Happy Halloween!

Hell of mean

A spooky, scary night, full of ghosts and goblins, sugar and screams, death and the devil!  The evil one walks among us!  Monsters and demons and criminals and sinners and the depraved, wicked, cruel, and sadistic revel in the darkness and horror.  Vicious beasts prowl about, stalking, hunting, killing, devouring.  The innocent timidly venture onto the doorsteps of the unknown, with the cute and childlike plea for candy, to be distributed with goodwill, and occasionally even with malice.  Who dares disturb the slumber of dreadful dreams, to awaken the villainous ghosts and zombies that inhabit this house of horrors?  Hellions screams are ignored, and the diabolical deeds of death, decay, disease, destruction, despair, disaster, and doom go unforgiven, twisting the souls of the damned.  Satan, laughing, delights in the festivities, the parade of masks, and the fate of fools, his method of madness and malice.   The burning of flesh, the torments of his captives, the satisfying fullness of a fresh meal of warm blood, the unheeded cries for help.  The brutality of his coven, the savagery of his profoundly sick underlings.   Yes, this night of all nights, he is alive.  ALIVE!!

Sleepy Babbling

journalling and current status-

Not the comfy chair!   Trivial pursuit, Terry pratchett, Thomas Pynchon.   Aguaturbia, not trivia (stupid Alexa).   The indian drowned in his tea pee (ha).  Scientology has suppressive persons, I guess I am one (and to Islam, too).   Not good to make so many enemies.  Does my blog make me “open source”?.   I love Arabic calligraphy and the Taj Mahal and listening to Quran recitation.   Christian Science and Scientology and the scientific method.  Is Karen still suicidal?   Addressing prayer to “to whom it may concern”, lol.  Kate is dystopian and revolutionary.  I have apples, oranges, bananas, sunflower seeds, pistachios, cashews, rice, beans, soup.   I have my meds and 3 tubes of toothpaste and 4 bottles of mouthwash and plenty of flossers.   I have my fish oil, multivitamin, and astragalus capsules.  Good stuff.  I’ve reduced sugar intake.   I hope I’m not still prediabetic.  And maybe I’ll escape mental illness.  There’s hope.   I have a large bag of oatmeal, my monthly supply of mushroom coffee.  I bought a new type of GNC protein powder, on the sales guy’s recommendation.  I love chili relleno burritos, pastor tacos, sushi and seaweed salads, and an occasional chipotle burrito, nation’s burger, pizza. I DON’T have any halloween candy this year (actually, I have one See’s sucker).  I didn’t even bother with the Nextdoor Treat Map this year, because NOT ONE person came to my door, last year..   I sat outside for hours, with my almond kisses.  Lesson learned, I guess.  I have 8 books on dogs; I have like a dozen masd books; I have an awesome dictionary and atlas; I have a ton of spanish materials; I have joke books, and Hiaason novels, onion compendiums; I have all the Pynchon, and almost all the DFW.  I have academic, reference books, in psychology, philosophy, general knowledge, and ecology.  I have fun books by Gaiman, Rushdie, Coetzee, Boyle, Foer, Achebe, Oates, Zadie Smith, Tan.  best short stories, big book ofs (graphic novels?), 6 or 7 cookbooks.  I’m rooting for Ukraine and the women of Iran and the Uyghurs and Tibetans and Democrats.  I have The Buddhist Path to Simplicity, A General Theory of Love, Find the Good,  The Happiness Hypothesis, Authentic Happiness, The Happiness Project.  I have 3 copies of the 10,001 songs list (from the 1001 book “you must hear”).  I’m collecting gifts for everybody, come Christmas in 2 months.  I’ll be sitting for Thanksgiving and Christmas, in Benicia maybe.  I don’t have my Kaleb dates for November yet.  I might be walking Snoopy and Shelby on weekends too, if Mimi gives them to me.  My nephews and my brother and his wife are all dressing up Star Wars.  I’m looking forward to seeing their costumes (and my cousin and her husband and 2 daughters, don’t know the theme).  I plan on going to Sausalito next month for Patrick’s ashes going in the bay/cove.  I’m enjoying my new socks and underwear.  I’m listening to psychedelia, from the wikipedia list, in my bookmarks.  I gave a ton of change to the corner store.   You’d think they’d offer me something.  Nope.  I should boycott them.  It’s mostly a liquor store, and almost everything is junk.   The people there can be sketchy, too.  And you always have to ask for a receipt.  I wonder when or if Sara Pierre Augie and Hugo are going to Mexico, again.  I’m playing Andromeda (good fit), I’m beat from shoveling and spreading wood chips all morning.  BART took awhile.  I got off at Fremont, and boarded at South Fremont/Warm Springs.  I left while it was still dark.  I got $30 as reward for volunteering (plus lunch).  Sara doesn’t like me, I think.   She can’t be bothered to text back.  And If I’m not a friend, then why would I consider moving to Portland?  I really hope the Dems retain control of the house and senate.  Really, really, really.   I have a ton of trivia cards to fill the time.  I have several boxes of stuff I’ve written that I should review, incorporate into blog.  I want to publish, too.  Maybe I should be active on twitter.  And write in sentences, not lines.   I have a bunch of bathroom readers.   Not sure if that’s better, worse, or the same as TP!   I’m expecting a trivial pursuit set next month.  One of the last remaining sets for my collection.  I should probably take a shower after all that dirty work at MSJ today.  I like my new JBL speaker.   I like my kalx pocket fm radio (old school).  I wish my phone could stream music away from the house wifi, without eating up roaming or whatever.  I have a ton of email and news I haven’t read.  And a stack of books in my room.  My room is full.   Time to get rid of cassettes, I think, lol.  CD’s too.   Lionel Messi and the messiah and the world to come, and messy cum (anne and  nick?).  The medium is the message, a messy sage, a small medium at large.  Bliss in the abyss.  Colony collapse disorder is not a blessing, although it is less bees.  Abyssinian bliss.  Todd the modern God.   (odd body cod Fahd gaudy lawed Maud nod pod quad rod sod wad, general zod).   yod hey vod hey.  vod, vav, waw.   I dunno.  organismic orgasm spasm.  dreaming about dreams.  everybody thrives, not just survives.  a utopia trope.

