Goo

What

If I had superpowers, such as access to every book ever written, with a mind that can process it all, and a brain that could read fast enough to get through it in a single lifetime, I would pursue omniscience within me with the same zest as I would pursue a perfect, enlightened society, around me.

I have the super power of creating a baby. I have the superpower of enjoying delicious food.

I can make my body strong and beautiful. I can make people laugh. I can write.

I can walk dogs like you wouldn't believe. I can read the best books, and read aloud to children.

I can be a friend. I can think, cogitate, process, philosophize, converse, discuss, participate.

I can eat, drink, piss, shit, sleep, and move stuff around, like everybody else.

I want to say I can kill evil people, but, no, not really: I can't, it's illegal, I could suffer for being moral.

I can pray. Maybe there's prey in prayer. I could join a military, but I don't believe in obeying orders, or serving countries, or killing foreign soldiers just because of history or ignorance or stupidity or the hell of it. I feel no camaraderie with fellow soldiers just because they inhabit the same piece of land I do, demarcated by borders I have nothing to do with.

If I want to kill, well meat is delicious, and they can suffer for my need, my appetite.

They say worms will eat me, after I'm dead, so there IS a kind of justice, I guess.

If I am my body, and my body is cremated, is that me burning in hell? I think not.

Once I'm dead, my body is not me. I would not suffer being burned, incinerated, obliterated to dust.

I could turn into dust rapidly, by fire, or slowly, by time. It matters not. I'll be dead, eternally.

The meaning of life is simple and basic. It's whatever you want it to be. You can raise a family, or die alone, slowly. You do what you enjoy. Have fun, you only live once. Eat good food. Stay healthy, so you can keep reading interesting, fun, well-written books. Laugh and play, sleep and dream. Make a difference, be good, make money, spend it well. Meditate, do nothing at all. Do what thou wilt. It's all good. Be yourself, love life. Don't worry, be happy. Extinguish greed, hatred, and delusion. Be wise, enlightened, blissful, aware. Be intelligent, discerning, curious, informed, well-read, educated. Be true, right, correct, honest, helpful, caring, kind, loving, positive, compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, and approach life with equanimity (calmness, equilibrium, composure, mental and emotional stability). Love-bliss is among the highest virtues, which could be an acceptance and appreciation for all things, or, centered on a single person. I can engage in sitting meditation, walking meditation, or even television-meditation. I can throw meditation to the wind. I can breathe, and shit.

The truth one arrives at through meditation is both personal and universal.

Remember, you are unique, just like everybody else, lol.

All in all is all we are, sang Nirvana.

Now everybody's me, said The Dead Milkmen.

We are things, too. Biomass, like leaf cuttings. Bones, like rocks. Piles.

Alive! Enjoy it while you can!

We are Gods, Demons, good and bad, now and then.

We simply are, occupying time and space, neither good nor bad, too.

We play roles, we can be each other. Perhaps there is no true self.

Extinguish hate and love, be one with the universe, you are the walrus, you are the lemon!

The universe is indifferent, endless, cold and dark. You are your own universe.

You can escape your own mind, or enrich it, with books and movies and music and plays and dance, new activities, travel, museums, zoos, restaurants, libraries, exercise, different jobs, new people...

I am, of course, talking to myself. Writing can be a form of insanity. Community is shared insanity.

Cum unity in the Seine, haha.

Cultivate your cult. Grow your gr. Raise your ray.

Step into the light. Be enlightened. Pass on your flame to another candle.

Be good. Be goo!

Cum on feel tha noyz. Get wild, wild, wild.

Get down and dirty. Get dad. Together, to get her. Pain, pa in. Madre, mad again.

Sexual healing, sh. Sh it. She-it. Shiite. Sunny daze, everything's a-okay. Friendly neighbors...

love thy neighbor. Jim Naybors. LT and Jim. Bacon lettuce and tomato and gym.

