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Welcome!

I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 51) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2200 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

A meditation on evil

Universal Evil

Okay wtf. I mean, really: What The Fuck.
Praise God, hooray Jesus, Hitler: boo! NOT.
I mean, really: Jesus, if he ate meat, was more evil than Hitler, who was a vegetarian.   Nobody knows, for a fact.  But the argument can be made.

Nobody's perfect, I guess.  Even God. Only God is good?  There is no God. To make God real, you have to become Him.  It's a form, a concept, a role.  And there's no such thing as perfection. Thou shalt not kill? Try not eating. Even vegetarians kill plants. The price of sin is death, they say. Nobody lives forever. Or is it the “wages” of sin. Paid in death. Make a killing, get stinking rich, kill 'em all (healthy: thy hell!). Murder, mr. dr. So that's what education tells us. Get an edge on life.  Grow up and become a doctor. A medical professional. A professor. Make red to make green. Bloody hell.   Nature is red in tooth and claw. Human nature is, if you believe the priests, vampirism and cannibalism; you are what you eat, so we eat and drink God.   God is good.  Finger lickin' good. 

The fact is, do whatever you want before you die: we're all destined for oblivion.  Nothing matters.  There's evil, and there's less evil.  But no one is good. 

After all, Hitler was just talking, freedom of speech, and it's even possible he didn't actually kill anyone, personally (besides himself). And Hitler was kind to animals, while the SAD (standard american diet) gorges itself on dead animal flesh, the painful sacrifice to unending, unendurable human aggravation, the cause of vast suffering to cows, pigs, chickens, fish...

What about whales? Eating zillions of krill. Alive, no less. That's an atrocity, as normal as breathing, you don't see Greenpeace with save the krill signs. (the blue whale can eat up to 40 million krill/day!)

Morality is a joke. Everybody is a piece of shit. Mother Theresa thought suffering was a gift from God. The pope, a Jesuit (who try to see God in all things), would therefore logically see sadistic torture as Godly. I remember a high school preacher going on about the “redemptive value of suffering.” This is nuts. Fuck you, world.  Well, not everybody.  But it sure seems like it, sometimes.

The world is mad. And they make metake medications.  Ugh.  Of course, I have the clarity to write this now, while on olanzapine and risperidone.   I wonder what would I be writing, off?  So anyway, when victims' families declare their desire for the guilty to "burn in hell"... that's kind of a joke, too.   In reality, that's just hoping the perp will forget to use sunscreen in Norway (!)

For the sake of argument, I want to say schizophrenics are the only truly sane. That voice in your head? It's not God, an angel, spirits of the dead, your conscience, your subconscious, or even necessarily who it sounds like: it's just a dick, a sadistic fuck who enjoys bothering you.  Everybody is the devil.  Because that's what life is, a game of aggravation. Life's a bitch, and then you die. Schizos are 8x more likely to commit suicide. 40% attempt, and 5-13% succeed. There's no escape. At least I'm telling you the truth. There's virtue in that, I guess. Now go enjoy that hamburger.

Gawd.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

acronyms and deconstructions

a few of them, anyway

healthy: thy hell
sick: smart intelligent caring kind
ill, or cbs: in love w/ life, or consumed by spite
mad: misery anguish despair, mom and dad
pain: pa in (god: get out, dad)
past: pain agony suffering torment
pastor: " oppression repression
lord: life or death, light or dark
jesus: hey Zeus, Jess u
sid: sick ill diseased
sad: sick and diseased, stupid and dumb, sad and depressed,
        schizo-affective disorder, social anxiety disorder,
        seasonal affective disorder, separation anxiety disorder,
        sexual arousal disorder
staph infection: sadism torture agony pain hell

bad: beelzebub and devil
blood: be lewd
vampire: ima perv (you suck)
cannibal: can o' bull
steak: stake
bible: buy bull.  horns, horny.
eye teeth (ET), see with your k9s (guide dog: g-d)
    seeing eye dog (sed: thirst, in spanish)
g-d: getting drunk
sax and violins: sex and violence
wine, whine, winnie, win E (ecstasy?)
grape: gr rape, gr ape, therapist: the rapist
well: we will, we'll (a "tall drink of water")
host (hostile hostel), wafer (wafer me outside)
eucharist: eu a christ
   (ukelele wrist)(hostess cupcakes)
alien: a lien (on your property), a lion (in zion), a lyin' (dog!)
hat: hunger and thirst
food: foo-fighters (alien technology)
consume: con sue me
great: gr eat, gr8
rabbit, presbyterian (bit, byter)
knight, mourning, break fast
fruits, vegetables, nuts
   (all 3: an insane brain-dead queer; ur what u eat)
joy dish soap, luvs diapers, kind bars, smart water, harmony snacks
bmw: best man wins

glad: greg liz and declan!
lgbt: liz greg ben teshara

Monday, February 20, 2017

He Wanted to be Superman

He wanted to be a superman.