Umbrella Tent

What is this?

It’s not Christian.   I don’t believe in heaven.  Jesus is dead.   Souls don’t exist.  He’s not coming back.  And angels don’t exist, either.  Heaven and hell are love-bliss and torture, respectively, both on earth, while alive.  I mean, maybe it’s christian if the Pope agrees with me, or something.  I don’t imagine he does (or would say so, if he did)

It’s not Buddhist.  Buddhists believe in both impermanence and rebirths.  I think they’re confused.  Rebirth, or “born-again” is only when we wake up to a new day, for example, or start a new chapter in our lives, like becoming a parent, getting married, or whatnot  After you die, you’re dead, no hungry ghosts or whatever, okay?  Plus, Buddhist bliss, nirvana, seems to be wrapped up in silence, meditation, and deep realization, which to me stands in opposition to the enlightenment of every day life, going about your business in a messy, loud, surface-level world.   A world that reminds me of pinball, being bounced around from person, activity, thoughts, and ideas as things pop up.  I like both modes, and life is messy, so it’s good to do mind-maintenance by meditating, writing, and reading or listening to scripture.   As well as plunging into the madness of life.  Kind of a yin and yang, I guess.   Monkey mind and tranquility.   Life has its storms and its stillness, both.

    Well, maybe it is Buddhist.   Buddhism is a pretty wide umbrella, big tent.  But maybe I’m creating my own religion, with only one member, me.  That idea makes me happy.  Maybe I’ll find a wife who subscribes to the same tenets.   Not that I’d only marry one who did.   But that would be fun, I think.   I don't believe in karma, either.  There's a lot of undeserved, pointless suffering.

 

It’s not Muslim.   I’m not claiming to be Allah.  I read the Quran, and wasn’t impressed.  Islam is lame.  A little mosque is a mosquito, eh?  I don’t even remember what specifically I disagree with, because it was pretty much everything.  My voice (an attorney) says I’m law.   So maybe I AM ALL LAW.   Ha.  Teshara is close to Sharia.  So there.

It’s definitely not Jewish.  Like I’m a member of God’s chosen people.  With all those silly rules.  As if God would ever separate himself from all but 0.21% of humanity.   Less than 1 percent. And be so god-damn fucking absurd.  Jews think the (real) Messiah will eliminate all disease.   As if that’s even possible.

