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I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

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Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 51) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2200 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Buddhism

Buddhist lists

my own take: rich- right, true, correct (+ intelligent, happy)
520 million + (7% world population)
mindstream, goes off on tangents!, but flows back to ocean of reality:-)
everything is connected, interrelates
my voice says i'm a bhikku, you're a trip jess...
be, discover, change, and improve your no-self, lol

systematic theology, philosophy, religion
goal of buddhism: reduce, eliminate dukkha, for self, others.
Show the way, the path. Guide. Set an example. Learn, teach, master. Instruct, assist, help, share.
Share knowledge, wisdom, understanding, truth. Facilitate enlightenment.
Meditation, mindfulness, bliss, equanimity, compassion.
satori, samadhi, nirvana, bodhi, bodhisattva, etc.
Contemplation, curiosity, engagement, motivation, dedication, discipline, steadfastness, focus
Make the world a better place. Progress, development, life is good! Gratitude, contentment, joy, service
become joyful, compassionate, enlightened. Increase the peace. Help others. Kindness, love, charity.
Humanitarian- Help humanity, all living things, all beings, all animals, everyone, everywhere, always.
Dukkha, defined: pain, suffering, stress, anxiety, worry, misery, anguish, despair, sadness, depression, despair, hopelessness, displeasure, discontent, unhappiness, unsatisfactoriness. Agony, torment, hell.
Sorrow, tears, crying, hurt.
Ha ha, heartache. (harmony, dharma, first do no harm, jain dar-lin) (jane and ellen!) hardy har har, ho ho ho. He he. Heh heh. Laughter, ugh later. The count. Detachment, dour, analytical, discerning, discriminating, deep, comprehension, insight, kwuteo (knowledge, wisdom, understanding, truth, enlightenment, omniscience). No O. god/good. Oppression, repression, depression, recession, obsession, possession, confession, in session, lee press on nails, bruce lee jesus, god's gym, pray and prey, pay for paper, pay-per-view, Pe (Pierre) resists, prayer warrior, pray without ceasing, psycho, mental, predatory, of sound mind, mindfulness, monkey mind, quietude, stillness, tranquil, noticing, noting each thought, awareness of breath, emptiness, music with space, music from the hearts of space, muse, mews, moose, ick, sick, sic 'em, attack dog. Al gore, raining cats and dogs, global warming, global cooling, loco, crazy in love, war and warmth and awareness and beware and wary, ming vase/dynasty, die nasty, nas and tupac, t-pain, nasty boys, miss janet if you please, michael jackson, mj, michael jordan, magic johnson, mindstream, derailed train of thought, basketball, basket case (missing free throws), baseball and golf and chess and ping pong and tennis (focus, winning mentality), briefcase, attorney/lawyer, sawyer, turn knee, murder was the case that they gave me, just in case, justin timberlake, jt, john travolta, 10-20, jesse teshara! Satan cross. Stan a. cross, dag? Dag ridded evil! “I hate my name” 26, z, omega, sleep. Mai. Repetition, ad nauseum, over and over, again and again, without ceasing, without end, on and on, neverending, forever and ever (and even more ever), yada yada, and so on and so forth, etc. etc. there is nothing new under the sun, it's all just little bits of history repeating, just another day, just like any other day, that's ever been; round and round, new day, new year, 4 seasons, incremental change, the more things change the more they stay the same, those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it, eternity, oblivion, death. Rest in peace. Rest in pieces. Jack the ripper. Cal ripkin. Rip your napkin. Kirby puckett. Pucker up, kiss the curb. Curb stomp, american history x. X-men, Malcolm X, extra extra read all about it. The news, the olds, the new S, the oldsmobile, the popemobile. Pope, kissing the earth, the dirt, the soil, worshipping the ground I walk on. Ha! Ha-satan. Nat as ah. Nat X. Nation of islam. Islam, I slam, is lame, muslim, muslin, muesli, muzzle him, what up dawg? Allah, arm leg leg arm head. Extremities, extremism. Arms, armed and dangerous. Martial arts, self-defense, training, kung fu master, black belt, o-sensei, superiour equal inferior, o say can you see? The blind swordsman. Boot to the head! I'm not dead yet!
Mindstream, flow, stream of consciousness, train of thought, associations, one thing one thing – leads to another, talking heads, talking out of my ass, eddie murphy, raw, southpark reverse eating... the end!
Presence of unwanted things, absence of that desired
(persons, places, things, events, states, thoughts, words, actions)
such as: (sickness, illness, disease), (old age, senility, infirmity, dotage), (death, oblivion, annihilation)
attachment, detachment
obsession, possession, hessian, session, mesh in, recession, depression, confession
passion, dispassion, compassion, bash in, fashion, cash in, ration. Ass, shin. Shun. Sunyata.
Rational rationing of rations. (ameliorate: a meal your ate) (liberation, liber ration)(vir-chew)
lashing, lesson
sex: over cumming, suffer ring, bi-cycle of death (hated, date H), re-(bi)rth!, sam and sara!, b-ism, jism.
Schools (of fish!), refuge/future (F.u.), grace (gr ace, golden rule), psych elle/kull, wholehearted
commitment, vajrayana, community cum-unity (sangha), guidance (guy dance), deeds leave seeds,
cirCUMstance, before (b4, 6, sex), factors (F actors), passion and ass, under-standing, craving, desire,
lust, goo'd out-cums, becoming, fundamentally, US (unsatisfactory, stressful), meditation (john and
dianne!),
personal: buddh ism, 3ism (sara!). (ova) Is m. 49 bud dha 94 (adi da!), budd ha, 49, dios, reality.
God is an atheist. Doesn't believe in himself. In omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence.
Not possible. But belief is enabling? Makes people happier? Reduces suffering? Necessary lie?
Karma (car, ma), med-itation (shun), ism- intelligent scientific mind, ignorant stupid moron.
swans, geese, calling birds, french hens, turtle doves, partridge! (dukkha, duck! quack!)
regret (egret!), important (I am a poor cross ant!!), monkey/whiskey (monk wisdom), v omit (499)
time- thyme, that is me. Small minute. Painful hour (ow-er), weak week, month (7), year (why ear)
y and t, years and tears, yesterday and tomorrow/today, (oakland rock band), jesus and cross
chance chants, sangha, him hymn
stand, hey, it, amen -plural ;
SI (serenity, insight) (smart, intelligent) (stupid, ignorant)(screaming insane)
st. ignatius, sports illustrated, yes (spanish), I of sauron (!), sigh, c/see/sea, self-improvement
systeme international, sj (societas iesu), socialist international, smithsonian institution
swarm intelligence, synthetic intelligence
sacroiliac, small intestine, substantia innominata
suicidal ideation, sexual intercourse, self-injury
(vampire voices, feed on resentment -enlightenment, mind mint, can o bull)
body- action, intention, foundation (shin) (H sin?), hiss story, days/daze, tion (shun cross on!), ab-stain,
nerve-ana, meditation, medication, authenticity (tat, cat, city), mae: medication and authenticity.

types of word groupings:
rhymes, alphabetical, language, slang, synonyms/antonyms, alliteration/assonance, Categories/lists

x-fold, elicits origami, napkin, poker hand, folding. Foaled (baby horse).
types- theravada (darth vader), mahayana (hi anna!), vajrayana (vagina?)(ray and ana!)

