1. "I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation."
2. "All great truths begin as blasphemies."
3. "When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth."
4. "The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time."
5. "Beware of the man whose God is in the skies."
6. "There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it."
7. "You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race."
8. "A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth."
9. "Lack of money is the root of all evil."
10. "Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it."
11. "Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn."
12. "There is no love sincerer than the love of food."
13. "Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same."
14. "A happy family is but an earlier heaven."
15. "Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed. "
16. "I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. "
17. "Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness."
18. "People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it. "
19. "Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."
20. "The frontier between hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things."
21. "Virtue consists, not in abstaining from vice, but in not desiring it."
22. "You cannot be a hero without being a coward. "
2. "All great truths begin as blasphemies."
3. "When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth."
4. "The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time."
5. "Beware of the man whose God is in the skies."
6. "There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it."
7. "You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race."
8. "A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth."
9. "Lack of money is the root of all evil."
10. "Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it."
11. "Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn."
12. "There is no love sincerer than the love of food."
13. "Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same."
14. "A happy family is but an earlier heaven."
15. "Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed. "
16. "I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. "
17. "Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness."
18. "People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it. "
19. "Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."
20. "The frontier between hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things."
21. "Virtue consists, not in abstaining from vice, but in not desiring it."
22. "You cannot be a hero without being a coward. "
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