Superman.  Superhuman.  And not just a super human.  He wanted to be the best.  The best he could be, superior, excellent, wonderful, perfect.  Be all you can be, like the army says.  To reach his potential, to use every brain cell, to be at 100%.  He wanted to be the best.  In every category: the beauty of Arnold, the wealth of Bill, the trivia mastery of Ken, the goodness of Mother Teresa, the combat prowess of Morihei Ueshiba, the genius of Christopher Langan...with the longest lifespan, the most children, the most books written/the most books, read, and the highest level of sustained happiness possible.   And power.  He wanted God-like power.  Not necessarily as President, or even as a Mayor- just the capacity to create the world in his own image, behind-the-scenes, if need be.

But wait! There's more!
Perfection also entails spiritual mastery: The equanimity and bliss of the Buddha, honestly obtained through meditation, reflection, thought, study, discernment; not from a lifetime supply of heroin, for example.  A large part of this would be the crushing of madness, and a lifetime of sanity.   Loving, loved, in love.   To think/say/do/be good/better/best.   To be happy, cheerful, joyful, humorous, kind, gentle, grateful, satisfied, content, strong, fit, healthy, well, sane, appreciated, respected, admired, in service, productive, loved, emulated, sought after.

In sum,
He wanted to unify together all the pieces of the perfection puzzle, to create Himself into an ideal:
Knowledge (educated, informed), wisdom, money, power, beauty, lethality/invulnerability, goodness, perfection, joy, love, longevity, courage, creative-genius: the many facets of an exemplary life, a life well-lived, honest and honorable, virtuous and valued and victorious (over the forces of darkness: ignorance, incuriosity, stupidity, and evil).

This was his goal.   A simple goal.  He was a simple man.
(Self-realization.  To be Himself.  To simply be.)

He realized Sanity might not be in the cards (not playing with a full deck?) (you deal with the cards you're dealt)  Or, a little madness in the mix could be a necessary component of true sanity.  People are cards, characters, forms, roles.  But also are unique, with distinctive identities, and true essences, colors, selves, behind the masks/facades/presentation.   It's a mad mad world.   And you can also choose to have no fixed identity, to be all things, in potential and possibility, playing any required role, when "the world's a stage," with the freedom to be all things to all people, anything to anyone.  Is the world predictable, like a computer program/matrix?  Or an infinite canvas of interesting individuality?   The world may be mad, but hopefully we can keep it from being a threat to itself or others!  And, stated positively, we can keep/make the world peaceful, prosperous, and happy/content, filled with truth, beauty, health, love, and respect.  Both individually, and as universally as possible: Love thy neighbor, love thyself, love all, serve all, Be Good.  A thousand points of light, as they say.  Basic needs and comfort for all.  Health care as a universal human right. Craving and aversion, positive and negative attachment, eliminated.  Know thyself, extinguish resentment, and remember that is better to do nothing at all than to do harm: there can be virtue even in inaction.  Don't give evil purchase.  Extinguish greed/desire, hatred/malice, ignorance/delusion; Be mindful, and kind.  Don't be a dick.  Every day is a new beginning.  May the force be with you.  Be a man for others.  Do a good turn daily.  Be prepared.  Namaste :-)

(Namaste is a sanskrit/hindi respectful greeting: the god in me bows to the god in you.)  Maybe sanity has saint in it for a reason.  Remember, only God is good, and we're all good; So you ARE God.   Well, I am, anyway.  I am ______(fill in the blank).  Yup, whatever it is, it's God!  Unless you put in "not."  Although, I suppose that works, too.  God is a man of war, and the art of war is deception.  So you can say anything about God, He doesn't mind.   For example, God is a fiction, fantasy, imaginary.  I'm still here! ha.  God is a dick?  Well, I guess so, actually.  And any other body part you care to mention, or Richard, or a shithead/butthead/head-butt, or bastard, born out of wedlock, like me.  God is a brain.  God is an asshole.  God is a fist.  God is a pussy.   God is a body.  God is a corporation.  Reality is God.  God is everywhere.  Evil.  Hell.  Disrespect.  Depression.  Stupidity.  Death.  Madness.  Demons and darkness.  Scum.  Bullies.  Depraved criminals.  Torture.  Lies.  Oblivion.  Apocalypse.  Absurdity.  Spite.  Resentment.  All this blog's incessant babbling.  Your comments.  It's all good.  Even the shit.  Cruelty to be kind.  Baby ruthless.  Praise God.  Holy wombat, batman.  Nee!  As McDonald's says, "I'm lovin' it."  Love conquers all, the sadistic fuck. 

Why am I saying evil is good?  Exploring the logical extension and implications of statements like it's all good and God is everywhere, for starters.  Because evil is everywhere, ubiquitous, banal, delicious, and even fun.  Because I'm insane.  Because one man's evil hell is another's sacred paradise.  Because maybe it brings succor to the oppressed, hope in the goodness of the bigger picture, the long arc of history and justice.  Because God is great! and vengeance is sweet.  Because life is shit, God doesn't exist, and I felt like spewing some philosophical graffiti.  Because I hate you.  Because I hate myself.  Because it's all my fault.  Because I'm delusional.  Because I'm trying to make sense of the world.  Because I am a sinner, and because I am also God Himself, just like you.  Because I'm full of shit.  Because I like to think, to write, and be right, and find truth, maybe by making some mistakes in the self-apotheotic learning curve.  For the hell of it.  Because hell is good?  Because justice, and vengeance, and love.  That sounds about right.  Love gets twisted.