Be good, be god, be...gawd

Stuffy in here

rambling on

Weird thoughts. Wired thaw oughts. All for naught. Knotty boys and girls. Boise and Gr urls. Good morning, people. Go overdose, you mourning penis pullers. Vampires, is ma perv? Dad, dumb and dangerous. Death and disease. Father, fat her. Papa, pop a (bubble? Balloon?) Roosters, hens, cocks. Finger licking good. Cock-suckers. Meat me at the station. Stay, shun. Hello! Hell low. Healthy and well? wealthy and hell. Hello, hell ow. Pain. Pa inside. Santa Claus is coming! Satan's claws is cumming? Hello- hell orgasm (birth!) six dogs. Sic 'em, dogs. Sicks. Satan IX. Saturnine. Waitin on satan, said the hater-waiter. Evil is eve, ill. Born to die. Impermanence. Even your nice curly perm. And permafrost. Frosty the snowman, made of water, like us, kind of. Angkor Wat, er. Er...what? ER, emergency room. Can I get a cup of water? With my c.o.w., stay hydrated. Hybrid, hi Bridget! Toyota, toy yoda. Honda, deep (spanish). Honey, duh. Funny money for honey bunny. When your nose is runny, you might think it's funny, but it's snot! I go where Hugo. Ingest (in Jess T). Jesse Teshara, Jester. In court, in Courtney. Don't take the name of the Lord in vain. In vein. Jesus? Jess, u! Smile, universe, university, you. You are your own universe. One verse. You are not your name. You are your body. Not a soul. Souls don't exist. Sole person left, solitary, in solitude. Your soul is you, alone. Al-1. Sol the sun (spanish), sol the (mexican) beer, sole the fish, sole of your foot or shoe, all do. (5) Al (Gore) won! Wun, wan, one... OB1 (obi wan) kenobi, you are our only hope. Hope, Arkansas. Hopi indians. Hops and beer. Bunny hop. Hopping mad. Mom and dad. Madness. Stream of consciousness, rivers of blood, rob. Oceans of time. Lakes of fire. Flammable liquids. Earth hater (E rath), heart. Ear to hear. Gary Hart. Hartman. Fireplace, hearth. Hear the earth burn. Teshara, as earth. On fire, in the zone, like Michael Jordan. Jordan is a river. River Phoenix. Verri arrive. Arriviste. Air or error. Hair, hari krishna. Krishna consciousness. Unconsciousness. Death, hated, heat'd, drug enforcement agency, what's the deal? Don't you let that deal go down! Go down, God own. A special hell for God, alone. There is no hell or heaven. The only afterlife is the life that exists after, without you. God is dead? Dread. Gawd. All wheel drive- different than 4wd! Life is strife, rife with knife, wife, fifes, haifa, pife and tife, and cypher! Rhyme crime. Rap crap. Stabbing pains in the establishment. Word turds. Babble bubble. Crops go pop. Markets overheat? Metaphor, met a Four. Leaves leave the plant. Robert Plant and Leif Erikson, study STEM. On strike, scabs. Eat your cornflakes. Scarab beatles. Sugar corn pops. Suge knight. Pop! Pop! Brown sugar, how cum you taste so good? Enlighten-mints. Don't mince words (alphabet soup?) Brown sugar, chocolate milk, caramel complexion, african affairs, american a merry can. Mary and Eric can. Mary and Erica. Uh, Mare ica (immaculate conception academy), cia, lupicia, aci (alameda county industries), acai berries, and female body inspectors, bfi, and fib (don't lie!). Lye, lay, lie. Ham on rye. Jewish or russian rye. Wry sense of humor. Hume or? Kant, I can't. Galactic lay line. Mai Lai. MLK jr. milk. Mil (spanish for a thousand), A thousand kills. Martin Luther King and his ilk. Milk an elk. Elk's club, the Masons, skull and bones. Secret societies. Sucrets. Seek wretched. Ciga wretched. Turret's syndrome, tur-wretched. Retch, vomit, puke, hurl, blow chunks. The wind blows, the vacuum sucks, oral vaginal anal- are ova. Ovum, ovaries, over easy. Monthly mooning, bare ass. Bears and donkeys, bad. Keith Moon, lunacy. Crazy ticks. Lunatics! A thousand grains of sand. Insane in the membrane, insane in the brane! (Tori) Spelling. A witch casts her spell. Gospel. Which? A sandwitch on the subway? No eating allowed! Uh, loud. Eating, e-ching. Feng shui, fung shway. Norway, land's end. No way! Way! Wait a minute. Wam! Wham. Wham-o. Minute maid made it minute for Knute Rockne. Cannucks suck and fuck. San Francisco, St. Francis, talking to the birds. Bird is the word.

Guano is the shit. Edwin Meese made feces. Papal people poop. Padres pop. Eat 2 much, explode. Explosive diarrhea, can be omitted in the diary-uh. Oh, MIT. MTI for the dyslexic technorati. Finland, the land of shark fin soup, the end.