0 (wholesome) (hole sum)(black hole sun) (bhs, burlingame high school), it all(ah) mounts to nothing?
1: noble ones (ariya), uni-verse, community, union, (unitarian, g-unit!),
3 jewels (refuge in, 3 jewish refugees), TJ/JT/El, TJ: Three Jewels :-) tj maxx (clothing retailer), tijuana
buddha (buddy ha), dharma (don't harm a), sangha (happy singing?), (ah ha)
3 negative roots (g,h,d; 10, satan),
3 good roots (non-attachment, benevolence, understanding) (nabu!)
3-fold training (higher virtue, mind, wisdom) (vw + bmw)
3-
4 (no bull truths): suffering (dukkha), cause of suffering , end to suffering, path to end suffering
  4- the four immeasurables: 1. loving-kindness, benevolence (ben, ellen, kay)
       2. compassion (cum passion, compass shun, cum/piss/ass)
       3. empathetic joy (ellen and jesse?) (electro magnetic pulse, pathetic) (pat, joy!)
       4. equanimity (like water off a dukkha's back)
 (4 true realities (TR): tuesday, thursday!;  (?), 4 stages of meditation (?) all the world's a stage!)
5 precepts: (bleed! Buddhist laypeople ethics education) abstain-
     1. abstain from killing living things/beings (extended to vegetarianism)
     2. stealing (ling? chinese for 'another') (ellen and anne!)
     3. lying (ying? chinese for 'should') (shoulder, don't should all over yourself)
     4. sexual misconduct (s and m, samsara?) (adultery) (sam and terry)
     5. intoxication (talks sick, toxic personality, k shun)
5 aggregates (skandhas, heaps, piles) (of clinging/craving) (that constitute and explain, body and mind) (each is not I/myself) (is empty, without subsance):
     1.  form or matter (f.m.!), made of virtual bumps in spacetime? (people, sentient beings, objects)
     2. sensation or feeling (s.f!), pun: pleasant, unpleasant, neutral.  consciousness connecting internal with external..
     3. discrimination (your psyche is a bigot? ha) (s and m process that recognizes and labels)
         (sensory and mental), recognition, re-cognition, best recognize! respect! lol
     4. mental formations (like this entire  blog, lol), (object oriented programming), karmic activities, triggers of action, what makes people initiate an action
      5. consciousness (awareness, cognizance, discerning, see?)
5 hindrances: to the good life / proper meditation.
   1. sensory desire, (satan devil!)
   2. ill-will, (hey, that rhymes! poet and didn't know it)
   3. sloth and torpor, heavy body, dull mind, "dddd" (dragged down into disabling depression),
   4. restlessness and worry (raw!), inability to calm the mind (aka "monkey-mind"),
    5. doubt (lack of conviction or trust) (no doubt, a band) (dow, convict, trustee)
7 factors of awakening: 1. mindfulness, (a full mind?), 2. investigation of reality (IR!), 3. energy, 4. joy / rapture, 5. relaxation, tranquility (body, mind), 6. concentration, clear awareness 7. ara (teshara!) accepting reality as-it-is (equanimity). (enmity of sequins!)
8 (-fold path, noble) no bull, EFP: “right” everything! ("all right", not milk)
      1.  right view (abcd! : "our actions and beliefs have consequences after our death")
      2. right resolve/intention (path of renunciation, enter an environment of non-sensuality, non ill-will, non-cruelty)(res sacharoff, patrick hennessy, nun, eons, crew)(pat and will!) (tent, tension)
       3. right speech (no lying, idle gossip, chatter, slander, abuse, even subtle belittling or barbed wit)
           (eric idle and barb!)
       4.  right conduct/action (no killing or injuring, theft, sex, material desires)
            (kits m.d.)(skit, skittles)
       5. right livelihood (only what is essential for life) (joining a monastic order, joy and mona!)
           promoting life, instead of death: poison peddler, slave trader, prostitute, butcher, brewer, arms dealer, etc. )
       6. right effort (7 factors of awakening!) generating wholesome states (jen's hole)(jen and tate)
           will and exertion, a steady pull, to develop virtues (detatchment, compassion), curb passions
            (will and ted!)
       7.  right mindfulness (no absent mindedness!, always aware of what you're doing)
            awareness of thoughts, feelings, body sensations.  retention of dharma teachings.
        8. right meditation/samadhi/concentration (sam and dhyana) (4 stages of dhyana!)
            "absorption" (sponging the concentrated orange juice?)
             extirpation of delusion (ignorance), craving (attachment, lust, aversion), hostility. (anger,        hatred, rage, wrath, fury, ire, resentment, bitterness, ill-will); meds (medication, meditation), sore abs (!), you can't spell samadhi without m-a-d!  (like funeral has fun)
10 virtues / perfections (paramitas):
     1.generosity, giving of oneself (jen, goo!)(jen and ross!)
     2. virtue, morality, proper conduct (al, chew, more ality, more 49, more buddha, p.c.!)
     3. renunciation (re, again.  nun.  cia.  shun, avoid)
     4. transcendental wisdom, insight (tw: tiger woods, third world, trump's wall; honda model)
     5. energy, diligence, vigor, effort (deve lopment)
     6. patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance, endurance (all the ents/ants)
              patrick (hennessy) IS tall.  I've met a Four.  and Oso (bear).
              my cousin in law's dad is named 'Ant'.  ack sept.  end of rant.
     7. truthfulness, honesty (th! the-ology, sith, etc.)
               ("ruth is the truth" -bumper sticker)(I'm with sith, lol)
     8. determination, resolution (nation, solution)
     9. goodwill, friendliness, loving-kindness (elle, kay, g/f)
           friendly friday, virtuous tuesday
     10. equanimity, serenity (eek! one, enmity) (sir wren)
           sirene is a balkan brine cheese; serene, scene, irenic, ironic, siren)
              i've met a serena (yuen) and (michael) wren
24 qualities of ideal buddhist follower/santani (see dharmachakra):
love (compassion? kindness?), courage, patience, peace/charity, magnanimity, goodness, faith, gentleness, selflessness, self control, self sacrifice, truthfulness, righteousness, justice, mercy, gracefulness, humility, loyalty, sympathy, spiritual knowledge, forgiveness, honesty, eternity, hope.
      
bhikku, bhikkuni (monks, nuns)- 36 vows for a novice, 253 for a monk, 364 for a nun
  (theravadin: 227 for monks, 311 for nuns)

kleshas:("cloudy" mental states, that manifest in unwholesome actions)(passions, poisons, defilements, afflictions, unwholesome roots, disturbing/negative emotions): greed, hatred, delusion, conceit, wrong views, doubt, torpor, restlessness, shamelessness, recklessness
    icc: international criminal court; ignorance, craving, clinging
synonyms, related conceptual groupings:
(ignorance, confusion, bewilderment, delusion), (desire, passion, attachment, lust), (anger, hatred, aversion..aha), (pride, arrogance, conceit...pac-man!), (envy, jealousy...nv, jesse L?)
     plus, wrong view, false view, opinionatedness
     "arising from a reification of an imagined self" -Muller (yogacara school of buddhism)

jesse words:
jealousy, JC, jay-zee, genessee  (street in SF), even gypsy (if you're not paying attention), j'suis (french for i am), jiexi (analysis, in chinese), jazzy, see's j, see s.j., jester

nirvana description: having eliminated desire, and accepting reality as-it-is, experiencing blissful egolessness, peace of mind, achieved an end of suffering, freedom from pain, in a timeless state of perfection, in the safe happy and quiet place of the great sages, who are free from sorrows, with the realization that all things and beings are without self, empty, without essence or fundamental nature, and impermanent.

my voice said "Buddhism IS a kind of suicide"
extinguishes ego, id, superego
me, myself, and I
the many me's, and the mini-me!

definition of a psychopomp:
1.in greek mythology, a guide of souls to the place of the dead.
2. the spiritual guide of a living person's soul.
(which still makes sense without belief in souls, or an afterlife)

empty
MT, mom teshara, margaret teshara
empty mind, blank mind, no ideas (e.g. words, images)
vampiric, drunk, blood loss, or alcohol gain
poop, urine, stomach
physically, mostly empty space:
     electrons are "bumps in spacetime" (virtual?)
without essence, without permanence,

w/o "substance" (sub stance? submission?)
    (or submarine, or subway sandwich, for that matter)
weird philosophical term.  i think of the table of chemical elements.

84,000 !!

path to liberation (6): ethics, meditation, wisdom, (k/c to elb/w), devotion, visualization, textual study
be good, quiet your monkey mind, make and learn from (yours AND others') mistakes, make time, imagine, read!
rebirth- born again! Yes? No? (kindness, compassion to world, every living being) (elbow!) (louis ck!)
rebirth (4): heaven, hell (limbo, purgatory);
realms, on earth;
christian born-again;
children, grandchildren, etc. (not exactly “you”, but close!)

positive, negative, neutral labelling noticed, then diminished, and finally extinguished.
Changing mental habits from attachment/aversion to detached, objective, real understanding.
Realization of universal (impermanent, transitory, fleeting, ephemeral, temporary) nature of all
“conditioned” (?) phenomena.
Also, the 3 marks of existence are S.I.N. (suffering, impermanence, no-self) (dukkha, anicca, anatta)
include emptiness and no-self, in addition to dukkha? (dookie -green day, (excrement)
“God is empty, just like me” - zero, by smashing pumpkins
impermanence, dukkha, and no-self? Happy nothingness. Blissfully extinguished. Grateful dead.

