Wicked Angel

 well, here I am.   Somewhere else.  Nice place, here.  Back to the old space, in 2 days.  That’s nice, too.  I’ll be back.  Little variety, good for the soul.  Spice of life.  I’m listening to stoner rock.   But I’m not stoned.  I had some cookies, lol. Still good music.  My mind is a weird place.  I take my nightly psych meds, before I go to sleep.  I didn’t, 2 nights ago.  Better dreams, actually.   But probably not a good idea to maintain.  The world is madness when I’m off meds.  Is one way of putting it.    Others like to take drugs to get crazy.   I take them to get sane.  So it goes.   I take zyprexa and risperdal (olanzapine and risperidone).   Good ol’ Kaiser.  Still, I wonder what would happen if I went off them.  I’ve been down that road.  There’s something to be said for authenticity, in any case.  

But what if I went mad? In prison or worse.  Or got high, and even crazier than usual?  Or did something crazy, like fuck a man, or a girl?  Or ate a ton of sugar, and got diabetes? Or wrote a book by the Devil?  That sounds fun, actually.  Murder and mayhem, sex and drugs, and some alternative religion of hate, cruelty, warcrimes, and wickedness.  The depths of depravity, from the depths of my so-called soul.  What if I went to church, and heckled the priest?  Or assassinated some pos political figure?  Or cannibalized some tasty citizen? Or tortured someone in a personal dungeon?  A monster.  A dinosaur, come to life.   Welcome back, you beast.  

I could try and systematically break every single law.   Fuck animals and rape old ladies and bomb buses and travel the world, committing every heinous act of every conceivable moral or ethical system.  Do all evil at every opportunity, basically.  Vary my MO, keep ‘em guessing.  Be as depraved and rotten as possible.  Be all you can be, says the DOD.   Well, alright.   A little sniper action is good for what ails ya.  Exploding skulls and all.  Get into the spirit of Christmas.   It’s only human.  A stone-cold killer.  Offing people left and right.  Have a blast.  Happiness is a warm gun, mama.  Chop! Chop!

Wait.   There’s an alternative, here.  Better angels have something to say.  Obey all laws.  Or, even better, do good at every opportunity.   As virtuous as possible.  Live and let live.  Make the world a better place.  Heavenly, in fact.   Put evildoers behind bars.  Make the world safe for everyone.  Even the criminals.  Inspire people to be all they can be, in pursuit of paradise.  Spread peace and love.   Make people happy, laugh, smile, sing, dance, play.  And pleasure, like massage or sex.   Consensual, heterosexual, adult, marital, procreative sex, champs!  Just do it.   Diplomats and comedians, making peace and joy.  Teachers, knowledge.   Cops and lawyers, justice.  

The fact is, modern society doesn’t admit evil.  Except in video games.  Not unless you’re willing to be locked up.  Or for the devil, who torments and tortures everyone, at every (legal) opportunity, except for the right of privacy, which doesn’t exist, for him.  The mind is his dungeon.  Or Putin, unless his overture for peace is genuine.  Every thought is public.  Every action, known.  So be good for goodness’ sake!

SaDs: sad and depressed, sick and diseased, sickness and death, sorrow and despair, sex and drugs, stupid and dumb, sin and depravity, stormy and dark, satan and devil

     social anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder, schizo-affective disorder, substance abuse disorder

Smiling smilodon, happy hippie, joyful Joyce, blissful sister, cheery here, love above, fun with guns, sometimes sin is sane, virtuous merch, holy smokes, bless this mess, play on the bay, games with names, content with Kent, dancing with Dan and Danielle, smiling Kyle, glad Gladys, singing with the king, laughing at the staff, satisfied with pie!