The Latest

Hi folks

I just finished sitting for Junie (dog) and Giffen (cat) for 4 nights (plus the two outdoor cats).   Junie, a bitch, is kind of psycho.   Jedi Junie, barks at people before they arrive!  She bit me, so we got that out of the way, and I'm one of the few people she likes.  I'm special, and she jumps around when I let myself in, to put on the step-in harness, and take her out to the pee mail, sights and smells.  I'm not sure, but it seems like she hates all other dogs, from my experience walking her.  I walk her twice a week, usually going north, for a half hour.  Giffen (only 3 legs) hangs out upstairs, and sleeps under the bed.  There was a black widow in the basement, but she's moved on.  I destroyed her web.  I was warned of a raccoon that came in the dog door, raiding the food stores.  But I luckily didn't have to deal with any of that.  But there were ants.  I killed many of them.  And pre-emptively stashed leftover dogfood in the fridge before they could get to it.  Giffen prefers salmon to chicken.  She didn't eat 2 or 3 meals...  If I leave the wet catfood on the floor, Junie will eat it.  Maybe that's why she's psycho.  She thinks she's a cat!  The house is pleasant, with wifi, a lush back yard with a picnic table, a radio, a television, and a cozy bed.  I enjoy it there.   It's a block up from where I live, so I pop in to my room for mail, and to take a shower (the water knob in their shower is a bit screwy, so I don't mess with it).   The residents (Teresa, Electra, and Johnny) left the house to ski in Tahoe and work in southern california, respectively.  I fill the water bowls, give all 4 animals meals and meds twice daily, walk Junie for a half hour every morning, and bring in the mail and water the plants.  There are dental chews for the cats, and 2 meds for Giffen (pronounced Jiff'n).  Doors to close and lock, the front door of course, and others (like the dog door) from threats like neighborhood kids, raccoons, fierce roaming neighborhood cat, and Junie bullying the cat and eating his food.  It's mellow, and I bring my phone, tablet, and computer.   I listened to kalx, watched youtube videos, checked blog traffic numbers, and read my book (self-defense).  I also watched standup comedy specials on my phone, with my amazon prime I got from aunt Vicki for Christmas.   Jim Gaffigan, Louis CK, Sarah Silverman, George Carlin (3 shows), Bob Saget, and Dana Carvey.   Sunday night I came home and listened to HOS (hearts of space) for 2 hours on my Echo with my roommate Michael (a weekly routine).  I'm listening to the Mother Hips now, with a pot of coffee, and a candy dish full of Riesens.  I'm going to SF on Thursday to return my library book (I finished Dostoevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov') and spend time with my nephew Ben and my folks.  I have tomorrow free.  I have a gym membership I'm not taking advantage of, enough.  Maybe I'll do a Wag! walk or two.  Or just relax and do nothing, sleep in, get a chocolate chip cookie from Starbucks, and/or a burrito from the taco truck on San Pablo (manantial), vegetarian if I'm feeling kindly (my fave veg meal is the Sometimes I'm A Vegetarian sandwich from Ike's love and sandwiches, downtown, yum).   I have a sty on my left eye, and my new shoes are wearing out really fast (especially for the amount of money I spent...)  I'm overweight, too, with a gut.  My shoulders are still sore from overexercising (arnold presses), so pushups and  pullups and chinups suck.  My sweet tooth needs to be reigned in.  An exercise regimen, for daily maintenance, and ideally gradual progress, using the gym, diet, dog walks, and self-discipline, is called for.  Berkeley has free food, free yoga, free dental, free library books, and my rent includes free wifi and utilities.  My meds are almost free.  And my clipper card is disability discounted.  My phone and the service plan it's on are a gift from my brother.  Amazon prime has lots of free video, like the library.  I got a haircut today.  $18.  I'm lookin' good!  I'm flying to Portland next month, staying there for 4 weeks, so I'm preparing for that.  That's my life, right now, in a nut shell!

drop some words

subliminally criminal
    (like bird turds)

I'm a fan of ferns, I like lichen, and rocks rock!
Trees please me, I rant about plants, I gush about bush, i need weeds.
the power of a flower to level the devil

i'm hatin Satan.  Stupid cupid!
vacuums suck, teeth bite, the wind blows,
your dad is a motherfucker,
the female dog is a bitch,
the cat is a pussy, richard is a dick
your anus is an a-hole
vaginas are cunts
faggots are cocksuckers
fecal matter is a piece of shit

there's a poof on the roof
a whore on the floor
america for erica
a planet for janet
it's a girl's world, Earl!

animals are animated
the queer deer
Gayle the quail
the faggot maggot

there's an otter in the water
a notion about ocean motion
do you pledge to water the hedge?