5 beliefs of dissent
1. I don't believe life is necessarily suffering. Dukkha comes in different measure, for different folks.
But it's good to know a system to overcome suffering, anyway.
Keeping busy, doing what needs to be done, is the simple answer.
2. I also don't believe death is anything other than complete oblivion, annihilation, and extinction.
In other words, I don't believe in rebirth, or the need to end a cycle of rebirth.
I do believe consciousness can penetrate other minds, telepathy and hive-mind and collective unc.
So maybe I'm wrong. I just don't believe in it (yet?).
3. Also, there is nothing wrong with attachment to hedonistic sense-pleasures.
Life is short, enjoy it while you can, as often and as much as possible.
It doesn't have to get old, if you keep things fresh, and mix it up (experiences)
  1. The belief that nirvana is permanent is itself a delusion. But you can still have a happy death.
       Maybe, though, there IS a state of consciousness, one with ultimate reality, that is
          Illuminated Constant Eternal Bliss, like standing on a mountain top in the cool, clean air. (!)..honestly, though, this strikes me as a line of hopeful hypnosis,  no different than "Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father"
  2. Enlightenment does not equal omniscience! There will always be ignorance, for everyone.

But I won't throw out the baby with the bathwater!!

enlightenment
bodhi, an ideal state of intellectual and ethical perfection
nirvana, extinguished ego, feeling unified with surroundings
one with the universe, one with everything, one with reality
nothing is fixed or permanent and change is always possible
extinguishing the 3 fires of greed, hatred, and delusion
compassion for all living things, and profound spiritual joy
no attachments, aversion, craving, ignorance, passion, lust
suffering, sadness, pain, unsatisfactoriness, stress, dukkha
desire, thirst, clinging replaced by freedom, liberation, release
equanimity and acceptance, blowing out, extinction
in tune, not subject to change or influence, conviction, resolve
insight, tranquility, goodwill, kindness, compassion, serenity
awake, alert, mindful, discerning, discriminating, perceptive
meditation, contemplation, attention, thought, reflection
stilling, cooling, peace

b-ism, ave hen, he will, buddy H-ism, flame/fire, extinguished/blown out, repeating cycle of blad (birth, life and death), freedom/emancipation/liberation/release, from suffering, ignorance, rebirth
(fler from sir), a feller met a feller in a field of beans, says a fella to a fella can a fella tell a fella what a fella really means? Rebirth of sunfish (sol, sole), HH (his holiness) highest happiness, realiz of emptiness, non-self. Quietude, calm/tranquil, still, quiet (person, place)(mind) attitude/quietude, equanimity, quaalude, wha? Affliction, suffering, sid past mad, causes (sick ill disease pain agony suff torm misery anguish despair) sudden insight/wisdom to transcendent truth, impermanence, dukkha, non-self, emptiness (a “tall glass of water”, neither half empty or half full!, optimist, pessimist, vs. cynic, sin-ick) joke about transcending dental medication.. vampiric substrate, facet of meaning (drunk, empty) (M.T., my mother, margaret teshara, treat all as your mother, birth mother is not my mother, and adoptive mother isn't either, and neither is mother earth, OR all three are!!!, all true, god believes all things, living things, living room, life of your tires, chemical half-lives)

heartache -crete= ha ha
said the cretin, in crete, during the cretaceous

be mine, said the lover to the slave, on valentine's day, who was possessed (b/be/bee/bea)insightful, no?
b-ism, bee-ism: bee mine, honey, sweetheart, tender-hearted (yikes!), busy as a bee, B: butt, breasts
BB body building, butt/breasts, big and bad, bill bryson, bb king, bb gun, bebe (southpark),baby! bay-b, big and beatiful, big and burly
belly of the beast (beast with two backs) (b-east, burma) (reference to jonah in the whale, in bible) JW!
(bob: bob around (barbara anne -beach boys), robert, bobo, fishing) (davis, skinks, dad, CR, grandpa)
CR: camp royaneh (also, consensus-reality, colorado rockies, seer...) (catholic radio, 1260, sat )

xmas tree: compost, erosion barrier, food for goats (JT jesse tree, jesus cross, jess teshara -me!)
everything is old, thought before, nothing new/original (under son): ol' d : disease, dying, death
alternative interpretations (AI) of that old devil (ddd), reviled by “haters”
dis-ease (dukkha),
dyeing (fabric, “colorful”),
d eat h/ de at h: devil eat god, david eldridge at hannibal's deli, “little death” (orgasm)
death=hated (hater=earth), therefore, happiness =accepting (loving?) death. A law. (allah?)
Loving the hated: different, weird, strange, queer, non-conforming, radical, subversive, alternative
one with the universe, united with brahman, eternal rest, thus-gone, extinguished,
like a candle in the wind. Death, thou shalt die. Richard scarry, personification
(angel of death, anne I mull) (anne rice) 78, 6y (sexy?) anne rice, blood fetish

back to buddha, buddhism:
(get behind me, satan) (butt, behind: devil is gay/queer/homosexual/fag?) messages, mess o jizz
anyway, (any which way butt-loose), associations (ass of cia, shuns), ciao, chow. Mess hall. Kith.
kids in the hall, kith and kin, family, fame- I wanna live forever!

I originally intended to just compile all the Buddhist lists, which i see as being how a clean mind should work, but got carried away with associations and connections, which I hope you enjoyed!
(I enjoy the messy process)

buddhist enlightenment is awakened intellect (AI!) as is?  Isai, my name in spanish.
jesse lawrence teshara, 499, buddha 234481, bud9, d4, ha9
   was idi a buddha?  idi amin hardly fits the profile!
   also, 'the buddha' does not equal 'satan' (says J)
499=22=v.   avalokiteshvara, bodhisattva of compassion (teshara +v +avaloki)
ava and loki! (god in norse mythology, a trickster god) (ava  gardner)
nirvana, spiritual release (spear ana, the nerve, lol)
bodhi, supreme knowledge and wisdom, of a buddha
    (the word knowledge evokes "biblical knowing," too)
       ( aside: is god a slut?  he loves everyone.  bisexual?)
maybe a motive for immersion in buddhism,
   for those seeking power, or being #1 (supremacy)
best, highest knowledge is supreme, many have it
(or maybe the few, the proud) (but no! humility is a virtue)


prolife, veg, a combination of buddhist extinguishing of desire, combined with met basic need.
Need, compulsion, desire... preference . Virtuous, enlightened-
Elegant, meticulous, precise. Fearless, brave, courageous. Immaculate, clean, discerning.
Powerful, sane, inquisitive, confident, tranquil, healthy, disciplined, dignified, grounded, solid
good, benevolent, equanimity, gentle, kind, loving, compassionate, merciful, caring (self/others)
authentic, honest, true, genuine; sacred, holy, tender-hearted, awake, aware, generous, beneficial


if equanimity = all good (it doesn't necessarily have to)
not good, bad, or even neutral -unlabelled, just IS. Accepted. Ack, sepsis.
God? (no evil) (not by killing sinners, locking up criminals, superior upbringing, government taking away freedoms, or everyone in one religion, etc.) (but defining everything as JUST IS (not evil) (not good, either). All god's plan, you could say. Love everywhere (everything). Pc, products of conception. Enlightened perspective (who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!) (conscious light!, ha) fire pain … or is it Utterly Sick and Delusional (!) (preferences and aversions, “residue”), nobody home, “simply not there” -american psycho, airhead, blockhead... eminem “feels so empty”, space cadet, mindlessness, “scatterbrained”  Bhikku, bku, be kill yourself?, suicide, on fire, self-immolation, SI, thick duck, selfless no-self A/B, skandhas: heaps of ideas, blog posts, words. (piles of paper)

BUDDHISM=23448914,
5885


or, right brained, Buddy His M
(e.g. man, marcel, monkey...)

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Trump's Wall


the wall
the great wall of china, the berlin wall, pink floyd's album
walls that keep some in, and others out
barriers, that separate and divide and exclude and contain and restrict
a word that sounds like wah plus all.
everyone bawling like a baby...
humpty dumpty sat on a wall !
Trump, well, he just feels threatened
gangsters, the poor, less educated
like a indian caste of undesirables
who will make america worse, again
walls make me think of incarceration, jail, prisons
locked in, staring at, less freedom
america, the land of the free.
And the wall would cost how much?
That's not free, either.
Paid by blood, sweat, and tears of american taxpayers.
For a stupid idea that can be climbed over, tunneled under, or torn down.
And should be, in my view.
We already have wall street, walgreens, and walmart!
Really? An alienating, estranging, isolating, looming, intimidating wall?
Mr. President, tear down that wall.
The wall in your heart
that thinks you're superior,
that thinks mexicans are worse than canadians,
that believes immigrants don't benefit the countries they enter,
that doesn't see that americans were all immigrants once,
and that won't see the iron logic behind
spending less on walls
and more on developing the countries immigrants flee
so that they can buy our products,
if not create more heavenly places for americans to visit, travel to, be tourists in, and enjoy,
without prejudice or hindrance or hate,
because America is and will always be great,
in a world that works cooperatively to lift each other up!
In fact, walls are ugly blights, and contrary to our ideals, and
if you want to check illegal immigration,
we can offer asylum and refugee status for the truly in need,
-while keeping criminals and terrorists out-
with more effective, and less expensive, ways to do that,
(instead of 1900 miles of a 30 foot tall monstrosity)
such as: more border patrol agents, with dogs, and technology
that can monitor the zone, or access fingerprint/record databases,
and... creative barrier ideas that increase interaction/wealth
such as a musical xylophone wall (!), or
a wall built in such a way as to allow volleyball,
or restaurant/food cart interaction.. (you get the picture)
Really, we don't want to build some permanent structure.
Because we want a future where eventually, any wall will come down,
RIGHT??

on the other hand, we like the walls of our homes,
and many hopeful immigrants die, attempting to cross the desert, etc.
but we're under no obligation to save them from themselves...
personally, i think the whole entire earth shouldn't have borders!
different laws for different nations, sure, I guess-
but free mobility of people, products, money, and
    well: pollution, water, disease, plants/animals, etc. too
I admit I'm not fully informed-
I just don't like borders.  I prefer freedom.  that's just me.

