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Welcome!

I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 51) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2200 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise

from an email from presidential candidate 
Bernie Sanders:

" The American people understand that our current health care system is not working.
 

They understand that the profiteering of the pharmaceutical industry and private insurance companies causes the United States to spend more per capita on health care than any other nation, while our life expectancy, infant mortality and preventable deaths outcomes are worse than most other countries. 

We should be spending our money on care and disease prevention, not paper-pushing and debt collection. But the simple truth is that our efforts to eliminate waste and profiteering are endangered by these powerful corporate interests.
 

A single-payer system will expand employment and lift a major financial weight off of businesses burdened by employee health expenses. And the millions of Americans stuck in jobs they don't like, they would be free to explore more productive opportunities as they desire. 

I am convinced today more than ever before that universal quality health care as a right will eventually become the law of the land. It is the only way forward. "

I agree.  Go, Bernie!
In my opinion, and I go even further- quality healthcare should be a Human Right, free and availabe for Everyone (the Whole Wide World!) 
Right? 

Single-Payer, btw, is:
Single-payer health care is a system in which the government, rather than private insurers, pays for all health care costs.[1] 
wikipedia article on SPHC, link. 

ASIDE
THIS IS MY 1,000th POST! (if I tabulated correctly) YAY!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Church of Jesse


Church of Jesse:
(really the church of You)

I believe I am God, but I don't want you to worship me -
because I believe everyone is their own God. Worship yourself.
You have the power to create your own heaven, happiness, utopia, while alive.
I am the God of my own world, you of yours.
We share the world, of course, and we should help each other get there..
we could therefore play power games, and pound our chests like gorillas to see who is the alpha, or I could tell you that I am perfect, and you are lowly, and should submit (such as to Allah, Islam means submission) to my will. Which I am totally fine with, by the way, but if you do it, you should do it by choosing to agree with me, because you find my opinions reasonable and compelling, not because of blind obedience or faith in my divinity. But to each his own.

Allah, in fact, and perhaps this is a “spell” elicited by modern linguistic deconstructionism, makes me think of All a H; H is the 8th letter, and the word 'God', in numerology based on the english alphabet, base 10, in which every word corresponds to a number between 1 and 9, sums to 8- so therefore the arabic word for god in english makes me translate the meaning of H as code for God: thus Allah as 'All a God'. 

Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, says the bible.
I am, is God's name, of which I choose the third interpretation.
(1. God is God. 2. the bible is God, (as if the words were alive),
and 3.You (the reader) are God, which includes me, I am God.)
My 'Allah' interpretation includes everyone, not just readers of whatever holy book.
And, as Adi Da said, reasonably I think, “Reality is all the God there ever is.”

So that expands the concept beyond a universe-creator deity from the deep past (an alien life-form?), your more immediate creators (your parents), the bible (the full set of concepts, memes, interpretations, and practice), anyone who claimed godhood in the past in the biblical tradition (such as Jesus), a corporate body of believers such as all of Christianity/the sangha/your particular church, etc. I would add, maybe everyone in your head (all in all is all we are?) as another step in the progression of expanding conceptions of God, or even all of humanity, or everyone of good will (of any and all or even no religion). But reality includes things, animals, stars, empty space, and I think the best concept of God includes everything, not just that fragment of reality with consciousness. After all, people are things, too. And we are animals, of course. Or, in the words of madonna, you're a superstar, yes that's what you are (lol). 2 stars to like: The north star provides direction, and the sun provides warmth. Anyway, the progression culminates in the Universe, which is everything, the All, or what I call the YOU-niverse. Reality may be infinite, but everyone's world, in truth, resides between their ears (which of course includes telepathy, vibes, dreams, memes, communication, prayer, and maybe even computers). We do interpenetrate. The boundaries are indistinct. And our brains each have more neural connections in them than there are atoms in the universe, if I remember correctly. We must create our own virtual reality, a place we enjoy, which is virtuous. We shouldn't exclude those who are suffering, or places that might seem hellish (such as a dungeon, or someone “locked-in” who is paralyzed, or perhaps the inside of a star). We should extinguish our personal suffering, vanquish those who persecute us, separate ourselves from the causes of suffering, and get to the place of loving life, constantly renewing and increasing our affinity, and I find Buddhist doctrine helpful in this regard. Love everything, love everyone, as Dostoevsky said. Love all, serve all, as the hard rock cafe says. Be good! (the entire message of all religions, ever!) Love life!