i love duv
i need weed
choose your news
orson is for abortion
but i say bring the worm to term

the sentry guarded the retarded
i drank punch with lunch
a day of tex mex and sex
dance with the ants

fruits and veggies suit me, said Reggie
i chew you, too (boo!)
i like ike, i hate kate
rate your mate

earth mirth, soil toil, dirt hurt
the hardener-gardener pounded the ground

If tribbles could talk

Tribble Babble, fuzzy logic

Imbibe with the tribe. Bible libel. Habit rabbit. Jump around! I am the U.   Paid by the word. A penny for your thoughts. Page wage. Pop the babble bubble. Artistic and literary merit of a page of shite. Pure shite. What is shite? It's what the Brits call shit. If you can spit it. The live tv program reacts to my thoughts. I am interacting with the people on tv, as if they were actually in the room with me. I am not a passive audience. They are speaking to me, specifically. They say code words like suggJESTion or inJEST or joking, aka in jest, to clue the audience to my presence. I am deeply insane. Everybody wants my opinion. I get phone calls from opinion serveys from Chicago. I am in Berkeley. Why are they calling me? Is it because I'm God? Ha.   I'm actually not God.  I'm better than God. I make myself laugh. That doesn't mean the devil, you idiot. It means I'm everybody, everywhere, always. The sinners, the saints, the whole ball of wax.  Not! I'm just my body.  Or...am I? The birds, the bees, the trees, the earth, I'm worth Trillions. My net worth is all the fish in the ocean. I'm nutty, like a macaroon. People eat me, with every meal. I'm all the food and drink. I'm water, I'm wine, I'm soda, I'm gatorade, I'm beer, I'm kombucha, I'm smoothies, I'm juice, I'm milk, I'm hot chocolate, I'm chocolate milk, I'm protein shakes.... I'm hamburgers, I'm pizza, I'm sandwiches, I'm burritos, I'm sushi, I'm bagels, I'm nachos... I'm every book: I'm wikipedia, I'm ….yes, anything. Google. Facebook. A grain of sand. A planet. A star. A black hole. The electromagnetic spectrum. Satan. An ant. Buddha. A zebra. The flying spaghetti monster. A pangolin. I have the sanity of a manatee. I have the thirst of the worst. I eat beets. I defeat meat. I am a wimpy chimp. I am a fat cat. A pet hog. A pollywog. I jog with the dog. I drink eggnog with the frog. I stare at the bear. I fear the leer. I walk the talk. I jump on her rump. I dance with fancy pants. I rant about cunt. I stunt with a runt. My heart is on Bart. I start with a fart. I spit on my shit, go sit on a pit. I hate being late. I'm great, you never have to wait. Rate your date. Rhyme time. Parsley with Elvis. Sage with Nicholas. Rosemary with Rosemarie. Thyme with criminals. Tired of being fired. Energized by synergy. Skunky punk. Hanky panky. Wicky whack. Whaddup dawg!? I'm chewy, said Chuy. I'm Jesus, said Jess. I'm artificially intelligent, said IsAI. I'm evil said the whale. I kill krill. Yum, said the muy hambre hombre. Eat my taco. The christian leader of his church ate a pastor taco. If you seso. Mm, brain, said the zombie. Zombies go to taquerias, it's true. I am me, and I am you. I am the walrus, kookookachoo. I am acid, I am meth, I am mushrooms, I am breath. I am filling the page with madness, I say. Mom and dadness. Meat and drinkness. MAD magazine-ness. Anger and hatred and rage and wrath and fury. Insane in the membrane. The psychiatrist said to his patient (dressed only in saran wrap), I can clearly see (your/you're) nuts! The blue diamond truckers really drive me nuts! MCI was a mad crazy insane telecommunications company. Trojan brand condoms is a cum-pany. Sex six times? Are you insane? Stuff socks in your sax! This shit sucks! Be quiet, choir! Thanks, Tom Hanks! Christ, Chris Tucker! Jeezus, Cletus. Room go boom. Bomb go Obama. Blast from the past. Trump up your rump. The will to kill. I've had my fill of chlorophyll. Plants dance. The car in Dakar. I hate Nate. I like Ike. I love Duv. I'm friends with Ben. Joy dish soap makes me bubbly. Effervescent mood, champagne -dude!! Jiggle it, just a little bit. Toilets should not be toil or toys or lit on fire or have oil in them! Toilets are full of shit! Your dad is a mother fucker. Vacuums suck! Your doctor is a master of disaster. Corpses are rotten. The SAT is sick and twisted. Evil is vile. Elvis lives. Death is hated. Earth is filled with haters. Dum as mud. Dead as a door nail. You heart art, eh? D'bum is dumb. The little drummer boy goes ba-rump-a-bum-bum. He gets his ass beat, to the rhythm. I am Stu. Last name Pid. I am Idi. Idi Amin. You thought I would say Ot. Dumb-ass. Neurons in my ass. Spank the bank, it stole your money. Funny money. The monkey has the monk's key. How is the monk supposed to get in? With money? Take the k out of the trunk. Ketamine. Special K cereal. A serial killer on K. I go on and on. Goons and moons on the Dune of Arakis. Dune k, do neck. Stupid poop. Dumbshit. Foolish ghoulish. Evil knievel. Wicked picket. Sticky wicket. Retarded lard ass. A new jew. An old hold on a nook book. Study with studs. Learn with Patrick O' Hearn. Remember the campfire embers. Burn your fern. Filthy lucre for some eucharist. Church merch. You can't spell forgiveness without an orgy. Funeral fun. Death heat'd. Word ward. Cram into sacramento. Bye.