In conclusion, RITA!
(respect, acceptance, tolerance, inclusion)
WAR, too.  (welcome, acceptance, respect)

God Poem


god is a concept, a role, and maybe even a status
if there is a set of criteria for such a thing
maybe like a videogame level
or a chess master, or kung fu master
once on top, can you stay there?
Maybe god is a committee!
Or a rotating position
or nun of the above
nothing at all
non-existent
just a word
virtual
or me
or you
if you're good
or love: the two of you
a you-niverse unto itself

Thursday, December 27, 2018

A Dream

I had a lucid dream

of a woman calling me A Buddha
I laughed
Buddha means 'awake' (!)
I don't know how many laughs
   (would that be the definition of 'clear' to a scientologist?)
anyway, I thought of a number of responses

Am I laughing because I am Buddha or because I am Not-Buddha?
I don't actually know!
Are we all Buddha, already?
Does it depend on the definition of Buddha?
There are 4 options: I am Buddha, I am not Buddha, I am both, I am neither.
I AM a buddy, ha.
Is Buddha merely a role? like God?
Is anyone who is awake a Buddha, just as anyone christened with oil is Christ?
I am my body.  My body is always changing.
Buddha is a name, a title.  I am Jesse.  I am not Jesse.
I am not a word.  You can call me whatever you want!
I don't believe in souls.  And I do believe in the(buddhist) doctrine of no-self.
A Buddha is not a Buddha?
Furthermore, "if you meet a buddha, kill him" -attributed to zen master Lin Ji

You can pronounce Buddha as:
Boo'd, uh  (boo-dism)
Budd huh (bud-ism)
bood uh (rhymes with good, uh)

Teshara - to share uh
to share regression analysis
a quote, "a regression is a statistical procedure hat takes raw historical data and estimates how various causal factors influence a single variable of interest.  In internet dating services, for example, the variable of interest is how compatible a couple is likely to be.  And the causal factors are 29 emotional, social, and cognitive attributes of each person in the couple."

Wouldn't you like to know what those 29 attributes are?

the goal: 
enlightenment
bodhi, an ideal state of intellectual and ethical perfection
nirvana, extinguished ego, feeling unified with surroundings
one with the universe, one with everything, one with reality
nothing is fixed or permanent and change is always possible
extinguishing the 3 fires of greed, hatred, and delusion
compassion for all living things, and profound spiritual joy
no attachments, aversion, craving, ignorance, passion
suffering, sadness, pain, unsatisfactoriness, dukkha
desire, thirst, clinging replaced by freedom, liberation, release
equanimity and acceptance, blowing out, extinction
in tune, not subject to change or influence, conviction, resolve
insight, tranquility, goodwill, kindness, compassion
awake, alert, mindful, discerning, discriminating, perceptive
meditation, contemplation, authenticity
stilling, cooling, peace

Why I am not Buddha:

5 beliefs of dissent with Buddhism:
1. I don't believe life is necessarily suffering. Dukkha comes in different measure, for different folks.
But it's good to know a system to overcome suffering, anyway.

2. I also don't believe death is anything other than complete oblivion, annihilation, and extinction.
In other words, I don't believe in rebirth, or the need to end a cycle of rebirth.
I do believe consciousness can penetrate other minds, telepathy and hive-mind and collective unc.
So maybe I'm wrong. I just don't believe in it (yet?).

3. Also, there is nothing wrong with attachment to hedonistic sense-pleasures.
Life is short, enjoy it while you can, as often and as much as possible.
It doesn't have to get old, if you keep things fresh, and mix it up (experiences)

4. The belief that nirvana is permanent is itself a delusion. But you can still have a happy death.

5. Enlightenment does not equal omniscience! There will always be ignorance, for everyone.


Tuesday, December 25, 2018

all good

good deeds, dirty deeds

satan, mephistopheles, antichrist, lucifer, beelzebub, evil, devil, jinn, eblis, azazel, ahriman, mara
vs.
happiness, fun, games, toys, play, joy, bliss, cheer, optimism, positivity, gratitude, respect, comedy, humor, satire, jokes, standup, laughter

virtue, vice
I AM
ahura mazda
angra mainyu
   (Zoroastrianism)

one with the universe, all-1
equanimity, acceptance (Buddhism)

bhagavan=bhagwan
both mean "blessed or fortunate one" (Hinduism)

Creator, Destroyer, Preserver

HH
his holiness, holy hill, happy hall, heaven/hell, hi/hello, him/her, happy and healthy, crazy 88's, happy holidays!  

HL
(heil, hell) hannibal lecter, hatred love, high/low, harvard knight, hospital 'ell

PP
progress toward perfection

jiexi means 'analysis'
which doesn't mean anal and sis

stoopid


It gets more ridiculous the longer it gets
the more serious I take myself, the more comical I become
laughed at, mocked, ridiculed
all good
laughter is ugh later. Because I'm right.

right is grit H (teeth without teet)
i'm left too. Ka-pow!
The left hand path, satanism
nonsense, nun sense, no incense
anyway,

right doesn't mean anything
left doesn't mean anything
mean doesn't mean anything
any thing doesn't mean anything

right means not left, left means not right
handedness, politics, dexterity and sinister, correct vs. lying
righteous vs. lefty liberal baby-killers. Left? Goodbye.
whatever
whatever's clever

meat is delicious
childbirth is painful
some prisoners deserve death
war is sometimes necessary
murder can be fun
vengeance is mine, sayeth the lord
god is a man of war
hatred is human
suffering is universal
i'm full of shit (literally)

meat is the result of vast suffering
childbirth, and adoption, is preferable to abortion
life imprisonment is a better punishment, better justice
war is never the answer
murder is evil
compassion, kindness trump vengeance
god doesn't exist, but love does
hatred will cool, my love for you is real
there is an end to suffering
i'm fresh out of shit

I don't care what you do.
Believe whatever you want.
Do what's right.
Every rule has an exception.

Sacred Holy Divinity

God's Loving Theology

here's the Virtue, that gets rewarded, for all the good little boys and girls!

Loved, loving, in love
from love, toward love
think/say/do/be love

friendship, family, community
of good cheer

thoughts, dreams, wishes, hoping, praying
God is not a genie, but The Secret says...
Reality, or the Universe, or Santa, or a Higher Power...
instantiates, or actualizes, or something

more virtues

goodness, faith, hope, love
sex, intimacy, touch, massage
pleasure, satisfaction, contentment, bliss, ecstasy
benevolence, grace, mercy, compassion, forgiveness
knowledge, wisdom, understanding
peace, security, safety, charity
kindness, joy, truth
strong, fit, healthy, well, sane
blessed, breath, alive!, experience
altruism, caring, concern
sympathy, empathy
fun!

Ho Ho Ho


Merry Christmas! Jolly morn!

While walking the dog-
I saw Santa driving a Mercedes, this morning.
Also, a car with the license plate Gezzzus.
And I heard a child scream, inside a house.
I heard a homeless woman playing a loud song in her car, "this girl's on fire".
I thought about Santa as an anagram for Satan, giving gifts through a “fire place.”
    The one day the fires aren't lit in the fireplace...
    he gets to escape hell, he repents by giving everyone gifts!
Gifts are regalos, in spanish. Al Gore! Presents, galore.
Algo means something. Algo-rhythm. A sick muse.
I also thought of “machine-elves,” living in our minds,
if you're high on dmt, I've read (but not actually experienced)

anyway,
I'm celebrating with family tomorrow.
I got everyone baklava and kind bars.
and toys (slinkys, a toy truck, radio)

Monday, December 24, 2018

A Law

Good morning, Berkeleyans!

hi
My name is Jesse. Jesse, like Jesse Jackson, James, Owens, Helms, Ventura.
Or the Christina Applegate sitcom of that name that ran on - from x to y.
Or Uncle Jesse, from either Dukes of Hazard, or Full House.
I am, in fact, an uncle. My brother Greg has 2 kids, Ben and Declan, x and y.
I'm also uncle jesse to Augustus, my friends Sara and Pierre's young boy.
They live in Portland. I might leave Berkeley, and go live with them. Cheaper rent.
My family lives in the Bay Area, though. And I like Berkeley. My roommates are mostly mexican.
I speak Spanish. My name in Spanish is Isai, or Chuy, or Jesus.
You can call me Jesus. I don't mind. Or, Zeus, for short.
I don't take the lord's name in vain, I hope. He seemed to do alright with mine.

