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Welcome!

I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 51) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2200 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

A thought

All is vanity
God is everything
everything is all
God is vanity
I am

Friday, December 18, 2009

PMS

Productive Member of Society

Produce! Produce!
Make stuff!

also,
phonology, morphology, syntax
pre menstrual syndrome

Thursday, December 3, 2009

God's Apology

If I am omnipotent, I apologize for not using my power(s) well enough.

At the moment,
I'm stuck at home watching/listening to television. I feel kind of ugh about this.
Oh, well.

I maintain that everybody else has the same amount of power that I do.
I kind of doubt this, though.
Oh, well.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Dogechism of the Dogholic Church

It's not all about Cats, anymore

Honda stole our intellectual property: Mr. O
That's what we had been calling Oliver. I also call him Olly, O.G., or oliguacho
(guacamole and nachos, yum)
(guapo y macho, tambien)

Pay up, Honda. Or should I say, H.

Our other dog is Marcel.

Athe is M

Hat is me

I was an atheist until I believed in myself

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Church is for the Dogs

Dog and God have the same letters for a reason, you know

Sometimes I think my dog Oliver is God.
Maybe it's Marcel, though.
OMG
Or some mystic communion, thereof.

In any case, all dogs go to heaven
except for Tia, the little shit(zu), who bit me, lol.

Here's a link to an article about a church that offers services for our fine furry friends.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Erich Fromm's The Art of Loving

This book from my local library, copyright 1956, says "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."

"The deepest need of man is the need to overcome his separateness, to leave the prison of his aloneness." How to achieve union, overcome separateness, transcend one's own individual life, is the human condition, the answers to which form the history of religion and philosophy.

some quotes

"all (the reader's) attempts for love are bound to fail, uless he tries most actively to develop his total personality....; that satisfaction in individual love cannot be attained without the capacity to love one's neighbor, without true humility, courage, faith, and discipline."

He considers love a difficult and rarely seen task; an art, like that of living life itself, of which mastery must be of ultimate concern. Love is not something like a pleasant sensation, or crazy infatuation, which one "falls" into, by chance (which may only prove the degree of preceding loneliness).

A typically seen error is that most people focus on being loved, rather than loving. It's not a matter of being successful, rich, powerful, attractive, with pleasant manners, good conversation, helpful, modest, inoffensive, according to the positive mantra of books like "how to win friends and influence people." Being lovable is typically seen as a mix of being popular and having sex appeal.

Another error is love as symbiotic union, in which they need each other in a sadistic or masochistic way, a situation of dominance and submission, in fact "I am nothing in so much as I am part of him." Neither can live without the other. The sadist commands, exploits, hurts, humiliates.

Instead, what love is is a mature union under the condition of preserving one's integrity. In love, the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two. It is never the result of a compulsion. It consists primarily of joyful giving, not receiving. Giving is the highest expression of potency, of experiencing strength, wealth, and power.

Love is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines how one relates to the world as a whole, not toward one "object" of love. If I truly love one person I love all persons, I love the world, I love life. I love in you also myself.

Common to all forms of love are the elements of care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.

Link to the Wikipedia article on the book.

Forms of love
-a mother's love for her child. responsibility means being able to respond.
-love between adults refers mainly to the psychic needs of the other person.
the root of respect, respicere=to look at, is the ability to see a person as he is, to be aware of his unique individuality.
-the other person should grow and unfold as he is, not as I need him to be.
respect only exists on the basis of freedom, never domination. Respecting a person is not possible without knowing him, and knowledge would be empty if not motivated by concern.
-The knowledge which is an aspect of love penetrates to the core, not just the superficial periphery. Love knows people deeply; for example you may see someone angry as manifesting something deeper, such as anxiety or embarrassment.

6 kinds of love
parental love
-motherly love
-fatherly love
romantic love
brotherly love
erotic love
self-love
love of God

love of knowledge can become cruel, "to know what life really is" in the words of a Russian officer. Violence. The desire to know can be stilled by sexual union. "I find myself, I discover myself, I discover us both, I discover man." Know thyself, the Delphic motto. ..to know, in the biblical sense.. masturbation.

In the love between man and woman, each of them is reborn.

The polarity between male and female exists within each person, as well as between the couple. The male and female poles have an attraction in character, as well as sexually (like yin and yang)
People compensate sexually for what they lack in character.

Freud saw love as an animal instinct born of chemically produced tension, whereas Fromm maintains a need for love and union.

childhood
unconditional love for Simply Being, vs. earned love for doing
A mature person becomes his own mother and father, as it were, with both consciences incorporated within him.
Neuroses develop if one dominates..

i.e.
mother-oriented
dependant on mother, to be taken care of. lack of independence, discipline. (hysteria, alcoholism, inability to assert oneself and cope with life realistically, depression)
vs.
father-oriented
given to the principles of law, order, and authority, and lacking an ability fo expect or to receive unconditional love. obsessions are typical.

love the stranger (for you were strangers in the land of Egypt)
brotherly love between equals, helping those in need

motherly love for survival and growth, but also a love of life, "it is good!"
the promised land flows with milk and honey (the sweetness of life)
-babies should not be given honey, literally, of course-
can be narcissistic or a need for power/possession.

-Man needs to feel as the creator, as one transcending the passive role of being created.
-Mother transcends self in the infant, her love gives her life meaning and significance.
-Mothers need to know when to urge the child in the process of separation.
-"A woman can become a truly loving mother only if she can love; if she is able to love her husband, other children, strangers, all human beings."

erotic love
is pershaps the most deceptive form of love there is
is by nature exclusive, not universal
is the sudden collapse of the barriers which existed until that moment between two strangers
physical want can be mistaken for love
without brotherly love, is only union in an orgiastic, transitory sense
can make couples ashamed of, or even hate, each other, when the illusion is gone.
the exclusiveness can enlarge the single individual into two, an egotism a deux;

Because they are separated from the rest of mankind, they remain separated from each other and alienated from themselves; their experience of union is an illusion.

In essence, all human beings are identical. We are part of One; we are One. It should not make any difference whom we love. Love should essentially be an act of will.

It is a decision, a judgement, a promise.

Love thyself. It's not a selfish thing to do. The selfish person hates himself. "The selfish person is interested only in himself, wants everything for himself, feels no pleasure in giving, but only in taking."

Love of God
there are matriarchal and patriarchal religions.
God becomes Justice, Love, and Truth in mature monotheistic religions, of which God is
the nameless One.
"God is I, inasmuch as I am human."

"The truly religious person does not pray for anything, does not expect anything from God; he has acquired the humility of sensing his limitations, to the degree of knowing that he knows nothing about God. He considers all of his life only valuable inasmusch as it gives him the chance to arrive at an ever fuller unfolding of his human powers- as the only reality that matters, as the only object of ultimate concern; and, eventually, he does not speak about God- nor even mention his name. To love God, if he were to use the word, would mean, then, to long for the attainment of the full capacity to love, for the realization of that which "God" stands for in oneself.

Paradoxical logic from eastern religions is important to him, as thought can only lead us to the knowledge that it (thought) cannot give us the ultimate answer.

The only way knowledge can be grasped ultimately lies, not in thought, but in the act, in the experience of oneness. (with God)

Right way of living.
dogma and science are mental.
love of God can be a thought experience, or a mystical, intense feeling of oneness.

"If therefore I am changed into God and He makes me one with Himself, then, by the living God, there is no distinction between us..." -Meister Eckhart
and
"By loving God, I penetrate him."

discipline, concentration, patience, supreme concern
are required to become the ultimate lover...
You must practice DCP in all that you do.
You must have a sense of I=myself, as the center of my powers, as the creator of my world.
He recommends 20 minute concentration exercises in the morning and every evening before going to bed (sitting in a relaxed position, closing eyes, removing interfering pictures and thoughts, following one's breathing).
Avoid trivial conversation and bad company (because their orbit is poisonous and depressing)
...and also zombies, people whose soul is dead, who chatter, and who assert cliches.
Live in the here and now.
Be sensitive to yourself, one's bodily processes, like a mother to her baby..

The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's Narcissism (when one only experiences that which exists within oneself), and becoming as Objective as possible.

With faith in one's own convictions, rationally based on one's own experience of thought or feeling.

Having faith in another person means to be certain of the unchangeability of his fundamental attitudes, of his love, of his basic motivations remaining the same. (Fromm uses the male gender, you may have noticed)

Faith in mankind, is the culmination of faith in others. The basis of rational faith is Productiveness. Faith and power are mutually exclusive. Power is unstable. The faith in power (the willingness to throw away life because one is incapable of loving it) is the opposite of faith in life.

Loving requires faith and courage. To take the difficulties, setbacks, and sorrows of life as a challenge which must be overcome makes us stronger, rather than as unjust punishment which should not happen to us.

Don't be afraid to love, to be loved, to be loving.

"Important and radical changes to our social structure are necessary if love is to become a social and not a highly individualistic, marginal phenomenon. SOciety must be organized in such a way that man's social, loving nature is not separated from his social existence, but becomes one with it. To have faith in the possibility of love as a social and not only exceptional-individual phenomenon, is a rational faith based on the insight into the very nature of man."

How I feel sometimes

Innocence, but Gr

Saturday, November 14, 2009

James Nachtwey, war photographer

Check out his site, http://www.jamesnachtwey.com/

Remember how lucky (or blessed, if that's your belief) you are,
and
Keep your priorities balanced...

