Don't Believe The Hype

I'm not trying to be Jesus or anything

I'm God, but then again, so's Everybody, imho
Better than God?  Depends what you think God is.
If God is the universe, well we're all just tiny parts (of Him)
Parts of the system.   A lot of people want to change the system.
I'm just Jesse.   A regular guy.  With a blog.  And a past.
I can't walk on water or heal anyone, as far as I know.
Happy Father's Day.   Happy Juneteenth.
Summer started yesterday, officially.
Have fun in the sun!
Jess

Alphabetical Insults

Shakespeare did it better

from asshole to zero

a short post

these are bad words 

not to be used in polite company 

salty language

asshole, butt-ugly bitch, cracker cunt, dick/dickhead demon/devil, excrement, fat flatulent faggot feces fuck, gaylord gorilla, hole, he who must not be named, ignant ignoramus imbecile idiot, jesus-freak jew,  killer, loser, moron monkey, nutsack, oppressor, pussy pos perv pedophile,  queer queef queen, retard, stupid shit,  twink twat, ugly, vampire, worthless wigger, x-men wannabe,  yellow, zombie zero.

also, puta verga chingar culo pendejo cabron

Heart and Hate

heart is an anagram of hater
hatred has red in it, like blood
    hater pumping hatred
death is an anagram of hated
orgasm is called the "little death"
erections are engorged with blood
   (bj's are vampiric sucking, in a. sense)
vampire is anagram of 'ima perv'
death is d hate (devil's hatred, one interpretation)
heart symbol is combination of m and v
   evokes butt, breasts, delta venus
could be interpreted as hate and love being the same thing (!)
there's love in evolution
heart and hate and heat (she's hot!)

v
you live and you die, that's it
keep it sane, Jesse
you ARE an interesting trip
you're right (write) about a lot
what are you trying to say
it's making me swallow
they know you're (your) law
people don't think like you
he knows you're morally versatile
    (I vacillate between love and hate)
we know you're A program
U and I need a priest
because we hate each other
we are pure spite

DEATH
don (death, oblivion, nullibiety)
dddd (death, demise, decease, departure)
ee (expiry, end)
con (curtains, oblivion, nullibiety)
cop (curtain, oblivion, passing)
queen (quietus, expiry, end, nullibiety)
sex and death (sad?): cop u late
u as a smile, you, universe
pod den
mind your p's and q's (passing, quietus)
    also, performance/quality
            poems/quotes
            pints/quarts

8/ate
eat, drink (ate, tea)
urinate/micturate, defecate
copulate
deth (drink, eat, thirst, hunger), plus a

heroine, get your cruci-fix
(allusion to heroin fix)

penetrating words
constabulary, establishment, stable, instability, stabilize,
contestable, detestable, twistable, mastabas

god bless
less death
b as jesus, lord (life or death)(love or devil)(light or dark)

happy Juneteenth (6/19/1865), slaves in Galveston TX informed of freedom. (but the emancipation proclamation was 9/22/1862, or 1/1/1863)

Teshara is anagram of 'as heart' 'as hater' 'as earth'
dual fools in a cruel duel to rule
plus  
   and who'll clean the school's pool?
   for breakfast, I had cool gruel
   you'll find the jewel tool  on the stool

Disturbed or Well

Grr, ah!  

Gr

Pain.  Physical, excruciating, intolerable, please-kill-me, god help me, make it stop, agony. Misery.  Suffering, physical and psychological.  Anguish, despair, hopelessness.  Torture and torment.  Infliction, schadenfreude, sadistic methods of every kind of cruelty.  Hunger, starvation, malnutrition, disease, madness, screaming, hate, violence, suicide, horror.  Crime and sin and wickedness and depravity and brutality and pure, unadulterated evil.  Hell.  Unending, limitless, radically mad bad and sad, mental illness, mind control, anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, enslavement, poverty, threat, malice, injustice, stupidity, alienation, isolation, loneliness, infection, filth, vermin, mosquitoes, incarceration, confinement, apathy, lack of stimulation, sensory deprivation, sleep deprivation, punishment, electric shocks, being ignored and left to die, no love, losing it all, losing your loved ones, losing your mind, losing your possessions, waterboarding, thumbscrews, iron maiden, abacinate, restraints, war, basic needs unmet, no clothes, exposure, giving up, meaninglessness, purposelessness, early and preventable and pointless death.

Ah

Love, pleasure, delicious food, amazing sex, limitless supply of money.  Movies, travel, restaurants, peace, purpose, possibility, meaning, motivation, achievement, reward, recognition, satiety, comfort, bliss, entertainment, libraries, cleanliness, safety, security, satisfaction, joy, warmth, friendship, camaraderie, humor, laughter, contentment, challenge, health, wealth, happiness, improvement, dreams, variety of food, culture, activities.  Fun, games, sports, winning, play, goodness, compassion, kindness, virtue, beneficence, charity, goodwill, respect, sanity, pleasantry, a refreshing swim, relaxing by the fire, good books, intelligent conversation, learning, curiosity, keeping informed, teaching, gratitude, being appreciated, complimented, receiving gifts, good music, endorphins, going to bed tired, awaking refreshed, engagement, no boredom, meditation, contemplation, enlightenment.  Alive!  Making a difference, making the world a better place, conflict resolution, solving problems, mastery, finishing a bucket list, dying well, old, loved, and missed. 

Binary, good and evil, no?

Forgiveness, starting over, every day is a new day, born again, second chances, clean break, new chapter

It boils down to the difference between love-bliss and torture.
also,
I want to reiterate, however, that heaven doesn't have to be any of the ah's: it can be the simple absence of gr.   Not being in hell is an acceptable heaven.   A kind of heaven.  A circle of heaven, if you will.

