Umbrella Tent

What is this?

It’s not Christian.   I don’t believe in heaven.  Jesus is dead.   Souls don’t exist.  He’s not coming back.  And angels don’t exist, either.  Heaven and hell are love-bliss and torture, respectively, both on earth, while alive.  I mean, maybe it’s christian if the Pope agrees with me, or something.  I don’t imagine he does (or would say so, if he did)

It’s not Buddhist.  Buddhists believe in both impermanence and rebirths.  I think they’re confused.  Rebirth, or “born-again” is only when we wake up to a new day, for example, or start a new chapter in our lives, like becoming a parent, getting married, or whatnot  After you die, you’re dead, no hungry ghosts or whatever, okay?  Plus, Buddhist bliss, nirvana, seems to be wrapped up in silence, meditation, and deep realization, which to me stands in opposition to the enlightenment of every day life, going about your business in a messy, loud, surface-level world.   A world that reminds me of pinball, being bounced around from person, activity, thoughts, and ideas as things pop up.  I like both modes, and life is messy, so it’s good to do mind-maintenance by meditating, writing, and reading or listening to scripture.   As well as plunging into the madness of life.  Kind of a yin and yang, I guess.   Monkey mind and tranquility.   Life has its storms and its stillness, both.

    Well, maybe it is Buddhist.   Buddhism is a pretty wide umbrella, big tent.  But maybe I’m creating my own religion, with only one member, me.  That idea makes me happy.  Maybe I’ll find a wife who subscribes to the same tenets.   Not that I’d only marry one who did.   But that would be fun, I think.   I don't believe in karma, either.  There's a lot of undeserved, pointless suffering.

 

It’s not Muslim.   I’m not claiming to be Allah.  I read the Quran, and wasn’t impressed.  Islam is lame.  A little mosque is a mosquito, eh?  I don’t even remember what specifically I disagree with, because it was pretty much everything.  My voice (an attorney) says I’m law.   So maybe I AM ALL LAW.   Ha.  Teshara is close to Sharia.  So there.

It’s definitely not Jewish.  Like I’m a member of God’s chosen people.  With all those silly rules.  As if God would ever separate himself from all but 0.21% of humanity.   Less than 1 percent. And be so god-damn fucking absurd.  Jews think the (real) Messiah will eliminate all disease.   As if that’s even possible.

Am I atheist?  Depends which God I’m supposed to not believe in.  I believe in myself.  Maybe you think that makes me the devil.   Well, I think that makes me God.  And you can do the same thing.  Why would you submit to a ghost?  Or a priest?  Or anyone?  Be good, by your own lights.  Right?  

     I exercise godly degree of self-control in not killing every effing bastard I meet, basically everybody.   So I deserve to be worshipped for grace and mercy, from anyone I have the power to wipe off this god-forsaken planet, which is everyone (speaking for God?).  Okay?  God is the darkest of all.  Why would christians implore god to have mercy, if He wasn’t disgusted by them, didn’t want to kill ‘em all, right?  God is virtuous simply by doing nothing.  I get it.   

A puppet in the pulpit.  Salvation from salivation.  The messiah makes a mess.  The deity is die TY.   Y is christ on the cross (T).  Jesus in spanish is Hey Zeus.  Jess, U.   Jesse in spansh is also Isai.   Isa is Jesus in arabic.   I’m not quite speaking in tongues, but I’m getting there.  I’ve eaten a lengua (tongue) burrito.  And seso (brain).  And a scorpion, in China.  Salty and crispy. And an ant.  It was bitter, gross.  And a bite of a snake (chewy, like clam).  Anyway, have I said everything?  Ha.   I’ll read The Aletheon, by Adi Da, which purports to do just that.  Then I’ll write my bit, and maybe then, I can claim the same.   We’ll see.  (They say he died on the last day of writing it).  Maybe I'm a part of Adidam.

I want to live a thousand years.  Maybe forever (or maybe not, lol).  But 100 is just too few.  Aging sucks.  I want to stop aging.  I’m already losing vision.  Life is fun.  There’s a zillion things I want to do.  I could do the first zillion in my room.  Everyone dies.   Sigh.  Oh well.