Am I atheist?  Depends which God I’m supposed to not believe in.  I believe in myself.  Maybe you think that makes me the devil.   Well, I think that makes me God.  And you can do the same thing.  Why would you submit to a ghost?  Or a priest?  Or anyone?  Be good, by your own lights.  Right?  

     I exercise godly degree of self-control in not killing every effing bastard I meet, basically everybody.   So I deserve to be worshipped for grace and mercy, from anyone I have the power to wipe off this god-forsaken planet, which is everyone (speaking for God?).  Okay?  God is the darkest of all.  Why would christians implore god to have mercy, if He wasn’t disgusted by them, didn’t want to kill ‘em all, right?  God is virtuous simply by doing nothing.  I get it.   

A puppet in the pulpit.  Salvation from salivation.  The messiah makes a mess.  The deity is die TY.   Y is christ on the cross (T).  Jesus in spanish is Hey Zeus.  Jess, U.   Jesse in spansh is also Isai.   Isa is Jesus in arabic.   I’m not quite speaking in tongues, but I’m getting there.  I’ve eaten a lengua (tongue) burrito.  And seso (brain).  And a scorpion, in China.  Salty and crispy. And an ant.  It was bitter, gross.  And a bite of a snake (chewy, like clam).  Anyway, have I said everything?  Ha.   I’ll read The Aletheon, by Adi Da, which purports to do just that.  Then I’ll write my bit, and maybe then, I can claim the same.   We’ll see.  (They say he died on the last day of writing it).  Maybe I'm a part of Adidam.

I want to live a thousand years.  Maybe forever (or maybe not, lol).  But 100 is just too few.  Aging sucks.  I want to stop aging.  I’m already losing vision.  Life is fun.  There’s a zillion things I want to do.  I could do the first zillion in my room.  Everyone dies.   Sigh.  Oh well.   

Maybe You Are

 Deejay injects some life into radio (sounds druggy, or vampiric)

Overwhelmed undergrads and underwhelmed overgrads

Stinky fucker, smelly feet / flatulence, Godor lol (p.u., peace, unity)

God is a man of war, came to bring division (not peace)

  Lord as love or devil, life or death

  God’s assassin (lyre and 10 string harp?)

     Santa Claus, Saint Nick, satanic

     "my suffering is your glory" (tortured enemy)

     "whose only love was the cross" (guilt)

        (crossing over, like river Styx)

  Schizo listening to the voice of God

The earth is full, pouring in the poor

Sacred heart of Jesus, sh

   earth, heart, hater

Justice and righteousness, a time to kill

God’s unconditional love, and world peace

Peace starts in self, home, family, community

Rooted and grounded in the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge

corporate, corpse it;   dignity, diggin' it

V

The world is shit, Jesse 

My whole life I’ve been in dialogue

I’m the pit and pendulum; we’ll see

We’ll see if you can handle life to you

Right.  They want you to feel angry

They know you dam-pire

I don’t wanna be anything

It’s intense, and structured, and a bit demanding -

    Is why people think maybe you are

USA, you say?

Berkeley on Mercury, penis on Venus, anus on Uranus (and klingons!), birth on earth (and mirth!), cars on Mars?, jews on Jupiter, patterns on Saturn, leptons on Neptune (and toons, too), prosciutto on Pluto

Virgo virago

Michelin in Michigan

the urf is Smurf turf

whorehouse in a warehouse

Messiah mess, fair Pharisees, sad Sadducees, gentle gentiles

Misc., (Elon) Musk, mask, mescaline, mosque

Rich Richard, rich in riches, poor in spirit

Pun-ish ment

asking for an ass-kicking

black eye and black iris (doesn't technically exist as an eye color, but dark brown does)

servant, serve aunt;  pastor tacos: pain agony suffering torment oppression repression; chewing on spiritual virtue; sow, savior of the world, sins of the world; Or and ore: riches;  Pork, lord, fork, force;  fuck or kill; let us prey; the meat team.  Grace, gr ace, gr eat.

Salvation, saved from ___ (sin, crime, hell, suffering, unpleasantness, oblivion (fill in the blank), salivation lol (from cruel drool)

Embrace our own cross (T) with courage (heart rage?)