I could be at an all you can eat at Sizzler tonight.
I watched the documentary 'War Photographer' instead.

We should all be allowed to enjoy life, and feel good about the choices we make.

It is estimated that you can save a life for every 3 dollars donated to UNICEF, because there are so many people dying from poverty (the inability to pay for cheap lifesaving medicines). So donate a hundred bucks and save 30 children's lives!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Happy Halloween

My wife says I am a bad person

probably for several reasons. She fell asleep in bed and says I "yelled" at her. She says that alot, when in my view, I just raise my voice. I can't recall ever actually yelling at her. I'm still bad, though: She asked me recently would I receive a million dollars if I knew someone would die because of it, and I said yes.


I mean, you'd be set for life with a mil, no?

and the environmentalists keep saying there's too many people for a sustainable world.

and what ARE people actually worth?
Let's see, I'm 38 and say I have 70 years ahead of me. 365x70x x

25,550x

That's about 39.20 per day

Are people, writ large, worth that much? 6.7B ppl
Probably more, in fact, I'm guessing.
All the money in the world, right now, totals to:

US dollars:
M0=908.6B
M1(cash plus checking)=1,655.6B
M2(+money mkt accounts, savings, and cd's)=$8,326.8 billion
M3(plus large cd's)=10.3T

The public funds injected into the economy total about 11T.
No one online knows? what a mess.

10 bucks a day seems like it should be sufficient.
I bought a Haagen-Dazs everyday on that, when that was my allowance.

boo!

Relevant Wikipedia info:
Gross world product (GWP) is the total gross national product of all the countries in the world. This also equals the total gross domestic product. See measures of national income and output for more details. The per capita GWP in 2008 was approximately $10,500 US dollars (USD). The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), in their Third Assessment Report (TAR), predicts a maximum per-capita gross world product in 2100 of approximately $140,000 (in year 2000 dollars). Sometimes term Gross Planetary Product (GPP) is also used for same concept.[

So 6.7 Billion multiplied by 10,500 dollars is the GPP (in dollars).
That's 70.35T (or $70,350,000,000,000 USD)
That's around $28.77 a day.

A mil is about the price of 95 years, then.

but wait, there's smore's:
There's this bit of economic data to wrap your head around-

"Although precise data is not available, the total household wealth in the world has been estimated at $125 trillion in year 2000. 90% of this wealth is held by people in North America, Europe, and high-income Asian countries, and 1% of adults are estimated to hold 40% of world wealth, a number which falls to 32% when adjusted for purchasing power parity.[4]"

So, I ask you, playing devil's advocate, what would you do with 130T dollars, lol?
What's 125T divided by 6.7B? 125,000/6.7=18,676 usd.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Changing the World vs. Changing the Self

I'm quite pleased with myself as I am
(for better or worse)

Here's a quote from the 12-step program entitled,
ACCEPTANCE

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. (Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;) unless I accept life on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
-p.449 "Big Book"

Frankly, I will tell you straight up: I HATE this paragraph/quote. Loathe it, despise it, abominate it, execrate it, abhor..HATE IT.

Don't get me wrong: it is good to be serene. And if believing this is the only way for serenity, well so be it. BUT...

I will never accept the evil in this world. And neither should anyone. Acceptance is not the answer to anyone's problems. If you accept evil, you are evil. So just do a good turn daily, as the Scouting for boys program says. As long as "making a difference" is an acronym for M.A.D., I'll be insane in that sense til the day I die, unrepentant.

There is no God in the sense of an "owner of reality" from whom there are no mistakes. That is complete bullshit, and I think everyone with a sound mind should agree with me. I can only refer you to the photograph which I have posted earlier on my blog which scars the psyches of all who view it, link. You call that reality good?? Even God makes mistakes. I do. It's a big mess, and probably always will be, but that doesn't mean one shouldn't do one's utmost to make the best of any and all situations.

Fixing Africa (and all the rest) is a doable human achievement, you know.

God, whether (Reality/Nature/TheUniverse/Everything/Love/Me/You/Everyone..) is simply a way of making good of an indifferent, if not frankly malicious universe, as "the cards" may perhaps be, as dealed to You. So some hypnosis is in order, and we inherit beliefs that help us cope. I sure hope I/this blog can help you cope. It's helping me, I think.

Anyway, in the battle of changing yourself vs. the world, why not Both? Just like billiard balls, every contact changes the paths of both balls.

MIB stands for Men In Black, who deal with outer space aliens, just as the Universe itself can be considered Malicious, Indifferent, or Benevolent (through the will of these beings?)

Maybe there is an "owner of reality." I'm not buying it, lol. If it's anyone, I guess it's me. Must I buy my own bullshit? I don't own any bulls, and if I did I wouldn't value Michael Jordan's poo.
(sorry, that was uncalled for).

Oh, and Teshara anagrams to 'as earth', remember?

I realize I have a problem. I may not be schizophrenic according to the DSM IV sense any more, (the annoying telepathy is waning), but i still have a bifurcated morality that says it is good to hate as well as love, which in common language might describe a schizophrenic (two-faced) perspective. But the hate comes from a place of love...the hate is subsumed, created by the love...maybe it really is all good, every cause has it's effect. Perhaps that picture will catalyze the global revolution!

My "revolution" is simply a happy life and basic needs met for all humanity, intelligently planned to be sustainable, too.

Anyway, I know evil exists, though -because murder can be a hobby, a twisted exercise for the sole purpose of sport, for fun -humans being just animals- the most dangerous game.
I'll stop now.

David Whyte's Poem

and Commentary, by yours truly

Poem
It doesn't interest me if there is one God or many gods. I want to know if you belong or feel abandoned. If you can know despair or see it in others.

I want to know if you are prepared to live in the world with its harsh need to change you. If you can look back with firm eyes saying, "This is where I stand."

I want to know if you know how to melt into that fierce heat of living falling toward the center of your longing.

If you are prepared to live, day by day, with the consequence of love and the bitter unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even the gods speak of God.
--------------------------------

okay, my wife read this aloud, and it gelled a bit for me.
here's my take on the parts I didn't get at first (fierce heat of living, falling toward..,consequence of love and bitter/sure defeat)

there is both one God and many, it's the same thing: God is everything. The same love permeates all. I belong. I have abandoned others, but not in a too horrible way, I would say, and in the same way, others have abandoned me. I don't consider myself a magnetic personality, exactly. No matter, I value my solitude. I have missed being in more social environments like schools or workplaces. I wonder if I will be "well" enough soon to return. I can both see despair in others and know it myself. I CAN deal with a world's harsh need to change me: for example, to submit (my pride is not all-consuming, although I'll admit it's close). Falling toward the center of my longing... I have a longing for a better world, but I know from my own psychological genesis, that the dark side is here to stay, so to speak. Creation entails destruction, for example. Zealotry for good entails hatred of the bad. I know how to melt into the fierce heat of living -say a wild sexual life- but I'd rather just work quietly on my blog, a companion to Sara. I'm supposed to live a calm and tranquil life, not the life of Batman or whatever, lol. The consequences of love are vulnerability....sure defeat would be death, I imagine. A broken heart can be cruelly sad.

The "bitter unwanted passion of your sure defeat" refers to the fact that there will never be a perfect world, for either a utopian heavenly ideal of universal love or, conversely, a world of anarchy, without laws, where everyone enforces their own idea of justice (if these ideas even clash, actually, lol). Anyway, I'm right where I want to be, and I'll be defeated by time or tomorrow's headlines or some other disappointment, of course, in any case, and so it goes.

I'm not buying into this supposed fact that I have to embrace an unwanted passion of sure defeat as part of being in love. Love is sufficient. A dull, boring, everday, conversant, friendly, kindly, kind of love. "Passion" is the code word for Jesus on the cross, or people dying for a cause, or what truly makes people tick. I'm happy to know a little bit more each day, being a significant other, and entertaining the possibility that my simple pleasures might actually not have to ever end. I'm 38, I plan to become stronger and more fit, and maybe have (a kid/kids) in the not too distant future. That's good enough for me. Life has it's drama, comedy and tragedy alike, sometimes in unequal measure. I, too, am a god who believes in God. (I'll let you wonder what I mean by that :-)

Monday, October 19, 2009

Wherever I Go

There I am

I am a turtle. I AM my own home. I occupy myself.

I am sane.
My home was San Francisco. Now I live in San Ity. Sane City.
I have the sanity of a manatee.
If I ever swim in a European river, I might be In the Seine.

Yeah, whatever, nevermind. Thanks for the meme, Kurt.
Justice, just ice?

But, seriously folks. I'm not insane. That's a legal category.
Mentally ill? I'm diagnosed (with/as having) schizo-affective disorder.
That means I am (that is to say, occasionally am, I guess) psychotic.

What's my Psychosis/psychoses?

a mental disorder characterized by symptoms, such as delusions or hallucinations, that indicate impaired contact with reality. any severe form of mental disorder, as schizophrenia or paranoia.

Not in touch with reality. Maybe I'm in touch with Reality, lol.

I have an occasional voice in my head. It's going away. The madness, I hope, is receding.
There's a lot to be mad at, of course. But I guess I'll happily do my thing, even as the world seems mired in a world of shit, and that's the only way of sanity, all cheerfully jesus loving and shit. Seriously, though, fuck you David, you sick fuck. From now on, stop talking to me, alright?

Excuse my french.