Hell is the place of the dead, by definition.
But being dead is also an absence of suffering.
So, death/oblivion  is, in fact, both heaven and hell!
(it's really kind of Neither; nullibiety is nothing)

Curiosity, Numbers, Trump

#'s: bean counting and number crunching
curiosity: who what where when why how which

some thoughts on trump
 is a grifter, and a racist, and a rapist, and sick (the glass of water thing!).  the lying, the sheer magnitude, who does that? why?
it's just a show, a game, he's totally unserious about leadership
it's all about image and approval ratings, and the stock market
only I can fix it? what the fuck was that? what a load

He has no respect for nature, so I have no respect for him.

at least he galvanizes.  the Wapo has a running tally of his lies.
and he forces critical thinking, because he's completely untrustworthy

but
he was never a president -
he's just gratifying his ego, trying to feel important, boss everybody around -
but never presidential
let's just ignore him, and then forget him

and celebrate when he's gone
Biden has a team.  Trump is solo.
consensus or diktat
patriot and idiot

my conception of being presidential is, the criteria for being a true president, are:
a) set an example, serve, make the country (and the world) better
b) inspire and unify the citizenry
c) improve, develop, and enrich the country
d) don't be a lying prick

Darth Sidious

Let the hate flow through you

spite, malice, contempt, disdain, disgust
anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury, ire
oppression, repression
justice, malice, revenge, karma
explosion, war, violence, torture
vicious, cruel, brutal, depraved, ruthless, savage

Rotten piece of shit David

Imbecile Mexicans

Fucking cops

Racist sacks of shit, everybody

Retarded fucking soldiers

Insane scumbag rapist Trump

Lousy worthless politicians

Sick ass students

Kop Killing Kuntry

Germy fucking bats

Communist chinese crushers of common citizenry

Corrupt capitalist corporate ceo’s

Fucking motorcyclists, spewing exhaust,  and other pos polluters

Retarded brainless voters

Racist bassists

Cruel fools

Mean scenes

Ugly bugs

Shitty out of shape sitters

Dangerous demons

Worthless white women

Stupid bitches

Rotten republicans

Dumb dems

Hateful hazel

Criminal crap heads 

Sinful shit for brains

Impossibly rotten rug munchers

Fucking faggots

Evil enemies everywhere

Rude rotten rockstars

Hateful humanity

Mad motherfuckers

Uneducated masses

Ignorant imbeciles

Incurious ignant ignoramuses

Fucking fuckhead fucks

Dumb ass dead motherfuckers

Crazy cop killers

I hate you, I hate everybody, get lost, get bent, eat shit and die

Go fuck yourselves

Respect this, you stupid cocksuckers

Livid with lying lawyers

Burn in hell, you criminal cunts

What the fuck is wrong with you people? 

disgust, dismay, degradation, depressed, destroyed by devils

everybody, everywhere, evil and enraged

I'm playin', trippin', buggin'

fo realz, dawg

family homily, dimly

smother the other mother

bothered the father

if I had my druthers, oh brother

sister doesn't exist, pissed

sad and mad and bad

dark side of the force, Jedi on meds

psychotic erotic, clinical medical radical

worthless mirthless birthless 

if you don't have something good to say...

    don't say anything at all

it's all good

mated for expressing irate hate

chess mess

a night of spite

covid death breath

making light of the dark side

satire ire, tumor humor, laughter after (ugh later)

comedian, demon cia, coma dine, cum med ian

silence equals death, speak your mind

feeling alive with hate 

hate feels more real than platitudes of love, sure as hell

no limit, no compunction, no conscience, no love (opposite of god)

free your mind, (ego/superego/id/thanatos/collective unconscious)

atheism, paganism, christian cult derision, agnosticism, etc.

holding all opinions, simultaneously, like a quantum computer

cognitive dissonance, and the test of a first-rate mind

mind mined, it's dark in there, true colors inside, sith (red n black) 

police chess, playing both sides, legal eagles, instigation, incitement

drowned in sound, diet riot, buy it quiet, hating commercials, too

racism fascism, superiority, condescension, righteousness

race chess, devil's gambits, bible sin shaming v. pride

not making any friends, taking stand against the world

bhs, burlingame/berkeley high schools
   butthole surfers, black hole sun, and def jam
defend and de-fund and de-fang
grace, predatory prayer : gr, prey
v's (vampire victim, voices)

contempt, threat, teargas

sneezing, singing, shouting
corona-coughing

rage in a cage, rich in a ditch
wired or tired, hired and fired
ire and Ireland, feeling worse in Peoria, macaroons from Camaroon
bands: megadeath, public enemy, millions of dead cops
don't back the front
modest goddess, modern god
go to school, fool;  then work, jerk.
better red than dead, a deadhead with bedhead
liar on fire, muck and mire, dire and down to the wire
keeping tabs on all the lies: the trump umps
    thank you, Washington Post!
debt sweat
why did he have to die, she cried
insane brain, no pain no gain
wokers and workers, ironic and irenic
testing, tracing, and (quaran-) ' tining
bsa: boring, stupid, aggravating; mad at dad
the wretched vet remembers the tet jets; dom mom in 'nam
get your pet to a vet
devil dogs needed a veteran veterinarian
hoarse from yelling at the force, of course
sick of these dicks, and hassles with assholes
cruel fools, dumb bums, mean with a ball peen

grassroots organizing of demonstrations
guardians of democracy

HYPOCRISY:
the police can fire a teargas canister at a crowd with impunity,
but arrest anyone who throws it back at them as a criminal...

and being held down for 7 minutes and 46 seconds
is NOT the "spiritual perfection" of "forensics" (4 n' 6)
just like a "bad apple" didn't choke out George Floyd.

representation problem in USA
80% of Americans live in cities, but the senate is dominated by rural states

may I have a word?
hatred, red hats, and hated death (same letters)
survive and thrive, alive!  (but don't knife your wife)
grace and gr - ace
torture, torment, and twisted sister (we're not gonna take it)
torque, torso, torte, tories, torpor, and torrential downpour
tort court, abort fort
   mort sorted quarts of port,
   exhorted to remove warts

Talking to Myself

Someone who will listen

Don’t touch surfaces (use antigravitons), don’t use the letters pkg, (plosives). Close the toilet seat before flushing.  Don’t cough or sneeze.  Sneeze into elbow.  Wear a mask (washable?), social distance (6.5 feet), use hand sanitizer, and wash hands often.  Stay off of Bart.  Remain indoors.  Don’t leave your room.   Order groceries delivered.  Fomites are less threatening than originally thought, but still not to be ignored.  Wipe down surfaces.  Bleach and antibacterial wipes are still useful.  The virus is still at large.   Still a threat.  And still spreading.   You are hereby warned.

