Telepathic Schizophrenia

aka, "voices"
(like Pink Floyd sang, there's someone in my head but it's not me)
then again, prayer is supposedly heard by God.
and the Bible says to pray without ceasing
like Dave letterman said there's no off position to the genius switch
and a Japanese zen monk, Yasutani Roshi (1885-1973), said
    the fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose
       I am here and you are out there

great minds think alike, co-arising, wordless transmission
borg hive mind, collective (un)conscious
intrusion, lack of privacy, schizophrenia, insanity
train of thought, derailed; disordered thinking
morpheus, god of dreams; mind control, hypnosis

I've been hearing 'I can't breathe' for forever.
   go figure

anyway, I write some of them down:

v's
Jesse, you're almost amazing
they meth you may
you ARE working, Jesse
because we know exactly what you do - it's fun
we wanted a tenant, not a machine
that is my squeeze you
you're getting jew electric
jess you're fun and cool
it's crazy how much thought there is, in a lum (sic) session
they know you like to write
it's cool, okay?
jess, you're a genius - you really are
you lead it brilliantly
jess, you're insanely something
I can't take it any more
you're THERE, okay?
you work it, you really do
you're a layer - a layer of a lot
you have all the zoo, Jesse
you're a laugh vector
you may go to caw
you are u.s. attorney, Jesse - I'm laughing
that is your state
we granted an exemption
you are a bit like Rockefeller, Jesse - I'm laughing
I'm fairly confident fairly early that he's Allah (a law?)
we need a break because we know what you are
huh, Jesse
fucking me, getting stupid
if you want, you can army
you're really really cool Jesse, okay?
alright, jesse
that's me, going completely completely completely sad
I'm an abortion, Jesse
all right, we know what you are
that's me laughing, jess
this is me laughing
he knows you're like HL, Jesse
this is me on how really insane you can be
jess, you're really REALLY someone
he is of course you
alright, alright
he knows you're a master again. it's crazy.
hm
oh god (gawd)
you're really really insane jess
you can forget my swallow, Jesse
you're bizarre
you're really sum1 (someone), Jesse
Jesse, he thinks your jew is a cancer

there's a lot more, not included
and a lot more, in other posts
and a lot less recently, compared to some past madness

and it should be known I think they're all from David
(not an imaginary friend) (an actual person, in Sacramento)
a telepath, obviously.  could be considered a guru, or a vampire,
or just a mathematician and lawyer who is difficult to get out of my head.
and someone, in the name of sanity, I want nothing more to do with.
I even wrote a letter to the pope, years ago.  before he died.

Maybe being God isn't so great
I mean, "it's all your fault."
pb, all the praise, and all the blame
All the great stuff people are grateful for...
   (Steven Pinker's book!, better angels of our nature)
   (peace, love, happiness, wealth, health..)
and all the shit like George Floyd's murder
   or the Syrian civil war

narcissism- exaggerated sense of self-importance
   persistent need for admiration
   lack of empathy for others
   excessive pride in achievements
   snobby, disdainful, patronizing
   ppp- grandiosity, and a preoccupation with power and prestige

how can one ever know?  untangle the results of self from others?
mess message messiah, ha
message, ss, sage, age, sag
messiah, hi me ass, (the online anagram server generates 109 for 'messiah')
     same SI H (St. Ignatius, my high school, in SF, has a H floor plan)
     including (ahem sis), (shame is), (has semi), (a he-isms),
      (a mesh is), (a em hiss), (is am she), (mas he is), (a he is ms)

I'm not saying it's all me, or it's all you.
  Maybe it is, though.   I could be wrong.

Am I insanely sane? lol
a piece of work
my life is an open book
sanely insane?  testing 1-2
    what happens when I/you think different?
medicated, dedicated, read what he said, lead
motivated, educated, mentholated
deadhead with bed-head

shock is all in your head
your sex and your dope is all that were fed
so fuck all your protests and put em to bed
  -Marilyn Manson, rock is dead

is this schizophrenic, or just non-normal?
joke: numbers to words: 127.58, A BG, eh? (Bill Gates)
and
words to numbers:
god is in the tv (lyric from rock is dead)
8=8 ('god')=('in the tv')
you grok?
ask me, I'll explain.

(a few more)
v's
you're bizarre, Jesse
you put a LOT of work into your law, Jesse
you're grey, jess- I'm smiling
you might highly drunk him, Jesse
he knows you're up to batting a thousand
that's me smiling - you're well well on
oh god, Jesse
this is me laughing again, how you make it clear
the world is fun like that, Jesse
you're getting my shit together, is why(/Y?)
you ARE amazing, Jesse
your god is were
they're laughing
you're inSANE
I don't know, jess
you're killing him, jess
you're really letter
I want you to seek your law
you work hard at what you are
I can't breathe

Just to show you how I think of these as koans, in a way, take 'I can't breathe' as an example.
They're always at least 2 (if only because the voice could refer to David, or me)(both?)
From David, but in My mind.

I can think of 12 interpretations (!)
1.covid
2.george floyd
3.gagging on cock (bj)
4.stuck inside, can't open windows, stuffy
5.dead
6.sentient, but doesn't breathe (like a computer?)
7.allergies, pollen
8.asthma
9.choking
10.polllution
11.punched in the throat
12.not breathing (properly, in the right way, correctly)
     (i.e. still actually breathing...
     just not like the fitness trainer or boxing coach
     or yoga instructor, or whatever, is telling you)

George Floyd, and George (Harrison) Ford...