God cat (created all things)

Draw water from the springs of salvation (sos)

Boundless riches of (Bro)

“most grievous fault in what I have done, failed to do” (argh!)

“life doesn’t have to mean nuthin’ at all”

Man alive!  Demanded.

Down to earth, lowered into plot

Hierarchy, high-powered perception, higher powers, 

    hired, we lift up our hearts to the lord, ascent, rise up!

keep us safe for eternal life (delusional hope, all is impermanent)

karma, ma in car;  dad, doubt and despair, downfall and decline

mad, memories and dreams

ST, saint, suffering tragedy (disease, injury, death)

    encyclical, N-cyclical, sick lick (en-sick-lical)

    soul consoled

SM, S and M, sins and misdeeds, sacred mysteries

    king dom (P, G, according to "measure of christ's gift")

FIG, faith in god (figment?)

BB, body-building (church as body of christ)

     figs and pastor tacos, lol (and lamb)

     sheeple are REAL (ram, ewe, and lamb); ram you!

     lucifer, antichrist, mephistopheles, beelzebub

blessed is he who comes in (the name of the lord)

      Jesus Christ, 2 and 5, (like 7 -up), or 'my cock')

      fount of holiness

blog, behold the lamb of god

repent, re-penthouse, re-pent up desire..

unity of faith, communion, hi fat, father, fat her (belly bump?)

the way, Yahweh, take away sins of world, the means

truth in love

heedful of hateful

3 wishes to a genie:

  1. make me happy

  2. make everybody happy

  3. make yourself happy

spectrum, continuum, diapason

of contentment to happiness to joy to bliss to euphoria

may you be happy and well

may you be in love

revolution as violence, bloodshed, death, pain, and suffering

evolution as incremental change, drip drip drip

Evelyn and her evil revelers, like Sibyl, in trouble

Ava is an available avatar

deadly assassin in the d.a.'s office

SP, political science, speed and position, superior power

   standard and pores, Payne and succotash, smashing pumpkins

fm, force majeure, eff 'em (apathy, hostility)

mindful, calm, focused, strong

A and F, ace and flunk, Abercrombie and Fitch,

     acceleration and force, amplitude and frequency

     fighter aircraft, always and forever, faith in allah

     focused and alert, friendly and affable

be good to your (unknowable) future self

we become completely different people, over time

  (physically, too) (commitment to strangers)

but we can consciously create who we want to be 

I may end up disagreeing with all of this, lol

be kind to your mind

respected and protected

changes and challenges

sad, stress, alcohol, depression

psychologists, psychiatrists, wellness coach

concerns and conditions

'you're hard tick'  (play on hard tack, heretic, and tickling!)

     rigor mortis vs. getting hard (erection) vs. hard nut to crack

     anne rice and her old ones (blood-sucker b.s.)

"put it in words, write it down, that is walking on hallowed ground"

censored and censured, a sensible scent

sensationalized sensei (sensing superior, equal, inferior)

Mr. Magoo, mm achieve goals, overcome obstacles

opportunity for community

mischief and misadventure

profuse confusion about Confucius 

possessed for progress?  profoundly confounded

Spiders:

if I can love a spider, I can love anyone

John Donne, and "spider-love"

spider sushi burrito (yum!)

Spider Eaters, book by Rae Yang

Matrix machines, Arachnophobia, Spiderman

yellow spider, YouTube song/video

internet, and inter net, inter web 

   (who's the spider on the World Wide Web?)

Annette Webb, (Stephanie Riddle)

spys, spycraft, espionage

animation/toys

trap-door spider, happy-face spider

iktomi, Native American trickster

dream-catcher, dream weaver

tarantula and Quentin Tarantino 

Boris the Spider -The Who, Horace the spider (video game)

are spiders a thing, like cookies? no

  but there was the SS-23 "spider", a ballistic missile

Boris, Horace, and Morris, singing a chorus in a Taurus

   Chuck Norris goes to the florist

happy halloween

heavenly happiness

heather helen

harry houdini

happy hall, high hat

heroin high

his hers holiness highness

(get off your) high horse

hug your honey

33

smashing pumpkins song

Jesus' age at death (and Patrick's)

Los 33, all 33 trapped miners in Chile were rescued (2010)

international calling code for France

2 triangles (Star of David)

cc...

meat is murder

stress, anxiety, worry (and SAW)

Religion is something people made up to keep us in line

Obey the Father?  God is Jesus’ dad?  Why not MY dad?