You can read news, do indoor exercises, walk dogs, and blog.  You can avoid idiots.  Your brain is a blank slate.   You are zombie food.  The world is a vampire.  Life is draining.

You can move to Portland.  You can read the cs monitor and foreign affairs.  You can make new friends.   You can publish a book, with material from your blog.  You can demand money from the value of your blog.  You can get healthy and strong and beautiful and sane.  You can fall in love.   You can find the perfect job, and make tons of money doing something you love.   You can be a cuddler, an author, a martial arts instructor, a naturalist hiking guide (plants and animals), and still keep walking dogs.  You can lose weight, and gain muscle, and eat clean, and feel great.

You can finish your bucket list, and read all the books you want to.  You can read the weekly economist, the daily ny times, and all the newbery award winners.  You can teach, anything you like.  You can always do pushups or planks.   You can save money, and buy nice things.  You can be happy.    You can take drugs, and eat good food, and have sex, and travel.

You can eat meat, and still distribute vegetarian flyers.  You can go to all the religious services.  You can live long and prosper.   You can wake early.   You can have an amazing life, made up of amazing days.  You can be efficient, and productive, and motivated and achieving.  You can be ambitious, and achieve your dreams: a house, a car, sanity, love, fitness.

You can read a book a day.  You can improve, daily.  You can make many friends, and make the world a better, happier, richer place, with less suffering and hate.  You can get far, far away from annoying people, and live in a world you enjoy.   You can get out into nature, every day.  You can feel alive, and be well.

Madness

Vampires

Can read your mind.   They have empty, blank minds of their own, and know that whatever enters the vacuous void of their insane brains emanates from without.   They feel dead, like zombies, and crave your mind, subsist on your brain, and drink life dry.   The metaphor is the undead, both zombies and vampires.  They need others to feed them a constant stream of death, suffering, pain, and misery.  They are lawyers who delight in both the crime, and the conviction of the criminals, completing the circle of misery.  They hate themselves, too,  but don’t know how else to be.  Life is shit, and then you die.   Heaven is a pipe dream.   We’re all stuck in hell.  Immortality is a fool’s errand.  Suicidal tendencies are allayed by the oppression of others.   They’re in a world of shit.   If there isn’t enough crime, well then let there be war.   Life is meaningless, so they create meaning by tormenting world leaders.  Politics is poly-ticks, a whole lot of leaching blood-suckers, bringing the world to it’s knees.  People are bugs, and vampires delight in squashing them.  They know they are bugs, too, but hell, they are smarter than you, older, wiser, meaner, bigger, better, and know the law, so they can stay (relatively) free, while the world is enslaved to their will, a will to power, a will toward crushing anyone for any or no reason at all.  All you fucking idiots.  You imbeciles, you morons, you twats, you worthless fucks.  They’re criminals, too, but just careful to stay lawful, and manipulate and persuade and hypnotize the weak into doing the dirty work for them, in pursuit and capture of the perfect crime.   You don’t like it?   So sue me.  HAHAHA.

Telepathic torture

The mentally ill are a captive audience, to be tormented and twisted in pursuit of the vampire’s happiness, whether just to be batted around like a cat toying with mice, or maybe creating a better world, for a vampire who may just have a better world in mind, to be realized by any means necessary, especially intrusion of a farcical and non-existent right to privacy, diverting the flow of the stream of consciousness, the collective unconscious, into the dire straights of frustration, futility, absurdity, nonsense, giving up, and dour acceptance of any reality whatsoever, because maybe the hell will end, maybe there’s some light at the end of this goddamn tunnel.   The mentally ill, the schizophrenic, the psychotic, hear the voice(s) from the mind of the vampire.   The images, the dreams, the voices, are part of the experiment, with all of reality a lab.   The world is a laboratory, to be experimented on, tweaking this variable and that.  History is a classroom of failed (and occasionally successful) experiments.  Life is a game.  The planet is a giant toy.   Society is a program.   Songs and movies and dreams and tv shows and books and even the news, are all generated by twisted suffering vampires, clawing at the world, trying to ease the pain.   

Bullet with butterfly wings, by the smashing pumpkins.  Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.  “The world is a vampire.“

Christianity is shit.  Buddhism is nonsense.  Islam is madness.  Every guru is a delusional fuck.  The incarcerated are heroes, for standing up to the insanity.   The happy are in a cocoon of their own minds, separated from the vast universe of misery.  Perhaps these happy ones are the vampires, delighting in your suffering.   It’s called sadism, schadenfreude, and conceived of as justice, revenge, karma.   The only way out is to become one of them.  Unless you’re neo, lol.   Movies are a load of shit, too.   Just sit, eat, shit, dream, read, write, and suffer with the rest of them.  At least you’re not alone.  Maybe I’m wrong.   Good luck.   

