Long Story, Short

 The wind howls, the rain batters the window, the space heater hums, and the candle flickers.   The traffic hisses by, tires spraying.   The internet is down, and I’ve decided to write instead of sitting silently in an attempt at effective meditation.  At least the electricity still works, so I can use my computer.  And I am warm and comfortable, in my room, inside.   I don’t even want to think about the homeless people in their tents, if that.  God is telling them to wake up, and get housing, huh?  It’s cold out there.  Wet, windy, wild.  Let there be rain!  California needs it, though not all at once or twice…

My mind is the salvation of humanity!  I can share my enlightened perspective as a deity and Source of Love.    I can create the world in my image.  I’m 51 years of youth.  Maybe halfway through, eh?   At my age, I’ve been around the block a few times - it’s not my first rodeo.   I’ve seen death, madness, homelessness, sorrow, incarceration.  I’ve accumulated the vicarious experience of many authors, and learned from their examples, in how to write and think.  I’ve been in jail and out of my mind, over the hill and under the weather, up to no good and down with the clown, overweight and underwhelmed, entertained and stimulated, as well as calm and quiet in the vastness of space and time, and the still point of concentration in the present moment of the eternal now.  I got college.  

I’m not in a relationship at the moment, and haven’t been for quite awhile.  Hell is other people.  Women, who needs ‘em?  Solitude is my guide.  I walk dogs.  I take drugs.  I read and write and do arithmetic.  I’m reading Infinite Jest, and writing for my blog, and calculating my budget in my notebook ledger.   The drugs?  Medications for schizophrenia / psychosis, I take nightly (olanzapine and risperidone).   I also ingest multivitamins and omega-3 fish oil, in the morning.  AND - Just for kicks, I take astragalus, because I watched a YouTube advertisement that said it lengthens your telomeres, lol.  You don’t want your telomeres to get too short - God help you if you’ve got short telomeres.   I’m on my second trip around with Infinite Jest, because I didn’t read the footnotes, the first time, which apparently is half the fun.  My blog gets respectable numbers, with daily viewership jumping around, and maybe averaging 50 page views a day, I’ll say?  My budget keeps log of every expense - I even count my coin.   Like my own Bitcoin blockchain or whatever, you could say.  I get my jollies when the tally at the end of the month matches the sum from Wells Fargo (and wallet, coin, etc.).  I got $15 worth of Bitcoin a few years back, and sometimes I check the current value, on Coinbase.   Happy happy, joy joy.

So anyway, who cares about pennies when you’re The God Almighty, right?  Just because I don’t have a girlfriend doesn’t mean I can’t be Love Incarnate, right ladies?  I can bestow my Infinite Loving Kindness to All and Everyone, throughout the universe, across Eternity and Infinity and any other -nity’s you can think of.*  I can make Planet Earth into Utopia, Shambala, Paradise, Heaven, Bliss!   You know why?  Because it already is.  You just have to lose your blues, and de-husk from all those layers of sin and misery.  Life is a blast.  Get your kicks from dicks, and avoid hecks with sex!  Get lost in a book.  Get found on a dating website.  And get high on life.   You only get one, despite whatever you may have heard from those other gurus, sages, and priestly types.  And if I’m wrong, well then you’ll be pleasantly surprised!  The way it should be, as far as I’m concerned.  I mean you don’t want to be disappointed, after expecting to be reunited with your dead lovers and pals, do you?  Remember, you’re just an animal, like a worm, and you’ll feed the daisies after you’re planted.  Not much more to it, really.

Ahh, life.  Life is good, no?  There’s pizza, and sushi, and burritos, and sometimes Thai… There’s YouTube and movies and dreams, and your favorite tv shows.   There’s music!  The whole universe is vibrating, and life’s a long song.  There are libraries filled with free books!  Heaven is a kind of library, no?  You can go hiking and camping, surfing and swimming, skiing and skating, living and loving!!  You can travel, and see the world, or take drugs, and be a psychonaut, exploring the inner dimensions.  You can make your body into a beautiful, talented vehicle of the Divine!  You can exercise, and learn martial arts, and play sports, or get naturally high from endorphins from running or climbing or rowing or just sweating, dancing with the Universe.  May the force be with you, and may the wind be always at your back, and may the month of May make you a mate, mate!  Peace out, god bless, asalaam aleikum, ta ta - and toodles!  Be of good cheer, it gets better.  A new day, light at the end of the tunnel, good times.  

I’ve never claimed to be the Creator and Ruler of the Universe (although I do believe we each have the power to alter our individual “you-niverses”, you dig?)  Be holy before they throw you in the hole!  Be alive!  Not undead, a zombie, an automaton, a program in the machine, sheeple, puppets, possessed, empty vehicles…  Be good!  Be yourself.  Be Allah that you can be.  Be God.   Be a raindrop.  So, long story short, we’re each our own deity (largely), and the definition of God can shift, like from, say, role to status*.  God bless!  The shaman says amen.   We get by with a little help from our friends.

*indemnity, impunity, solemnity, unity, hannity, -nity gritty, in/sa -nity, serenity, inanity, moronity...

*God can jump around from being a: word, concept, role, identity, status.  Lots of names and concepts (and, I think it should be noted, If God is infinite, then God is Reality itself).   If God is a Higher Power, then there are lots of them, to look up to (anybody better than you at something/anything, like a tinker, tailor, soldier, spy, you name it).  Father is one.  Birth dad, adoptive dad, godfather, priest father, sugar daddy, papa john, etc. (lol).   God is love, and God can also be Shiva (The Destroyer), or something ridiculous, like sentient pasta (The Flying Spaghetti Monster).   If Reality is all the God there ever is, then you can deconstruct Allah as all, or make YHWH why, or make Jesús Zeus, or make Teshara Avalokiteshvara, or yourself anything - it's all good (right?).  But if the phrase "all right" smacks of Satanism to the lawyer in you, then maybe pantheism ain't your bag.  I saw a bumper sticker today that read, "tolerance or torture."  Even Satan needs some love.