state, country, jurisdiction

     criminal law, morality and ethics, virtue and vice

     spirit of the law and letter of the law

     no such thing as "the law" (not one body, but several)

there's a lot of c's: common, civil, criminal, constitutional, contracts, commercial, comparative (legislatures codify and consolidate law)

v's

you're not to blame, jesse - I'm laughing

uR kind of a monster, I'm not even kidding

you're absolutely law, jesse; she knows you, you're fucking right

you're well, jesse

BOB

Bit of babble

Pages, pay to jizz

Eat an apple, cum pewter

Listen to music, list ten 2 sick cat (mew)

write, right, rite, wright, and wryt

Wryting about catholic radio

1260 in my neck of the woods

Which happens to also have been my sat score

Rye bread as bread of life?  going awry

A wry sense of humor, jewish or russian

Gru and mossad, groot and moss

A vision was planted in my brain

A seed, blossoming into a tree of knowledge

Knowing biblically, I dunno

God knows all, they say

Sounds like a hypothetical, to me

Spiritual mafia is a band 

Psychic violence

Side kick with a violin

Vile inn, vile lynn, vial in

A kick to the side, under the table

Horseflies bite

Regal beagle, royal oil, king of things, queen of mean

A hog for a dog, a litter of white trash

Do hamsters taste like ham?

The kind kind, typing about a type

Muse sick, mew zick

A zick is a nickname for Isaac

Isaac the cat,  🎼

monster master

obedient, Obed y Ent (bible and Tolkien references)

proscribed and problematic behavior

masterclass in dog training, :-)

Going Mental

 The Source

che and lsd and ass!:

The source of all goodness, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, of all creation

Love, Source and Destiny:  We come from him, and go to him

At the center of everything, all flows from him

Center of the universe 

All glory and honor is yours, forever and ever

    No glory and honor for anyone else!

    Name is Jealous

A Single Source 

Some shit

Mentalisms:

    Instrumental, elemental, fundamental, judgmental, ornamental, monumental, experimental, sentimental, governmental, environmental, incremental, temperamental, decremental, sacramental, departmental, developmental, segmental, supplemental, regimental, rudimental, apartmental, managemental, firmamental

mensans with heart (magic man, straight on)

   men sans (without), men without hats

what a load, take a load off annie 

never mind, do what you feel - feel til the end

enigma and ss

thawt, ought

deliberation

thinking, thin king

cogitate, cerebrate, 

consider, conceive, contemplate, 

reflect on, ponder, ruminate, 

meditate on, mull over, muse, 

do what you think is right, what is best

de-liberate?  ugh

mbs, mind body spirit

heartless, thoughtless, incorporeal, spiritual

beginnings

Big Bang, first living thing, conception

ends

heat death of universe, last living thing, death

immortality v. oblivion

god doesn't care what you believe, if he's truly good

there's good reason to believe in impermanence and oblivion

heaven as a surprise would be the most heavenly! right?

wit, with him, in him, through him

ho ho ho: holy hope hosanna, home, hoax

dc, divinity of christ

celebrating mass, sell a bra?  male ass?

god of mercy (has the power to destroy)

across the world (making the world cross)

pd, police department, passion and death

intentions, tension, 10 chins, 10 shins

awesome, ah sum, oss um; majesty, ma jess t

grace, gr;   pray, prey (to the lord)

      like in pulp fiction, quoting, strike down with furious anger...

the word of the lord is really a lot of words

     dictionary, all languages, never stop praying, stream

my hour has not yet come, ow cum 

     knot yeti, ha

rare prayer, sexy expiation

light life, debt death

rover, over.   roger, roger.  It's rover, roger.  roger that.

deck and patio.  Declan and Patty O

coup, coop, co-op, coupe, co-opted

norwegian, norse, nordic, and scandinavian 

   avian navy scanned

spacetime and GNC (geographically n' chronologically)

cox, cocks, clocks, and a load of crock

lucky Loki's lackey

rude food, dude

break (bones) fast for breakfast

a bunch to munch and crunch for lunch

sinners having your innards for dinner

marryin' an aryan vegetarian

a fruit in a vegetative state

Saladin in my salad, sad

GRU

gruff grunt with a grudge, gruesome

gruyere, grub, and gruel

grumbling grump

grunge grooves that grew on me

bride and groom, rooting for groot

cruel gruel and sad mossad and see eye, eh?

weeping creeps, tears for fears, the power of flowers

spooks reading books about nukes

whoa, woe

Hate Speech, Incitement, Fighting Words

 cuts both ways

One hit wonder, getting the jab at the hospital, cheap shots at a bar, the wind blows, fruit punch, boxing packages, getting your kicks, a calm bat, neophyte, establishment and constabulary, shooting a documentary, wore clothes, upper cut at UC, roundhouse around the house, offer to off her, ill to kill, sick to stick, solid soldier, and wet puns and dry ving!

Tanks B2 gawd

 Separation from sepsis, find favor

Eucharist and me-charist (give meek a rest)

SF, spiritual food, food for spirits (hungry ghosts)

    internet, inter net, spiders and flys, on the web

    steadfast love, sins and failings, serve and follow

    sex and food, san francisco, suck and fuck, sunflower

    swordfish, swedish fish, sweden finland, strong feelings

transexual and transvestite transgression

He who comes in the name of the lord, blessed id

cum, nam, of (female orgasm) jesus christ!  omg

Mental about the sacramental

you, ewe, ew (entered willingly)

you, why god smiles

dim, died in your mercy

dag, deeper awareness of god

Claire’s clarity, Larry T;  Roger the raj

Confusion and confrontation

reverent revenant, end of reverend

che, creator of heaven and earth

Said and did, head and heart, gracious god, prayers and petitions, life and love

ahem, bethlehem

Galilee, gal a leader

carnation, abomination, indignation, denomination

Persevere and perseverate, pursuing purse

procalim, acclaim; profess, confess

Refuse refuge

Ailing, daily

hebrews and king of eternal glory

Grace, acing anger

Male and female, mercy and forgiveness

lol, land of living, Lodi, land of dead? Ay!