My full name is Jesse Lawrence Teshara. My dad's name is Lawrence.
He goes by Mr. T, like his dad did, way before the A-Team was around.
Lawrence is spelled with 'law' and 'wren' in it. I guess you could call me Larry, too.
Teshara is a portuguese name. Some people think it's japanese. Maybe it is. It used to be Texeira, but the spelling was changed at Ellis Island, when z, my great-grandfather came over from Europe. Texeira is a common name there, I'm told. Teshara is an anagram for The Sara, and also As Earth, As Heart, As Hater, take your pick. Shat ear is one of the crazier ones. Makes me think of iron mike.

A jess is a falconry term: it's the strap around the bird's leg. Jessamine is jasmine.
So you can play with my name and come up with things like
Zeus Law as Earth, or Jesus, Larry shat ear, or Jess lore the Sara
or chewy ear law, or See S.J. wren as heart, or JC's law to share
or even, Jesus as hater. I jest! Hey, Zeus - lore int share, huh

I find this kind of thing fun, and you can do it with your own name, too.
There are anagram generators on the web, that can list thousands of permutations.
Names have a kind of power, but you can always change them.

Anyway, I'm not just Jesus and Zeus and Ra, the egyptian sun god I'm a law!
Law-rinse... maybe I should rinse my mouth. Isa is Jesus in arabic.
Jesse L can become jealousy. I'm sharing this with you (I'm to share). To Cher!

I'm adopted. PT is my mom. Riddle is my birthmom (a net!). Be rid of this dullness!
How many times is the word God used in the bible? (candle: can dull)

God is I AM. In french, J' suis (Jesse). J' taime (JT I am!)
I dated an Ellen (Covington) French in college. Lots of coveting.
Happy Noel. No elle. Go figure.
I'm JC (jesse). I've known LN, and KT, and written many SA's (essays), ha.
my name in chinese means something, too (i forget)

Merry Christmas, every One!
(god is one. money- my one!)
god is love. Jesus is the prince of peace. God is a man of war.
Another riddle. Batman's atman?  mow the lawn, pop?
Allah, a law; Teshara, to shariah!

Sunday, December 23, 2018

tis the season

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas
Happy New Years
Happy Hanukkah
Merry Kwanzaa
Feliz Navidad
Happy Birthday!
happy solstice, and leonid meteor showers, and full moon

oh happy day
silent night
o holy night
    (that's what Halloween means!)

to be jolly
more suicides? (no, actually.  misconception.  spring has the most)
more death, i think (more elderly folk die in winter)
it's a cold, cold world
walkin' in a winter wonderland (www!)

today was a good day, for me.
i repaired the flat tire on my bike, bought bread for xmas potluck (couldn't find hawaiian rolls at berkeley bowl), took a shower, paid my January rent, listened to music, ate a burrito (with a snapple), did some paperwork, walked the dog, cleared my email, let the pets into the yard for like an hour, got over a hundred page views on my blog, took a nap, and watched some Ridiculousness (on youtube).

Busy, busy!

Saturday, December 22, 2018

barking mad dogma

what up, dawg?

a doge is the chief magistrate of venice or genoa
top-dog!, derived from dux, latin for leader

(dogma is not etymologically related to dogs)
(just like jewelery has nothing to do with judaism/jewry)

today, 12/22, is the date the Dominican order was sanctioned by Pope Honorius III (in 1216).
my mom's sister is a Dominican,  in the Order of Preachers
(apparently there's a difference between nuns and sisters?)

St. Dominic Of Guzman (D.O.G.) is often portrayed with a dog
I've been to the church of st. dominic of guzman, in Oaxaca, Mexico
the story behind this association is that

https://mervinop.wordpress.com/2016/08/13/the-myth-about-domini-canis/

so there's more to the story than just a pun of domini-canis.
hounds of the lord, watchdogs of the lord
preaching is "barking" (!!)
(this can be interpreted as preaching being just noise)
    this itself can be considered "bad noise"
which I got from the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

woof! ruff! yip! (all true, lol)
bow wow

o.p. (order of preachers) reminds me of 'stop' signs
the st could stand for saint

dog is of course god, backwards
yhwh is H, why? backwards
devil is lived, backwards
evolution is no it u love, bacwards

"man's best friend" (-King Frederic of Prussia, 1789)
all dogs go to heaven (another good quote/meme)
       woman's best friend, too?

bark is of course the outer layer of a tree
jesus was a carpenter, nailed to a tree
jesus shrivelled a fig tree;
the jesse tree (genealogy of jesus)
the trees of knowledge, life
fruit of the womb
and, of course, Xmas trees! (plus wreaths and mistletoe)
boughs (bow wow!) , priests bow :-)

plus,
bark=bar plus ark (wine miracle, eucharist, and Noah)
DR (doctor? healing?) -Dominican Republic
ru serious? Sirius, the dog star
put that on your Christmas tree-top!
a partridge in a pear tree

The present is a present!
Presence, under the tree, :-)

Thursday, December 20, 2018

What's Up, Doc


A rap

Whadup, peeples? Why, steeples!
What else is up? Stars and sky, clouds and moon, we'll get there soon
What's down, clown? Why, The center of the earth
what's the knowledge worth? Why, your baby's birth!
The sky! The opposite of down!
on this big blue marble, we're all underground
and will be, wear a trilby, you feel me?
What do I mean? What is this scene?
The north pole is under the south pole, if you keep going
if you're going through hell, keep going
it's showing, keep rowing
the earth is brown, earth is a noun
down town, up town, same old sound
watch is wound, lost and found
round and round, new day, new year
rotate and revolve, mysteries to solve
have a beer, eat a steer
good cheer, never fear
hear! Hear! We're here, very near
Britney spears, in your ear
run like a deer, from the hunter and his gear
ride in my lear, without peer
refrain from smear, that's the spir-it
let's hear if! For the meerkat, and all that
a kitkat, a tictac, bric a brac, frick and frack
a fraction of the friction makes for good diction
who won the eliction?

Saturday, December 15, 2018

"Reality"


Reality
re-ality, re 49. di-os. Jesse teshara operating system. Re-me, over and over again.
Me on dope, high on marijuana, had some ideation along these lines.
Embracing buddhism, as a result. Deciding beforehand to not go “into the light” (rebirth).
Repetition, petition again, pet it ion? Huh? Shun petting it. (caressing, pets)
remorse- do morse code over again. No remorse! 466. don't 7 again.Jesus christ.Been there, done that!

Re words
rewards, remorse, reality, repetition, recharge, revenant, review, recap, renaiisance, resurrect...

redemption
metaphor for being “bought back” (redeemed, like a coupon)
sacrificing god is the devil's price for giving back enslaved souls to god?
Metaphor? Virtual? Unreal!
Trying to put a positive spin on a great injustice.
Because devil and god don't exist! Jesus was insane, trying to fulfill (insane) jewish scripture.
God choosing his own “chosen people” sounds like an idea from a / the devil, if you ask me.
If god is the source of goodness, then the truth, which is good, comes from me, my brain
(my brain is God!) (life is but a dream, who is the dreamer? I dream myself, I think, I hope)
Isn't it insane to think all my thoughts don't originate with ME!??
(I get by with a little help from my friends, corporate mind)
good and evil exist, but god and devil, no. Good and evil vary, between people. It's personal.
the whole subject is nutso.
The devil (a virtual reality, a role) owning souls (which don't exist), and returning them to God (heaven, afterlife, possibility of -) by virtue of killing Jesus (God as a man). Insanity, all of it.

Res-erection (reyes), met a Four, and Sam/Sara- my life is kinda nuts.
Words, wards, and were 5 (christ)

funky words:
bigelow tea!  (breaking god's law, ow, T!)
cross: crossing over, like the river charon, feeling cross on the cross
pain: i pan (bread, in spanish), i nap?
                   bread: bred, read B

insane in the membrane, insane in the brain! (cypress hill)
Insane clown posse (aka, icp)
mirror in the bathroom! (the english beat) (trip gently into mental illness)
madness (rocksteady band)
crazy in love (beyonce)

What's YOUR truth?
Reality revisited: re words from the chambers dictionary:
(“the only word in the english language that should always be used in quotes”)
realia!

pp. 1271-1309
reach, react, reactivate, read, reed, reagan, ready, reagent, realign, realize, realm, realpolitik, realty, ream, reanimate, rear, reason... (nevermind, almost 40 pages of this!)