Peace be with you. 

Hopefully having an open mind, allowing everyone in your head, will create a riotous party, where everybody has a rollicking jolly good time, or at least loses some dukkha, and makes progress toward bliss.

Monday, July 20, 2015

50 Reasons People Kill

50, More or Less- purely theoretical, of course: poor value inculcation; video games, life as a game; hatred, anger, resentment, disgust; it makes them happy, thrill kill, because they're depressed; revenge; believing they're a demon, the devil, evil; believing it's god's will; just to do it, do everything once, see how it feels; they're paid to, a mercenary, an assassin, a soldier, a hitman; geopolitics, national interest, for your country, at war, because the president wants you to, defense; as a favor, for love, for a blunt or two; to not get caught, of a witness; the perfect crime, opportunity, because they can; to be imprisoned, to get off the streets, for shelter; because you like jail; suicidal and homicidal, both; for a political cause, us vs. them; freedom from oppression; kill unbelievers, send them to hell, fatwa/jihad; to make life worth living, to add value, to make a difference (subtract); anomie, meaninglessness, unity with the universe; because you only live once; to be all you can be; because everyone dies; because they're annoying; they lied to you; they victimized you; they're stupid, ignorant, retarded; they're inferior; they were unkind, mean, cruel, thoughtless; kill or be killed, self-defense, pre-emptive self-defense; to do them a favor; to do the world a favor; because they're ugly; best thing for him really, his therapy was going nowhere; to play chess with the police; to play the most dangerous game; because they're sad; because nothing really matters; to stay sharp, for exercise, to mix it up, to vary the m.o.; for food, cannibalism; to end their suffering; to scare society, to feel powerful, to have power; to be the center of attention; for immortality, fame; because some women like dangerous men; to make life come into sharper focus, to come alive, to remember, to feel; because life is shit, life is hell, people suck; because they're tortured, possessed, have demon(s); the voice(s) told them to, madness, schizophrenia, obey!; fuck you, world; because they need to; because they're sick, and stupid; to start a war, revolution, etc.; they're a stone-cold killer, rock and roll, lock and load; mind control, drugs, movies, devil's pawn; epic, biblical rage; delusional, identification with a character/role (e.g. bloodthirsty vampire, blade-runner vs. replicants/robots/androids, neo vs. unreal agents in a matrix program, etc.); businessman "making a killing", a comedian that "killed", banality of evil: murderburger; copycat.

In Sum!