Evalu8 

Deliverance, defiance, dance

mass is ended

silence, violence;  hannibal the cannibal

have a heart, look out for one another, take into account

adam's apple, schwetty balls, tall drink of water

heath bar, butterfinger, big hunk, bad ass

Iceland is an island, eye Lynn 

I'll isle, exile - ex isle, aisle

the height of whiteness

fightin' titan

lao tzunami

sos, sent to outer space

having a ball, eyeball and gonad gruel

gays exchange blows, lol

getting sight right

itno, (coming, killing) in the name of

you're in g-d (great danger?)

do crows really murder?

flaming flamingoes

fryin' friends (ends)

girls grrls and urls

fence - female ents

good and giddy, bad badger

om, ordinary minds

s and m, simple minds

ore, mined

mind made up

masochism and mass chrism

at war with the warden of the psych ward

forget, forge t, iron cross

whorer horror, on junk and in a funk

doors of perception, doppler and dollops

doll ops

maundy Monday? 

the mahdi will rid the world of evil and injustice, cleansing all hearts by means of the name of god :  Jealous (?).   That's one powerful word!!  

end of times: throw away your clocks and watches, lol

dk (dorling kindersley), divine kingdom

gobs of observations, penetrating insights on the establishment

bishops shopping for bicycles

rc, royal court

gtr, general theory of relativity, git r' done!

the Iditarod trail is IT (1135 miles!) 

dag, deputy attorney general

dae, dictionary atlas encyclopedia

Sour cream and ice cream, feeling the scream

snac on see's nuts and chews

Intrigue, in a tree;  lyin’ lion

Mom, PLT, a Leo (panther, lion, tiger)

cat, communication and transportation

     thoughts and constructions

Tiger, anger in Thailand

Tuna, stay tuned

James Beard, beer, bears, and biers

fantasy, soda and candy, fanta and see's

Blade runner and A doll’s house

   hi, henrik Ibsen

burying Barry

toppling the topless

A ferrari in Harare, car czar

Ski in Skien (Norway)

Barack watching Baraka

Levels of sadness, tiers of tears

Calcu-late, p.m. (physicist, mathematician)

Saint, Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla

sick, hungry - germans in Hungary

Car path through the Carpathians

Treatment, a mint treat

Electrocution?  “Charges being brought against”

Vibes and energy and electric vehicles

More of Maura, presence and absence

A dozen cousins, five wives

Loner in solitude playing solitaire

grades: second grade, BAF (branches of the armed forces)

mistletoe and missile (theory of everything)

aa, artificial and affected, forced and false, inauthentic insincere

Playing mandolin with mandarins in mandalay

crazy kzsu, cpr with kcpr, hospital with whrb

wprb problem

instrumental elemental

mad hatter of Manhattan 

programming, get with the program

matrix of your mother

integrated studies is what is is

of late, recently sent lee

waste of thyme

the devil is hot - Jesus, freeze us

choosing your jews

devil, fired up when all hell breaks loose

together forever, whatever's clever

infinitely in it, infinitesimal decimal

universe, one verse, a puny curse, muni or a hearse

go slow, but fast is a blast, speed-read, vapid rapids

haste makes waste, but you can bang her with languor

thirst to make the worst burst, a mighty fight

hm, sf.  have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and 

bring us to eternal life, societal progress, but I digress

is impermanence permanent?

a diamond for Wyman, simple Simon was a pie man

die mond, death world, a hard guard, rock em sock em

silently violent, the big ape escaped 

lord, elle or dude, lady or dame, lucifer or devil

gorbachev, good or bad

heeding leaders' needs

for speedy seedy deeds (on weed)

a tea ceremony that teaches each treachery

dedicated, medicated, educated

a universe:  Sunni- immersed, nursing a new knee

S+P 500, serve and protect, Sara and Pierre,

scribes and pharisees, supplications and prayer

fair seas

do I, also, have pretensions to superior sanctity?

god humbles himself, hh

allah, is all (ah), both haughty and humble

his and her, holy and hallowed, heaven hell, happy hateful

all in all is all we are

godland, a comic book

drinking it in

words of christ in red

    reading creed on weed

chewing things over (ideas)

  anne rice, joyce carol oates, Phyllis wheatley

  James Juice, Leo Toastoy...

ofs, doves, love: 

bread of life, chalice of salvation, lamb of god, sins of the world, 

supper of the lamb, peace of christ, cleansed of faults, 

serpent of bronze, the other sob

ail, well- daily, welcome

prelude renewed (lewd nude)

cool or cruel, magic or tragic

pov of love

nations:

domination, determination, damnation, discrimination, disinclination, denomination, dissemination, vaccination, coordination, subordination, predestination, contamination, recombination, miscegenation, pollination, indoctrination, exsanguination, hallucination, condemnation, consternation, concatenation

bb

body building, big n bad, broken bread, body and blood, bb king

ow

grow, obeying will, increase in quality and quantity, merit and number

book of numbers - 42!