Astrological Sign Personality Characteristics

Astrology from a Virgo

I learn by writing and researching, and I've lived my 36 years never really knowing much about astrology. I'm a Virgo, and I've married an Aquarius, relationships between us for which it is said to be incompatible for the Aquarius and 50-50 for the Virgo. I hate that crap. I say Astrology be damned. Damn the torpedoes, as the first Admiral of the U.S. Navy said, Admiral David Glasgow Farragut (anagram: ragtag vigor adds awful). (If you were wondering, the torpedoes were tethered mines, and they didn't explode, allowing him victory). There mos def ARE torpedoes. I am not about to blame the stars, or even the astrologers, though. All in all is all we are. Everybody's essentially the same, in my book, despite our differences. Or, at least, we were created equal.. Some of them want to abuse you...

We're in the age of Pisces-Virgo, and in 600 years we'll be in the age of Aquarius-Leo, to be a bit hippy dippy. Each age last 2160 years. So, it they're right next to each other in the long view of time, then Sara and I can stick together too. As a typical Virgo, I want to systematically collect all the personality descriptors for each of the twelve signs. Of course, I know I should just know the birthdays of a lot of people, and start making connections, which I guess is how it's supposed to work.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't work, though, or only works because the astrology tradition exists in the first place, telling young and unformed children what they are supposedly like. There has been research showing people will identify with any of the signs, in the newspaper's daily horoscope, if shown without the zodiac sign. Did you know you can get an advanced degree in astrology from an Indian university?

There's symbolism for 5 classical planets, the sun and moon, and the 3 furthest out modern planets, including Pluto, which recently got downgraded out of planethood to mere ... I say it's madness, but it is an interesting way to get people into personality psychology, and astronomy at the same time. After all, there are a BILLION TRILLION stars in the universe to influence us. And if the planets are so powerful, then what about Pluto and moons of planets, some of which are bigger than other planets?

Belief in astrology remains widespread, with 31% of Americans believing in it and according to another study 39% considering it scientific. Jung once said "astrology represents the summation of the psychological knowledge of antiquity." Apparently, a lot of us are still in the dark ages.

The twelve signs of the zodiac, in "order," are Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces. That's ATGCLVLSSCAP. There's two A's, C's, L's, and S's. ACGLPSTV, in alphabetical order. VAST CLAP CLS G, if you want to make a vaguely comprehensible sentence out of it. I think of the big bang calling G. ATGC are easy to remember, though, from the list of DNA bases. But never mind all that. If you start processing people according to their astrological personalities, it will come alive.

Words create a lot of astrological possibility, though. There's a lot of words that can be made from the initials of zodiac signs, like AT, AS, ASS, LASS, CLASS, SAT, CAT(s), SCAT, TAGs, CAL, LASTs, SALTs, CAPs, LAPs, PALs, GALs, LAGs, SLAG, VAST, PASCAL, PAST, PATs, LAVA, GAS, GAPs, SLAPs, SPAT, TAPs, APT. You can spell your way into an interesting threesome or something. I'm sure there are quite a few initialisms or acronyms that could be made. ATGC are also adenine, tyrosine, guanine, and cytosine, the bases in dna.

There are a lot of different astrology systems. In effect, in most Western astrology the link between sign and sky constellation has been broken. So, it's purported to be true, even though it's a game, I guess. What a joke.

In modern Western astrology the signs of the zodiac are believed to represent twelve basic personality types or characteristic modes of expression. The twelve signs are divided into four elements fire, earth, air and water. They are also divided into three qualities, cardinal, mutable and fixed. That's NOT 144 possibilities. It's still only 12. The personality traits of the twelve signs are as follows:

- Aries (The Ram) (fire, cardinal, personal): Keyword: "I am". Freedom-loving, assertive, individualistic, independent, intellectual, pioneering, leader, action-oriented, fiery, straightforward, passionate, powerful. Can be extreme, arrogant, intemperate, violent, headstrong, impulsive. From dates March 21st to April 20th. There's a Dodge Aries. The Aries is a river in Transylvania, Romania. There's a villainous Zodiac group in Marvel comics, with 4 incarnations, and all the Aries' used horns on their head to ram their opponents. They say Jesus was an Aries. Al Gore is. Letterman, Conan are. Marcel Marceau was.

- Taurus (The Bull) (earth, fixed, personal): Keyword: "I have". Resourceful, thorough, devoted, patient, sensual, affectionate, cautious, musical, artistic, solid, earthy, strong, sturdy, kind. Can be slow, possessive, stubborn, acquisitive, indulgent. From dates April 21st to May 21st. There's a Ford Taurus. Taurus is also a Swedish/German missile and a Brazilian gun manufacturer. Saddam Hussein was, and Uma Thurman and Jay Leno are.