Personally, I'm throwing my lot in with buddhism,  with a sensible acceptance of oblivion and somewhat reasonable solution to suffering.  I think I'll listen to The Animals on my Echo.   Jeff Bezos must be doing something right.  Another happy worm.   Every religion. has something to offer.   It's all good, lol.   Love is the answer.   Or maybe, solitude.   Or maybe, the rest of my blog.  Or maybe, the library.  Or maybe, happiness is a warm gun.   Or maybe, a good run.  Or maybe, getting out into nature (hiking, camping, boating, surfing, rock climbing..).  Or, getting crafty.   Or, making loads of cash.   Or, burning down a Wendy's.  I dunno.  To each his own.

Validation, Opinion, Input, Disagreement

Speak your mind, Please!:  Click on the 'comments' link (below every post)

I want to hear if you disagree
or have something to add
por favor

I want your opinion, whether validation, or opposition!
I promise I will publish it -
Thanks, so much.

Invitation
You can even contribute an entire post, if you want to be a guest-writer, if you like.   All are welcome.  Let there be light!
Jess

fyi, I got 265 page views, today
not sure if I will ever whip up something viral
but I'm open to suggestions

Inclusive v. Exclusionary

unity and agreement, or war

compromise isn't always possible, but peace is
we can agree to disagree, separate but equal
abracadabra, abba cadaver
5 legal systems: civil, common, customary, religious, mixed
I wouldn't be a very good theologian if I didn't include the devil
heaven as carrot, hell as stick
letter and spirit of law
Holy Spirit

now everybody's me?
maybe NObody is me, (not even me!)

goddamn, Uncle Sam
united snakes of a merry-go-round

v
I hate myself
I hate my name

crypto, for I hate god
my voice trying to say he hates me
schizo-madness
discord, enmity, anger, torment, hostility

my self (2, 6)
my name (2, 6)
8, like god, or infinity (7), or both (9)
or HQZ
   Hannibal (Lecter, the cannibal), Q from Star Trek,  Z for Zorro
     or, hospital, queue, sleep

smart
spite, malice, and revenge - cross/torture
fee fi fo fum
forgiveness, understanding, mercy

life!
lucifer intelligently fucking ellen
love, idealism, faith, ecstasy
larry, insanity, fidelity, emotion
lamp, immortality, flow, enjoyment
luck, immigration, freedom, eternity
4 more?  9 lives?
okay,

light illumination flame energy
look! I found eden
lively interest, feeling enthusiasm/excitement
lord if force everybody

Rebutting Myself

Because I don't want to be self-defeating

Antifa

Fascism, defined: 

A political philosophy, movement, or regime that exalts nation, and often race, above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition.

Trump is, in fact, remarkably fascist.  

He retweeted that the only good democrat is a dead democrat.  He has called the press evil.  He’s racist, and sexist, and a rapist, and a con artist, and a liar, and a dick.  So I have love for the antifa movement.   I’m more humanist than american, so I deplore his trade wars, and militarism, and wall, as well.   
    This about sums it up:  Did you hear that he asked if they could threaten to execute journalists to get them to give up their sources for leaks in the White House?

I admit I also have love for the devil.

It’s okay to love a fascist.

You can love a hater, or even the hate.

That’s why I love America.   It allows diversity, polarity, opposition.  I love the free press, both main parties, all philosophical schools, and the right to assemble and protest.   SPARP (speech, petition, assembly, religion, and press).   Most religions are full of shit, and the average  iq is only 100, but I still love the idiots, the deluded, who can still be as righteous as the leftious.  Everybody has a role to play, is an essential piece of the puzzle, on this earth.

But, on the other hand, you can’t be for suffering, death, war.   Racism, even if you think blacks are in fact more racist than whites, is a scourge.  Beliefs are acceptable, but criminal action is not.  You have to draw the line somewhere.  I don’t support arson, vandalism, looting, assault, or police brutality, or even the military, going to foreign countries, and killing strangers, upon command.   All these things are heinous.   

Then again, crime can be justifiable, honestly.

Love the sinner, hate the sin.  You can still love the perpetrators.  You can even be diabolical, and favor anarchy, crime, unrest, battle and conflict, and death.  But you shouldn’t act on it.  And you shouldn’t run around terrorizing people with public displays of aggression, like assault rifles, or confederate flags, or red paint for people in furs.   

Police and prisons and paramilitaries can help keep the peace, but should not cause conflicts, themselves.   I’m down with everybody.   Everybody has a point.  Everyone is right.   But personally, I prefer peace.  That’s just me.  I’m not for war.   A slap can snowball into a nuke.   I mean, it shouldn’t.   But it theoretically could.   The danger of unhinged leadership being a threat to society needs to be remedied.   Nukes shouldn’t even exist.

Am I too open minded?  Am I defeated and neutralized by my own philosophy?  Are angels warring for my soul, so to speak?  Is Trump in fact as virtuous as anybody else?  Does eating a hamburger logically entail acceptance of murder?   Is the world overpopulated?  Is sin a virtual reality, and not in fact real?   

I can live with Trump, as long as he's all bark, and no bite.   That seems unlikely.  Once there's oppression, though, then off with his head.  Tit for tat, justice equality revenge and karma, for the jerk.   America should never be fascist, or have a dictator.   I'm fightin' for Biden.  Dump Trump.  I mean, the metaphor works: he really IS a piece of shit.   Mexicans are not rapists.  I love the citizens of "shithole countries."  Trump university was a scam.  Police shouldn't have malice toward the public.  Fox News is not a source of unbiased reporting.   He never reads, and he always lies.  And the Bible is not a political prop.

Argh. Ugh.  Peace be with you.   Peace be upon you.  Peace!  Life is shit, unless life is grand.   I guess I should just accept everybody.  If I want to be happy, and live by my own pacifist philosophy, there’s really not much choice, is there?

 I shouldn't condescend, or promote any sectarianism, as it's all good, but maybe something is better for you (or for me) than something else, who can say, maybe only you, but don't knock it til you've tried it, keep an open mind, like a parachute, that only works when open, and everybody is equal, if not the same.  Then again, people are radically different, too.  Unless everybody's me, as the dead milkmen sang, lol.   Ha.   If you play chess, condescension is just part of the game, right?  Sex-aryanism, what the heck is that?