Or the catholic priests (”fathers”).  Or maybe God is different for everybody: your Creator (mom and dad).   Adopted children have 4 deities to choose from! Our father, who art in heaven (evolutionary beginnings in deep past!).   Art!  We can make up in our imaginations who we think our common ancestor was, what (he and she) were like!  We can be creative.

obedience, humility, and servitude

Meditation and prayer

miserable, down, glum, gloomy, hopeless, despairing

Submission and dominance

sad and depressed

sons and daughters, share and discover, song and dance, 

sick and diseased, suffering and death, schizo-affective disorder

stupid and dumb, social anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder

Satan and devil, schizo-anxious-depressed, sin and depravity

Thoughts, words, and action

   Behavior, action, deeds

Fear, pain, torture, violence

   physical and psychological

Ignorance and intelligence

   you can be smart but ignorant, or well-educated but dumb

   ideal marriage between hard work and talent

Healing and wholeness

Problems and challenges

news, knowledge, and entertainment

consciousness, conscience

   convicts, conservatives, and consilience

tools and techniques

   climate, health, animal welfare (and feeling good)

good energy, vibrant, (karma?)

(spiri-chew-ality, vir-chew, and me, Chuy) all aboard the crazy train, choo choo!!  chewing on chihuahuas, chicharron, chiabata, chorizo, chipotle, churros, y chicle.

vice and sin (delicious evil):

los pericos super pastor tacos, bamboo mongolian beef, papa john's combination pizza, jack in the box sourdough jack, king kebab's lamb/beef shawarma salad, chipotle steak burrito, simply greek greek burger, sushi secret's spider burrito, el manantial chorizo burrito/ carne asada nachos, sinaloa carnitas burrito/ camaron, bongo burger mushroom burger, nation's bacon cheeseburger... (I'm a meat and sugar addict) 

vs.

1.    nationearth.com

and

2.    thesavemovement.org

and

3.    mercyforanimals.org

XXX

Sexy 

Beyond words.   Beyond porn, pictures (say, Penthouse/Oui).  Love, lust, passion, ardor, attraction, pheromones.   French kissing, foreplay, uninhibited, hot and heavy, petting.   Art of making love, experience, drugs, feeling clean, nature, kink, powerplay.

Nipples hard, moaning, climax, both horny, spiritual, intimate, animalistic, nookie.  Hard erect, Wet aroused, Enter penetrate, Pump thrust, Cum ecstasy orgasm, spurt spurt.   No condoms, no diseases, on pill or seeking conception, ultimate satisfaction, afterglow.

Hungry for more

Other positions, fast slow, tantric, oral anal vaginal, learning each other.  Rape fantasy, bdsm, role play, vibrator, rough sex, tender deflowering, orgy, threesome.  Swing, (dancing, or fucking?, definitely not a playground activity).

Literotica, penthouse letters, phone sex, fantasies and communication, communion

AllahJehovahGodOneLove

 Good God Almighty

Definition: 7-15-4, 26, like the alphabet, 8 like infinity ∞, and 1 in the Bible

The book of numbers is the 4th book of OT

We’re number 1!

Godot, Godiva, Godoy, Goddard, Godel, God Shammgod, Godin

God am is not goddamn;  dog, backwards; Gatorade overdose

A word, a concept, a role, an identity, a status, a game

A growing concept, an inclusive concept, all the conceptions ever made

Jealous, YHWH (tetragrammaton) (H why, backwards)

The source, the source of all things good

Love, the creator, the father

Reality is all the god there ever is

Self, you-niverse

Love-bliss

Less suffering, more joy

Health, wealth, happiness, love, joy, contentment, peace

Vanity of vanities, all is vanity

One, love, a man of war, good 

Happy happy, joy joy!

