Hola, hole ahh

 Hi I’m God

You think I created the Universe? I dictated the Bible into schizophrenic authors? I know everybody and everything?  I am always and everywhere, from before the dawn of time to after the end of time?  I am love and a man of war and One and good (in fact the Only One who is good)?  Well, you are evil, so I don’t care what you think!  I’m the only one who deserves heaven, anyway:  Me, Myself, and I (the holy trinity).  We are good, yes we am (i sound like Sméagol, aka Gollum?  I don’t wear a ring).   I go out into the light and eat garlic, so clearly I am not a vampire.   What am I?   Surprisingly, I have been asked that question, no joke.  Like Hannibal being called some kind of vampire, or my own self-conception as a thing, an it, a body, and nothing more, simply not there (to borrow from American Psycho), or a possessed telepath, an extension of David, which is considered crazy by most psychologists I guess, but truly evident to my own experience, no matter what you say.  Life is but a dream.   Seems like Morpheus has a plan for “me”.  Buddhism says I don’t have a self, and I believe him.  Who am I?  I have a name, a body, a brain, a mind, a history, and a blog.   I am something from that assemblage of facts, and maybe none of it, if I am just in the present, with my blank mind, tapping out words onto this computer.   (some) physicists say I don’t exist.  A scientist said reality is far stranger than we do know, and even than we CAN know.   So maybe I’m a mystery, a part of a mystery, and in fact, mysterious and opaque, like everyone else.   Reality is seriously complex and near-incomprehensible.   What is God, then?  Infinite?  Can a single brain comprehend The All, totality, the universe, all the minds in the universe (the multiverse), or even just itself?  That’s a tall order.   God is a role, is as far as that goes, is my belief.  Otherwise, I don’t believe in myself.   Ha!   God is an atheist!  Angels, souls, heaven, miracles, true love - it’s all hogwash.  People change, so love needs to be renewed, and love expires, sometimes.  It’s a mad world.  So I guess God is mad.  God is madness.  I take psychiatric medications for schizophrenia, so I would know.  Some risperidone, and olanzapine - so I can be done with zaps!!  The Grateful Dead steal your face symbol has been my reality for far too long!!  

What message does God have for you?  Be good, don’t be bad, enjoy life, don’t get stuck in a rut of boredom and drudgery, you only live once, and laugh sing dance play love life and have fun, make the world a better place, and die happy, knowing you did your best.  Sound good? God is love, and only god is good, so make love, and love your neighbor, and your enemy, and yourself, and the devil, and love all serve all, if you want to believe the hard rock cafe.  All aboard the crazy train!  What is the meaning of life?  Well, you’re an animal, programmed by your DNA to survive and reproduce, is about the long and short of it.  That’s why orgasm feels good.  But as advanced human civilization, possibly with the assistance of alien technology, we can ignore our programming, and seek God-realization, if that’s your bag, your kettle of fish, your cup of tea.  You can love your family, and even life itself, in all its madness, glory, complexity, and - unfortunately- brevity.  You can make your own meaning.   If life is a circus, and absurd, or even heartbreaking and rotten and hopeless, you can still anchor yourself in iove, or the possibility, thereof.  Many people wish you well, and form a community of support and sympathy, and maybe there is comfort in the knowledge that we all face the same fate, oblivion and nullibiety, no matter how virtuous or how depraved anyone’s actions, decisions, or lives, in general.  So basically, mistakes don’t matter.  The great Nothingness and Void will swallow all.   But we should still all do our best to leave the world better than we found it, and be good, great, better, best, perfect even, if we can. Sound good?  God bless.

now, I'm reading A Short History of Nearly Everything, by Bill Bryson

Beavis and Butthead at Amazon start at the bottom, entry-level, heh heh