- Gemini (The Twins) (air, mutable, ): Keyword: "I think". Logical, inquisitive, lively, active, curious, multi-tasking, talkative, sociable, duality, mercurial, whimsical. Can be superficial, two-faced, inconstant, restless, impulsive, headstong, stubborn. From dates May 22nd to June 23rd. There's an Isuzu Gemini. Tell a Gemini their eyes sparkle. Gemini is also the title of a Japanese horror film with the theme of the brutally physical and animalistic side of human beings rearing its ugly head underneath a civilized veneer. Castor and Pollux ("he who excels" and "very sweet" are the mythological twins, upon whom the stars are named.) Castor and Pollux are also deeply psychotic and paranoid terrorists-for-hire in the movie Face/Off. Gemini is a song by an RnB artist named Israel (from Australia), and a two-faced sorcerer in the 80's animated tv show, Thundarr the Barbarian (anagram: hurrah! aberrant bandit). Clint Eastwood, Prince, Bush Sr., and Bob Dylan are.

- Cancer (The Crab) (water, cardinal, personal): Keyword: "I feel". Protective, sensitive, tenacious, family and home oriented, helpful, nurturing, watery, emotional, loving. Can be crabby, clinging, moody, worrying, pessimistic. From dates June 24th to July 22nd. Eat some crab! Besides the group of malignant diseases, it's also a British death metal band. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dubya, Courtney Love, OJ Simpson, and Tom Cruise.

- Leo (The Lion) (fire, fixed, social): Keyword: "I will". Generous, proud, theatrical, passionate, sunny, bright, kingly, powerful, loves attention, dramatic, independent, noble, creative, leader. Can be arrogant, bossy, boastful, egotistic, snobbish. From dates July 23rd to August 22nd. Both my parents are leo's. LT and PT. Drink some Hennessy and read an atlas. Besides the king of beasts, (which sounds like lyin'), it also stands for Law Enforcement Officer and Low Earth Orbit. Mick Jagger, J Lo, Bill Clinton, and Madonna. McCain and Barack are both Leo's.

- Virgo (The Virgin) (earth, mutable, social): Keyword: "I analyze". Practical, efficient, critical, work and service oriented, common sense, modest, health conscious, mentally active, helpful, flexible. Can be pedantic, fussy, over-critical, worrying, over fastidious. From August 23rd to September 22nd. Yup, that's me. We get a bad rap. Don't worry, be happy. Or, be afraid. Be very, very afraid, lol. Virgo's are 'the vehicle'. Maybe a RAV4. Virgo is also a comic character, an alien with psychic powers who uses advanced weaponry. The USS Virgo was an attack cargo ship and ammunition ship that served in WW2, Korea, and Vietnam. It served 22 years and 4 months, and was sold for scrap in '73. Virgos Merlot was a hard rock band that formed in '98, releasing only 'Signs of a vacant soul.' The Virgo detector for gravitational waves, located at the EGO (European Gravitational Observatory) in Italy, is quieter than space. Keanu Reeves, Macauley Culkin, Stephen King, Michael Jackson.

- Libra (The Scales) (air, cardinal, social): Keyword: "I balance". Co-operative, diplomatic, urbane, fair, needs partnerships, refined, balanced, graceful, charming, debative, just, open-minded, social. Can be lazy, indecisive, dull, rationalizing. From dates September 23rd to October 23rd. There's a Marvel Supervillain named Libra, who is blind and can travel to the "in-between places", a mystical dimension, untraceable to most life forms. Eminem, Bruce Springsteen, Jesse Jackson, Dennis Kucinich, and Joe Lieberman.

- Scorpio (The Scorpion) (water, fixed, social): Keyword: "I desire". Passionate, secretive, powerful, keenly perceptive, deep, complex, analytical, inquisitive, resourceful, magnetic, intense, hypnotic, sexual, perspicacious, creative, vigorous, untameable, ambitious. Can be jealous, controlling, possessive, aggressive, cunning, cruel. From dates October 24th to November 21st. There was a Ford Scorpio (in production '85-'98), for executives. The scorpio killer was the villain in Dirty Harry who wavers between ransom and seemingly killing for fun, who raped and buried a teenage girl alive. Scorpio is also the name of a movie, and the French assassin in that movie sent to kill a CIA operative suspected of treason. Bill Gates, Hillary, and John Cleese.