Let Love Rule

Reign O'er Me

A shapeshifter, that can morph into any body, animal vegetable or mineral, of any race sex size, like the x-men (woman) Mystique, or the liquid Terminator, or maybe the Genie, from Aladdin.   

You can be Ronnie Coleman, with super-strength.   You can be the fastest human ever, like Usain Bolt.  You can have gymnastic superpowers, like Simone Biles.   You can be a genius, like Marilyn Vos Savant.  You can fight like Bruce Lee.  You can heal or raise people from the dead, like Jesus.  You can be any olympic gold medalist!  You can be happy, like a champion buddhist meditator, or a newlywed in love, or rich, like bill gates, or sexy, like any male or female supermodel.  You can be any role, in real life, like the POTUS, or in fiction, like Superman.  You can live in the real world, or a virtual world.   You can mine comics and movies and tv shows for possibility, such as The Matrix, or Star Wars, or X-men, or Heroes.   You can even be God, who can do anything, they say.   You can live in any period of history, past present or future.  You can time-travel and space-travel, teleport, and live in any world you choose, drug-induced, a dream-world, a movie or book or video game, or any period and place in history.   You can die, and be reborn.  You can live forever, as an angel, or a vampire, or a regular human, who just doesn’t age, and heals from anything or regenerates from any injury and can turn off pain!  You can speed-read, and have photographic/eidetic memory, of every book ever written.  

Maybe you think this already exists, and awaits you in “Heaven,” your reward in the afterlife.   Maybe the reality in certain people’s exceptional minds, heads, brains is as wonderful as can be generated in the human imagination.  Maybe the science of psychology, with added perspective from philosophy and theology and even mathematics, holds the answers to the problems of human suffering.  I hold that perfection is possible.  In any case, you can be happy, no matter the human condition, or circumstance (except torture, perhaps).  

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream!  You wake up from the nightmare, and live perpetually in the happy, healthy, human planet earth, and heavenly host paradise elysium, which, surprise surprise, turns out to be the same thing, the same place.   The revolution is internal, the change in your mind, the bliss obtained from human wisdom.  You are not a slave.  Your condition is not hopeless.  Depression and anxiety are unwarranted.  Life is good.  Freedom and love and joy and wealth are within reach and potential, possible, plausible.   Perfection is not impossible.   With God, all things are possible.   Have faith.  God is in your corner.   May the force be with you.  Circumstance does not dictate your state:  You can be a miserable president or a merry prisoner.   Miracles happen, and good will is omnipresent, and hope springs eternal.  Do not lose faith.  If you’re going through hell, keep going.   There is light at the end of the tunnel.   Let there be light!   Don’t worry, be happy.  Malice toward none, and charity toward all.   God bless.  Every belief is true, in some manner of speaking, if not literally, so no opinions are incorrect, delusional, stupid, irrational, or evil.  God will make good out of anything.   God is love, and love believes all things, and omniscience is familiar with the ideals of all, no matter what tribe, nation, party, faction, gang, corporation, or otherwise exclusionary identity you identify with.  Be not afraid.  It’s all good.  Love thy neighbor.  Even the devil deserves sympathy.   Onward, christian soldiers!   Asalamu alaykum!   Nam myoho renge kyo.  Namaste.  Hail, satan!  Heil, Hitler!   Oh, heyle no.  May the force be with you.   You got to let love rule.  You’re allowed to reject some, accept others, pick and choose, be one with the universe, or identify with any faction, and go to war, it that’s your thing.   That’s what freedom means.  That’s what soldiers are fighting for.   God bless america.   Achoo!  God bless you.   Salud! Salad?  amen!

Today

Junie, Snoopy, a burrito, some tunes

I haven't read today's nyt, or my 4 daily history sources, or my email.

I did walk Junie for a half hour, at 9a.  $70 cash, for 4 walks.  She didn't poop.

And I walked Snoopy, with Wag!, for an hour, at noon, for Karen.   He pooped.  We walked at a pretty good pace.   Good workout.   I like that I get paid to exercise.  I walk him tomorrow and Thursday, too.   $21x3.  Snoop Dogg!  He's not a beagle, like you would expect.  He's like Lassie.  Kind of a pup, a year old.  Smells everything.  Have to keep him out of the foxtails.   It looks like I'll sign on to Snoopy for a weekly routine.  He's not too far away, on Addison.

I bought another burrito from the new, nearby, taco truck on Sacramento (Sinaloa).  I usually go to Manantial, on San Pablo ($9).   I got a Chile relleno burrito, yesterday ($10).   Today I got camaron (shrimp) ($11).   They're all good.  The veggie super burrito is my favorite, I think.  Cheapest, too.

I texted my dad.  He got a kick out of the picture of Snoopy.

I've just been veggie', listening to music, lounging on my futon, today.   Skipping around between gdradio.net, wprb, wmbr, kzsu, etc.   It's 4:44.   I often look at my clock at 12:34 or other interesting sequences.   Anyway, I always read the nyt editorials, even if I don't get to the rest.  I don't feel like exercising.   It's almost 5, time when the blog rolls over to a new day, to check my daily blog traffic (page view count).   I put the number, and my weight, on my Giuseppe Arcimboldo calendar.  I want to do daily pushups, too.  

