Mee, moi

M 6/5

Listening to fire on the mountain, by Grateful Dead, live, from 1977.  Had my mushroom coffee.  Ate a shrimp burrito from the taco truck, earlier.  The quesabirria was good, but I like my chili relleno burrito the best.  Walked Snoopy n Shelby.  Patricia gave me some strawberries.   Delicious!  Life is good.   Unless you’re the homeless black woman, drunk and hungry and begging, out by the truck.  She’s yelled at me at least twice before.  So no soup for you.  It was fun to see Erin and Dan and Greg and Liz and Summer and Esme and Ben and Declan and Vicki and Mom and Rose Marie and Ant and Liz, and then Mike, for HOS, after.  I know this is boring.  What should I write?  Have I written everything?  Have I written nothing?

Long distance runner.   Geez.  I can hardly stand up.   I’m tired.   I only had one meal today.  Tomorrow, no dogs.  So I’ll go to bed in an hour.   It’s 7:25pm.   Kind of overcast today.  I know, I really am boring.   God can make my daze fun.  Just imagine the world you want into existence.  Then make it so.   Get on with it.  Just do it.  Git ‘r done.   Eat a ton and burn those calories.   Do the hypertrophy thang.  Lose the gut.  Sugar accelerates aging.  I bet metabolism has an effect on lifespan, too.  I heard somewhere that all life has the same number of heartbeats in their lifespan, on average.   So maybe hummingbirds have long lives, just lived faster than ours.   Senescence and aging are a result of cellular replication.  

I’ve got trivia and news and email and books and YouTube and Ted videos and J! And wikipedia and Britannica and pushups and burpees and jumprope and dancing and yoga and stretching to do.   Tomorrow is another day.  I’ve got absolutely nothing to do.  I don’t have to do a damned thing.   Except lose my goddamn gut.  Priority one, emergency, urgent.  I weigh 240.  I’m 6’1.   I should lose 30 pounds.  And gain muscle.  Sleep on, my friend.  I’m talking to myself.   At least I’m a friend of myself.  Some people hate themselves.  Nuts.  

Where do I want to travel to?  Alone? I feel almost dead.   Like a robot.   People are robotic.  Not a zombie.  I don’t want to eat people’s brains (or any other body part).  But I’m feeling less adventurous.  I still want to go to Japan.  Or across America on Amtrak.   Go to the Smithsonian and take my time.   NYC public library.  Shit, all the data I want is right here.   Maybe I won’t go anywhere.  You can’t always get what you want.  Maybe I don’t want anything.  All I need is right here, in Berkeley.   I can go to all the churches.  I should. 

 I still get new foods, sometimes.   But I like a lot of stuff I’ve already tried, if I don’t mind repeating myself.  I haven’t actually made a bucket list.

Get down to 220.  Actually, I could gain weight, just as long as I lose the gut.   That’s what I want.   I mean, I want to get big, but not fat.  Strength before size, though.   Lean and strong.    Feel good about looking in the mirror, you freaking vampire.  What have I become?  Do I see myself?   All the books in my room, all the churches in Berkeley, the whole menu of the taco truck!! Lol.  Variety is the spice of life.  Before you get eaten (by worms).   Wake up, sleepyhead!!  4:30am, hop to it.   When I see others, I usually feel good about myself.   So I’m not as radically into overhauling myself as I am (when looking in the mirror).

T 6/6

Good morning!  Up at 4:30a.   Bright and early.    Actually, it’s dark out.  Bright-eyed?  I actually want to rub my eyes a lot and maybe go back to sleep.  Bushy-tailed?  Don’t get me started.  I ate an apple with (crunchy) peanut butter.   Yum.  And I checked my blog statistics: excellent!  (almost 300).  Sexy house music on YouTube.  Back to bed in 15 hours.  No dogs, today.  I can achieve anything.  But not everything.  But I should always be doing something.   Not nothing.  This is close to nothing.  I’ll stop writing.   Ain’t worth a flea’s fart.  WHRB morning jazz, and VORG* eaten, and teeth brushed, flash briefing heard, and day planned: buy food, check blog stats 5p (already at 330), read news, nap, and pushups.  30% chance of rain in 2 hours (9a hour).   Maybe I’ll get a seaweed salad.  Candy for the jar?  I always eat it myself, so I shouldn’t.  Jazz is peppy.  I’ll exercise now.  It’s now 7a.  I read a little Economist, NYT awaits.  Fuck the news.  It’s like homework.  I should be doing fun shit.  Candy, seaweed, and writing.  Yippee.  Still robotic.  How do I escape my programming?  Write something new. 

