My Sunday Sermon

"Religion is for those who believe in hell, spirituality is for those who have been there." - David Bowie.

Obviously, the hordes of spiritual people have not been to an alternate plane or dimension or universe where the guilty or sinful suffer at the hands of satan, the lord of hell, the minion of madness, servant of God, where the damned suffer for all of eternity with wailing and gnashing of teeth for their wickedness and wrongdoing on this temporal plane. (!)

They have simply suffered.

Anyone who has suffered knows that God, who is love and good, and therefore loving, (although Bowie sang love is not loving), would not create a place of eternal damnation, although he obviously considers moments and even long stretches of time to be permissable, as paths to him.

Alright, I admit it. I don't believe a word of this. There is no God responsible for pleasure OR suffering, and I believe peer pressure created by historical memes is largely responsible for the "spiritual force" that demands we adhere to certain beliefs or else. You can of course believe whatever you want. It's supposedly a free country. You should be able to believe whatever you want, and be happy with whatever paradigm that is. But nooo!

In other words, I see most religion as a totalitarian, fascist, enslaving, system of psychological rewards and punishments to enforce belief in whatever dogma it may be. People with religion believe in hell, because religion IS hell. The only way to be happy, according to most religions, is to believe and subscribe and practice their system. That's not to say they don't work. They really can, and do. But I highly resent the spiritual reality that enforces their system at the expense of any other. Humans should be free. Religion should not restrictively define a path to freedom, no matter how passionate its believers may be.

So maybe you've graduated from religion to spirituality. Personally, I've graduated from spirituality to freedom. In other words, I've come to the realization that we all die, and we're all imperfect, and shit happens, and there is no God, and thus there's no morality, and therefore it's all good, although there IS law. Law is just an attempt to create safety and harmony, and justice. It is said, "you have the freedom to swing your fist, but it ends at the tip of my nose."

I say whatever. Do what thou wilt. You only live once. Do what makes you happy. Everyone for themselves. And that, my friends, includes the police and lawyers and lawmakers who feel compelled, for whatever reasons, to restrict the freedoms of themselves and the rest of us throught the force of law. Every cop IS a criminal. And, I would say, every criminal is pretty much a cop, enforcing their own sense of justice. I'm not saying the world is upside-down (although it is a globe, and there are people standing upside down opposite you at this very moment), it's just that it's a matter of perspective, and all perspectives are valid.

Enlightenment is seeing this, in my opinion. Live and let live, or live and let die, or even die and let live or die. Religion and law are mind control designed to spread memes of personal and historical conceptions of morality. I may sound amoral or even immoral. I can be, lol.

Speaking of "force" of law, the Star Wars conception of force is, for me, a very real reality, that restricts my thoughts, actions, and even speech. You may be familiar with it. I do not ascribe this force to God or any higher power. Perhaps obeying it is "better," in some sense, for either ourselves or others, by "god knows" what criteria. But I believe in freedom, above all else, and rebel against anyone in my head restricting me, and telling me what to do, by whatever means, subtle or no. I believe in sovereignty. I am a kind person, so I basically think this lack of freedom is unnecessary, if not evil. I suppose I should say I believe in love, above all else, but I do not, then, automatically roll over and offer myself as a servant to some unknown master, especially if that entity appears to me to be the jerk, to put it mildly, who delights in my torment.

I have a morality, and it is, I admit, based on my parental and Catholic upbringing, however much I may reject their authority in hindsight. I also, like I would guess most people do, think my own morality would make the world a better place if everyone subscribed to it. But I have the (wisdom?) to know that whatever is basically the only valid moral position to take, if however untenable.

Unfortunately (?), there are some paths that lead to greater happiness than others. You may have followed one, and perhaps consider the above somewhat sick. As I read my own words, I suffer head shocks. This can either mean a) I should change my beliefs, or b) I should get angry at the fascist reality that judges me for THINKING and TYPING (I'm not hurting anyone!) and act accordingly. Everyone seems to want rebellion, revolution, action, violence, hatred, life. That's what I'm doing. I am a kind person, and this stupid world keeps punishing me, goading me to explode. I DON'T WANT to hurt anyone. Please, just LEAVE ME ALONE. I have a right to my beliefs. Stop hurting me.

Maybe I should change my beliefs, and be Muslim, or whatever. WHATEVER. I love who I am, as I am, and always will, because I know who I am, and don't need to subscribe to any absurd system of beliefs. Perhaps my beliefs coincide with yours, anyway. It's sad, but I feel it must be the human condition. The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Some of us speak out. Others act out. It's all good. Some paths, for whatever reason, result in greater happiness than others. You have to balance your sense of integrity with the happiness your endorphins or vibes provide. Life is totally unfair. I'm not happy and I don't know who to blame. Maybe I hate you all.

I basically pin the blame all on David Andrew Eldridge. This may be unfair, but I don't want him in my head, and he won't leave me alone, for whatever reason. If I were the Ayotollah, I would issue a fricking fatwa. I hate him. They say you become who you hate. Maybe the only way to have peace of mind is to love my enemy. If true, that's a very difficult path to take, and completely counter-intuitive, especially as he's my personal tormentor and devil, as far as I can tell. I don't want to, and I shouldn't have to. Just leave me alone, a-hole.

He is, in my world, a kind of omnipresent God (semi) responsible for my pleasure or suffering. This is why I want to be my own "God". I want sovereignty over my "soul". I do not want to feel like a robot, programmed, or a slave, possessed. He is a man, and says he's a vampire, and basically therefore is one, as he thinks and acts accordingly, and he cruelly, as is his self-conceived nature, drains me of life, happiness, and vitality every day. It's a goddamn cruel, senseless, world, and I wish I never met him, the prick.

In other words, I am my own God, he is my devil, and the reverse may also be true, and I'm not saying I or he should be yours, but go your own way, and decide for yourself, and be happy by whatever works for you, according to whatever this cruel world will let you.

Amen.