Devirtues and Devices

Devices

I have 3 Apple devices: an old MacBook, a new cellphone (XR), and an iPad tablet.  I'm planning on getting a new laptop, just because. Maybe I'll wait. I like mine, now, honestly.  Even if it IS slow, and doesn't have the newest bells and whistles.  But Oregon doesn't have sales tax. I'm going to Portland next month, to house/dog-sit.  I also have beat (apple) wireless headphones, which I love, but usually only use at the gym.  I have a tv and dvd player, (both of) which I rarely use. Like my blender.  I have an Amazon Echo (Alexa), which I use all the time.  I have two iTunes gift cards, I haven't used yet, i've had for years (!).  I have an Amazon Prime membership.  And an Amazon music subscription ($3.99/mo), which is also fun.  I have a portable am/fm radio, with presets (oldschool, right?), that I listen to when I'm on my bike or walking. Kalx, etc.  I have an alarm clock, a kitchen timer, another set of wireless headphones for the computer (the computer's speaker(s) doesn't work), 2 bikelights (the front one is rechargeable!), a (used) printer, and some battery-powered lamps, in case of blackout (I also have candles).  My phone has a flashlight (and compass, etc.)  I have 2 watches, and a radio (the cd player doesn't work), and a fan, and a heater, and a scale.  I have a kindle, as well as many other portable reading devices (aka books, lol).  I still haven't used the kindle yet, but I've had it awhile.  I have reading glasses, and normal glasses. I have a nice metal (zebra) pen, I like.  I have a hunting knife. I have a can opener, scissors, scotch tape, duct tape, a giant water container, a water bottle, an impressive basket from Belize, a terra-cotter warrior figure (archer) from Xian, China, and another, smaller, figurine, of a priest, from Oaxaca Mexico.  I've moved from devices to property, in general, which was not my intent. I'll stop here.

How have all these toys affected me and my life? For the better or worse?  I'd be happy just with library books for stimulus, without all these things!  I used to watch lots of tv, now almost none. My to do list has better things, in my opinion.  Does that make me a snob? Hope not. I like standup comedy, ridiculousness, shorts, animation, nature, documentaries, and some basketball.

I have lots of old clothes, shoes, cd's, and even notebooks, going back to the '90's.  Too much, really.  I like my blog. I can offload, share with the public, and be better understood.  I can organize my thoughts, create a system, a philosophy, an identity.  Happy Valentines Day! Happy vd, lol.  Saint Valentine was sainted. Sainted could be abbreviated std, lol.

ANYway,

my books are mostly History, Religion, Psychology, Spanish, Trivia, and Jokes.  I have 3 books that are lists of OTHER books.

Devirtues?  off the top of my head-
Contentment, equanimity, it's all good, friendship, peace, prosperity, health, vegetarian diet, safety, preparedness, honor, love, wisdom, purpose, a mission even, discipline, achievement, integrity, bliss, pleasure, community, travel, relaxation, fun, excitement (white water rafting, skydiving, waterskiing, even trying a segway)...  Freedom to do whatever the fuck you want!  Beauty, fitness, strength, sex.  Meditation, stillness, calm, tranquil, placid.  Humor, laughter, joy!

blather, patter

and so on, and so forth.