A summertime summation God is One, says the bible. I would also say, since God is love, that God is 2. Unless you're in a threesome. Then God is the trinity. Ha. English alphabet numerology. 26 letters. Each letter is a number from 1 to 9. AJS 1 BKT 2 CLU 3 DMV 4 ENW 5 FOX 6 GPY 7 HQZ 8 IR 9 comprendes tu? Religious numerology father is 4. son is 3. holy is 6. spirit is 1. so holyspirit is 7. so father, son, and holy spirit is 4,3,and 7. Troop 14, rah! Christ is 5, too. Or maybe I should say also. Too is 5. also is 2. Whatever. 3. Sex sums to 3. which makes scents. Jesus sums to 2, as does jew, or beast, or breast. G-D sums to 2. God with sexy number 6 for an O added in to the equation, is 8. 8 Sideways is the symbol for infinity. Numerology is pointless, perhaps -but then again, so is life. Ecclesiastes say all is frustration, futility, absurdity, nonsense. Love is 9. JesusChrist is 7. church is 7. Do you understand? What is the meaning of this, anyway? This is 2. Larry or Shawn is 2, too. Okay, sorry. Jesse means 'the whole office' of the eucharist. t.w.o.!!! Eu a christ! U r what u eat (less what you excrete)... Carnivores are death-eaters, to use a Harry Potter term. Thanks, JK Rowling. I'm not the only One. Jesse is 4. like antichrist. Or david. Or al. Or even Four (which is actually 6, lol). I met a Four (ha, metaphor) in jail. My initials are JLT, which evokes jailtime. I served 10 months. Sac County jail, Atascadero State Hospital, and somewhere else, I forget. But esse is latin for being, or eating. So I'm being J. J is the tenth letter. So my name conjurs, say 10. or tennessee. Or jest. The book of numbers is the fourth book. Satan is 11215, which is 10. So maybe Satan is God, cuz they're both 1. Like I said, whatever. Eating satan. Being satan. Both? Gr-ace. If you're gonna be evil, you should at least be evil towards evil. That makes it a form of good, you might say. The dark side turned on itself. The snake swallowing it's tail. But eating satan in the form of eu a christ is hardly effective at ridding the world of evil, no? hm. well maybe it is. I dunno. Maybe I should have faith. Maybe we shit the devil...!!! Get out, you piece of shit! (a further revelation of the mystery of the eucharist) My birthmom is Annette Riddle. A net. Fishing, internet, rid of dull. Arco. My other mom is Peggy Teshara. I think of PG&E and Egypt in relation to that. Her real name is Margaret (r great ma), which she doesn't like, strangely enough. Although dullness is evil, actually. And murder is exciting. Huh. I am God. That's pretty exciting. My blog is my gift. Jesse also means 'God's gift', or 'God makes forget'. That sounds like the gift of forgiveness of sins, to me (and a happy addendum to the law of karma) I don't want to spend my time in hell, staring at the walls of a prison cell. -the police. I don't want to suffer for any one else's sins, either. I'm not Jesus, Satan, Devil, or an angel, good or bad. I'm Jesse. I like to think I'm God, just for fun. Or maybe because I really am. They say I'm crazy. I take olanzapine and risperdal for schizophrenia. That's my diagnosis, anyway. Not sure if that's the reality. In any case, I believe we are all the masters of our own reality, each of us gods of our own private universe. You-niverse. You-topia. You-N. You-nited States. (body politic!) Also, God is only real if he's you, because you are your only reality, no? Reality is all the God there ever is -Adi Da Consciousness is your only reality (your mind, that is, including the subconscious) Our minds interpenetrate, we are a collective organism, with a hive mind. You feel me, dawg? A zen monk said the fundamental delusion of humanity is I am in here, and you are out there- So I AM is God's name, because he's the principle of existence as good. The communal effort to make everyone's life worth living, happy, rewarding, satisfying, fulfilling, pleasant, comfortable, in love, in service, healthy, free of suffering, and enjoyable. Money, perhaps. Money anagrams to 'my one'. God is one! My god. Even if God doesn't exist, we can be happy. Religion is just trying to create a community that helps each other out. I think a community of atheists can be just as godly as a Body of Christ, for example (the body of believers in Jesus, a kind of corporate personhood). Whatever floats your boat, right? (that would probably be water).

Friday, July 17, 2015

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Sex!

messages in your inbox

welcum.  cum in!  make yourself! (at 'ho m)
mess o' jizz in your in-box
cum pew t' her, missionary position
soft and hard where, hard drive
driven to suck seed
7-up
sexy 6.  xxx is 666.  sex sex sex! sucks, socks
beast with 2 backs
animal-style, doggy style, cocker spaniel, cockroach, insex
god is one, dog is neo, pussy cat, eno- ugh.
money- my one
cockpit
richard, jack, peter
jazz, jay-z
buy, bye, bible
homeowners, homo sapiens, investigation
butt weight, there's more!
assholes, dicks, pussies, cunts, cocksuckers
penetrating insights, thrust of your argument
pumpkin
sects, communion
dumb convict (jail) break
jacket
master Bates
sex, excess
ten as binary, one and zero, or I and O (eye owe),
for "in" and "out" , or 1 as penis, and 0 as a hole (vagina, mouth, anus)
get a grip
condominium
fill up at ex-on

"united" states, a more perfect "union":
Texas, sex at
Californication
floor id duh
mounting a 'ho (montana, idaho)
louis y anna
missus sip P
in Diana
round on both ends, high in the middle
virgin yeah

to be cunt in you'd: please submit (!) whatever I've miss'ed-

Summer!

a bundle of associations

JJA (June July August)
June 21st, summer solstice
September 3, my birthday, around labor day, often 1st day of school
July 4th, independence day, fireworks
July 26th, dad's birthday, "christmas in  July"!
August 10th, mom's birthday (both leos)
vacation, baseball games, disneyland/great america, cruise ship, etc.
summer camp (scout camps Royaneh, Wente, Oljato)
(family camps Mountain home ranch, camp Mather)
heat, warmth, sunbathing, sunglasses, sunscreen, swimming,
beer, barbeque, water bottle -stay hydrated
summer reading, shakespeare in the park
have fun in the sun, redwoods, thunderbird, diamond R corral, trail rides, canoeing, rowboating

also
-one who sums, a mathematician, a numerologist, the count
e.g. 'Jess'e=4
-walgreens employee by the name of Summer
-Sumer (Sumeria?)
-and, sadly, the car accident I was in (was it '94?)