Aggressive v. Respectful Atheism

Here's a link to an article i found on npr today: link

It's weird, but everybody's right.

The highly religious can be integrated into the highly atheist, if you try hard enough (we're talking about the same reality, after all).

Everybody is their own G/g od , even if they hypnotize themselves that god is an (External) higher power.

Furthermore, I've come to see that consciousness pervades everything, and we call that everything God. The Universe, consciousness bestowed-on, is God. We can call this universe indifferent, or we can program it to be beneficial or loving or what have you. Likewise, any small piece of which, from ourselves to a grain of sand or something, can be considered a microcosm of that greater reality, because space is something that a mathematical bent of mind can easily view as being both finite and infinite.

I see it as infinite. And actually, I recognize "the force" in everyday life. For example, I rode my bike toward an oncoming car while crossing a street, but I felt like I had to stop, which I credit to possibly saving my life. One could call that God. Just like the voice in my head, or my dog, or the breeze (as it moves over the face of the deep).

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Sarah Silverman on feeding the hungry

Here's the excerpt from the article about Sarah Silverman's attempt at comedy regarding the Vatican selling all it's property/holdings to feed the poor.

"the "Catholic Church operates more hospitals and feeds more of the poor than any private institution in the world."

Yet the Rev. James Martin, culture editor of the Jesuit magazine America, says Silverman may be onto something. In an online article, Martin noted that Jesus himself told his followers to sell what they had and give it to the poor.

"Of course Pope Benedict XVI could not 'sell' any of the treasures of the Vatican, the same way that your local archbishop couldn't sell off the cathedral at a whim; they are not his, they are the church's," Martin wrote. "And the church is not simply the hierarchy but the entire people of God."

he added: "Still, perhaps Ms. Silverman, in her postmodern, potty-mouthed way is on to something. Like Jesus was. Sell the Vatican? Well, maybe not everything but perhaps a statue or two?"

For the record, the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization, which just released its annual report on the state of world hunger, says global food output will have to increase by 70 percent to feed a projected population of 9.1 billion in 2050.

To achieve that, poor countries will need $44 billion in annual agricultural aid, compared with the current $7.9 billion, the Rome-based FAO said. Overall, an annual net investment in agriculture of $83 billion is needed to feed the world.

Even if the pope were to sell the Vatican, it wouldn't be enough.

In 2004, the Vatican disclosed that the Holy See's real estate was worth 700 million euros, or about $908 million at the time. That doesn't include St. Peter's Basilica and the Sistine Chapel, which the Vatican termed priceless and valued at a symbolic 1 euro.

It would fetch a pretty penny, lol. How many pretty pennies are there in 1 euro?

I have to admit that the above statistics don't make sense to me or sit well with me. I don't believe a global population of 3 billion MORE people (from the 6ish or so now) would require 70% more output. In fact, with the amount of waste, I wonder if the 3B could be fed on current expenditure. If humanity were to go vegetarian, for example, how much would THAT save? Or, if seaweed, and peanut butter or what have you...inexpensive diets can be designed to meet the nutritional requirements of the world, no? If all the american land that was devoted to front lawns, for example, or the lack of -such as the japanese- modern urban gardening, were switched to food, that would help a bunch. Is the Vatican buying into these stats, or what? 70% more output, REALLY?? How hard might this be, with modified seeds and advanced biology, etc. Also, does the church have a better view of 2050 than anyone else? They have the Holy See, after all, whatever that is.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Ugh

Well, my chief angel up here in heaven let me down a bit, you could say

I feel numb and malicious. Dull, like the gray day, and seriously whatever to anything, except the continuing stupidity and madness of all the shit around me, which I occasionally pipe up to put a word of protest in to restore some sanity to this occasional shithole of worthlessness.

So it goes, as they say.

Well, whatever. Life goes on.
I have to be up at 5:30am tomorrow morning, for my 2 hour and 20 minute ride to Vallejo. What if God was one of us, just a stranger on a bus...

Goodnite, and lots of nightmares or sweet dreams or whatever the hell you're inclined to enjoy more.

Zzz, Sleep Well

Not too much and Not too little, but Just Right

I think everyone should wake up rested and refreshed, naturally, every day. Like to the cock's crow or whatever, say sunshine beaming on your face, not some crazy alarm clock that you smack to death every morning, possibly in the midst of a really interesting dream.

Anyway, according to the National Sleep Foundation, only about half of adults in the U.S. get a good night's sleep every night. Lost sleep links to poor work perfomrance, auto accidents, relationship difficulties, and anger/depression.

Maybe you only need 5 hours, and you think you need 9 or something. Seriously.

Good God is Good Love

Healthy Love vs. Addictive Love
Relationship Assessment
(with god, others, a significant other, yourself, or whatever)

If God is Love, God can be Addictive or God can be, on the other hand, well, Healthy.

Healthy Love
-allows for individuality, energizes
-experiences and enjoys both oneness with and separateness from partner
-brings out the best qualities in both partners
-accepts endings
-experiences openness to change, exploration
-invites growth in both partners
-experiences deep intimacy
-experiences freedom to ask honestly for what is wanted
-experiences giving and receiving as one, the giving is conditional same
-does not attempt to change or control the partner
-encourages self-sufficiency of partner
-accepts limitations of self and partner
-does not insist on unconditional love/ is unconditional love
-can make and honor commitments, anti-dependency
-has high self esteem and sense of well-being
-trust memory of beloved; enjoys solitude
-expresses feelings spontaneously
-welcomes closeness, risks vulnerability
-cares, but can remain detatched
-affirms equality, personal power of self, partner

Addictive Love (are you addicted to God?)
-Feels all consuming or energy draining
-difficulty defining ego boundaries
-has elements of sadomasochism
-fears letting go
-fears risk, change, the unknown
-allows little individual growth
-lacks deep intimacy
-manipulates to get needs met
-gives to get something back
-attempts to change or control the partner
-needs partner to feel complete
-seeks solution outside of self
-demands and expects unconditional love
-refuses or abuses commitment
-looks to partner for affirmation, worth
-fears abandonment upon routine separation
-re-creates familiar negative feelings
-desires, yet fears, closeness
-attempts to "take care" of partners feelings
-plays power games ("one upmanship")

this is from a worksheet that has you tally 0 for never, 1 for rarely, 2 for sometimes, 3 for often, 4 for almost always, and 5 for always, so you can score yourself.

Are you an addict?
You might as well face it, you're addicted to love.
Maybe everyone should go through the breakdown on love, instead of simply saying Love, love, love...make love not war, or whatever. Dig a little deeper.

Some POW's

Pearls of Wisdom, that is

On Time, and carpe diem (seize the day)

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with 86,400 dollars. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever balance went unspent. What would you do?
You'd draw out every penny, of course.

Each of us has such a bank, it's name is TIME

Every morning, you have 86,400 seconds to "spend".

You must live in the present on today's deposits. You should invest it so as to get the utmost in health, happiness, and success. The clock is running. Make the most of Today.

Remember, time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history
tomorrow is a mystery
today is a gift, that's why it's called the Present.

To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who won the silver and not the gold at the Olympics.

And a year would be 365x 86,400. What's that? a lot of seconds.

Y&T

Rock On!

Actually, this is a poem entitled 'Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow'

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with it mistakes and cares, it's faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed foreer beyond our control.

All the mony in the wolrd cannot bring nack yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed, we canot erase a sing word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with its possible adversaries, its burdens, its large and poor perfomrance. Tomorrow is also beyon our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds-but it will rise. Until it does, we have not stake in Tomorrow, for it is as yuet unborn.

This leaves only one day...Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is only when you and I add the Y esterday and Tomorrow taht we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives people mad-it is remores or bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefor, live but one day at a time.

Boo! Duh. Happy Halloween.

I'm changing into a fat chub-chub for Halloween.

I weigh 225 pounds, the most I've ever been. Rub my Buddha belly, y'all.

Seriously, I need to exercise and watch the intake frequency and quantity and quality.

I'm reading about the Soka Gokkai thing, and I'd say it's not half-bad.
Except for the part about how easy it seems to be to get enlightened paired with the phrase if you meet the buddha, kill the buddha. That reminds me of the christian thing about being christlike, which would seem to entail self-sacrifice. I'm all about the (vulcan, is it) live long and prosper! I love life, and hope to enjoy lots of it.

I need to lose weight. I've got a lot of it in the worst area, my belly. I like sweets. I've got 4 cavities. Geez, louise. I've had "death by chocolate" ice cream, and I've heard of phrases like "sickly sweet" and "killing with kindness." I'm not sure what to make of it all.

Kyo

"sound" (or teaching)

Should we consider all sound as something instructive?

Again with the nmrk (Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo). Kyo is the lotus-sutra's title, and "the language of the Buddha" It's "the ultimate invocation of life" Simply by chanting, we experience the energy and wisdom to make our lives fulfilled.

Our prayers are communicated into the depths of our being through the chant/when we invoke the sound of the mystic law. We "bring forth" from within ourselves.

It says "the only issue is whether we can create value in our lives and help others do the same."
We seek to fulfill our desires, and resolve our conflicts.

Peace, out.
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo!

Renge

This means lotus blossom in sanskrit, I believe

It encapsulates the reality of the mystic law, because it represents

-the dynamic of flow (nothing stays the same). (a lotus blossom is located in water)

-this particular flower seeds and blooms at the same time, representing the simultanaity of cause and effect. (causes are TWA: thoughts, words, and actions, which set the stage for when the time comes later in the right environmental circumstances to manifest the reality of these twa's) "Each cause registers an effect in the depths of life."