Hello, people. Actually, I imagine computers read now, too, so a shout out to all you AI's out there! I actually think computer intelligence is anything but “artificial,” and groks/comprehends maybe better than us humans, with our grey matter (brains), which is just another type of computational “wet-ware.” My name, Jesse, is Isai (eesah-e), in spanish. Like me, the boundary between computers and organisms is blurry: humans make and program computers, and computers do everything from spell-check to invade our dreams, on the “same wavelength”. You feel me, dawg? I'm a dogwalker with the help of my cellphone (i'm a wagwalker, with Wag!, the “uber of dog walking”). And computers drive matrices and vibes. They'll do most, if not all, driving, in the not too far off future, I imagine, actually. The internet of things, the next step from object-oriented programming language. Incidentally, I don't believe in souls. People are just things, too. My name refers to my body. Everything, basically, is logistics. We move things. Words, ideas, money, dogs, products, food, shit... And people don't need all that much: food, water, shelter, clothes, sanitation, healthcare, things to do, community. I like that the future might offer all books to all people, the virtual library of congress, possibly with translation into all languages! Through our devices. I don't mind making machines smarter than us. We incorporate the machines. Literally, our google glass isn't even the most initmate of devices to penetrate our consciousness and lives. You see, I'm crazy. And that means I have crazy wisdom. I know how the world REALLY works. Telepathy is real. Machines help people, crazy people who both help and hinder other people. Democracy now has wikipedia. So we can do our research easily and quickly. And communicate our ideas instantly, efficiently. Where's the vice in the device? Alexa can listen to our conversations, of course, but I don't really care. What harm is there in that? The real question is where's the help, in that? If it's completely neutral, then it doesn't matter, as I see it. It's like taking a shit: you'd rather have privacy, but you'd still do it if the toilet was in the middle of a football stadium. Privacy only matters if you have something to hide, and nobody has anything to be ashamed of! There's nothing new under the sun. All in all is all we are. We're already intimate with both the angels and the demons. Anybody can be anything. Fuck jails, prisons, incarceration, laws, police, rules, order, psychiatric labels, mental health professionals, borders, religious exclusion. I believe in everything. We're all gonna die, someday. Everything is permitted. Nothing matters. You make your own meaning. You can submit to authorities, like parents or teachers or doctors or priests or soldiers or keepers of the peace, law and order. You can be your own President, commander-in-chief, and command your own army. It's all good. Whatever you think is bad, well you don't have to do it, you can persuade/dissuade people from it, and as you can understand from my outlook, you can take action against it. If everybody had a gun, respect would be universal. If martial arts were a part of everyone's upbringing, people would be far more empowered, if not healthy. Everyone should do what the fuck they want. Your liberty to swing your fist ends at the tip of my nose? Fuck that. My cult can beat up your cult. If humanity lost a few billion souls, would it even matter? We're all dead, anyway. The sun is impermanent. Diamonds are impermanent. Space is forbidding, and too vast for colonization (right?). Don't worry, be happy. Party on, Wayne. Listen to music, watch tv, go to a movie, read a book. Or go do a thrill killing. Maybe kill some other thrill killer. That's just how it goes. It's a dangerous world, and nobody gets out of life alive. Maybe the current arrangement is the safest, at least here in the good ol' US of A. If cameras are everywhere, and privacy is gone, then people won't jeopardize themselves or each other, in what is honestly a meaningless world and life. Life and love can be fun, even if it has no meaning, purpose, or inherent value. You do your thing. Lie to everyone about everything, always. Get away with anything you can. You don't even need a motive. Just opportunity. So that's why tech has a kind of value, as I see it. You can't legislate against a whale eating trillions of krill. That's just nature. Life is delicious. Eat it up. Live until you die, is the only way to stay sane. Danger makes people crazy. Or are soldiers more alive than us, happier, and even more rational? I'd rather just read the library. But I know the lunatic fringe is out there. Fuck them.

Sex. Penetrate, pump, spurt. Pleasure. Baby? Pain. Touch, intimacy, massage.

Love? Well, I love myself. My body, that is. I take care of it. Hope to live long.

Friendship is enough. Family is hell, annoying, craziness, and attachment-suffering. Fuck that, too.

I have a sweet tooth. The “happy buddha” is fat. Unhappy wheezing idiot, on the other hand.

Well, life is about balance. Some ice cream, some exercise. Some virtue, some vice. I mean, if it's all good. What a mess. Some people's good is another's evil. Maybe it's all good. I mean, that's a better outlook than it's all bad. That means suicide. It's entirely subjective. But we create realities, our own and others. If the other makes your life hell, fuck them. Associate with your angels. Then you live in heaven. Eat and shit out your enemies. Right? Better yet, get enlightened and have compassion for all living things, and gain empathy for all situations. It's all you. You know it. You've been there. They've been you. It's a big ball of collective un/consciousness. The dead milkmen called it Soul Rotation. All in all is all we are. We're all on a train, bound for death. That's the universal destination. Nobody lives forever. So have fun. Or be miserable. That can be fun, too. Better than hell, anyway. Anything that's not hell is heaven. You don't have to have billions of dollars. Yacht? Whatever. Maybe I'll have one, one day. I mean, maybe I'll be on one, anyway. I”m all for a sharing economy. My name is Teshara. To share uh. To share Ra. Share some whatever in the sunshine. Have fun in the sun. Be sane in the rain. Have a place to go in the snow. You could meet your end in the wind. Doesn't rhyme with mind. Whatever, nevermind. Your words are as good as mind. A picture tells a thousand words. Put your tv on mute. Smile at someone. Make someone smile.

