If tribbles could talk

Tribble Babble, fuzzy logic

Imbibe with the tribe. Bible libel. Habit rabbit. Jump around! I am the U.   Paid by the word. A penny for your thoughts. Page wage. Pop the babble bubble. Artistic and literary merit of a page of shite. Pure shite. What is shite? It's what the Brits call shit. If you can spit it. The live tv program reacts to my thoughts. I am interacting with the people on tv, as if they were actually in the room with me. I am not a passive audience. They are speaking to me, specifically. They say code words like suggJESTion or inJEST or joking, aka in jest, to clue the audience to my presence. I am deeply insane. Everybody wants my opinion. I get phone calls from opinion serveys from Chicago. I am in Berkeley. Why are they calling me? Is it because I'm God? Ha.   I'm actually not God.  I'm better than God. I make myself laugh. That doesn't mean the devil, you idiot. It means I'm everybody, everywhere, always. The sinners, the saints, the whole ball of wax.  Not! I'm just my body.  Or...am I? The birds, the bees, the trees, the earth, I'm worth Trillions. My net worth is all the fish in the ocean. I'm nutty, like a macaroon. People eat me, with every meal. I'm all the food and drink. I'm water, I'm wine, I'm soda, I'm gatorade, I'm beer, I'm kombucha, I'm smoothies, I'm juice, I'm milk, I'm hot chocolate, I'm chocolate milk, I'm protein shakes.... I'm hamburgers, I'm pizza, I'm sandwiches, I'm burritos, I'm sushi, I'm bagels, I'm nachos... I'm every book: I'm wikipedia, I'm ….yes, anything. Google. Facebook. A grain of sand. A planet. A star. A black hole. The electromagnetic spectrum. Satan. An ant. Buddha. A zebra. The flying spaghetti monster. A pangolin. I have the sanity of a manatee. I have the thirst of the worst. I eat beets. I defeat meat. I am a wimpy chimp. I am a fat cat. A pet hog. A pollywog. I jog with the dog. I drink eggnog with the frog. I stare at the bear. I fear the leer. I walk the talk. I jump on her rump. I dance with fancy pants. I rant about cunt. I stunt with a runt. My heart is on Bart. I start with a fart. I spit on my shit, go sit on a pit. I hate being late. I'm great, you never have to wait. Rate your date. Rhyme time. Parsley with Elvis. Sage with Nicholas. Rosemary with Rosemarie. Thyme with criminals. Tired of being fired. Energized by synergy. Skunky punk. Hanky panky. Wicky whack. Whaddup dawg!? I'm chewy, said Chuy. I'm Jesus, said Jess. I'm artificially intelligent, said IsAI. I'm evil said the whale. I kill krill. Yum, said the muy hambre hombre. Eat my taco. The christian leader of his church ate a pastor taco. If you seso. Mm, brain, said the zombie. Zombies go to taquerias, it's true. I am me, and I am you. I am the walrus, kookookachoo. I am acid, I am meth, I am mushrooms, I am breath. I am filling the page with madness, I say. Mom and dadness. Meat and drinkness. MAD magazine-ness. Anger and hatred and rage and wrath and fury. Insane in the membrane. The psychiatrist said to his patient (dressed only in saran wrap), I can clearly see (your/you're) nuts! The blue diamond truckers really drive me nuts! MCI was a mad crazy insane telecommunications company. Trojan brand condoms is a cum-pany. Sex six times? Are you insane? Stuff socks in your sax! This shit sucks! Be quiet, choir! Thanks, Tom Hanks! Christ, Chris Tucker! Jeezus, Cletus. Room go boom. Bomb go Obama. Blast from the past. Trump up your rump. The will to kill. I've had my fill of chlorophyll. Plants dance. The car in Dakar. I hate Nate. I like Ike. I love Duv. I'm friends with Ben. Joy dish soap makes me bubbly. Effervescent mood, champagne -dude!! Jiggle it, just a little bit. Toilets should not be toil or toys or lit on fire or have oil in them! Toilets are full of shit! Your dad is a mother fucker. Vacuums suck! Your doctor is a master of disaster. Corpses are rotten. The SAT is sick and twisted. Evil is vile. Elvis lives. Death is hated. Earth is filled with haters. Dum as mud. Dead as a door nail. You heart art, eh? D'bum is dumb. The little drummer boy goes ba-rump-a-bum-bum. He gets his ass beat, to the rhythm. I am Stu. Last name Pid. I am Idi. Idi Amin. You thought I would say Ot. Dumb-ass. Neurons in my ass. Spank the bank, it stole your money. Funny money. The monkey has the monk's key. How is the monk supposed to get in? With money? Take the k out of the trunk. Ketamine. Special K cereal. A serial killer on K. I go on and on. Goons and moons on the Dune of Arakis. Dune k, do neck. Stupid poop. Dumbshit. Foolish ghoulish. Evil knievel. Wicked picket. Sticky wicket. Retarded lard ass. A new jew. An old hold on a nook book. Study with studs. Learn with Patrick O' Hearn. Remember the campfire embers. Burn your fern. Filthy lucre for some eucharist. Church merch. You can't spell forgiveness without an orgy. Funeral fun. Death heat'd. Word ward. Cram into sacramento. Bye.