DAE

1. god, doesn't admit evil

2. devil, do all evil

3. both: disgust, anger, exasperation

David Andrew Eldridge, Daewoo, 

   and dark ambient electronica

dictionary of American English 

   hooked on ebonics

hookers, the other "fishers of men"

buddha dharma sangha, beelzebub devil satan

abbott and habit, rabbi and rabbit, spirit and stab it

time rot: the world chews you up and spits you out

slit your wrist, shit and pissed, spit a list (spit and spite)

head of household, head honcho, happy holidays, hanukkah, halloween

alienation, isolation, loneliness, solitude (what AILS ya)

mother moth, smothers brothers, babies by other mothers

SIRI, are you serious? that's stupid, ignorant, retarded, incurious

mad crazy insane, mindfulness concentration insight

untroubled by tribbles, toiling for toys

upset, on high;  downcast, down under

Better Angels, lol (there's no angels!  like centaurs, or griffins)

La Vida

The Meaning of Life

Having kids, making money

Having fun, making love

Traveling the world, gaining experience, knowledge

Loving life, loving yourself, loving your partner

Reading books, eating well, being healthy, music

Strong, fit, well, sane;  Alive! 

Or, just books and music

And writing

Staying sane

Content without needing any of above

Food, water, shelter, and a library

Good to go

Or drugs, getting drunk

Lots of sex

A spot of the old ultra-violence

crime, vice, sin and madness

Do what thou wilt

Highway to hell

Father

 Dad, Padre, Fr.

13 of Them (!):

1. Your (bio-) dad

2. Your adoptive dad

3. The first human ("Adam")

4. Jesus' father (Allah, Yahweh, Heavenly Father)

5. First Life (plant, animal) evolutionary (extra-terrestrial?), grandfather, great-grandfather, forefathers

6. The Pope (Il Papa)

7. Catholic priests ("fathers")

8. Godfather

9. Vampire sire (demon, devil)(made, not begotten)

10. dad's husband (lol)

11. Self (?)  (known or unknown)

12. Creator, art etc.  (a.  books, authors, for example). (b. church fathers, c. fathers of the country, d.  fathers of a field or invention)

13. MOM!  (co-creator) ("fat her")

and, also, sugar-daddies, SD Padres (members of mlb professional baseball team), big daddy kane, and the doggfather... 

Theological Conjecture

G-D

God, the good deity, has perfect eidetic memory, can speed-read, is a math genius, a natural psychologist, and an attorney-at-law.   He is on a quest to rid the world of evil, and fill it with love.  He forgives all, and gives tough love, and engages fully, firing on all cylinders, on a mission to make a better world, every single day, full of joy and happiness, peace and love, harmony and fun.  He appreciates gratitude, and welcomes all into his life, excluding no one.  He works behind the scenes, preferring anonymity.  His bliss is not money, although he does want everyone to live comfortably and well.  It is progress and contentment, laughter and smiles and song and dance, celebration of life.  He wants the best for all of us, in all nations, of all religions, of all classes, and for all sentient beings.  He is vegetarian, pro-life, pacifist, anti-death penalty, and pro-love, in all its forms.  He is Buddhist, Democrat, bisexual, and militant.  His dreams are constant, insane, and vivid.   He can inhabit all worlds, in his mind.  This is all theoretical.  God bless you, whether you sneezed or not! 

:-(

Unhappy, Cheerless, Sad, Depressed

Pain, agony, suffering, torment, misery, anguish, despair, hopelessness

anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury

ire, spite, malice, revenge

Mad, crazy, insane

Cruel,  brutal, savage

Crime, vice, sin;    cthulhu, voldemort, sauron

kill, murder, assassinate, rape, torture

Illegal, criminal, unlawful

   wrong, bad, unethical, immoral

   degenerate, debauched, dissolute

wicked, evil, sin, turpitude

    miscreant, reprobate

torture, evil, depravity

Beelzebub devil satan mephistopheles, lucifer antichrist

Rotten, Corrupt, Crooked

Stress, anxiety, worry

dukkha, discontent, despair, depression, depravity, devil, demon, death, disease, destruction, darkness, decay, disaster

Offing an officer

Vampire victim, vicious vile vice

Versus verses

Anomie is the enemy

Stupid, ignorant, dumb

    idiot, moron, fool

sick, ill, diseased (unwell)

jinn, eblis, azazel

Hell (war)

psychosis, neurosis

Hallucination, delusion

iniquity, inequity

santa knows saints and satan

naughty and nice

leave a fanta for santa

fantasy: santa-see

Canada, United States, Mexico

  fun with elves:

     a. Everyone Lives Forever

     b. Energy Love Fun

     c. Excitement Laughter Feeling

Blather

 What I have to Impart.  You decide if I was wise.

