Dukedom in the land of oaks

 Review of Stay at Duke’s place (duchy?)

Duke, and ducal dookie, a diarrheal disaster

Well, he had diarrhea (diarrhoea?) for 5 of the 8 days, 3 of which I woke up to deposits left on the lovely, immaculate living room carpet.   Which was a nightmare for me, because I’ve never had to clean up something like that, before.  And Ron is a germaphobe neat-freak who might lose his shit and freak, as it were.  Susan talked me through how to use the Bissell wet vac, and I sucked it up.  Apparently, Ron never woke up to, or heard, the vacuum.  I opened the window, even when it was cold, and was told not to, but Ron had no idea, of the smell.  Don’t know what D ate.  Susan says maybe Ron fed him something.  I had to put my fingers in his mouth a couple times, on walks, to get stuff out.  There are also occasional provided water bowls that he’s drunk from, that are normally appreciated by dogs and walkers, such as myself.   Anyway.   Last night, which I fully expected to wake up from to another olfactory and aesthetic nightmare,  turned out to be the relief I was waiting for.   Thankyou, Jesus, lol.  I asked Duke (rhetorically; dogs can’t talk) if it was him, or if it was Ron.   Which struck me as hilarious.  Sometimes I crack myself up.  Olivia, the cook, said “that would be a turn of events.”   There’s a cook, a housekeeper, a gardener, and me, the dog-walker.   Pretty nice lifestyle.  The house is truly lovely, and I always enjoy staying there.

The second day of D’s d-, I walked him 4 times.  The fecal frick didn’t so much as fart.  I did what I could do.   Oh well.  Duke is sweet, actually.   He’s dopey, and placid as a cow, and barks deeply at the neighbor’s dog, next door.    He likes to investigate, and will stop and stare, or fully expect for me to let him walk up someone’s walkway, like it was his house, lol.  The Bissell thing acted differently on different days;  I’m not sure I used it correctly, even though it seemed to work, each time.   I cleaned it up, best I could.  Lots of paper towels, and hot water, and foley cleaning fluid.   I couldn’t get the tap very hot, so I used the electric kettle, once.  And the soap only appeared to cycle through on one use, not the other two… Well, another adventure in the land of oaks!   Kinda gross, but so it goes.

Poopy dog names:  Duke (dookie), Banh Mi (BM), Poutine (pooh), and Shi Tzus (shit zoo!); when shit gets real:  die uh - real!  (desecration by defecation), (consecration by convocation)