- Sagittarius (The Archer) (fire, mutable, universal): Keyword: "I perceive". Freedom loving, straightforward, extrovert, philosophical, intellectual, fun-loving, arrogant, adventurous, expansive, optimistic. Can be blundering, scattered, careless, jealous, too-serious, tactless. From November 22nd to December 21st. Sagittarius is also a comic character who is an alien with a centaur-like appearance with the horse-half mechanical. Aguilera, Spears, Jon Stewart, Noam Chomsky,

To make a connection to astronomy, there is a Sagittarius at the center of our Milky Way Galaxy. Many astronomers believe that there is evidence of a supermassive black hole there. Sagittarius A* is agreed to be the most plausible candidate for the location of this supermassive black hole. The Very Large Telescope and Keck Telescope detected stars orbiting Sgr A* at speeds greater than that of any other stars in our galaxy. One star, designated S2, was calculaled to orbit Sgr A* at speeds of over 5000 kilometers per second.

Of course, all speed is relative. If there's something going the speed of light away from you (like a photon), you're going the speed of light relative to it. Slow down, man! It makes me laugh when people are so absolute about the earth going around the sun. You could easily shift your perspective, and bam, the sun is going around the earth. It's the SAME THING, silly. It's just the explanations that get weird. Space goes on forever, so if you want to consider yourself the center of the universe, you go right ahead! Anyway, back to signs. Signs, signs, everywhere a sign.

- Capricorn (The Sea-goat) (earth, cardinal, universal): Keyword: "I use". Prudent, cautious, patient, methodical, practical, reserved, ambitious, authoritative, competent. Can be saturnine, suspicious, rigid, cunning, over-cautious, pessimistic. From dates December 22nd to January 19th. It's also a song by Motorhead from the album Overkill. Bust a cap. in his a--! The 1938 Henry Miller novel, Tropic of Capricorn, has the narrator working in the personnel division of the 'Cosmodemonic' telegraph company. Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, Mel Gibson, Howard Stern, and Eddie Vedder.

- Aquarius (The Water Carrier) (air, fixed, universal): Keyword: "I know". Democratic, unconventional, detached, friendship oriented, humanitarian, cause-oriented, believes in the group, society, progressive, sophisticated, objective. Can be eccentric, elitist, dogmatic, aloof. From dates January 20th to February 18th. I used to have an Aquarius computer. Aquarius is a kind of water strider. I read Camus, and there's a manga character called Aquarius Camus, which includes a character called Pope. Finally, it's a launch vehicle/rocket (from underwater). Camus' Stranger was like Jesus, in that it said, "For all to be accomplished, for me to feel less lonely, all that remained to be hoped was that the crowd would greet me with howls of execration." The existentialist described the universe as indifferent, and unity with the universe would therefore be sad. It reminds me of the Cowboy Junkies song, Good Friday, on Miles from our home, which ends "Enough of all this shit I am going."

- Pisces (The Fishes) (water, mutable, universal): Keyword: "I believe". Imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, feeling, idealistic, spiritual, accepting, undiscriminating, creative, mystic, self-sacrificing, artistic. Can be impractical, neglectful, escapist, lazy, distracted. From February 19th to March 20th. The Pisces comic character is depicted as a female fish-like alien, who is a skilled underwater combatant. The Smashing Pumpkins released Pisces Iscariot, with Honey Spider, and I am one, and Hello Kitty Kat on it. I, Jesse, 10 being, (4+6) forensics, JT, pi, P.I., investigated it. I once told someone, "if I can love a spider, I can love anyone." Did you know the daddy long legs is the most poisonous spider on earth? (but it's mouth is too small to bite us).

They claim, "How important a zodiac sign is for an individual depends on the placement of planets and the ascendant in that sign. If a person has nothing placed in a particular sign, that sign will play no active role in their personality. On the other hand a person with, for example, both the sun and moon in Cancer, will strongly display the characteristics of that sign in their make up."

I don't know why they start with Aries, in the middle of March. It's "I am" and that's the name of God, the supposed first mover or Creator or whatever, according to the OT. I am of the opinion that it's all mind control. All any of us really know for sure is "I am." So, the Jesuit goal of "seeing God in all things" is just a matter of existing (i.e. seeing yourself). Jesus is said to have been born in March.

In general, everything...EVERYTHING is mind control. That's my philosophy. "The hypnosis of everyday life", I heard a guy on the radio call it.

There's more personality traits listed in different places. It just gets...well, tedious. Everybody is different. Even if you are a figment of God's imagination, or something, like part of a program like the matrix. You can define yourself however you want. Mind over matter might make you. We are who we are. It shouldn't matter when your parents had sex, I think.