Atheism is indeed a path to God, if you make yourself God, you come to know the Reality of the divine, more than many/most theists, I would surmise.   A level beyond blind faith. 

Play the role, and you become what you pretend to be.  Possessed by the Loving Almighty.  As you always were, but didn’t realize.  You come back round to the beginning.   A created creator.  

Islam is submission.   You can dominate everyone, as if you have all the answers.   But eventually, you come to realize the hive mind is bigger than just yourself.   You belong to a community, the collective of which is God themself, the One.

Reality is a construct, a Unity, and you are a powerful molder and shaper of your own destiny, through your thinking, your roles played, and your unflagging efforts for the good and beautiful.  

If you love yourself, and everyone, and life, and the world, indeed the Universe, you love The All, which can be called God, which is Love itself.   Love should be loved.  Happiness, joy, bliss, contentment, ease, satisfaction, positiivity, are yours.  You worked for it.  Enjoy the fruits of your (ongoing) efforts.  God loves you.   You love God.   You are in a relationship with Reality.

I am full of sit.  Ha.

It all just rolls off you like water off a duck’s back.  Equanimity.   You get it.   You grok.  You’ve been there.  You are wise.   You understand, comprehend.  It’s all good.   Let it be.

It’s all you.  Not only is everyone experiencing the same Reality as you, at different stages, but you can bend and warp and shape future reality, you are powerful, people bend to your will.  Reality rearranges itself to conform to your prayers, wishes, dreams, desires, intentions, goals.

Love is bliss.   You’re there, man.  Do what makes you happy.  Remove what displeases you.  Conform to the principles and laws of achievement.  Internalize what works, rinse and repeat.  

May all your dreams come true.   Love, peace, freedom, joy, health, wealth, wisdom.  May the force be with you.  Amen.  God bless.

Take wisdom from all religions, all cultures, all people, all ages, everyone, always.  Learn from others’ mistakes, as well as your own.  All the google questions are your own.  You’re curious, engaged, alive, all you can be.  Your experience is vast, in all the books of all the libraries, and movies.   Your emotions are in all the music.  And you are not alone.   Everyone is experiencing different aspects of the Same Reality, like branches of the same fractal.  Friends and family and allies are everywhere, eager to help with any and all problems that arise.  

If you’re going through hell, keep going.  It only gets better.  Hitting bottom is a necessary part of growing, getting back up, bouncing back, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  God is everywhere.  It really is all good.  Evil, death, pain, suffering are stations on the way to destiny.   You’ll get there.  You’re there already.  

Alive!  Seize the day.  Love life.  Love one another.  Be good.  Eschew evil. Have fun.  Play on.  Life is short.  Just do it.   Get on with it.  Take a walk on the wild side.  Or don’t.  Be yourself.  You don’t have a self!  Hurry up, take your time.   Be sane, get crazy.  Do what you gotta do.

You do you.  I’ll be here, blathering on.  :-)

Zap! bzzzt

God as Zeus with thunderbolts in his hands (aka lightning bolts)

    Like the Emperor from Star Wars, or 

    Steal Your Face symbol of the Grateful Dead, or

    Head shocks, brainzaps (side effect of some psychiatric medications), (from stress, maybe?), ("are not harmful and will not damage the brain”), or

    Electroshock therapy, or

    Scifi (say, Neuromancer?, by William Gibson), digital brain

and heartache, too

God, “proudly living my truth”

   personal, intimate, deeply felt revelation

   you look divine, let's go to ambrosia bakery

Argh, argon, argonauts, argyle

Car, Cardiff, Carrero, Oscar

Leo, lion, law enforcement officer

   Leos (sun sign: from 7/23-8/22)

      (Leo DiCaprio is a Scorpio)

Copulating with cops, pleasing the police

Spirited defense, the spirit of radio, fork and spear it

   Spirit of christmas, holy spirit, and penetration

LBJ, beachhead, sick ducks, and Boris Johnson

   Better than roses on a piano? tulips on an organ

Scads of scantily-clads

Nguyen-Winn, Lou Reed and Lou Ferrigno, 

Lou's and LU chocolates (Wynn and Luse)

Aaron and Erin

Amenities and Eumenides, amen

Assistance with existence

   survival service

Okay, OK, alright, all right

   O-right, all-K (!)