-out from the muck and mire, the lotus blossom produces beauty. loveliness.
(boy, you can say that again) Let's hear it for Blossom (and bubbles, and buttercup)

It's this last part of it that stands out primarily to me. I see a lot of potential in A LOT of muck and mire.

ANyway, NMRK. The SGI would remind you that the ENTIRE phrase holds the key. "Chanting nam-myoho-renge-kyo is the deepest cause we can make in order to achieve our desired effect"
(It's Nichiren Daishonin's version of Jesus's Our Father)

Myoho

Mystic Law

The nam-myoho-renge-kyo statement, refrain, chant, whatever IS the mystic law. Life gets better when you tune into the SGI wavelength, no? (if that's what's happening)

The mystic law is a mysterious mystery of mysticism, lol. It's ineffable, incomprehensible. "The mind cannot comprehend, and words cannot possibly express.." Life transcends concepts of existence or nonexistence, it says. It is the Middle Way that is the ultimate reality.

This sounds right, I have to say. Humans can be zombie-ish, and a piece of art, for example, can come alive. It's the whole vampire thing, and being drained vs. Ful-filled?

myo is the mystic nature of life
ho is it's manifestations

Nam

Nam means devotion

"By devoting our lives to this law (myoho) through our faith, practice, and study, we will awaken the life-condition of Buddha, or enlightenment, inside ourselves.

NMRK
(Nam-myoho-renge-kyo)

Sara and I actually own an SGI Gohonzon..

-nam is the shortened form of Namu.

Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

This phrase, or mantra, is what governs life eternally throughout the universe. Say it a couple times, let it sink in. Feel better?

You're supposed to.

The Soka Gokkai International promote this form of Buddhism, and I was introduced to it while incarcerated.

NMRK (or Nam-myoho-renge-kyo) stands for devotion, mystic law, lotus blossom, sound. The phrase itself IS the mystic law. Kinda bizarre and cool, huh?

Sara was into it for a couple months of her life, awhile back, and our house has a shrine, containing the scroll with the mantra and some other wow (words of wisdom) in it (incomprehensible, however, in sanskrit or chinese or whatever).

It's possibly the world's most simple religion. I like that.

It's all about having a winning life (like life is a competition). Whatever. But still, the introductory pamphlet describes having the power to face and surmount our deepest problems.

Life can beat you down, so I suppose you have to beat down life in return, to be/stay on top.

The pamphlet promises an inner transformation, requiring a basic change in our hearts and character- an inner revolution of freedom, happiness, and harmony with others.

You know, I just saw a music video of Michael Jackson yesterday, and I was amazed at his glow of absolute happiness, during the video, as his body pulsed freely and intensely to the track. It was intense what that guy could project. I was blown away. I guess this kind of thing might be what the SGI is talking about.

I was swimming in Michael Jackson's water, and I felt buoyed.

I say that because this funky religion makes no distinction between a person and his/her environment. (One is the source for the other, for better or worse)

This Buddhist form doesn't espouse an eradication of desires. Instead, you're supposed, through faith, to "magnetize" your dream(s) toward yourself. Receiving your desires is described as having "rocket fuel" toward your enlightenment, in which you become a Buddha, or share in Buddhahood.

Buddhism, it says, is the practice that allows us to access the traits that allow us to tackle every problem or challenge that confronts us, and win.

See, religion is kind of like football, lol.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo
Peace!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Hi, World

Well, I'm back from a brief hiatus.

Upon briefly reviewing some of my more recent posts, I see how I've been a bit loony, you might say (or at least came off that way). I'm in the process of working on that, and rejoining the rational in the land of logic and eloquence.

I'm on really good medications, and socializing daily with really good people, so my Godliness can take a form less rude, crude, and unacceptable. 137! lol.

Seriously, my madness is receding, as Pink Floyd might say, and I'm able to tolerate what I formerly would call the evilness of television.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Some Native American Wisdom

With commentary

http://www.infoplease.com/spot/native-american-proverbs-wisdom.html

regarding quotes, it's pick and choose.
if you believe it, it's the truth (for you),
until critical thinking or another quote comes along.

-Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. - Hopi. I agree with this. Get it all out, and be done with it.

on crying
Babies can cry whenever they want because they can't talk. People cry for sadness, grief, happiness, pain, and acting/crocodile tears...often to manipulate (or if there's something in their eye). Did I miss anything? Issues should be resolved, and I agree people should cry as little as possible, even if that means crying nonstop for a week, and drinking water just to refill your glass. Being a wreck for awhile is acceptable, til you can get your feces together. Maybe that's not the best advice.

It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand. - Apache.
That's the same as our quote, walk softly but carry a big stick.

Immortality (or another generation, anyway)
They are not dead who live in the hearts they leave behind. - Tuscarora
-this quote gives life to the Tuscarora, as a matter of fact (I'd never heard of them b4).

If we wonder often, the gift of knowledge will come. - Arapaho
lifelong learning is answering the questions of your youth finally as you age. I have quite a backlog, myself. I love the internet. For instance, I wondered about seedless watermelons.

listen all y'all it's sabotauge:
The weakness of the enemy makes our strength. - Cherokee
The art of war is deception, don't forget, too. That's the hardcore shit.

Force, no matter how concealed, begets resistance. - Lakota
For no resistance, use no force, then, right? Jedi police be damned.

He who would do great things should not attempt them all alone. - Seneca
Yes WE can. You and me and Barack make three.

A brave man dies but once, a coward many times. - Iowa
It takes a mightily brave man to die repeatedly, however, I would add.
Born again?

Jesus in space?

quote on time-travel from Wikipedia:

There are various ways in which a person could "travel into the future" in a limited sense: the person could set things up so that in a small amount of his own subjective time, a large amount of subjective time has passed for other people on Earth. For example, an observer might take a trip away from the Earth and back at relativistic velocities, with the trip only lasting a few years according to the observer's own clocks, and return to find that thousands of years had passed on Earth. It should be noted, though, that according to relativity there is no objective answer to the question of how much time "really" passed during the trip; it would be equally valid to say that the trip had lasted only a few years or that the trip had lasted thousands of years, depending on your choice of reference frame.

I bet you're thinking that Jesus did this.

Monday, September 14, 2009

How to be God like Me

1. Be Good
a. Don't do anything bad
b. Do all you can for good.
c. How do you defeat evil without becoming evil?
d. How do you define, for yourself, good and evil.
2. Be Happy.
Make being good a part of being happy.
Love one another.
3. Be Alive. Die fulfilled.
Don't be a zombie. Have a zest for life.
Read everything. Do everything you want to in life.
Maybe have a purpose in life. Pick a cause and go all the way with it.
4. Read my blog. Write your own. Stay positive.
5. Write the pope a note. I think I'll do that, one of these days.
The pope died after I wrote him a complaint about the source of my condition, last time.
6. Action speaks louder than words. Do a good turn daily.
7. Maybe be a bit mad. Maintain a curiosity about everything.
8. Talk to the JW's every time they stop by.

Attempt to be a Renaissance (wo)man.
And a polymath.
Did you know that Leonardo Da Vinci was a left-handed homosexual?
And something else, too.
Deciduous comes from 'to decide'. Jesus dried up a fig-tree.
Who decided?

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore God is.
I am God, I think. God thinks.
God is love. Love thinks. Love stinks.
Catholic perfume. cat prr.

Jitterbug perfume, by the writer of that book set in Alaska I read (pronounced red) recommended by Tiffany (who I did not have Breakfast with, although I asked) at Aquarius next to Cafe Roma next to the Mcdonald's owned burrito place next to Bogey's books (whose name I always forgot, except I knew it had something to do with jet fighters), where I looked for theater literature on how to completely change one's appearance so I could look completely altered for Halloween, or make myself useful undercover.

Hitler is said to hate Kanye West. You can't believe everything you read. But I can. Hitler would have ordered a hit on Ler, if he were jewish. Larry, lair, me. I approve of the right for Kanye to make himself center stage, but not the propriety. Is law just a matter of manners set into code by ethical/moral tyrants? Is South Park an important show in any way for developing The South (I read that book in college). Barack called him a 'jackass'. black on black dissing. God, the devil, and Bob. I knew a Bob at Davis who studied physics. He took extra time to take tests, as well as in bowling. I think rules are good for shaping people's opinions, but Kanye may have read my blog, and is now dreaming of a life in heaven with gay fish (!), because he's taking a break to rethink things. The pussycat dolls were on my mind recently, and now I'm thinking about collective unconscious and movies that either give insight into a predestined future or try to alter a future nightmare that someone may have dreamed. Books and movies are waking dreams. One man's nightmare is another man's wet dream.

Go, Manuel Marquez. Abas con insulting tv commentator.
The shorter the fight, the more Coke the U.S. should donate to every man, woman, and child in Mexico. And a free dental visit. Raise the poor by ever so slightly lowering the rich. Make the entire planet a democracy, 1 person, 1 vote, and let the madness of social and mind control run willy nilly, in a world without guns.

Friday, September 11, 2009

American Vice

I saw this link from stumbleupon.
Check this out.

Send the priests to these areas, stat!
Give school libraries copies of Bill Bennett's Book (the book of virtues)!
Airlift massive amounts of condoms to the Southeast!