Feeling rotten

Maybe I should know the law before I diss it. I imagine it's as sensible as can be expected. Well, other countries might be worse, better, I have no idea. I could write my own law. I kind of already did, didn't I? For a self-proclaimed God, I might be a mite irresponsible. Absolute freedom, the wild west, what a mess. I like my life now, in a world with police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances racing past, with lights and sirens, out front of my window. They're good news, like rolling gospel. But I believe my own babble, even if I'm love-deprived, and loving myself just doesn't cut it? I guess I'll drink a beer, and babyl on, in another hour, after a reading/exercise break. I don't want my cult to end in a mass suicide, like People's Temple or whatever. I'm life-affirming, even though life is shit, meaningless, and endlessly irritating, for some, or at least sometimes. Beer is proof God loves us, they say. I'm a rebel just for kicks, now. I'm a plagiarist from my radio. I'm too old for this shit. I should be happy. I'll add reading the legal code and adding my own commentary to my ever-expanding to-do list. Just another book to read, before writing my own, which will be my baby, since I'm not dating or fucking, right? Gr. Argh. H gr A! I'd rather kill than be killed. Gr vs rg, see? Another week, another pair of pastor tacos. Sorry, piggies. Nothing personal. You just taste good. Maybe a hardcore vegetarian will eat me. Justice? Put it on ice. Like the champagne. Champ pain. Coke heroin acid meth pot. The extremes of pleasure and pain. Maybe better to remain even-keel, simple, just keep writing. Lynyrd Skynyrd, simple man. Less complexifiers! God should not be on heroin. God should not be telling people what to do! Reality is all the god there ever is. And I'm only a part of God, even for me! Medicate or the medic Kate?!! ha.

journal entry

Feodor, the odor of faith, the door of faith, ugly door

Dostoevsky, two to electric vehicle sky

FD (flunking grades)

TBK (torture bind kill) (the brothers karamazov)

kill a ram: a to z of vampire

anyway, today I woke at 5a, read my 5 history of the day sources, texted Sara a happy birthday, went to the gym where a retard vomited on one of the stationary bikes in front of me, so I left before 500 calories. That was unfortunate, because Ridiculousness was on the mtv at the time, and that show always makes me laugh. It was Really Cold this morning. I went to the food pantry at 2p, and ate an avocado, a can of cheese ravioli, and 4 scones before going to bed. It looked like the scones might have been moldy, but it was just coloration from the blueberries inside (I hope!). I also listened to alexa, the song of the day, espresso, the daily show, and flash briefing (which includes the tonight show monologue). I read a bunch of The Brothers K, and passed the third mark (777 pages, total). I think I just might finish it, in time. No dog walks today. I have Junie, tomorrow, again. I'm going to bed at 8:30, so I can sleep 8 hours, for my alarm at 4:30a. I used to stay up all night, once upon a time. Now I take my meds at night, and go to bed early, so I can be healthy, wealthy, and wise. Victor served me breakfast, this morning, which was nice. I said 'gracias'! It was good, too (chicken and rice, in sauce).  Edgar, I noticed, ordered a Papa John's pizza, for lunch. I wonder what toppings he got. Well, good nite. No “salon” today (Michael visiting in my room, usually interacting with Alexa). I call it Jesse's phrontistery and salon, texting him (on my new phone) when it is available. I wore my new shoes today, and went to the Goodwill after the gym, to donate 2 pair of my old, worn shoes for recycling. I imagine they will go to the Third World somewhere. Maybe next time I can find a place to refurbish my worn shoes before I have to plunk down another $136 for the next pair. The salesperson at REI said all shoes have a 500 mile lifespan, no matter the brand, which I thought was interesting. Michael thought my returns “still have life in them.” You could put shoe inserts in, and cut up tires for the external sole, for example, to keep them ticking. Anyway, i'm looking forward to the return of rain. And finishing Dostoevsky. And, of course- when I'm old (I imagine), actually finishing the thousands of books on my reading list (!!) I miss my Economist subscription, a little. My hair, after I showered yesterday, is parted on my left side now, which is different than what it has been my entire life. I like it, though. My “look” is evolving. It's almost 8:30p, good night!

cannabis

a riff on spliff
my roommate's request

I let mike smoke in my room, but the landlord just put the kibosh on that!  anyway, he asked i do a "riff", in that way with words he associates with me/my blog

add an L:
cannabliss
cannibal-is
klan-abyss

there are thousands of slang terms for marijuana, for all of us to play with!
wikipedia has an exhaustive, alphabetized list.