SAD, substance abuse disorder

SAC, soil and climate

Condemning the dems

Losing my shit (in the bathroom)

Being fruitful and multiplying

   Mick Jagger has 8 children, Rod Stewart has 8 children

   Elon Musk has 9, Eddie Murphy has 10, 

   Bob Marley has 11, Ray Charles has 12

Plus!

forked tongue at Catholic Mass:

lengua (tongue), alcoholic cat, m ass, dear deer, lettuce prey, lord, L or D, lored, hear here, rare prayer, judge mints, 4ever and Eve, a10d (attend) 2(to), a10chin (attention), 4giveness, X our lord, majesty (JEST, Jess T, and ma), comes in the name of the lord (Jesus, Jess U), Jesus Christ, 2-5, 7 up, coming, bishop cummins, cum, passion, longing, holiness (holes), given up, in the highest, resurrection erection, chalice phallus, Holy Spirit (spear it), necking (new and eternal covenant), SD (spiritual drink, fellatio), ahh men (amen), always (all ways), in memory of me (mom), prince of peace (pop), church spread throughout the word, offering (off rings), honor (on her), glory (glow)

lord and savior, lore and yore, history, acclaim - a claim

A and E, always and everywhere, almighty and eternal, arts and entertainment (sexy 6, 1 and 5)

Art in heaven, Arthur, Glory and Laurie, Almighty (all my T), T as cross

FOS, forgiveness of sins

sin, sun, son, light of your face

eve, evil, ever (mystery, mr. E)

SOL, sun, supper of lamb, eating what the lamb eats/ eating the lamb itself

  LAMB- Lucifer, antichrist, mephistopheles, beelzebub

soldier, protection (pleased and satisfied)

soul, sole, sol (silence of lambs, statue of liberty, spirit of lord) (foot, fish) 

answers, exultant, ant, aunt

    male ants (mate and die, madness)

FOE, fruit of the earth (heart, hater), FOG, full of grace (gr ace)

sacrifice, sack of ice

hop, hear our prayer (rabbi and rabbit)

Heavenly Father (the priest, your dad, Jesus' dad, etc.)

throughout all ages, in the fullness of time, at all times, watchful

spread laughter, love, joy, hope; amdg -  for the greater glory of god

need, kneed, knead (always hears and answers us)

blog, blessed lord our god

JEW- just enjoy walking (says Thich)

nothing matters, everything matters

life is beautiful, life is shit

Hands, H and S; Piano, P and O, commingling, lol

    mellow yellow, down brown

don't let your left hand know what your right is doing?? 

    (verse for an octopus!)

satan, santa, and sin;   devil for evil;   god - get out, devil;  go do good

The Diviners, by Margaret Laurence ('74) 

   (I was adopted -by Larry and Margaret- in '75)

synesthesia- syn (sin?) means 'joined', 'coupled'

a batty bat mitzvah;   going to a bar after a bar mitzvah

a fanta for Santa, grateful and faithful, an ode to soda, 

HH (heavy-handed); happy, healthy; heaven, hell; his, hers; holy, high

flea fly mosquito: flee a little mosque in an airplane

majesty, magic Jess T, magic stick

Feliz Navidad, Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday Jesus

Happy Hannukkah, Kwanzaa, too

God bless you (even if you didn’t just sneeze)

    They're all the same! I mean, if Jesus was a black jew...