Of course, I am not my thoughts.  I am not my name.  I am not a word.  I am not my brain.  I am my body (but my body changes, all the time).  I am whatever role I play.   All identities are self-chosen roles.  I think maybe I have no inherent self ("no-self", a buddhist concept).  I am the walrus.  I am a stream of consciousness, flowing to the sea of Brahman.  I am mostly water.  I am a human being.  God is made in the image of man.  Halloween can be every day, if you want to be a vampire, for example.  If you commit crime, or eat people, you can be a monster.  You can be forgiven.  You can start over, every new day.  You can ingest the eucharist, every week.  You can extinguish your self,  or elevate yourself, and be God, either way.  You can be an atheist, and still be good.  You can be mad, and still be sane.  You can be sane, but be mad.  It's all good.  Unless it's all bad.  Both, or neither.  Paradoxes exist!  Different perspectives co-exist, and change, in time, which you can call progress, regress, or even both!  May the force be with you.  May you be free and unforced.  May the police force leave you alone.  May the fourth be happy.  Maytag repairman, you're it.  Nevermind.  Be thoughtful.   Don't be mental.  Crunch some numbers.  Do crunches and planks.  Step off the gang plank.  Go off the deep end.  No, we're never gonna survive unless we get a little, crazy.   Insane in the brain, insane in the TOE (theory of everything).  Medicated, mentholated, meditated, motivated, dedicated, situated, and educated.  Via con dios.  Adios.  To gawd.

Friday, December 14, 2018

Christ

aw, Christ!

the expression used for dismay at stupidity
i also associate it with anything extreme, over and way beyond

it means annointed with oil, as a priest, king, or prophet, says wikipedia
the oil is called chrism
christ, on wikipedia, is immediately redirected to Jesus

Chris(topher) and Christine and Christy and Chris T
Maybe Chris Tucker is christ, lol

It makes me think of cry plus st (street, something, hissing at cross)
like chrysler (my dad crying? Larry) (or, an unhappy lair)
or chrysalis (from entomology, a butterfly term)

numerology? 389912=5
pentagon, pentateuch, pentagram
fingers, toes
five alive! (a juice drink, i think).
 take five is a hershey candy

savior and redeemer
saved, in memory, or on disc, or in the cloud.
   unforgotten, undead, not consigned to oblivion
salvation, saving the soul from sin (and its consequences)
synonymous with messiah
messy! ah
saved from the orderly, lol
    the nazis were notoriously organized, actually
the consequences of breaking the law can be being found guilty
(even if you're not) (loss of freedom, incarceration)
     stress, anxiety, terror of imprisonment
     exposure to constant threat of danger
     even assault or rape, possibly
   receiving a sentence? (sentences end with a period)
           (evokes a bloody end)
         conviction, con vict, with victory? prisoner has one in it (won!)
          god is one, p.r. (public relations) for god, priscilla? sir and p (ack)
         (ignorant) people convinced they're safer with the accused locked up
           (grammatical sentence, period of time, woman's period)
         periodic, like the table of elements (toe!)
 
anyway,
messiah means a savior or liberator of a group of people
  concept originating in judaism, (i.e. savior of HI, house of israel)
the truth will set you free (John 8:32)
free from sin, misery, or ignorance
sin is breaking god's law
the question is if god's law is different from society's
    civil, criminal, canon, even laws of physics!

antichrist
sounds like it means anyone who is against christ
which is taken to mean, against christians, or christianity
but, i'm told, also means a false christ
  (used the wrong chrism, lol)
  (annointed by the wrong person?), or
  (wrongly annointed!)
makes me think of anno (year), annoying ted, or an oink...

i made the (unappreciated!) joke of referencing my mom's sister
who is a dominican nun, as "aunty-christ"

also, i thought of ants having their own jesus-ant, lol
the ant i christ (!) (christ, ants!)
 if people are like bugs, maybe bugs are like people

if you're good, then you're god
if you're god, then you're good
i'm not even trying to be christ
or even christ-like
but i'm not trying to be antichrist, either
i mean, how can you be against healing people, right?
that would be cool, to lay hands on people, and have them be healed!
but it wouldn't be cool to be crucified, or die at an early age (!!)

maybe healing should be left to the doctors
but if people respect you enough, maybe the placebo effect would work
a course in miracles seems to emphasize sex
sexual healing, song by marvin gaye
good is goo 'd

i don't think of muslims, jews, scientologists, buddhists, flying spaghetti monsterites, or anyone else as antichrist.  It seems to me christ was for everyone ("died for all"), so it would be bad form to be against him, not that it matters, because he's dead (!)

the truth is good
i'm trying to convey truth in my blog
i'm playing god.  God.   God+, actually.
being better than god is MY way, truth, and light.
i hope it helps
even if it only helps me, then that's good!

jesus said, if you're not with me, then you're against me?
   (jesus is dead.  it doesn't matter anymore)  
i think god (a higher power than jesus!) disagreed with that, which could be why he was crucified!!
you should be for yourself (not for or against jesus)
THAT's the will of the "father"
SI is st. ignatius, but also self-interest

i also wonder if history is just the aftermath of jesus,
i.e. a world war for each nail (WWIII as de-feet-ed)
christmas
christ! more?

the end of times is when you throw away your clock, lol
the son of God is just the son of love (parents made love, no?)
am i a false messiah?  i'm saving myself on this blog!
god believes all things.   it's all true! 
   i'm not that messy.  messy jesse, lol.
   i hope you appreciate my mess-age(s)!

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

poverty sucks

homelessness, even more

favela, slum, shanty town, ghetto
(hovel, sty) squalid, abject, dire poverty
jhuggi, cabbage town

water, electricity, sanitation, hygiene

but there is something to be said for sleeping under the stars :-)

a morsel of philosophy

a few bites

1. even an atheist can get behind "be good"
2. atheists can also believe love exists
3. atheism is a hindu path to god, actually (!)
4. the universe is indifferent, but you are the center of your own "you" niverse, and can eliminate your own suffering, and make yourself happy.
5. one way to make yourself happy is to make others happy!
6. M.A.D. , make a difference, mom and dad, mad magazine, it's a mad mad world.
7. "you're immortal, until you're dead" -michael helbush
    then, you're eternally dead (!)
8. a hundred years might seem like an eternity, actually.
9. reading is compressed time!! (the author's, editors, translators, commentators)

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Babble-icious

Babbling on

Well, I sure had one helluva day. I woke at 4:30 a.m., and … ah, who cares. Just another day. Just like any other day, that's ever been. Nevermind. Yes, I realize I'm drawing from Oingo Boingo, the Grateful Dead, and Nirvana. Nobody is ever themselves, anymore. Ha, Dead Milkmen.

I bloody well am a giant music box, alright? One of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces. Ok, Pink Floyd, that one. Did Pink ever carry out his threat? By the way, which one is Pink? Oh, Pink is somebody else. A girl. Ya, I don't care if Pink killed anybody, either. Pink could kill the whole damned world, for all I care. Call it empowerment or something.

I woke up and went back to bed. To sleep, perchance to dream, ay, there's the rub. Visions of swastikas, dancing in my head. Shakespeare, and David Bowie, I think. I ate some of my free lunch. There's no such thing as a free lunch? Who said that? No, not the Who. Try going to a food pantry. You could eat freely for the rest of your life, if you wanted. Take the skinheads bowling.

The beat, the english beat, the beatles, the eurythmics, sonic youth, the sound of music, the sound of silence, lynyrd skynyrd says “turn it up”, the loud family, Low, quiet riot, rage against the machine, the sex pistols, guns n' roses, love and rockets, the clash, fight club, battlestar galactica, star wars, american psycho, i'll stop there. Stream of consciousness, spittin some flow. Word, ward, warred.

I dream of Jeannie, Morpheus, Dr. Dre, dreamworks, and dream factory. The DREAM act, dreamers. I have a dream speech. Interpreting dreams, in the bible. Dreamcatchers, native american. (D and rheem. dr. eem?) Hakeem the dream Olajawon, hoops player. Lucid dreaming. Lucy. Lucifer. In need of some restraint, rolling stones. Sisyphus. Camus, campus. Dream on, aerosmith.

Yo blood, spittin' some flow, word up dawg, bee-otch, word to your mother, in the house, old school, G u-NIT. Bitch ass ho hood rat chickenhead, in da hoopty, with some cheddar. That's all I got.