9lbs, 9oz on 9/9/09

wow. A baby was born. Henry Michael Berendes. 7, 6, 9= 4

9 to 5. My blog should have loaded at 4:14, too, but I had to start over after the page shaded white. We live in a weird world.

Whoa. I got that wrong. 9 to 7. It appears this baby boy was also born by Cesarean (capitalized?) at 9:09a.m. (and how many seconds? lol)

link

It was good for a laugh. Maybe more?

What's a Kaprekar number?


The number you entered was 09999999.
Congratulations! You have found an extremely cool number! It has a Universal Coolness Index of 99.52%

09999999 contains a 7-of-a-kind together. Only 0.00018% of 8-digit numbers have this combination.

09999999 has 2 unique digits. In 0.011% of 8-digit numbers, there are 2 or fewer unique digits.

09999999's digits sum to 63. In 0.024% of 8-digit numbers, the digits sum to at least 63.

All of the digits in 09999999 are multiples of 3. Only 0.070% of 8-digit numbers have this property.

link

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Liberation, Libation, and Libration!

I studied libration on Wikipedia, and celebrated my liberation from it's definition with a libation.

Coming up with stuff like this makes me happy, in a small way.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

At the top, and Turritopsis

immortal God

quote
I'm not an atheist and I don't think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God.
Albert Einstein

aside
If we are all vehicles, then I guess every book in every library was written by God, kind of like how they say the bible was the inspired word of the Big G. Wow, even me, right now. Ahem.

Here's an interesting thing I ran across: Turritopsis Nutricula.
Check it out......(It's Immortal!)

Friday, September 4, 2009

More Religious Weirdness

Sarai, Sara, Serah, Asher, Israel....whatever?

The Columbia Encyclopedia is pleasantly concise (said to only be one or two volumes offline), and free online, thus giving me hope I might finish reading some version of an Encyclopedia in my lifetime. I think I'd like that.

Anyway, I plugged in my wife's name, Sara
and got:
Sara or Sarah,in the Bible, wife of Abraham and mother of Isaac. With Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah, she was one of the four Hebrew matriarchs. Her name was originally Sarai [Heb.,=princess]. She was childless until, by divine favor, she gave birth to Isaac in her old age. After his birth, jealous of her handmaid Hagar, who was Abraham's concubine, she drove Hagar and her son Ishmael into the desert to die. Sarah is said to have died in Hebron and to have been buried in the cave of Machpelah. The Sarah in the Book of Numbers is the same as Serah. Her number is 6.
-but you knew that already

moving on, I plug in Serah, and get:
Serah (sē'ru), in the Bible, daughter of Asher. It is also spelled Sarah.
Serah and Asher use the same letters. okay, I didn't know that, and I kind of imagine it really doesn't matter to anyone, anyway.

But, I had to:
Asher
Asher (ăsh'ur)[Heb.,=happy], in the Bible, tribe of Israel. Its eponym was Jacob's eighth son. It occupied the northwestern part of ancient Palestine, and its position laid Asher open to influence from other nations and attacks by them. It seems to have become insignificant early in Jewish history. The name occurs in Egyptian inscriptions. An alternate spelling is Aser.

Wow, the tribe of Israel became insignificant early in Jewish history? Then, why did they name their country after them? Like I said, it should go back to being Palestine, or Palrael, or Israstine, or something. Have a contest for a new name. The encyclopedia can be kind of fun.

Sara could be as Ra, that's Egyptian.
Sarah could be my wife in her black Honda (k sirah sirah) (sp?)
or hey little sister shotgun, or hey little sister don't shed no tear, no woman no cry.
syrah wine is good, like sir AH (anthony hopkins)
book of numbers: wouldn't that be as simple as 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 (or 0 through 9)
lol
Asher? I know something about ASH. Main Element is as H, hydrogen.
I like that I'm married to a queen, daughter of happiness.
Which brings me to what I found on OCW (open courseware) from Berkeley for now, the Fall semester: a class on Happiness.

What does Columbia say about Jesse?
Jesse (jes'Ä“), in the Bible, the descendant of Rahab, the grandson of Boaz and Ruth, and the father of David. Referring to the restoration of the Davidic monarchy, the Book of Isaiah speaks of a shoot coming from the “stump of Jesse.” The “root” of Jesse is the Davidic monarch of the eschatological age.

this makes me think of captain Ahab, baby Ruth, and ruthless. Ruth is hurt, rearranged.
what's this about eschatological (is that about poop? no, that's scatological) but scat is a jazzy thing, though. argh, whatever, I dunno.
okay, eschatology:
Pronunciation: (es"ku-tol'u-jÄ“),—n. Theol. 1. any system of doctrines concerning last, or final, matters, as death, the Judgment, the future state, etc. 2. the branch of theology dealing with such matters.

egads. is this why people are obsessed about 2012 or being in the end times? ME? Little ol' me?? I'll be 41. That's quite a thing to ponder. What a bunch of hogwash is my reaction. Death and final matters concerning hog poop. Just like the Hannibal movie. Hannibal Lecter has a stump, last we know. Nuts. From the giving tree. I don't exactly feel like a Davidic Monarch, except that there's a David in my head. None but ourselves can free our mind, Bob Marley sings. We have one mind, apparently. The hive mind sometimes gets stung. Shocking.

Prayers

3 poems elicited by my wife for my new year,
of 38 years.

Love's Philosophy by: Percy Bysshe Shelley

The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divineIn another's being mingle--
Why not I with thine?

See, the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower could be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;
--What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?

I don't know what the exclusionary principle is, but it sounds like it could be behind some resentment related to the heart of this romantic poem.

Our father
Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name
thy kingdom come, thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil.
amen.

hail mary
Hail mary full of grace the lord is with thee
blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb jesus
holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death, amen.

I met a devotee of Adi Da today, who told me their recently deceased guru leader's book -the Aletheon- sells for 270 dollars or something. I told her it should be available for free online so it can become a sensation and have a real chance at changing the world. Get people talking about it, allow the spiritual buzz to happen over the widest area possible. My wife cut my hair yesterday, speaking of buzzes. As I was talking to her, a small snake was sighted on the FLOOR of the STORE. She warned me it might be a baby rattlesnake, and I kind of think it was, but it could have also been a small gopher snake -in any case, i put it in a bag and dumped it over the fence next to the store, to the acclaim of the 4 or 5 people in the store at the time. Most people think what I did was actually kind of stupid, but I wasn't afraid of it.

Prayers for the preyers

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Urge to Punish

Mistrust those in whom the urge to punish is strong." -Friedrich Nietzsche
(the question is, do you trust Nietsche?)

or, as The Tudors, on video, which I've been watching lately, says, should you
"Trust No One". All this sneaky, Machiavellian, jousting for power, and to get leverage
anyway,

1. Hell is imagined to be eternal torment. That's not love. That's a terrorist threat. I think any preacher who believes in hell and screams or darkly growls at his/her congregation to straighten up OR ELSE is playing a card out of the free speech deck that I feel is cruel and unusual punishment, to boot. (I read Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God in high school, SHAG :-)

Still, I think anybody should be able to say anything.
It could be entertaining to be preached to by someone like this, but I think it is irresponsible, mostly, by some shmuk who gets off on intimidating people and feeling superior.

2. Punishers live by codes. Like bushido or something. Say, the law. Or their moral compasses from their upbringing, from school, parents, priests. Hanging out with the 'wrong' crowd. Whatever. Everybody has a code. Everybody has their own sense of right and wrong. Even the psychos have them. They've been wronged. Even sadists, I'm sure, feel they are righting the wrongs in the universe. Soldiers and police officers are scary. And the s&m crowd is too, I imagine. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The shadow knows. ha.

I found a "church of the universe" that's mainly all about pot and nudity. That sounds about right, lol.

What's UP? the Urge to Punish
also, I think the military's developing a microwave weapon is child abuse. Those military folk can go to hell. And they do. (war is hell -gen. Sherman) What would happen if nobody showed up for battle? I'm perseverating. Sorry.

In a lawless, uncivilized world of might makes right and whatever thrill killers that might arise, I imagine violence, mayhem, panic, pain, fear, and death would run rampant. All that resentment, anger, and just plain bloodlust that might rear it's ugly head. It's only natural. Frickin' bullies.

And ultimately, it's bleached bones in an indifferent universe. Don't worry, be happy.

Happy Birthday to Me!

God turns 38

-wikipedia and rotten have historical reviews, each day.

-I'm 38. That's like ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. -David Bowie
(c is the 3rd letter and h is the 8th)
church is very 38ish.

Sara and I went for a walk this morning, had breakfast at Sarafornia, and a nice dinner is planned with her mom visiting from Auburn (her house didn't burn down, if you were wondering) (Her dad's house came close, though).

Speaking of danger, I hope I don't catch swine flu, which a presidential panel fears will kill 90,000 people (and hit nearly half the entire poplulation of the U.S... Is this the same as the bird flu? H5N1? the regular flu? How many shots do I need? I already get a shot so I don't lose my shit as God and all, lol. Anyway, good luck, lords. Get it, Life OR Death? Scary) 90k is more than double the death count from an ordinary flu season.

2 years from 40. My dad called and said I was getting closer to his age, ha (44).
My mom also called and said she plans to help Vets and something else...I forgot, ugh.
Anyway, dinner's going to be awesome, with skirt steak, and spinach, and potatoes au gratin, and ice cream and coke (the beverage). O happy day.

