well, here I am. Somewhere else. Nice place, here. Back to the old space, in 2 days. That’s nice, too. I’ll be back. Little variety, good for the soul. Spice of life. I’m listening to stoner rock. But I’m not stoned. I had some cookies, lol. Still good music. My mind is a weird place. I take my nightly psych meds, before I go to sleep. I didn’t, 2 nights ago. Better dreams, actually. But probably not a good idea to maintain. The world is madness when I’m off meds. Is one way of putting it. Others like to take drugs to get crazy. I take them to get sane. So it goes. I take zyprexa and risperdal (olanzapine and risperidone). Good ol’ Kaiser. Still, I wonder what would happen if I went off them. I’ve been down that road. There’s something to be said for authenticity, in any case.
But what if I went mad? In prison or worse. Or got high, and even crazier than usual? Or did something crazy, like fuck a man, or a girl? Or ate a ton of sugar, and got diabetes? Or wrote a book by the Devil? That sounds fun, actually. Murder and mayhem, sex and drugs, and some alternative religion of hate, cruelty, warcrimes, and wickedness. The depths of depravity, from the depths of my so-called soul. What if I went to church, and heckled the priest? Or assassinated some pos political figure? Or cannibalized some tasty citizen? Or tortured someone in a personal dungeon? A monster. A dinosaur, come to life. Welcome back, you beast.
I could try and systematically break every single law. Fuck animals and rape old ladies and bomb buses and travel the world, committing every heinous act of every conceivable moral or ethical system. Do all evil at every opportunity, basically. Vary my MO, keep ‘em guessing. Be as depraved and rotten as possible. Be all you can be, says the DOD. Well, alright. A little sniper action is good for what ails ya. Exploding skulls and all. Get into the spirit of Christmas. It’s only human. A stone-cold killer. Offing people left and right. Have a blast. Happiness is a warm gun, mama. Chop! Chop!
Wait. There’s an alternative, here. Better angels have something to say. Obey all laws. Or, even better, do good at every opportunity. As virtuous as possible. Live and let live. Make the world a better place. Heavenly, in fact. Put evildoers behind bars. Make the world safe for everyone. Even the criminals. Inspire people to be all they can be, in pursuit of paradise. Spread peace and love. Make people happy, laugh, smile, sing, dance, play. And pleasure, like massage or sex. Consensual, heterosexual, adult, marital, procreative sex, champs! Just do it. Diplomats and comedians, making peace and joy. Teachers, knowledge. Cops and lawyers, justice.
The fact is, modern society doesn’t admit evil. Except in video games. Not unless you’re willing to be locked up. Or for the devil, who torments and tortures everyone, at every (legal) opportunity, except for the right of privacy, which doesn’t exist, for him. The mind is his dungeon. Or Putin, unless his overture for peace is genuine. Every thought is public. Every action, known. So be good for goodness’ sake!
SaDs: sad and depressed, sick and diseased, sickness and death, sorrow and despair, sex and drugs, stupid and dumb, sin and depravity, stormy and dark, satan and devil
social anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder, schizo-affective disorder, substance abuse disorder
Smiling smilodon, happy hippie, joyful Joyce, blissful sister, cheery here, love above, fun with guns, sometimes sin is sane, virtuous merch, holy smokes, bless this mess, play on the bay, games with names, content with Kent, dancing with Dan and Danielle, smiling Kyle, glad Gladys, singing with the king, laughing at the staff, satisfied with pie!
DAE
1. god, doesn't admit evil
2. devil, do all evil
3. both: disgust, anger, exasperation
David Andrew Eldridge, Daewoo,
and dark ambient electronica
dictionary of American English
hooked on ebonics
hookers, the other "fishers of men"
buddha dharma sangha, beelzebub devil satan
abbott and habit, rabbi and rabbit, spirit and stab it
time rot: the world chews you up and spits you out
slit your wrist, shit and pissed, spit a list (spit and spite)
head of household, head honcho, happy holidays, hanukkah, halloween
alienation, isolation, loneliness, solitude (what AILS ya)
mother moth, smothers brothers, babies by other mothers
SIRI, are you serious? that's stupid, ignorant, retarded, incurious
mad crazy insane, mindfulness concentration insight
untroubled by tribbles, toiling for toys
upset, on high; downcast, down under
Better Angels, lol (there's no angels! like centaurs, or griffins)
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