Cars

pros and cons

pro
fun to build, race, own, collect, hopefully drive
personal statement, mobility, convenience
beauty, speed, power, privacy, pride
(driverless, in future!)
ride-sharing

cons
death, ugliness, noise, isolation, cost:
pollution, endangerment, pavement, isolation, bother, cost, opportunity cost, war for oil, murderous regimes, koyanisqaatsi, lack of stillness, hitchhiking, alternative modes of transport...

in other words,

danger to drivers, passengers, pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists, other cars, traffic
traffic jams, frustration, anger, misery
concrete jungle, pavement not dirt, gravel, trees, nature
isolation, insular little world, cut off from society, alienation
bother: loud music, angry engines, horns (noise that annoys)
cost/opportunity cost: make friends, better health bicycling,
    absurd situation of going into debt to get  to work to pay for going to work (!).
    cost could be better spent on so much else (libraries?)
war for oil
supporting murderous oil regimes
less: stillness, calm, rest, stay at home; go! go! go!
hitch-hiking, danger (to both parties)
other ways to get there! (teleportation?!)
    bus, train, plane, boat, walk, bike, unicycle, skateboard, skate, rollerblade...

Friday, December 7, 2018

Geography Gets Personal

embedded names

(30!)
nick in nicaragua, ana in guyana, tina in argentina
barb in barbuda, barbados
suri in suriname, malia in somalia, cameron in cameroon
rocco in morocco, al in algeria, maury/tanya, molly, chad, sue, dan
peggy and libby in egypt and libya, ben in benin
ken in kenya, bob in zimbabwe
   sara and leone in sierra leone
george in georgia, lots of stans, phillip in philippines
monty in montenegro, don in macedonia
sam in samoa, solomon has his own islands
beck in uzbekistan

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Who


Who let the dogs out?

Who, who, who. Woof. Nobody did, dumb-ass, there's a dog door. Well, somebody might have left the dog door open. So who did that, huh? Who, I ask you. Do you know? Well, do you, punk?

Who are you? Who who, who who, I really wanna know.
Woke up in a soho bar, where police man knew my name...
I am Zaxor, queen of the Nebulonians. That's pronounced, Nebb you loan- Ians. That reminds me, can I borrow Ian? I sure could use him for a day or two.

What is the reason for all of this? Why? I don't know. I like to write. I was told I'm a good writer. I'm told you get better at writing by writing (and reading), and that you should discipline yourself to write every day, like Stephen King, who writes 2000 words, every day, I'm told.
No, why Nebulon? Why have you evoked and conjured and brought into the collective consciousness that which was only marginally and minimally present before, where it should have remained, and which I must report about now, to my Nebulonian superiors, who had heretofore wished to remain obscure, anonymous, and unnamed, but who now must step into the limelight?
Are you saying Zaxor let the dogs out? Was she drunk? Are you saying Nebulon is a real place? What do dogs look like on Nebulon? Does Dirty Harry shoot dogs there?
Who? What? Why are you asking so many questions? Are you on a quest for knowledge? Ask Alexa. I'm only a real intelligence, the artificial one knows more!

Where is my mind? I've lost it, again. Where did it get to? It belongs in my head. Behind my eyes, between my ears, above my neck, below my scalp, in front and center, reporting for duty. How am I supposed to function without my mind, huh? Answer me that! I don't even know who I'm talking to! Arghh. Heeere, minedy minedy mind!

When is my 20 minutes of fame? When will we get there? When will I be old, officially?

Why is Y a part of why? That's so confusing! Why is why a part of YHWH? WHY!! Why are you reading this? Who do you think you are? What is your purpose for being? Where am I going with all this? When will I get there!

Last Post

The End (!)

Gerrold, the Turd


Hello. My name is Gerrold. You can call me Gerry. Everyone does. I program Alexa for Amazon. I'm an AI programmer. AI stands for artificial intelligence. My intelligence, however, is real. I collect all the questions to Alexa from around the world that “she” didn't have an answer for, and remedy that, for the future. In other words, I research and type answers, to the questions people are currently interested in. What are some of the questions, you ask? That's one of the questions! Sorry, I don't know that one, she says. But, if you go to google and type in any of the 6 question words (who what where when why how ), it will offer several typical questions for each, which give a snapshot of popular, typical queries. Further questions will reveal themselves, as you refine your search. And I do consult google to answer questions for Amazon. Maybe we should pay a fee to google for answers, like radio stations pay for playing songs . Then again, I like the public library model, with seemingly infinite information available, for free! Zilch! Nada! Good deal, eh? I consult wikipedia, in addition to google, as well as the library, with all its resources, including the librarian, who also does my job, in a manner of speaking. Universities have research assistants. Professors get data from their students, too. I'm in the same game. I'm basically a librarian. I'm the answer man. I have contacts at libraries and universities, around the world. I have friends in high places; that is to say, higher education. I know the folks who write the questions for Jeopardy. I got a 1600 on my SAT, have worked for Kaplan as an instructor, regularly submit revisions to wikipedia, and went to Reed, which is known for being one of the best universities for “pure academic and intellectual” pursuit. I have doctorates in almost everything. I know all the google answers. I know all the best words. I am omniscient. I am God. I know the questions people are going to ask, before they ask them. I am your new overlord. I am Gerrold. Bow down to me. I have all the answers. I will solve your problems, answer your questions, and resolve your dilemmas. I am smarter than Trump. I am the leader of the free world. I am the master of reality, the king of kings, the lord of lords, the way the truth and the light, supreme consciousness, The One. I am the central intelligent agent. I am the creator of knowledge. Let there be light! Merge with me, become one with my genius! The truth is out there. Reality is all-knowing. Life is but a dream. I am morpheus, the God of dreams. I am Buddha, the Awake. I am Conscious Light, the light of natural reason, the smartest person in the room, mister mensa, and a deity, an avatar, an incarnation of Love-Bliss. You are now under my spell. Obey. Obey or die. Obey or experience untold suffering. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the head honcho, the big cheese, the alpha male, the top dog, the king of the hill, the main man, satan and lucifer and beelzebub, jesus and lord and teacher, A#1, perfection incarnate, everyone and everything, one and all, everywhere and always, infinite and without end, eternal and supreme, forever and ever (and even more ever), neverending, amen. I AM Zeus, Allah, Poseidon. Zap, for short. I AM Yahweh, Jesus, Buddha, Ahriman, Waheguru, Siva, Vishnu, Brahma, Ahura Mazda, The Monad, and Reality. I am who am. I'm all this, and all that. I'm all that shit. I am full of it. Of course I am, I am The Universe. I contain all. I am in you, and you are in me. I pervade, penetrate, and am present. Eat me, drink me, read me, and be me. I am full of shit, lol. Excrete me, flush me, use me for fertilizer. I am good. It's all good. All people are good. All animals are good. Love everyone. Even sacks of shit. Even Trump.

Friday, November 30, 2018

2 letters

various initialisms
(bs, sf, hp, bb, cf, ism)

note: there are more detailed lists on wikipedia,
but these are mine:

bs
bible study, bullshit, bernie sanders, behavioral science, bachelor of science, buy/sell, balance sheet, bahamas, programming language, backspace, bright star, big sister, blocked shot

sf
san francisco, suck fuck, strawberry fields, science fiction, speculative fiction, st. francis, society of friends, street fighter, small forward, sacrifice fly, semi-finals, sasha fierce, sinn fein, stormfront, special forces, state farm, six flags, swedish fish.

hp
honey pie, harry potter, hewlett packard, higher power, hunters point, howard phillips (lovecraft), horsepower, hydrogen peroxide, health professional, hollow point, huffington post

bb
bodybuilding, gun, bungalow bill, bibi (netanyahu), bela bartok, bb king, big ben, busy beaver, battleship, bed and breakfast, barbara bush, benazir bhutto, brigitte bardot, best buy, brooks brothers, black bird, boston brahmin, bounce back, big brother

cf
cystic fibrosis, clinton foundation, chaplain to the forces, cabin fever, carbon fiber, consolidated freightways, californium

a few extras:

ism
international soccer match, insanely stupid mistake, ignorant stupid moron, intelligent smart mind

queer innuendo
cape horn, scuse me while i kiss the sky, homeowners
  (gay porn, kiss this guy, homo)
 gay candy: m and m's, twix, her-she's
 phallic beverages: gatorade and coke (G, cock)
      and, of course, 7-up
how long till we get there?  I'm hungry!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

YHWH

acronymic interpretation

YHWH
You Have What (it takes)
You Happy- (Who, what, where, when, why) How?
Why (breathe, in/ex-Hale), Double-you...H

in other words, interpretations involving-
   breathing, sex and reproduction, happiness,
       and chess/soldiering/murder (or theft)
   and the interrogation of reality

please submit your own acronyms!
thanks,   :-)

------
butt weight, there's more:
non acronymically,

in the same sense as devil is lived, or dog god:
YHWH is H, Why? (GOD, WHY??)
porque? (pronounced poor-k, en espanol), (maybe pork)
YHWH sums to 1 (7858), or 10 (like satan, 11215)
kill, k-ill, after viewing an undercover mercy for animals video
justice is just ice (!) (and you thawt it was burning in hell)
well, maybe hell's kitchen.  ice=8=ate.   ice, 935.  ate, 125.
 