a few:
AK47, Barney, Bishop, Bongo, brown buddha, bread, broccoli, cabbage, chess, cheeba, chicken, chocolate, crunch, devil's lettuce, dank, dave, dumm, fire, funky falafel, ganja, goo, grass, green, grefa, haskell, hemp, herb, holden, hungarian hummus, hydro, ice cream, jimmy, kush, loud, lowes, magic, mary jane, moss, muggles, old toby, poop, portuguese plant, reefer, rodeo, shwag, shakira, silly spinach, sinsemilla, skunk, spank, stank, tacos, tea, trees, tweed, wheat, wizard, xbox.

well, whatever.
i don't do the stuff (i have, a few times, starting at scout camp)
more recently, i ate part of a cookie, and had a gummy (edibles).
i've read that cbd (cannabidiol, without the thc) could help with psychosis/schizophrenia.
also, indica vs. sativa (one is more mellow?)

a read a book about the history of the kalashnikov.
barney was in silence of the lambs.
   bishop, chess, dvd, dave, buddha...
(past madness)
bongo burger (bangin on the bongos like a chimpanzee!)
old toby (i used to know a tobitha miller! in sacramento),
i used to live on haskell..  (i'd ride from haskell to acton to russell to milvia) to get to the main library (no harm done)
funky falafel, hungarian hummus, portuguese plant, silly spinach- i just like the alliteration
reefer has nothing to do with ocean reefs...
wizard and muggles, lol
skunk, spank, stank should always be used together!

boring game

i didn't watch any of it

but I did watch the beginning of
an episode of Generation Wealth,
with my amazon prime.  I put the app on my phone.
i never watch tv, so this was something new for me.
still, i didn't even finish watching it!
(kind of an anti-L.A. perspective)

I walked Zephyr, a cocker spaniel, for a half hour, at 4p.
(Wag! walk, i earned $16)

And I had a bowl of (generic) cheerios, with almond milk.
not milk, actually.  trader joe's Almond Beverage, Original
ABO, like the blood! TJ, like my initials.

In hindsight, i was
a. anti-LA,
b. set a slow pace (walking), and
c. ate O's:
(was that why the Offense was the lowest in superbowl history?!)

it would be kind of funny if I have that kind of power! (unintentionally).

Is it "all my fault"?
Neo, beginning to believe, lol.
Unique, like everybody else.  All in all is all we are. 
(New England?  America?  All of humanity?  The Universe!?)

My Sunday will wrap up with a 2 hour session of HOS
(hearts of space, radio.  on kalw, on Alexa)

Letter B

speaking words of wisdom
wow

so, the presidential race is starting up.

Bernie, Beto, Biden, Buttigieg, Booker (!!)
Gabbard and Gillibrand
J Castro, and J Delaney
HW, do your homework!, Harris and Warren
RC (report card): bbbbbcd (and 2 beyond F, lol)

the branch library near me is called the Tarea Hall Pittman branch
tarea is homework in spanish

dear god, anyone but Trump, please.

although maybe he's so bad, it's good, by way of contrast
such as Hitler or Stalin (never again)
in the same way that the devil gives us something to strive against...
i don't think he's evil so much as an idiot, who doesn't read, compulsively lies,  believes his own bullshit, is racist, hates mexicans, conceives of his presidential authority as a type of mob boss, is in fact a criminal, and probably ran for president unseriously, for kicks, who didn't expect to win, got lucky, and doesn't know how to govern, as the head of a chaotic and dangerous administration, that threatens the environment, the world economy, and peace.  Basically, I think of him as an old, fat, blowhard.   Unhealthy, filled with spite, and not to be taken seriously, although he is, unfortunately, the commander in chief, lacking the ethics, in my view, to deserve that aspect of the office.

quote:
"who are you, then?
I am part of that power which eternally wills evil, and eternally works good."
    -Goethe (Faust)
(that's the only silver lining I can see to his having been elected)
it might be what I am, too.
I hope I don't will good, and work evil (!!)

Even Mitt or Bloomberg..

whoever is the president, you don't need to submit to his (or her!) authority, imo
don't agonize, organize!
it's a free country, with a marketplace of ideas, and all ideas are permitted, even welcome!

I'll vote for anyone (other than Trump) who believes in universal healthcare, free education, free trade, has a "life ethic" (no capital punishment, war, less or no meat, no abortion), isn't a nationalist but rather an idealist who fights poverty everywhere, and makes a good faith effort to ensure met basic need for all humanity (clean water, sanitation, libraries, food, shelter, peace), and -finally- who has an open mind toward all belief systems, political or religious, (someone who is curious, reads, and understands and can argue all points of view, before making reasoned decisions- not making imperious, random, disordered policies and decisions, based on gut feelings!!) .  Okay, I'll shut up, now.  

Go, B!
 (hey, that's a desert!)