My lists

that rule Jesse's world

coffee, oatmeal, vitamins, gnc protein

History, email, ny times, economist

Grim reaper, today in history, wikipedia, brittanica

Yahoo, onion, flash briefing (echo), time magazine

Christian Science monitor, foreign affairs (library)

Listen, list ten:

   wprb, wmbr, whrb, klove, gdradio

   kzsu, kalx, kcpr, kdvs, kalw

      Random podcast

      echo by artist or genre, song of the day

Go to bathroom, wash hands, brush teeth, comb hair, wash face

urinate, defecate;  you are what you eat, less what you excrete

brush, floss, rinse;  shower, shave, shit

Eat, drink,  be merry;  sex, drugs, rock n roll;  live, love, laugh

Eat, exercise, sleep; read, watch, listen;  write, talk, create; work, play 

reference: Masd (martial arts/ self defense), spanish, dictionary, atlas

Ted talks, Joe frank, judge John hodgman, standup comedy

Call dad, text Sara, LGBDT (liz greg ben declan), Theresa

Walk dogs, salon services, phone augustus

Budget, groceries, manantial or sinaloa (taco trucks)

facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest, arts and letters
planks, pushups, curls, extensions, stretch, dance
sit, nap, meditate, do nothing, relax, think, just breathe

Indian rock for sunset

Law and Religion

Domains of God and Devil?

One is unifying, the other adversarial
both deal with good vs evil
ethics, morality, community standards
sin and illegality, criminality, unlawful
injustice and unfairness
opinion

Faith, hope, charity, mercy, beneficence, good will
come together, right now, over me
acceptance, forgiveness, righteousness, sympathy and empathy
love, kindness, compassion, happiness, path out of suffering

Oppositional, us vs. them, teams, plaintiff v. defendant
    winner, loser;  judgment, sentence, resolution
polarity, dialectic, thesis vs. antithesis

antagonistic:  sports, chess, politics
corporations, teams, parties
   competing for dollars, points, votes
nations/gangs at war
   victor and vanquished, dead or alive

justice, revenge, karma
reward and punishment, freedom and incarceration
cards you're dealt, life isn't fair
progress and regress
long arc of history
synthesis

Good

On Racism and Other Ills

Scientists tell us race doesn’t actually exist.  We are all just humans.  Everything else is bullshit.  The only exception would be a humanzee, or yeti, or something.  Personally, I identify with animals more than I do a country.  I am more a mammal than an American.  I mean, I like America.  But I wouldn’t fight for it.  I wouldn’t fight for my mother, either.  I admit I am not a lawyer and am unfamiliar with comparative law, and so couldn’t choose one country over another, rationally, based on a match with my values. The supposed social contract is not really a contract, just as Americans aren’t cooked together in a melting pot (unless you’re on acid, maybe, lol).   I am more of a yeti than I am a white man.  I like nature, and have a survival instinct, and eat meat, and am at home under the stars, whether that be in Africa or any American city.  I take after gorillas.  I listen to gorillaz and lift weights at a gym for hypertrophy.  A reference to gorrillas shouldn't be racist.  I’m just saying we’re all more gorilla than we are black or white.  There’s no white alpha male or black alpha male.  All humans are on this rock in space, spinning around, getting closer to death, and we should get along.  We could fight, like different ant species do, but that would be stupid.  Why make each other suffer?  Why can’t we recognize our common humanity?  We can all help each other.  We can all be good.  Soldiers should be a profession that is gradually going out of style, and becoming progressively more obsolete.  Cops, too.   We shouldn’t be twisted by hatred, spite, malice, cruelty.  

   If there’s a God, it’s the same god for everybody.  We’re all the same, destined for the same oblivion.  We don’t need to hate each other for being different.  We look different, believe different things, speak different languages, root for different teams, and belong to different countries.  But nationalism is delusional and stupid.  We all need to be safe, and cultures diverge widely, but self-interest is the national interest is the global interest.   So travel and speaking more than one language and trying different food and listening to all kinds of music and watching foreign films is on the menu for all of humanity.   We are all actors, and we should play different roles, too.  We don’t need to define ourselves narrowly.  Global health and wealth is a precondition for all our individual well-beings.  We should not be trying to make anyone else poorer.   The rising tide lifts all boats.  Our differences are trivial, our similarities profound.   We all want the same things.  There is a global culture.  We don’t need to retreat into cocoons and isolate from one another.  Happiness is engagement.  Let’s make each other happy and rich!  Respect!  Selfish greed and acquisitive criminality are a temptation to all, but compassion and peace and equality and love will win the day.  Kindness and cooperation and empathy and virtue and blah blah blah.   I’m not a priest.  You get what I’m saying.   Love-bliss and warmth, friendship, community, laughter, humanity is self-evidently superior to war, torture, death, suffering, sin, hatred.   

    Do the right thing!  Make the world a better place.  Reduce suffering, increase health, wealth, comfort, peace, love, and happiness.   We’re all just animals trying to survive and thrive on this spaceship earth, spinning around our days, rotating and revolving around the sun.   Progress is basic needs met, and being satisfied with ourselves and each other.  Satisfaction and contentment is heaven.  Stay safe.  Stay free.  Stay strong.  Love life!  You only live once.  Live!  Be yourself.   Do you.  Me?   I just read the news, listen to music, exercise, write, read books, walk dogs, and enjoy stuff like martial arts, body building, Joe frank, wikipedia, and being in nature.  Sometimes I’m uncle Jesse, which is also fun.  I like to go to different religious services, to keep things interesting, with variety.  Occasional standup comedy and movies and travel keep things spicy, happy, tasty.   Maybe drugs are your thing, but I don’t even drink alcohol that often, myself.   Okay, enough pontificating.   May the force be with you.   Atheism is a path to god, the hindus say.   Maybe being god is a path to atheism, lol.  What say you?  Life is just chess moves against the devil?

ILL iteratii

the illiterate, but wise

Book-larnin'?  Street smarts, school of hard knocks
Up! up! my friend, and quit your books - William Wordsworth
Alive!  Your life is an open book
bless you're soul, you really think you're in control?
   who writes your book?  co-written? new chapters
Actual, not vicarious, experience
Lots of drama, excitement (vs. exciting writing)
Old age, experience, wisdom, memories
wise youth, before learning to read
not fuddy-duddy, like daddy
not twisted, like some elders
knowing the G7: who what where when why how which
who you are, what you want
where you're going, when, why, how,
and which way:  sometimes forward (progress)
maybe it's better to go back (not necessarily regress)

illuminati, feeling ill
just luminati, like a lamp
lumens, units of luminous flux
a light snack (said the plant)
naughty or nice

Body Work

Reaching Target

I googled the Ideal Weight Chart.

