Class is in session

Theology professor, first day:

Good morning/afternoon/evening, class/students/gods and goddesses/godlings.  Welcome to Theology 101, introduction to Gods, Deities, Religion, and Belief.   Taught by me, God, also known as Jesse Lawrence Teshara-

Hi!  How are you?  

As students, hopefully the answer is Curious!  Stay curious, my friends-

      In fact, you should generate questions before every class.  Write them down, and deposit your requests in the box by the door.  I will try to answer them all.  I may even post the answers on my webpage.   The more questions you generate, the more engaged you will be, and the more you will learn and know.  Submit them to google, as well.  Get lots of answers and perspectives.  Put yourselves in an information-rich environment.   He/She who is the most curious, wins!

So how are you?  (response: curious!), good, good, you’re learning.  

What else are you?

     Next to curious, you should of course be Happy and Well (healthy, strong, fit), and Sane.

I recommend the books Superbetter, by Jane McGonigal, and Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman, to get happier.  There’s a free Yale course online on Well-Being, which I recommend.  It’s the most popular class ever taught to undergraduates, there.  So why not?  I mean, if you have the time.  Those Yale students spend a lot of money there, so a freebie course on The Good Life is worth it!!  It’s on coursera.  You should consider a vegetarian diet, as well as weight-lifting, as well as martial arts/self defense.  A good boy scout’s motto is Be Prepared.  Maybe that means carrying a gun.  Physical and mental health are two sides of the same coin.  If you are psychotic or delusional, that is, have a false belief or are not in touch with reality, welcome to humanity - we’ve all been there.  I’d even say we’ve all been possessed.  It’s normal.   We’re all here for each other.  We’re a community.  We’re not fighting each other for grades.   There is no imposed grading curve, that would be unfair.   But if you all earn D’s or F’s, that’s a possibility, too.   I expect you to put the time in.  Effort will be rewarded.   The only enemy in this class is the Devil.  If you defeat your demons, then you have earned an A, in my book.

      SO, If you are unhappy, unwell, or insane - you should let me know, as well, and I will do my best to rectify the situation.  God is good, right?  The devil, on the other hand, wants you to suffer, be unhappy, unhealthy, and insane.  He’s a sadist.  He feels schadenfreude.  He delights in your pain and misfortune.  Let’s gird for battle.  I’m happy to lead the charge.  The sick fuck is easy to beat.   I’ve done so, many times.  Happiness is a joke or drug or meal or compliment away.  The right music, movie, or book makes a world of difference.  Maybe all you need is a small coffee with a warmed up chocolate chip cookie.   That shit works for me!   Wellness is a matter of exercise and endorphins, sleep, meditation, yoga, a shower and a swim, and nap.  Sex never hurts, either.  Okay, let’s get started. 

      First, my teaching method is systematic, structured, and hopefully comprehensive.  If I forget or neglect any salient points, please point them out.  I appreciate your point of view and perspective.  I crave constructive criticism.  The more engaged you are, the more you’ll learn, and the more fun you’ll have, as well.  You might even earn a higher grade.  Keep me on my toes.  Keep thinking.  I encourage you to process the class by writing about it in your own personal journals or blogs.  I love reading feedback, and am always looking to improve.

Preliminaries aside, where should I start?  

       God.  What is God?  Does He exist?  How do you define Him?  Is it a useful concept?  God is a 3 letter word, with entire libraries written about him or her or it. (For me, the first things I think of are Dog and Good.  Dog is god backwards, and good is god with an O.  The devil is lived, backwards.)  Some say it’s a meaningless word.  Some say it means everything.  Some say God doesn’t exist.   Adi Da said Reality is all the God there ever is.  (That’s pantheism:  God is the ONLY thing that exists).  Many think God is something in between.  (Jesus said don’t call me good, only God is good.  My friend Heather thought that quote was disappointing, how we kind of need him to be good, God…) How many gods are there?  Should the g always be capitalized?  What are his or her names and attributes?  YHWH, the tetragrammaton.  Allah, the. beneficent, the merciful.  The Flying Spaghetti Monster.  How many religions are there?  How many religions have there been in history?  Is it All-1, as Dr. Bronner says on his soap bottles?  Can all religions be unified, conflated, syncretized?  Are we all talking about the same thing?  Are all Gods avatars and facets and manifestations of The One?  

       Good is god with an O.  God and orgasm.  God and oblivion.  God and offense.  Lots of possible interpretations.  The Oh looks like a zero, which might be meaningful for some of you.   Between the positive and negative, or something.  Nullibiety.  Holes.  Things that make you go hmm.  God is great.  Great is gr…eat.  Like meat.  Or infinite anger.  So it goes.