Perfect

 Be Perfect as Your Father In Heaven is Perfect

 -Matthew 5:48

Cum inside a woman

Be happy

Be dead

Perfection

A perfect 10

J - esse (being 10)

   10th letter, essence in latin

    Like satan, or santa

No error, no fault, better than not bad

Better than good, better, best, even

Perfect, like a prefect

Without defect, or infection

Perfection, with a perfect chin

    Not a glass jaw

Perfection of P refection

Like, say, a sausage

Or a 7-up

Father, fat her, pregnant and fed well

Heaven, ave hen, happy in the earth (like a dirt bath)

    heave, ho

    In the gym, lifting weights

    Neva, eh?  Backwards 

Trivia

It’s all fun and games, until someone loses an eye

The devil is in the details

The deity is greater than the devil, so knows even more detail

Nothing is trivial to the Creator of all things

He’s a cool cat, that Deity

God wins at Jeopardy!, every time

He’s freaking omniscient, all right?

He even wrote the questions!

   ken Jennings, Caitlyn Jenner, and gentle Jennifer 

   genesis, genetics, gender, generation, gendarme

Who is God? Not me

and that’s truth, which is good, therefore godly

But I am a part of god, and god is a part of me

Never apart, but Never equivalent to

Mystics might disagree

Me and God in an MG

Rolling down the highway

God is my copilot

That’s how I roll

eucharist, that’s how Jesus (bread) rolls

Jesus, a jew, makes bread (and furniture)

Hey Zeus, what up?

"benevolent force wants you to know there's no reason to be afraid....ever"

on the other hand,

(malevolent movie? the Fly says, "be afraid.  be very afraid")

Just Breathe

 Everything Anybody Needs to Know, Always

Breathe.  Inhale, exhale.  When hungry, eat.  When thirsty, drink.  When tired, sleep.  When peckish, fuck.   When angry, fight.  When poor, work. When curious, research.  When bored, go to library.  Write, talk, create.  Visit with friends.  When out of shape, exercise.  When motivated to look beautiful, exercise.  In the face of aging, do daily maintenance.  Watch people, tv, movies, youtube, listen to music.   When you need a fix, travel, go to different religious services, take drugs.  Shower, swim, surf, feel clean.  Love life, do what you enjoy, play and dance and laugh and sing.  Hugs, kisses, massage, intimacy, ecstasy, love and romance, bliss.  Nap, meditate, do nothing, unplug, recharge, sit, walk, breathe, repeat.  Don’t fight. I was just kidding.  Fighting is dangerous and bad.  Be at peace. Drugs can be dangerous, too.  Beware.  Do whatever you want.  Be who you want to be.   :-)

visit, v is it

have over, vs. have under

enter, come in

variety is the spice of life

ingress, egress (reassess)

God brooks no evil

Gleanings from 'How to Walk'

By Thich Nhat Hanh

  Wok, wake, whack, wick, week, Herman Wouk 

  Walk, wok, Mil-wauk-ee

  Tick tock, tiktok, and Thich talk

  Nhat, not, knot, -naut

  Hanh, Han, Hon(da)

  Wa king, baby goes waaah; way king

  Med te (tea), shun

  BMW, breath -meditate, mindfulness, math- walk

op, own pace;  “stop running the useless race”

Surf the urf, birth and death, it is good

Head in clouds, feet solidly on Earth

Tag you’re it: thanks appreciation gratitude, 

   aware of being alive, the miracle of being alive

Earth is heaven, you’ve Already Arrived, baby steps (eh, AA, bs)

    Bible study, supreme being, bullshit, beauty and serenity, steps/breath

    SD into the HAN, sink deeply into hear and nao

Solid like Akasha and Enkil (kasha food, ankle), bone/rigor mortis

   Count steps, breaths; counters and countries

    swole like an engorged Thich

3rd rock from the sun, cement concrete asphalt pavement

Sol ID, sun/son, identity (silence of lambs, statue of liberty)

   Soul identity, Earth is a place in space, our sole purpose

The present is pre-sent, aim: to arrive in the moment, peace + serenity

HAN, here and now, heal and nourish, life is a precious miracle

   PM, present moment (gift from mom!), practice meditation, mindfulness

   Chinese nights, knights, evenings (han pm) (han are 92% of china)