Btw, the youngest father recorded was aged...8. youngest mother, 5. both from China.
If I had a child every year since I was 8, I'd have 30 children.

wikipedia on 9-3 (this date in history)
September 3: Ghost Festival in the Chinese calendar (2009); Independence Day in Qatar; Flag Day in Australia; Armed Forces Day in Taiwan

301San Marino, one of the smallest nations in the world and the world's oldest republic still in existence, was founded by Saint Marinus.
590Gregory I became pope, the first one to come from a monastic background.
1260Egyptian Mamluks defeated the Mongols at the Battle of Ain Jalut in Palestine.
1783Great Britain and the United States signed the Treaty of Paris, formally ending the American Revolutionary War.
1901 – The National Flag of Australia, a Blue Ensign defaced with the Commonwealth Star and the Southern Cross, flew for the first time atop the Royal Exhibition Building (pictured) in Melbourne.

okay, the name of the guy who became pope in 590 has my brother's name
and
the egyptian (pegyt..) mamluks defeated the mongols in Palestine on my sat score.

it's my birthday, humor me. Of course everything revolves around me, lol.
The rotten site seems to be stuck in December.

Here's history from infoplease:
1189
Richard I (the Lion-Hearted) was crowned king of England at Westminster Abbey.
1658
Oliver Cromwell, the lord protector of England, died.
1783
The Treaty of Paris officially ended the Revolutionary War between the United States and Great Britain.
1939
Great Britain and France declared war on Germany during World War II.
1967
Nguyen Van Thieu was elected president of South Vietnam.
1974
Frank Robinson was named the first African-American manager in major league baseball.
1976
The unmanned U.S. spacecraft Viking II landed on Mars and took the first pictures of the planet's surface.
1978
Pope John Paul I was installed as the 264th pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Meditation (post 11)

This goes up to eleven! -Spinal Tap

review of 6 cards: A thing of beauty, Go to the light, Patience, Reading, Forgiveness, Acceptance

A THING OF BEAUTY
pick a beautiful object, any object
-meditate/breathe
-notice everything about it
-now, close your eyes and visualize it in as much detail as you can
-open eyes, compare images
-notice what you missed, and (lather, rinse, repeat)
-see how much you improve with each repetition

GO TO THE LIGHT
-light a candle
-med/deep breathe (for a few minutes)
-open your eyes and focus on the candle
-notice height, width, color of flame
-visualize the flame inside your body (ouch!) burning away doubts, fears, insecurities
-with eyes open and focused on the flame, meditate a few minutes more
-when u r finished, blow out the candle, imagining you are blowing out your problems.

PATIENCE
helpful exercise for when it will be tested
-think of an ongoing problem where you lose your patience (person, object, home, work)
-what's your normal response? does it improve the situation, or not?
-what are the shortterm and longterm fx of your response, for you/others
-imagine an alternate, patient response, e.g.
instead of lashing out, inhale deeply and exhale loudly making a whooshing noise.
-the exhale whoosh is getting rid of all the negativity :-)
-if the noise feels inappropriate, breathe deep without the sound.

READING
Contemplation is a type of meditation where you focus on a piece of writing, like my blog, or the koran, or the bible, or People magazine.
-find a favorite book (like a dictionary?)
-do a few minutes of med/deep breathing
-without looking, open the book
-again without looking, place your finger somewhere on the page
(this is called bibliomancy)
-read where your finger lands
-think about the meaning in the context of your current life situation
(everything relates to everything else, I think)
-if you receive any insights, use them during the day

FORGIVENESS
If you'd like to ask for from someone, but can't talk to them, try this:
-meditate/deep breathe
-imagine yourself in your sanctuary with you higher or wise self
-ask if it's an appropriate time to talk to the other's higher self
-if appropriate for both, invite this other's higher self into your sanctuary
-imagine both surrounded in light and love
-mentally ask the other for forgiveness, tell them how you really feel, and why you feel regret
-notice if there are any changes in the other person, and ask if anything else needs to be said.
-write your experiences, if you wish.

ACCEPTANCE
this does not mean passive resignation. This exercise is designed to make acceptance into an active, creative process.
-sit comfortably and close your eyes
-think about an event in your life that was difficult to accept
-what can you learn about what you truly want in life from that event
-refocus your energy on what you want, as clearly as possible (a picture should be your goal)
-without trying to force yourself to feel differently about the difficult event, explore whether you can see it as an opportunity to strengthen your commitment to what you want.
-come back slowly

Meditation (post 10)

Some biggies (important meditation topics)
or, in other words, important for getting your sh-- together.

They are: Compassion, A Fork in the road, Freeing yourself, Staying grounded, and Let it be

Compassion
you could interpret this in slytherin parseltongue as cum passion or as compass ion..
anyway,
card says here, "Compassion is on of the great creative forces in human relationships" and that this is an exercise in both giving and receiving it.
-begin with a few moments of meditation and deep breathing
-think of times when you've given, as well as received, compassion.
-focus on a "master of compassion", like someone you know, or someone like the lama doll's eye (ha). See yourself as a master of kindness, and imagine yourself interacting with people that you both know and don't.
-imagine receiving compassion from a master. Allow yourself to truly accept the offered kindness.
-gradually return and open your eyes.

A Fork in the Road
this should help if you're trying to decide b/w two separate courses of action..
-do a few minutes of meditation, deep breathing
-with eyes closed, imagine a symbol for each
-imagine the symbols, 1 in each hand
-visualize each course of action as fully as possible
-slowly bring your hands together and clasp them, melding each course of action into the other.
-notice if a new symbol forms, or if you have any insights about a third way of approaching this problem.

Freeing Yourself
everyone sometimes feels trapped in certain situations..
-write about what you are learning from this situation,
in what ways are you growing stronger,
and what positive qualities are you learning?
-med/breathing
-imagine you are in a box. how big is it. what are the walls made of, how thick?
-add doors and windows to feel more comfortable
-visualize breaking down the walls so you can get where you want to be. imagine tools if necessary.
-write about the experience.

Staying Grounded
For when you feel scattered or pulled in every direction..
-brief breathing exercise
-imagine roots coming out of the bottoms of your feet, connecting you to the earth's core
-imagine pulling nutrients and water out of the soil, as well as pulling in the solidity and stability of the earth.
-imagine branches growing out of you, into the sky, pulling light and oxgen into every cell in your body.
-every part of you is healthy and sturdy, like your favorite tree
-come back slowly

Let it Be
feel confident about conforming and "going with the flow"
-do a few minutes of meditation, deep breathing
-visualize a long, deep river
-there's a sturdy, attractive sailboat waiting for you at the river's edge
-you get in, untether, and either a gentle breeze comes along to fill your sails, or the current pulls you along. Easy steering.
-Obstacles like rocks or trees are easily and effortlessly navigated
-sometimes you go faster, and you still effortlessly guide the boat, secure in your competence and enjoying the speed. At other times, the boat slows down, and you enjoy the scenery.
-if you see places on the shore you want to visit, you stop and rest or play.

Meditation (post 9)

this post will cover 5 cards- 5 days of daily meditations, from a deck of "centering excercises and calming journeys to lead you to peace." They are: New Day/New You, In the shower, Eating an orange, Walking meditation, and Creating home.

New Day, new you
-choose a day in advance
-when you wake up, remember that you are waking up to a new you
-while still in bed, stretch and yawn in ways that feel good to your body
-choose a favorite comfortable, outfit, and imagine that it's your first time wearing it.
(feel the texture, appreciate how the colors make you feel)
-try and live your day as if it were the first day of your routine, as if you had never done it before, and heightening/being aware of your day's senses of sights, sounds, smells, tastes.
-write about it at the end of your day

In the Shower
-imagine that the spray has all the colors of the rainbow
-also imagine that it is washing out all the negative thoughts and feelings from you down the drain, leaving you clean in both spirit and body.
-sing a favorite song (loudly?)
-upon drying, imagine that it is stirring up all the good thoughts and feelings available to you all over your body.

Eating an Orange
-meditate, deeply breathe
-pick a tasty fruit, such as a large, juicy orange
-feel it's texture, close your eyes and roll it around in your hands
-inhale it's fragrance
-slowly peel it, feeling the inside
-break off a section, sniff n' pop
-roll it on your tongue
-chew slowly, feel the juice
-imagine all the nutrients deeply feeding your body
-finish the rest of the orange as slowlly and consciously as possible.

Walking Meditation
(ha, I do this all the time)
-do a few minutes of meditation and deep breathing
-take a brief walk in comfortable clothes and shoes
-notice your breathing. is it/do you want to, link it in a conscious way?
-is the air moist, dry, heavy, crisp?
-really notice the environment. the ground (firm or spongy, springy or hard?)
how does it feel every time your foot hits the ground?
-pay attention to nature, trees, leaves, color shades of brown and green..
-upon return, write in your journal what you noticed

Creating a Home
this is all about feng shui and queer eye and better homes and gardens...
-spend a few minutes looking at your home, noticing how you decorate-or not
what's it about? a theme or style or eclectic or both?
-How do you feel about it? Is the clutter creative or annoying?
-now do a few moments of meditation, deep breathing, with a journal nearby
-imagine your ideal home. What's your overall feeling about it? Calming or stimulating or some of both?
-what small thing could you do to bring reality closer to your ideal? writing space? vase of flowers? rearrange some furniture?
-write in the journal what you want done, and by when.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

L.O.A.