There's a range of weights, by height, and by sex.

I don't want to be overweight (or, even worse, obese)

   (like the majority of Americans)

   (S.A.D.: standard American diet)

I'm 6'1 (6'2?), and 230.  

 I should weigh around 200.

So I made a plan to lose 30 pounds.

1 pound of fat is 3500 calories.

My friend Sara said 1-2 lbs/week, of weight loss, is a good target.

Over that, is not recommended

So, I should get there in 4 months

I'll track my weight daily, and monitor progress on my calendar, like I do for blog traffic.  I'll eat clean, eat less, and only eat when hungry.   Plus exercise more.   No soda, candy, ice cream, junk.   Hopefully, gain muscle, too.   That's the plan!!!

GR

grim reaper
general relativity
government revenue
german republic
gr ave, gr avity, gr ass, gr ape
I'm not getting any young-gr

anger
angry language

monster from munster
ghosn's ghost
I and I:  ignored, isolated

dads
disease and death, disdain and distrust, discord and disruption, dungeons and dragons, domination and disgust, dark and depressing, distrustworthy and dangerous, difficult and divisive
 (from wikipedia): disneyland after dark (former name of a band),
a root beer, an arabic letter (written the same as sad, but with a diacritic dot), and a village in Hungary

disinhibited attachment disorder (similar to affectionless psychopathy, or institutional syndrome)

moms
mother, ma, mom, madre, mommy, mum, mummy, mama-
(from wikipedia): minutes of meeting, mars orbiter mission,
methods of mayhem, ministry of magic, morbidity or mortality
milk of magnesia, master of magic, methoxymethyl
mom (a thai royal title!, for a commoner married to a prince)

tv
turmoil, violence
blame, blam!  black lives matter
balm or bomb or obama
tv's: tidal volume (the normal amount of air inspired and expired at rest),
  or transvestite,
  or teravolt (10 to the 12th volts, the si unit of electric potential)

vw
vietnam war
volkswagen
dc
draft card
district of columbia

progress
Prague reassess
Chinese chin, chin na, chai (tea), chi, china (dishes)
ch, hi, in, ne, es, se

alliterations
metal militia, murderous movements
love it or leave it
fentanyl sentinels, bridget on a budget, racist fascist
carefully considering consequences
policy and practice, process and procedures
closed captioning, corruption and collusion

fm
foreign minister
financial misconduct
F- 'em!

vp
veep, vip
voting patterns
violent protests

fusion
ford, cuisine, nuclear

sensei
sense superior, equal, inferior
teacher, master, mentor

a little levity
mm, that's good bass!
racist police brutality ...
   bassist, and peanut butter, pb (lead)

through and through
head to toe, heart and soul

Pink Floyd
George Floyd and PINK: PIN (pinned by officers), K (killed)
Pink the musician, and Pink the fashion line,
and pins, on Pinterest
and pins, a theme in a Terry Pratchett novel

He was killed for buying cigarettes with a fake bill?
do we even know, at this point, if it actually was counterfeit or not?
do we care?  he was killed for a)being black -
either heart attack, or asphyxiation (or both)
also, because GF was b)big, and c)there was prior history
  between Chauvin and Floyd (both bouncers)

Tishrei and Teshara

Tishrei is a month on the Hebrew calendar

Variant spellings of Teshara include:
Tishara, Teshar, Tishera, Tasharra, Teshera, Tashara, Tashari,
Tashira, Deshara, Tushar, Tashyra, Tashera, and Toshiro

I pronounce it T' share uh
anagram of as earth, as heart, as hater, and shat ear
Spelling changed at ellis island from Texeira (common in Portugal)

It's got
A (god is one)
Ra (Egyptian sun god) (arabic letter, 10th)
Ara (a pre-islamic arabian god)
Hara (an early name for Shiva, in Hinduism)
Shara (a sumerian god)
Eshara (Ishara is a love goddess)
Set (or Seth) (an ancient Egyptian deity)

avalokitesvara is a bodhisattva of compassion in buddhism

he's a rat
he a star
he's a art

I'm Jesse Lawrence Teshara
My mom is Margaret Delia (Peggy) Hennessy
My birth mom is Annette V Riddle
My biological father is Richard Stollnitz
My dad is Lawrence William Teshara
  (law, will, and ar / "heir")

My friend Julie says Stollnitz is polish jew
Riddle is Voldemort's name (he who must not be named)
   rid of dull, elder, tom marvolo
Hennessy has the same spelling as the cognac

abba, pa, papa, padre, dad, da, father, pop
not too bubbly these days

Jesse has esse, latin for being, as in essence
J' suis is 'i am' in French
J is the tenth letter, evoking tennis, and tennessee
Jie xi is analysis in chinese
spanish is Jesus (hey zeus), Chuy (chewy), or Isai  (eesah-e)
Isa is arabic for Jesus
Jesse is biblical, as in
    the Jesse tree, the father of king David, ancestor of Jesus
It means, god makes forget,
    the whole office of the eucharist,
    and god exists
T.W.O. (!), eu a christ
essej is message
see sj (society of Jesus, jesuits)
j sees (or J See's) JC's, possessed by Jesus! lol
see's candy and satan (ha)
Chewbacca and Chewy granola bars and dog food
jess u (Jesus)
AI (artificial intelligence)
a jess is a strap in falconry
jessant is a plant issuing forth from the ground (botany)
Jesse has je.  Jesse Teshara is 4,9 (d,i) - jedi

stollnitz
evokes stole (theft, or liturgical vestment), knits, zit, lost, snit, toll, lit, slit, slot, lots, tin, sol, sin, LN