*Vitamins, Oatmeal, Ryze (mushroom coffee), Gnc (or Gundry) 

Evening: did 140+ pushups.   Applied for YMCA membership.  It’s $64 monthly (single adult).  Hopefully $40, for my schizo ass.  I’ll hear back within 3 weeks.  Texted Greg, sent photos of 2 books for him and his.  Bought TJ’s food., and seaweed salad.  And candy (jellies) for my jar.  Blog got 447 page views today.  Only! Lol.   Meditated (sort of) for several hours.  Sat on the floor (on 2 cushions).  My legs got numb.  I think that’s how you know you’re doing it right.  At the gym, I guess I’ll go to bed tired and wake rrefreshed.  Not sure what other rules I should live by.   I’ve got the GNC powder.   THe lectin shield.  The time.  The willpower.  The discipline.  I am laser focused on losing this horrifying gut.   It’s do or die.  Spot reduction is a fallacy.   Up the metabolism, and just burn.  Swimming will be fantastic.   Splashing about is fun, too.    

W 6/7

Earned $100, spent $107 (on my bike, Trek store, brakes).   I have to go to the bank for cash, now.  I had a burrito and tabbouli for brunch.  I slept in, and ate after walking Snoopy and Shelby.  Went to Easy Creole for dinner.   Mushroom etouffe and gumbo.  The man at the register called me “love”.  Or maybe his pronoun is she, who knows.  Went to the bank, went to the UPS store, returned 2 library books.   Is this interesting?  I overslept again.  But my dreams were amazing.  

R 6/8

Up at 6:20a.   Another good day for my blog, already (665).   Blowing up, as they say.  Kaboom!   I’m up a bit slow (alarm was 5:30a), but eager to exercise/get stronger/lose some weight/belly fat/gut.  I wonder if I’m overweight or obese.   I’m either 6’1 or 6’2.   Sexual or asexual.  Alive or dead.  So on and so forth.  Stop typing, start moving…  Ahem.  

    Did a bunch of planks, 120 pushups, and shaved.  Took vitamins and Gundry pro-plant shake.   Shaved and brushed teeth.  I’m not hungry yet, so I won’t have my lectin shield/oatmeal (yet).  Waiting on the YMCA to (hopefully) approve my application.   I wonder if Greg has contacted them.  It’s 8a (772 page views).  Listening to whrb.  Same as everyday, Brain.  Song of myself is the current tune.  I feel good.  More planks! I do 30 second planks.  I always vibrate and shake, during.  Me and my flabby-ass belly.  I weigh exactly 240.  After eating, but without shoes.  Definitely a hat day.  Okay- jump into news, email, trivia, dictionary, etc.  I ate some gumdrops.  Of course.  They’re intended for visitors, lol.  I dropped off my 4 broken watches at the jewelry store.  Maybe they can use them.  I can’t, so maybe that was better than throwing them away.  And I bought a nova lox bagel sandwich from Noah’s, while I was there (on Solano), with a cookie, which I brought home and had with a pot of coffee (4 cups).  Mom inquired after my plantar fasciitis, and I told her it (the pain) pops up on occasion, but usually goes away quickly.  Anyway, my blog is over a thousand today (!), with around 5 hours to go.  And it’s sunny, so I’ll read my kindle outside, in the yard.   I'm out of dog treats.  Will buy at. next opportunity.  I found a tennis ball launcher, which I brought home.  Maybe Rover will play fetch with it.  Rover doesn't fetch.

F 6/9

Things to do in SL: (no books brought) pushups, planks, music, write, read (wikipedia, britannica, J!, emails, kindle), watch (youtube, ted, tv), chat GPT, eat peaches/pastor tacos, walk Rover, exercise library/archive, nap, meditate, exercises (burpees, jumprope, kettle bell, etc.), dance!   We walked for 50 minutes (out to under the naked woman and back), she pooped (Rover, not the woman), and I picked up the yard.  Zelled for the first time.   Had a can of cherry vanilla coke zero.  Listening wprb.   The message is, "do what you gotta do.  then, do what you wanna do."

library and books

pass the time, productive use of time (what isn't?)

curiosity, research, and education

entertainment and escape

knowledge, wisdom, understanding, truth, enlightenment

stimuli, information, data, creativity, dreams, worlds, book-larnin'

fact and fiction, vicarious experience, from other places and times,

other minds, brains, heads, authors, people, realities, to inhabit

the more you read, the longer you live (books are condensed time)

 

glib, get lost in books

bald, books are like drugs

ways into worlds, doors to dimensions, portals to planets

the pull toward pleasurable planetary places

read, reed, rede, Reid, Reede

hedspayce, exspand your mynd

I gott collij, i b smart, intelijint, whys guise