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

look good, feel good

body-building

daily exercise, constant improvement-

goal:
to be proud of my body, to set an example
to feel alive, get those endorphins flowing
to be healthy:
-to use physical health as a springboard to mental health.
 also,
to be sexy, and to live long (and prosper!)
to be in superior shape and conditioning.

I am 6'1, and I weigh 210 now.  I am 43 y.o.
I want to look like Rusty Jeffers in 10 years.
I'm wondering if that's even possible, for me
or for a vegetarian.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

(Personal) Update

what's new in my world

Augustus is walking, Benjamin close :).  Poutine, the frenchy, is adorable.  Dinner with SPA on Monday, turkey salad, delicious! Had 2 beers.  Hosed off the high chair outside, lol.  

my (dental) crown fell out, Monday.  lesson: don't eat TJ's ginger chews if you have a crown: sticky!
i have to wait 2 weeks before the next dental appt. to look at it (at the BFC).  The tooth doesn't hurt, but is sensitive with contact.

looking fwd to going to Camp Royaneh on Saturday for the 90th party, with dad and bro.  It's definitely Summer.  And I'll get a t-shirt.

yesterday and today I've been helping my bro (and Jeff) move his office, from SF to Daly City. 
he buys, sells, leases, rents, moves shipping containers (Hutchinson llc).  moving up in the world!  Business is good.  He'll share an office with an immigration lawyer.

I'm having a hard time reading Law 101, by Jay M. Feinman.  I keep preferring listening to music, instead.  It's due tomorrow, in SF.  I renewed it once.  Maybe I can renew it again.  The subtitle is "Everything You Need to Know about American Law" (which is motivation enough to slog through, I think.  definitely cheaper than a year of law school).  I got a good ways into my Nt'l Geo history book, but I've switched to the library books, 'cause they have a deadline.

I have a new roommate, Todd.  Well, housemate.  I'm waiting for a disability bart pass in the mail.  It's been over 45 days since I turned in the application, hopefully should arrive soon.

Sunday, dinner at 801 with M&D, Tom & Jeannine.  People were 'under the weather' last weekend, so the meal was cancelled.  Dad's birthday is coming up. 

I haven't been to the Y in like 2 weeks.  I housesat for 10 days in San Leandro.  I've grown a beard, too.  I ate lots of vegetarian meals (gardein, tofurkey, morningstar, etc.), which were good, but still had a roast beef with guacamole subway sandwich, which I enjoyed.  Will miss Kaiser group today (my being in SF).  Missed 3 weeks in a row, actually: slept in, housesitting, helping Greg.  They're getting a bit repetitive, anyway.

the blog hit 12,345 not too long ago.  Now it's like 500 more (!). Hello Russia!  Hello Redmond!
Yay, followers!  I always appreciate feedback and comments, folks!

I started listening to Insane Clown Posse on youtube.  I may be insane, but those (two) guys are Seriously Weird.   But entertaining.  Not ready to call myself a Juggalo, yet.

Getting serious for a moment, I hope Iran and the U.S. can hammer out that nuclear deal.  I'd be even happier if the U.S. promised to permit Iranian inspectors, too!  Shouldn't it be mutual?  And I wish the world would disarm -I'm thinking of you, Russia (seriously? MORE nukes, really?)

also, I was looking through a friend's role playing game (rpg) book, and it had Levels 1- 4 Cleric spells, which I thought was interesting, and somehow relevant to my blog.  I wasn't into DnD as a kid, but I'm having fun as God, now, making up for lost time.   Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me, as they say.

pronunciation guide:  is it Eye-Ran or E-Ron (!) having a
non-threatening New-klee-er (not Nuke-you-lur) program?

okay, peace out.  Enjoy your Summer, everyone!  Time to go swimming, I think.