1) Love One Another
2) Law of Attraction

that's all I want to say here :-)

Meditation (post 8)

Maybe you're getting the hang of it, by now
But here's the Jesse-processed version of the visualization on Power Animals -from my wife's meditation deck.

POWER ANIMAL
I'm a turtle-monkey-skunk-dog (!) With a bit elephant and penguin, thrown in. Don't worry, I'm not a trapdoor spider. I met a guy named Parrot, and another guy who calls himself Snake. I like snakes. Snakes are cool. Can God be a snake? Sidewinders and anacondas and cobras and king and garter and ringneck and racer and rattler and gopher and reticulate pythons (that squeeze the breath out of you instead of crushing). Now that's power.
-sit, close
-go to your sanctuary
-invite one of your power animals to reveal itself. Let the animal come to you, instead of trying to choose. It may be shy and take some time to show itself. I saw an elephant and a snail, which could have been the shell of an ammonite or other shelled sea creature. I'm no Republican, though. Maybe you think I'm an ass? Ren and Stimpy like bumping theirs.
-when it appears, how does it feel? what does it make you think of? If it's too scary, open your eyes, but don't eliminate it...... Observe the animal, how has it influenced you, and how it may help in the future. Thank it for visiting you, say goodbye, and return, to write about the experience.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Meditation (post 7)

4 Visualizations:
Your Ideal Day, Inner Peace, Outer Peace, Intuition

YOUR IDEAL DAY
imagine your ideal day, start to finish, "sunrise to bedtime"
then
do a few minutes of meditation, deep breathing
imagine waking up from a deep, refreshing sleep
you yawn and stretch slowly in bed, bringing a feeling of health and life to your body
how do you start: e.g. walk, a favorite food, or exercise?
work: what kind, alone or with others, some of each, for how long?
lunch: when, what, with whom
what's your leisure(s)
how do you spend your evening, and end your day?

INNER PEACE
Creating this for within yourself is an act that is both powerful and comforting
-sit, close
-imagine yourself completely at peace
-think of the feeling as a completely positive state
(not a rxn to stress/disturbance), rather a state completely desirable on it's own merits.
-Visualize maintaining this state in different situations
(start with supportive situations, and gradually move on to situations of stress/distraction)
-imagine those around you noticing your peaceful quality, and responding positively to it.
Enjoy both your ability to maintain this state, and others' response.
-gradually return, and open your eyes.

Gatorade asks, "is it in you?"

OUTER PEACE
The line between internal and external might not be that distinct (!)
The card says, "We influence the world by how we think about it."
Everyone hopes for peace, in their personal lives, and for the world.
This exercise is an experiment in using creative thinking to expand the presence and influence of peace in your life. (the opposite can also be done, as I can attest)

-sit, close
-focus on your idea of peace. imagine it in your home, workplace, community, work.
How would it feel?
-Visualize yourself as a deeply peaceful person. Imagine that everywhere you go, your peaceful quality affects everyone around you, and that your presence brings a sense of calm into every situation- even the stressful and tense.
-imagine others expressing gratitude and appreciation for bringing peace into their lives. Enjoy the feedback.
-gradually return, open

INTUITION
Maybe you should use your intuition on how to do a meditation on it, itself.
Anyway,
-it's beyond the conscious, rational mind, the card says
sit and close
-think about a moment when you've surprised yourself with an insight, or in hindsight, thought to yourself how you knew that would happen.
-remember how this feels
-okay, this one's interesting (for me)...Is it, in any way, how we perceive God?
....Visualize offering advice to yourself, imagine you are sitting next to yourself, sharing insights.
-Imagine yourself alternately giving and receiving advice.
-when you're giving advice, imagine it's coming from a source beyond both your mind and your emotions.
-when receiving advice, imagine setting your emotions aside and considering the advice as objectively as possible.
-enjoy the dialog for as long as you like (you sick, sick person, lol)
gradually return to the present, and open your eyes.

Ignorance v. Wisdom

Ignorance is Bliss, they say.
and
Knowledge is Power

power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
God is corrupt?
Or is God ignorant?

also,
Smarting hurts.

Has anyone ever told you, "Don't be smart with me, young man (or woman)"
Why the hell not?
Meritocracy gives power to the smart.
So is the dalai lama, who has power, corrupt?
Does he suffer from a burden of wisdom?
As my wife says, "it's his job to be happy".
Just some thoughts.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Meditation (post 6)

summary of visualization exercises:
Love, Romance, Joy, Friendship, Responsibility, Commitment
not too shabby, eh?

LOVE
sit, close
think, feel, think of different kinds: activities as well as people
where is love, where would you like more
imagine having as much as you'd like in every area
giving and receiving both
now imagine a small brilliant sun above you, pouring white light into your head, then torso, arms, and legs. Imagine it filling you with love, every cell in your body experiencing unconditional love. Enjoy for as long as you want.
Gradually return to the present, and open your eyes.

ROMANCE
you can use your imagination to issue an invitation
sit, close
think about, how does it feel
review your life. how much, what's your "romance quotient"
what would it mean to have more
what would a perfectly romantic day be (and maybe a bit beyond)?
Complete the day, and savor it
Gradually return to the present, and open your eyes.

JOY
I've said enough already, so I'll incorporate this funny song:


the actual video is pretty funny, too.

okay, I'll relate the new info :
sit, close
focus on joy. what does it mean to you. who do you know that is most joyful?
where is joy in your life present or absent?
what's your ideal of total joy
same old thing (light from above filling the body, from head to toes)
imagine the light is filling you with joy
gradually return and open your eyes

FRIENDSHIP
to create better and deeper friendships
begin with meditation/deep breathing
think about the people you feel closest to, what is it about each relationship that you cherish?
think about any positive aspect of friendship you'd like more of in your life.
how does ideal friendship feel?
in an ideal world, what would having friends be like?
gradually return and open your eyes.

RESPONSIBILITY
instead of being negative or burdensome, as is commonly thought-
this is about fully accepting your opportunities
in a joyful way
sit comfortably, close your eyes
think about what it means.
who do you have responsibility (for, and/or to)
what projects and outcomes
think of a past responsibility that you gladly accepted & led to positive experience.
what would your life be like if all your responsibilites were equally fulfilling
stay focused on this ideal of positive experience
imagine all the folks who will benefit from your experiencing responsibility in this way
gradually return to the present and open your eyes

COMMITMENT
perfecting the art of complete and joyful commitments
sit, close
what's your idea of it, where do your biggest ones lie
TOTAL commitment: how does it feel? what is so important to you that you could/might/have focus(ed) 100% on it.
imagine yourself completely committed in every major area of life and enjoying it.
imagine being a hero, because of commitment, to yourself and everybody around you.
visualize the white light from above (a "brilliant sun") flowing into your head and down to your toes, then becoming a white knight, happily filled.
gradually return to present, open your eyes
save the world, lol

Meditation (post 5)

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor, and when I die, I expect to find him laughing. -Depeche Mode, Blasphemous Rumours

om.

cruel to be kind-nick lowe (in the right measure, means that I love you)

aha! you made it! Congrats, welcome to the afterlife! lol. now that wasn't such a big deal, was it, hohoho! lol. hehehaaha. You're gonna love it up here. Always and everywhere. Eternal bliss, now give me a kiss. Heheho.

This post deals with Abundance, Fun, and Freedom

I'm listening to the 70's and 80's station, ending with the Cure's Why Can't I be You.
Being God can be like that. Everything is relevant.
Envy is harmless, in small doses. But don't O.D.
Best ta check yoself befo you wreck yoself.
I still believe in Oblivion, though.
And being God can be anything else, too.
Maybe I'll hypnotize myself in my last moments in the hope of rising again.
Anyway,

More Visualizations, for your mental health and amusement:

ABUNDANCE
To clarify what's important to you-and create more of it.
sit comfortably, close your eyes, focus on and define for yourself what abundance means
think of the different kinds of abundance, and which you feel u have or not
envision complete abundance. what's your ideal.
imagine the ideal as a brilliant light shining from above. let it fill your entire body. breathe it in! come back slowly.

FUN
sit comfortably, close your eyes, think about having fun, think of different kinds of fun, laughter, playing with childhood friends vs. today, THEN think of how much fun you'd really like to have, what would you be doing, where, with who(m).
Think of a brilliant orange ball, bouncing around inside your torso.
Imagind being completely filled with the essence of laughter and fun (feel free to laugh out loud)
gradual return to present, and then open your eyes.
Not just agent starling needs more fun out of life!

FREEDOM
do a few minutes of meditation/deep breathing
focus your thoughts on freedom.
think about it in the most positive sense (freedom to do and be) rather than
freedom from problems (i.e. instead of freedom from financial worries, think of the freedom to obtain whatever you want).
do you feel free? in what ways yes, and what ways, not?
imagine total freedom
(what would you do, where, with whom..)
expand your vision
enjoy (your vision) for as long as you like
gradually return/open your eyes

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Meditation (post 4)

It seems, I have to say, that Meditation could be the solution to everything
(when paired with ACTion, no?)
"You say you want a revolution, well, you know, we'd all like to change your head"

Anyway, this post will deal with only 3 cards:
Meeting Your Selves, Meeting Yourself, and Meeting Your Wise Self
That order seems logical to me, but we'll see.