Lawrence, Larry, Mr. T
law, war, wren, rents, rinse, ints, ents, lore, lorentz, LA, lay, airy, lair, rail, LN
my old man (mom)
Teshara has star, Lawrence has war - Star Wars

tar baby, phantom tollbooth, Harry Potter, ents, Star Wars
my mom and PT Barnum, PT boats, PT cruiser
Margaret as R great ma
Peggy T as similar to Egypt
and piggy, like miss piggy (I'm a boar in the Chinese zodiac)
    (and hopefully not boring, like a drill in the movie Pi)

John was my confirmation name
my full name is an anagram for 'satan researches jewel'
Salazar, Davenport, and Lindley are names from my birth family

v's
yeah jess u r all law
they know how u r
we know how u do, jess
you're hard hard hard to get through

a tv, teravolt, tera means with 12 zeros (teshara minus sha)
sha is a shareholders/stockholders agreement,
  or a totemic animal (typhonic beast) of the Egyptian god set

Solitary Me

No complaints

People are stupid.  Some people are intelligent.  Everyone is both, in some respects, I believe.  But the average iq is 100.   I don’t know what mine is.  I took some tests, a decade ago.  Like 120s, or even 140, once.   I don’t care what it is.   I’m the biggest idiot that ever lived, in that I was responsible for the death of my sister.   But maybe I’m a genius, too, with a blog that finally tells it straight (‘it’ being theology).   In any case, I like to think and write.  I like to read and listen to music.  And I like being alive.  I’m not in debt.  Enjoying life, and being better off than 80% of americans, the average American being 38k in debt.  Says google.  And I’m healthy.  Health is a form of wealth.  36.5% of Americans are obese.  Another 32.5% are overweight.  Actually, I’m a bit overweight, one of the 32.5%, and I don’t know what I should be, or how much over I am.  Ok, I googled it:  A male 6’1 should weigh between 166-202.  I weigh 225.  I should be like 209.  I might be 6’2.  I want to replace my fat with muscle.  I live in Berkeley.  Great weather, intelligent people, cultural opportunities, and a good rental price, add up to a pretty ideal life.  I get enough sleep, eat well, have plenty to do, and have family and friends.  Life is good.  I take meds, and I don’t feel insane.  I have subscriptions to the ny times and economist.  I like trivia, too.  Ideally, I’ll read a book/day, as well.  I’m 48 years old.  I’ll be busy til the day I die.  Meditation takes out a bite.  I don’t watch tv, or go to movies, anymore.  I’d like to make money walking dogs, leading nature hikes, cuddling, teaching self-defense, and getting paid for being a published author.  I guess I could teach spanish, too.   And help prisoners spend their time productively, with books and trivia and yoga and whatnot.  I think every prisoner should have an e-reader, like my kindle, with access to an entire library, like encyclopedia or martial arts or 2100 asanas or all the award-winners!   That might even make incarceration fun, heaven forbid.  Life doesn’t have to be hell.  We can all be good.  That’s all I have to say, for now.

CV in USA

Corona and coronavirus
Mickey's and Minneapolis
beer and biers
pb and j: police brutality and jesus
Jesus Christ is an anagram of 'shr s justice'
bringing satan to justice (!)
food for thought
peace brutality

food festival, family and friends
it is estimated that over half of covid infections are from asymptomatic individuals, so wear a mask to protect others, as well as protecting you from yourself (touching your face).  It may seem like a mean quarantine, a lethal dose of lockdown, as it were -

but spit is a part of hospital
spit shit and loss-pital
poetry that flows from reality mentality
hurt by a dirty shirt (or a spurt, in a yurt, by kurt)
death breath

pd
police department
purify and disinfect
pandemic deaths
in prison or dead

dc
district of columbia
death certificate
death cult

usps
united states postal service
unusually severe pneumonia sickness

trump
twittering twit/ nitwit.
dumb bum, making glum

he retweeted a video that said the only good democrat is a dead democrat
can you believe that shit?  what a pos
MAGA as a civil war?  What the fuck is wrong with you?

a "law and order" president that won't even obey his own rule to wear a face mask
Leo, law enforcement officer.  
He's a gemini.  like the minnesota twins (!)
gem in eye, germ in eye
good/evil mini, I'm in, e.g. (for example)

Listen to HER

3 crises of Health, Economy, and Race

I'm actually a pig (was born in 1971)
and everyone loves donuts!
I like bacon and pastor tacos, too
(a symbolic kind of cannibalism, like eucharist!)
church pastors, and
pain agony suffering torment oppression repression
2 tacos on Tuesday
(named after Tiw:  the norse god
    of law and justice, and single combat)
pandemic: pan (bread), and dem backwards (meds)
fed with bread, meds, and the dead
behavior savior, gospel gossip

dying and crying
bias and brutality
looting and shooting
demon demonstrators, remonstrated
ff, fuel on the fire, fears and feelings, fire and fury
sick music, orc orchestra, drum beat : murder/beatings
underground sound, nightclubs and fight clubs
mental instrumentalists, and racist bassists!

go out and demonstrate, goaded
respect my existence, or expect my resistance
protesting the police
is unrest a fun test?
jailer failure, lingering anger
murder of the moment, mom
damage and destruction, dad
      degraded and dehumanized,
      disrespected and demonized
revolutionary evolution; color revolutions:
Michael brown, Freddy gray, and George floyd (as in pink)
hard-hit, violence and virus, mobs and lost jobs
kop killing will not cause real reform
law and order, crow's caws at the border
hordes with swords
danger, stranger!
wariness and chariness, to mention tensions
react with tact, grief for police chief
having an impact, in fact
(stepping razor) Peter tosh, causing caution in Washington
raw emotions, and law and order motions, and godly devotion