Recap

Jesus

Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain?  Vanity of vanities, all is vanity:  Jesus anagrams to “Jess u””.   Me? Jesus was me?  or, I am Jesus?  Which?  Only crazy people think they are Jesus.  Or God.  And I AM schizophrenic.  Or at least that was the diagnosis.  I take antipsychotic medications, olanzapine and risperidone.  Psychosis is the label for delusions and / or hallucinations.  Being a deity is delusional, according to most people, I think.  Hearing voices that aren’t there are hallucinations.  I’m sane enough to know this.  I’m sane enough to know I’m possessed.  Possessed by Jesus? A lot of priests would kill to truly be a slave of Jesus.  To be God’s puppet.  To hear the Voice of God.  I actually don’t believe any of this, although they’re a bit entertaining to think about (entertain).  But I do believe in telepathy, which is what prayer is, anyway, right?  God can hear your thoughts.  God is pure mind.  There’s ought in thought, just like fun in funeral, or love in evolution.  God, dawg - the devil lived.  Britney Spears is Presbyterians.  Word.

I AM a deity in the limited way I’ve described (good.  Only God is good).  I might not be any good at making love, but I’m not a depraved sinner, is what I’m trying to say.  Also, my name.  It means God is, or God’s gift.  Not just Jesús (Hey Zeus in Spanish).  Also, Chuy (pronounced chewy, like the eucharistic wafer), Isaí (Isa is Jesus, in arabic).   Eucharist makes me think of 'you a christ'.  Christ is just anointed with chrism (oil).  Christ and E are 5.  With numerology, Jess is 8, in base 10 or whatever (nonary?).  JESS: 10, 5, 19, 19.  Get it?  God is 8, and 8 sideways is the symbol for infinity.  JESSE LAWRENCE TESHARA is 4-9-9 (or 22).  The 22nd letter is V.   V is for vampire.  499 is also BUDDHA.  Teshara evokes Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva of compassion.  I met a guy named Four (Nguyen. really, no lie).  And Shiva (Hindu deity, and part of shiv).  And Koran (alternate spelling of Quran).  And Israel (like Zion).  And Duv (like peace).  And Mona (mono in spanish is monkey, and also part of monotheism).  And Helen and Helbush (like hell, or the burning bush).  And Kat, Kate (like Catholic cats).  101 uses for a dead cat! (like eating pussy).  D is for David.  Deity is a little bit D (for devil).  Sometimes we need a fix.   Sometimes we need some sin, some evil, some transgression, some wickedness, some base animal nature.  Right?  Deity is also de-itty, or making yourself big.  There’s nothing wrong with that, either.  Nobody can be infinite.  God as Reality is a ridiculous concept.  Reality is infinite and infinity is bigger than a googolplex googolplexes!!  Infinity is not a number.  It is without end.  So if you think you’ll live forever, that’s quite an imagination you’ve got.  How many Planck lengths are in the observable universe, I wonder.  Belief in God is BIG.   I’m itty.  Jess T evokes jest (like infinity on a cross, say).  Have Mercy on us (lol)!  (Mercy is an all girls Catholic high school in San Francisco).

I’ve been crazy, barking mad, like a dog, or pant-hooting like a chimpanzee (which are apes, not monkeys), or dancing like a giant ant.  So there’s God, and Hanuman, and Antichrist.  Meaning can be mean.  Like zero.  4 for Four for D for Devil or for Deity.  The devil is just God when he’s drunk.  God is Allah is all (at least if you’re Sufi), and we are all One (God is One), and Reality is all the God there ever is (pantheism), and my name is like Jesus Law Avalokiteshvara (!).   Also, Teshara is Eshara, Shara, Hara, Ara, and Ra (all 5 of which are deities from history).  So Teshara evokes Christ on the cross (T).  You probably know about Ra, the Egyptian Sun God.   My mom is Peggy T (like Egypt).   And furthermore, Larry is 2, like Jesus.  He went by Mr. T.  Monks evoke monkeys.  The keys to the kingdom.  God is great, like a great ape.  Ape is 4, too.  You are your own reality, your own you-niverse.  If you’re a parent, you’re a Creator, like God the Father.   God is love.   Amor is Roma, backwards.  I was raised Roman Catholic.  WWJD, what would Jesse do?  Roam the universe!  Catholic means universal.  God and Catholics, dogs and cats.   It’s raining cats and dogs.  Right as rain.  We’re all just animals.  Does that make me The Beast?  What a joke.  God the father tells dad jokes.  Is Mass out?  No,  but your shirt's untucked!  

If I want to be sane (and I think I really do), then I can extinguish my voice, and become otherwise asymptomatic, and maybe not even need my medications anymore.  Remission is possible, they say.  So that would be nice.  What if I really am God, lol??  Just kidding.  God is imaginary.  God doesn’t exist.   God is a delusion, a fiction, not real.  Atheism is a part of true sanity, even if belief in God gets you there, lol.  You cross that river, you leave the boat behind.  Most of society is insane, pretty much all of humanity.  So if I emerge sane from my schizophrenia, then maybe I really have become a kind of deity:  undeluded, enlightened, and alive, awake, aware.   Conscious and curious, engaged, wise, (and fully human).  No one survives death, alright?  Not even Jesus.  So drink to bones that turn to dust!

play

devil deity, vampire buddha, drunken god

marriage and marge

marge and art and Margaret and PG&E and Peggy

mormonism and less monism, more or less

maimonides and mormon ideas

cession session

polygamist pigs, piggy peggy, scary larry

length and strength, width with wit, breath and broth, oh brother

hail, heil, hale, hey elle

eternally external

defied and deified

summoned to the summit

calculating sums in the summer

languorous langurs, gregarious greg, elizabethan liz

hanuman the man-ape-god; I'm an apeman - kinks

porn and smut, sick perv

jews and jewelry, easter in the east, hoppy easter

rabbi, rabbits, bunnicula and golem, beer n biers

   playboy bunnies, penthouse pets

pump: pitiless use of malicious power

   pumping muppets, black napkins

getting over David

possessed, be mine, mined mind, zap!

you don't want in your head..

HL, happy and in love, the heavenly life 

   of hannibal lecter, in the holy land

   hundred liters, hardcore laugh, 

   high level, hit list, house of lords

   heath ledger, hugh laurie, lowell herrero

   highlander, huey lewis, hasta luego

DHL, day and half late, dewey huey and louie, dr. HL

God is a telepath; imagining reality into being, cre8ive

Never mind, I don't mind, no matter (and never mined)

mined over Matt

don't take H in vein

Jesus is god is love is blind.  shut the blinds.  

little death and lethal dose and latter-days and lord, LN and DVD

larry david, lucid dreaming, learning disability, long distance, line drive 

the liberty to call liberals libtards

Love is blind (but if you heal the blind, they love you even more!)