MEETING YOUR SELVES
-Hi, Nice to Meet You, Selves
People with MPD (multiple personality disorder) integrate their personalities, for treatment; I have to say, this sub-personality talk has me weirded out. Anyway, I guess you're supposed to have an idea of all your sub-personalities before you begin. I'm me, though. How many me's are there, lol. The dead milkmen sing Now Everybody's ME! I love those guys.
Anyway,
prepare w/ meditation/deep breathing.
imagine taking all sub-personalities to a beautiful meadow on the top of a mountain (think like The Sound of Music, I guess) Invite them to form a circle, join the circle yourself
Imagine a great white light in the center.
Invite any of the sub-personalities who is willing to enter the center and be transformed by white light.
Notice it's appearance before and after the light thing.
(you don't have to visualize everybody)
imagine rays of light from the center enter each s-p in the center
Finally, step into the light yourself, and imagine that all the lightened s-p's reincorporate into you.
take a few moments to come back, then write about the experience.

MEETING YOURSELF
This is all about defining your identity...
Actually, the title is a bit misleading. It's about a way to confront a specific s-personality.
meditate, breathe deeply,..
forget it, I don't get or like this one.

aha. it must be david. Ugh.
Completely annoying, mostly. Shutup please.
I feel occcupied, if not possessed, although my medications make it better.
whatever, shit. This is God speaking: go to hell, David.
I know, resentment doesn't suit me. How bout a simple Gr.

anyway, the card says to notice the sub-p approaching you, greet it warmly, know that it believes it's doing something positive, thank it for it's help so far, ask if it would be willing to do the same job from a different, higher up perspective (a promotion, eh?), then walk up through the meadow to the mountaintop, show it the view, notice if the appearance changes, thank it and say goodbye.. return to the present, write.

And now, card 3: Meeting Your Wise Self!

MEETING YOUR WISE SELF
it's a part of you/me that can help find solutions to challenges
-prepare with meditation, deep breathing
-imagine yourself at a self place, maybe that meadow or mountain
-sit comfortably
-golden light coming toward you from a distance, growing bigger and brighter, filling you with relaxation and delight. When beside you, it may be human, or still light
-bask or ask; if you have any questions, ask. or enjoy the radiance.
-imagine the light entering your body, filling you with a higher wisdom.
-thank it for its help; return slowly

okay, I have to admit I don't believe the sun is filled with wisdom, or that white light is any different than golden light (other than it's wavelength) , and I want to know what's going on with all this hypnosis. Gimme summa that wisdom, ball of light! I'm skeptical, but hey, whatever works.

I have to incorporate one idea that came to me. If we really each have a group of selves, we may have an idea about which self is good, better, best, or even worst. It seems we need to have compassion for ourselves, between each.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Meditation (post 3)

Visualization exercises, written by Elizabeth Dickinson and Christopher Childs
(summary of meditation deck of cards).
Health, Growth, Creativity, Inspiration, Life Purpose, Wisdom

HEALTH
-Sit comfortably, close your eyes, think about your body and its state of health.
-Then, compare how you ARE doing to how you'd LIKE it to be.
-Gradually focus more and more on your idea of perfect health. Enjoy!
Imagine a small sun over your head, beaming light down onto you.
Let it fill you. Bathe in the warmth and glow of it, for as long as you like.
Gradually return and open your eyes.

GROWTH
-meditate and breathe deeply, to begin
-which areas are you growing in and which areas of your life are you stuck?
-think about who you'd like to be, your ideal self...in detail, and larger than life.
-how does he/she look, interact, talk?
-imagine yourself growing in size until you fill the giant image you built of your ideal self
-feel what it's like
-come back to the present without shrinking

CREATIVITY
keep a dream journal. isolate yourself, so your imagination goes into overdrive. hypnotize yourself into thinking you're an inventor, creating things that will make people happy(ier).
Work at the patent office, like Einstein. Above all, Make things that make you happy, or write things...(those were my thoughts)
Now, for the card
people say we're born creative. Recapture it. Make something beautiful. Imagine yourself as creative as you like, or being Leonardo da Vinci, or -even further- you have a magic want to create anything you imagine, that fills you with creative energy. (it says to make an orb filled with light, from which you get your creative energy)

INSPIRATION
more inspired, more of the time
I have a dream...that YOU have a dream.
Inspiration is 1%, the rest is perspiration (?)
alright, you know the drill: sit comfortably, close your eyes.
remember times of inspiration and creativity
imagine being an inventor in a brightly lit studio or lab, feeling joyful, light, and intelligent.
imagine having a Wow! idea (whether or not you can specify it)
imagine being congratulated by excited and impressed people
come back slowly

LIFE PURPOSE
The highest purpose, the funnest purpose, the wealthiest opportunity...
hmm.
says here, on the card...that
begin with a few moments of meditation, deep breathing
meditate and breathe deely (mbd)
ask your higher self or wiser self to be with you (!)
make a symbol that represents your life's purpose
things, or qualities, or both -acceptable
imagine the symbol on the top of a mountain
walk, dance, or run to the top of the mountain
hold the symbol in your hands, surround it with light, and take it into your heart
return from the mountain
come back slowly
record your experiences

WISDOM
contemplate the difference between smart and wise
s.c. & c.y.e (sit comfortably and close your eyes)
think of the wisest person you know. ask yourself why.
think of past moments of wisdom in your own life
either to guide yourself, or somebody else
think of yourself, a wise elder, far in the future
gradually return and open your eyes

Meditation (post 2)

I forgot the most basic thing- Breathing!

BREATH
or, rather, focusing on and counting each breath
in silence/a silent place
with uncrossed legs
sitting up straight, with back support
so as to remove stress, lower blood pressure (reduce hypertension),

close your eyes
your breath will start to deepen and slow down
which is good

FOCUS
let go of distracting thoughts
perhaps using a mental phrase to keep the focus
your mind thinks it needs to be doing something
if you think of things you don't want to forget, have a pad and pen ready
imagine putting distracting thoughts in a balloon, and releasing them to float away.

do it once or twice a day for 10 to 20 minutes

conscious, rhythmic breathing
increases relaxation and deepens meditation
when you breathe, expand the lower belly
and slowly fill your body with oxygen
from the bottom of your belly to the top of the chest
then, exhale slowly, gently drawing in the belly

it seems there's a proper way of breathing...
do something 3 times, do something else 3x, then do something other for 4x.
do those 10 things 3x
it has something to do with counting time for inhale, exhale, and hold (for both)
which, unfortunately, I guess, I don't get. So, nevermind, I say.
It's more fun to discover an effective technique for yourself, isn't it?
I'll tell you what the card says if you email me.

People always wonder if they're doing it right
Another card says no matter what, you're doing it right.
Just the attempt is laudable
even for people who have meditated for years, some days are easier than others.

Sanctuary
It is recommended that, when meditating, you come from a good place
i.e.
-either a place you remember as safe and serene, or
-a place in your imagination, that permits escape to something better, like a peaceful natural setting. (I like where I am, with my 2 dogs- my cushion is the dog bed). The sun and breeze and birds and flowers and friendly animals make it ideal, for example.
Stay as long as you want, come back slowly, and maybe write down your experiences.

Journal
a useful way to record meditation experiences, that allows you remember and see progress. It's easy to think of yourself as the same person, but a journal shows change (incremental or transformative). Choose a blank book that you like, i.e. with or without lines, of whatever size, so you can write changes in your body, like being more relaxed, and insights you gain.

Stretching
They're always telling you when to exhale. What's up with that?? Anyway, place your right hand on your left knee, and rotate your trunk/spine to the left, then vice versa, twisting with the exhale.

Neck and Shoulder tension
-lower and raise your head (to and from your chest), without forcing it, with a relatively straight spine (exhale lowering, and inhale raise) 3X.
-Move your head to the right, to your back, and to your left side.
when finished, roll your head in a circle, 3x in each direction. Don't ever hold your breath.

(okay, they're not telling me why I can't hold my breath, or what's really going on, here. I would like to know)

Honesty
I find this exercise a bit creepy. Sit, close your eyes, think about times you've been honest to others, and others to you. Imagine sitting with a famously honest person, and have a conversation about what it means to be honest. Tell this person what you think the pros and cons of honesty are. Imagine the response, without debate, listen attentively, then gradually return to the present. (This smacks to me of talking to ghosts, like the crazy elder Tesla did. Or just plain crazy talking to yourself; aka self-talk, aka mental masturbation).

Sub-personalities
This sounds like schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder, watered down for everybody else, who seem to think they're sane. Common sub-personalities (less developed or mature aspects of your personality) include the inner child and the inner critic. Contemplate a recent situation where you wish you had reacted differently -what part of your personality seems to have been in charge? If it was a separate person (possibly a different gender), what does he or she look like, and how do they dress, speak, move? When did he/she appear first in your life?
Write down what you've learned.
(wow, this exercise is for everyone...perhaps everyone really IS crazy).
(wait, shouldn't it be ARE)

Visualization (Use your imagination to consciously create what you want)
This one you can lie down on, if you prefer. Sit or lie comfortably, meditate and breathe for a few minutes, to relax. Think of a quality you would like more of in your life. Remember a time when you felt you used and possessed that quality. Remember how it felt, and where in your body it felt present. Now imagine that quality as a colored light that spreads into every nook and cranny of your being, until you are competely filled with that light and quality. Come back and resume your day, and then notice that you can access this quality and feeling anytime.