   Enjoy every step! Like it, love it (same for sitting), increase the peace

Have fun, play, joy of discovery, disco, dance, minister of silly walks

Discover each moment, enjoy walking (elizabeth warren democrat)

Give a little (like when you walk on the earth), service

meditations, reveries, stories, instruction, speech, writings

breathing, sitting, walking with mindfulness, concentration, insight

Peace, love, and happiness, joy, bliss, harmony, sovereignty, freedom

    equanimity, compassion, contentment, abiding calm, stillness

    Gratitude for every breath, air, oxygen, life, pleasantness

Arrive with every step (awes! Oz?), soft-spoken, super-strength, sacred space

    steps, stairs, stability, strength, solidity (and the still suffering)

Mother Nature (the moment is our true home), Mother Earth, birth/adoptive

The Big N: Nirvana, N-lightenment, our Nature, Now

vibes reverberate, what we say and do, thoughts words actions

Sure pleasure, ATT all the time, JEW just enjoy walking, RR respect reverence

ELF, everyone lives forever, energy love fun, excitement laughter feeling

FDC, FDIC: final destination is the cemetary; FDA (food, drink, air)

pims, peace in each moment,

Go Slow - Belize motto, vs. NYC (and Russia?), running (for office, say)

McD, mindfulness concentration smile, what goes up MCD; cultivate (V8!)

DC, sometimes difficult and contentious, challenging 

Cultivating your cult, harmonize your intentions with actions, self with others

joy isn’t always just spontaneous, requires practice, repetition

Gratitude by way of contrast: not homeless, in quicksand, dead..

   Or in the far reaches of cold, dark, inhospitable outer space

Insight, inside yourself, inside rooms/buildings/cells, into others

    apb, appreciate the peace and beauty (in the spacetime of here-now)

    Pd, practice and determination, buddha dharma sangha

    The past is a prison

     No Fear

Internal diagnostic, like star trek’s data + external SSTTH

    See, hear, smell, taste, touch (sensei senses)

        C/sea/si, early, Mel, ouch;  inhale/exhale, internal/external

AHA! alive, happy, awake; part of Nature (rain, plants, trees, oxygen)

  alive, awake, aware, happy, healthy, here (and At Home Anywhere)

Unpleasant, continuing destruction, anger, fear, agitation, anxiety, sorrow

  hurt, curse, cry, terror, sadness, worries, despair, discontent, suffering, dukkha

BM, body and mind, PP, power and potential

POE, peace on earth, and goodwill toward men (and women, boys, girls)

Transform where you are walking into Paradise

Act of walking, with mindful steps, waters the seeds of peace inside us

grounded, peace, piece, pieces, RIP, xx, dead

Ancestors are animals, plants, minerals (map!)

FB, Facebook and the feet of the Buddha, shoes to fill

IOS, inner/outer smile

A long walk (time, distance)

Walk for self, others; those in past, future; alive and dead;

   With brain and heart, from dust to dust

Walking home, come home to yourself (like a turtle!)

Paradise is all around you, right under your feet, and within

   Be yourself, do what comes naturally, what makes you happy

god, go out doors;  breath is chemical exchange with plants

   integrated with, dependent on nature; not separate

anyone, anywhere can make steps in awareness, toward liberty, freedom

  In no rush, no hurry, not a race: slow, relaxed, and calm

steps, stepping stones, steppes, 12 step program, 

   and stopping/steep, church steeples (capitol hill, city hall)

Get high, climb, ascend, (altitude, hierarchy, out of bed, foot with each step, over the hill)

Steps and pets, ups and downs, coming and going, gains and loss

The beautiful path (war is ugly), mom gives milk, bandaids, kisses

I dwell in the ultimate (the most, the last)

christ's chrucifiction on the chross

integrity, walk what you talk, practice what you peach

for me, less/no meat:  lesson!

     sole porpoise, ha (a wish for fish on my dish), mission: nutrition

inquiry into Incan and Inkatha ink (Tatts)

ink: kink, sink, drink, think, stink, link, pink, mink, rink, blink, wink, zinc

binky, dinky toys, stu finkel, tinker toys