Good God is Good Love

Healthy Love vs. Addictive Love
Relationship Assessment
(with god, others, a significant other, yourself, or whatever)

If God is Love, God can be Addictive or God can be, on the other hand, well, Healthy.

Healthy Love
-allows for individuality, energizes
-experiences and enjoys both oneness with and separateness from partner
-brings out the best qualities in both partners
-accepts endings
-experiences openness to change, exploration
-invites growth in both partners
-experiences deep intimacy
-experiences freedom to ask honestly for what is wanted
-experiences giving and receiving as one, the giving is conditional same
-does not attempt to change or control the partner
-encourages self-sufficiency of partner
-accepts limitations of self and partner
-does not insist on unconditional love/ is unconditional love
-can make and honor commitments, anti-dependency
-has high self esteem and sense of well-being
-trust memory of beloved; enjoys solitude
-expresses feelings spontaneously
-welcomes closeness, risks vulnerability
-cares, but can remain detatched
-affirms equality, personal power of self, partner

Addictive Love (are you addicted to God?)
-Feels all consuming or energy draining
-difficulty defining ego boundaries
-has elements of sadomasochism
-fears letting go
-fears risk, change, the unknown
-allows little individual growth
-lacks deep intimacy
-manipulates to get needs met
-gives to get something back
-attempts to change or control the partner
-needs partner to feel complete
-seeks solution outside of self
-demands and expects unconditional love
-refuses or abuses commitment
-looks to partner for affirmation, worth
-fears abandonment upon routine separation
-re-creates familiar negative feelings
-desires, yet fears, closeness
-attempts to "take care" of partners feelings
-plays power games ("one upmanship")

this is from a worksheet that has you tally 0 for never, 1 for rarely, 2 for sometimes, 3 for often, 4 for almost always, and 5 for always, so you can score yourself.

Are you an addict?
You might as well face it, you're addicted to love.
Maybe everyone should go through the breakdown on love, instead of simply saying Love, love, love...make love not war, or whatever. Dig a little deeper.