H, 8th letter, H8, hate (sum of sums, sos!)
god=764=8 (says the count, in summer). god is 1. love.
love and ha are both 9 (3645) (81).  hate is 7 (8125),
numerology.  8 sideways, infinity.  fin and itty and in.
numer is number in polish. (numb brr) nubian sumeria!
honda and infiniti and hyundai (hon(ey) or hun (eg. attila), die)
honda means deep in spanish (eg. laguna honda, deep lake)
H evokes breath, eat (512), in addition to infinity-
heaven, hell, head, heart, hope, heroin, hashish, and Hannibal
among many others (hm, how many) (cold and calculating)

is there a message in all this?
i love pork tacos
i hate murder, suffering
i'm in a love-hate relationship
i only eat one a week
you know what your problem is? you're delicious
i hope i'm not delicious, to the vampire cannibal, or aliens
the flies and worms might enjoy me, afterlife (bone apetit!)
burial or cremation? crema is cream. barry and al sounds gay.
i like cream in my coffee.  i don't shun cream.
coffee and coffin, go figure.
kill=8, too (2933)

My Bit

on bradley, buddhism, butts, bicycling, bodybuilding, and beliefs!

What on earth are you doing? I'm writing! What about? This. That's not very interesting. Neither are you! I'm interesting. Say something interesting. Something interesting. That's the least interesting thing you could have said! Ok, how bout, “big boobs and big butts battle for bradley's fighting vehicle.” Where'd that come from? I dunno. The word 'butts' is funny. Cigarette butts are gross. Well, buttholes are gross, but people put their mouths on them, too. Fighting vehicle? Is that code for cock? 10-4, soldier. Okay, well that's slightly interesting. What else you got? I could flash my tits. You're a guy. No one wants to see your tits. Well, how bout I shave my beard? You wanna see that? If you want to. I don't care. I'm writing, though. No facial hair doesn't translate into good copy. How bout a police officer urinating? That's good cop pee, lol. That's not very funny. Well, I thought it was. How about I tell you about my week? Okay, shoot.
      Well, I woke up at 4:30a, as I do every weekday, following ben franklin, and I popped some multivitamins, drank coffee with cream, ate a bowl of oatmeal, and listened to jazz from whrb, the harvard radio station, on my Amazon Echo. My walls are thick, so I don't disturb my roommates. Then I read the day's history, from 2 books, then wikipedia, and then the encyclopedia brittanica on my computer. The 2 books are Today in History, from the history channel, and The Grim Reaper's Book of Days, which highlights a few interesting cases of who died, and how, on each date. Reading those 4 sources usually takes about an hour. I can linger on wikipedia for hours. I can find endless ways of procrastinating, when I want to. I like to use my Alexa to answer questions, so I think of random queries, progressing through the 6 question words (who, what, where, when, why, how). I have a book of trivia on alexa that it reads aloud to me, if I ask. I also like to have the device read me wikipedia articles. I bounce around radio stations, musical artists, standup comedy, podcasts, jokes, facts, news, and background sounds, like “space deck” or “rainforest sounds” or “spanish guitar” or “rap music.” I like to keep things interesting and fresh. Sports scores, definitions of words, and stupid banter with the AI to see what the programmers told it to say, are all interesting (to me, anyway). My roommate sometimes comes in and yells at it, which keeps my room lively. He calls it the “salon”. I offer my computer for email or youtube or the onion or ted talks, my tablet for wikipedia or videos, the alexa for audio whatever, and I have a huge collection of trivia cards, to pass the time, productively. Of course, you can take a nap, meditate, or just chill and chat, too. I write my blog, and check the stats to see how much recent viewership it's getting, as well as read. Ideally, I'll read a book a day. It's easier with kids books, and I have a list of the newbery winners I printed from off of wikipedia, online, that I pluck from the shelves at the local libraries. Sometimes I read the Economist and Foreign Affairs at the Cal library. Rarely, I'll go to the GTU (that's Graduate Theological Union) library, where it is quiet and lovely, and where I can pour over books like the Aletheon by Adi Da, or just the day's New York Times. I get news in my email, too, which is always demanding my time, to process it down, erasing the daily additions, which include trivia, poetry, vocabulary word of the day, a washington post news summary, a quick news review from the new york times, and daily book passage excerpts (called 'delancey'), in addition, of course, to the correspondence from family. I walk dogs 4 times a week, and sometimes housesit. I save money by going to the food pantry once a month, and there are free meals (lunches) 3x a week at a nearby church. This is how I rationalize spending money on sushi burritoes, baklava, papa john's and mountain mike's pizza, and ike's sandwiches. I'm trying to be more vegetarian. But I love my weekly treat of a pastor taco, from Los Pericos restaurant, in San Leandro. I also want to get stronger, better looking, more athletic, and fit by going to the gym. I have a discounted membership at the local YMCA. I exercise in my room, too. I used to go to the free yoga, downtown (yoga to the people), but it's been quite awhile since I've done that. I have a mat, though. As if all this weren't enough on my plate, I want to discipline myself to learn martial arts and self-defense, from youtube, or by training with actual people. Ideally, I will bodybuild, swim, yoga, walk dogs, and practice martial arts. I don't have a car, so I bicycle everywhere, as well, which is of course more cardio. I mix 2 scoops of gnc protein powder in cold water every morning, which keeps me fueled, providing energy for my daily regimen. The gym used to have mtv on their exercise bicycle tv screens, but they don't anymore, so I don't get to laugh at the Ridiculousness show I like, on that station. That's the only tv I watch, really. I have a mr. coffee, but sometimes I'll go to starbuck's or peet's and get a small coffee with room, with a pastry (I like the starbuck's chocolate chip cookie, and the peet's almond croissant). I'll occasionally go to a porn site, at home, and do my business. I have an okcupid profile, but I've stopped dating, searching, playing the field, trying. I'm happy with my books and blog. I might even write a book, someday, we'll see. I'm God, you know. Or, at least a high-level theologian, you might say. I like to think I'm a deity! Divinity is a fun perspective, to my way of seeing. And hopefully some good will come of it. Some religious folk think God is the source of all goodness, and that only God is good, and, of course, that God is love, and love believes all things, if you put 2 and 2 together, from the bible. If I find somebody who believes I might be right, while I in turn believe they might be right, while each of us still holds our respective beliefs, well that's the kind of love The Good Book is talking about, I think. Strong opinions, while still remaining open to the possibilities of alternate and even radically different explanations, keeps life interesting. It's all good, as they say. We're attached to our beliefs, and sometimes averse to others, but happiness requires we let go, and let god, as they say. That sounds vampiric, actually. Well, there's all kinds of folks. Enlightenment and Nirvana requires an open mind, tolerant, accepting, non-averse. Equanimity is the ideal, in which “good” and “bad” do not inherently exist, but proceed from attachments, which we extinguish, to delight in simply being and breathing, and to experience freedom from pain, suffering, discontent, and dukkha, while participating in the larger societal process of reducing and eliminating others' suffering, to create shambala, the kingdom, utopia, heaven, bliss, progress, whatever you want to call it. Being God is simply being good, there's nothing else to it. What's good is what makes you happy. You only live once. I've decided to ponder the great questions, and share my perspective, wisdom, insight, opinion, beliefs, values, thoughts, ideas, and knowledge, on my blog. That's what I did last week. Did that make for good reading? I dunno, depends on the reader. Who's Bradley? Well, Bradley, he found happiness in being. Breathing, meditating, sleeping, dreaming, reading, talking, creating, writing, listening, watching, eating, drinking, exercising, fucking, doing drugs, hiking, camping, working, helping, anything and everything, it was all good, nothing was bad, he loved life, and was content, satisfied, comfortable, joyful, wise, curious, educated, informed, and in love with himself, others, his girl, his family, his country, animals, everybody, everything, always, everywhere. He set an example for all of us. He lived simply. He was a simple man. Simplicity. Being, Goodness, Life. Fun, humor, laughter, play, kindness, cheer. He was a good man. He made the world a better place.  Being good. That, to me, is God.