Godfrey, Neo

Genesis, and sister Jennifer

Exodus, and sex

Leviticus, and cutie, Elvis 

Numbers, numb

Deuteronomy, deuterium astronomy duty

Chess is war

War is the art of deception

War is hell

Hel is the place of the dead

Anyway, so maybe god is a woman of peace

Or war is the psy-war against war in the first place

Warrants and warriors and worriers

Only God is good, so whatever is good is God

GOAL, gooooooooool!!!!

What to Know

WOW, words of wisdom

•No one lives forever.   Everyone dies.  Everyone is dying.

•Respect one another.  Be kind.  Be good.  Obey the law.  Stay out of jail, prison.

•Read a lot.  Libraries are free.  Free entertainment, education.  Books, movies, music.

•Variety is the spice of life.  Mix it up.  Keep things fresh.  New people, places, foods, activities.

•Be healthy.  Live long and prosper.  Eat, sleep, exercise, meditate.  Stretch.  Stay clean.  Walk dogs.  Grow plants.  Don’t oversleep.  Take the stairs.  Make your bed.  Brush, floss, rinse.

•Be prepared. Know first aid.  Learn self-defense. Know how to turn off the gas.

•Volunteer, have a hobby, do what you enjoy.   Enjoy life.  

•Make friends, fall in love, be a part of communit(ies)

•Make the world a better place.  Be of service.  Be a leader.  Set an example.

•Keep it simple.  We are animals. We are bodies.  All we are doing is moving stuff around.  We are tubes, like worms, from mouth to anus.  Souls don’t exist.  We are living things.  But we are things, nonetheless.  We are on a rock in space.  Earth is as heavenly as it gets.  We are adapted to earth through evolution.   Reality is all the God there ever is.  The universe is infinite, in both directions.  We are infinitely small, and infinitely big.  We are all in our own skull-sized universes.  Love-bliss is the highest heaven.  All things are impermanent.

•Be good to yourself.  To my way of thinking, you are the master of your own domain.  The God of your own you-niverse.  Be alive!  Engage! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.  And learn from the mistakes of others.  I like to immerse in all religions, all gods, all philosophies.  Life is short.  Ideally, no regrets!

Yeah, Baby

Is the Gerber baby still beautiful? 

Night and day, wake and dream, gay and straight, male and female, imprisoned and free, poor and rich, womb and world, hell and heaven, life and death, black and white, right and left

Behind enemy lines

Beauty and ugliness, youth and adulthood

Sober and high

Alive! and dead (zombie)

      Break on through to the other side!

Botttos

You and anti-you, know what you're about

 (self vs. buddhist no-self, not even your name, just a body, always changing)

    (human nature, god's nature, spectrum, possibility, potential, past)

dominance and submission, self-delusion and clear-eyed self knowledge;

multiple personalities, roles, "my"self, empty and selflessness, how others see you -

     Identity, self, beliefs, habits, knowledge, dreams, employment, sexuality, politics, religion, body, goals, bucket list, purpose, hobbies, turn-ons, turn-offs, priorities, preferences, interests, history, early bird or night owl, routines, idiosyncrasies, loves, hates, presentation, roles, personality, intelligence, skills abilities talents, weaknesses imperfections fallibilities defects, pride and humility, authenticity and play-acting, real v. mask, advantages, specialization / major / expertise

Psych measurement

Types of intelligence, interest inventory, extrovert introvert, etc.   INTJ ?

Mad crazy insane, genes/parentage, favorite foods, dating questions: favorite color, brand of toothpaste, hygiene, sex drive, musical tastes, etc. 

Goals, objectives, dreams and desires, 

deity and devil, death and destruction,  Disease and despair, dumb and dickish, cruelty…

Take the devil out of the equation

Level of contentment, satisfaction, wellness, enlightenment, self-realization. 

Equanimity, understanding, empathy

I am kind

I want to be good

I want to make a better world

I want virtue, service, idealism, positivity, optimism, hope, love, joy, kindness, compassion

Friendship, not enmity;  Pleasure, not pain;  Biss, not suffering;  Happiness, not dukkha

Wealth, not poverty;  Community, not selfishness / loneliness / solitude

Gratitude, not Resentment (spite, malice, revenge)

Progress, not oppression, repression, depression, obsession, recession

Fun and adventure, not boredom, rut

Play, vs. drudge (work? study?)

Joy, excitement, reward, knowledge