By God, Be God, for goodness sake!

A BOOK INTRO

      Good morning.  I’m glad you chose to read my book.   There are about 130 million books, ever.   So I, the book, the author, (neither, really, but so it goes), thank you.  I hope you enjoy it.  I will write about sex, and violence, and other fun subjects, like food and music.  

      No I won’t.  I’ll write about whatever I feel like writing, and that will make it fun to read, not slavishly adhering to topics I think you might be interested in.   So, I’m God, you know.  That’s always interesting.  

      How did I discover this?  Over time, it became evident.  The spirit moves in mysterious ways.  Basically, I hear voices, get little zaps (shocks) in my brain, and pains in my body (usually my chest).  Also, my teeth tap, sometimes.  It’s nuts, really.  I started a blog, and I thought it would be a fun premise.  I’m basically an atheist.  And now I’ve drunk my own kool-aid.  I’ve thought about theology and religion a lot, and I think I’m right (like everybody else?), so I think I’m somewhat of an authority.  I’ve read the bible.  I’ve read the Quran.  I’ve read some Adi Da.  I’ve read lots of wikipedia.  I’ve read some Buddhism.  I took an anthropology of religion class, and a theology class, as a student at UC Davis.  I was an altar boy.  I was a lector.  My aunt is a nun.  I read some Scientology, and took their personality test.  I was an Eagle Scout: on my honor I will do my duty to god and my country; a scout is reverent.  I went to a Jesuit high school, and sang in the senior year liturgy group.  My name, Jesse, is biblical (the father of king David).   In spanish, it can translate as Jesus (hey Zeus!).   The name means “the whole office of the eucharist,” or “god’s gift”, or “god makes forget.”   Jesse can be rearranged as SJ See (as in the Holy See, and there is a jesuit pope).  Jesus, in fact, can be rearranged as JESS, U.   There are a plethora of Gods in my name (Jesse Lawrence Teshara): Set and Ra (egyptian), Ishara (hittite), Shara (sumerian), etc.  J is the tenth letter, and satan and listen evoke 10.   WWJD?  He would write.  I won the journalism award in high school.  I enjoy writing.   So why not add another book to the pile, to the library, to the world’s reading list.   Maybe I’ll be translated, discussed, written about, in turn.  Maybe, just maybe, I’ll make the world a better place: reduce suffering, increase happiness, make the world saner and healthier, safer, lovelier, pleasant, comfortable, funny, and kind.  The world is heaven, if you’re in the right frame of mind.  And it doesn’t hurt if you have freedom, money, access to libraries, friends, healthy and delicious food, movies, a gym membership, sex.  If you have any questions, the internet usually has an answer.  Curiosity meets Omniscience.  That’s pretty cool!

      So, as you may have gathered, I’m diagnosed with schizophrenia.   But I’m high functioning.  I’m a philosopher and theologian, as a hobby.   I enjoy writing.  I walk dogs.  I read a lot.  I listen to a lot of music.  I have a gym membership.  I aspire to be proficient in martial arts and self-defense.  I hope to escape madness; for my schizophrenia to go into remission.  It happens, it’s possible.  We’ll see.  I have good support in my family, and a few good friends.  I am single, and asexual.   Ideally, my day is busy, and I wake early, read a book/day, and exercise.   The best exercise is when I work up a sweat.  I’m planning on moving to Portland.  My rent in Berkeley is good, for the bay area, and my family lives in SF.  I get free wifi, free food, free dental, (almost) free meds, and discount bart and gym (clipper card and ymca).  Yoga is available, and free, too.  Life is good.   I have an Amazon Echo, with a music subscription, for only $3.99/month.  My blog gets an average of around 85 page views a day.  My life has meaning.  I like to think I am improving, and getting healthier in both mind and body.  I want to lose my gut, but gain muscle.  My voice is becoming less invasive, on track to extinction, I hope.  I also want to eat less meat, if not go vegan, entirely.  I want to be strong, fit, healthy, well, sane.  I want to be all I can be, an example to others, and morally straight.  Maybe, eventually, in a relationship, in love.  But  now, I am often angry, and solitary, and resentful.  My parents can be annoying.  I hate Trump.  Most people are idiots.  I am adopted, and pro-life.   There are no pro-life democrats running for president.  Maybe I am hated.  I often hate my own mind, if it can be called that.  Sometimes life can be hell.  But mostly, it is good.   Lately, it’s been good.  I hope it stays that way.  I enjoy having, writing, reading my own blog.  The dogs I walk love me, and their owners appreciate my service.   I hope for personal progress, American progress, global progress.  That’s what the God project is all about.  But I don’t want to be a pawn in others’ chess game.  God is love, and love believes all things, but I don’t.  I’m partial to Warren, Buttigieg, Yang, Bernie, Klobuchar…  I don’t have time to read (or evaluate) everybody’s policy proposals.  I like to think I’m liberal.  I think politicians have a duty to tell the American people the truth.  I think they should read books.  I think the world should aim to be a global community, and enrich one another, not a bunch of petty warring tribes.   And I think a president should strive to set an example, as a true leader, by being healthy, eating vegetarian, not smoking, and siding with the poor, not billionaires, to alleviate suffering and make the world a better place.   Clean water, preventing global warming, investing in clean energy, no nukes, universal healthcare, spending on infrastructure, libraries, education.  Pretty basic stuff.  My ideal world wouldn’t have militaries.  A United States of the World, where security was maintained by police, a martial arts/self-defense ethic, and global gun ownership.  Not sure that’s possible, or would really work, but that’s what I believe.  A balance of terror is still terrorism.  Nuclear weapons are an abomination (no pun intended).   Everybody should have work and a lifestyle they enjoy.  We only have one life, and it should be pleasant.  We can do that for each other.  

     People should be engaged with life, not zombies, trudging through life, or suffering fools, or hating work.   I have a list of books I want to read.  I also have thousands of trivia cards I’ve collected I want to use as an educational springboard, in addition to the online resources like J! Archive, or Wikipedia, or Ted, or Coursera.   There is lots of daily news to process.  There are lots of beautiful people to meet.  There is good money to be made, making a better world.  There’s comedy and humor and satire and jokes and laughter and fun, to keep you positive.  There are hobbies like yoga, white water rafting, hiking and camping, and restaurants to keep life exciting.  All the world’s a stage: try different roles.  There are different cultures and religions to travel to, or even join, learning new languages and rituals.  Life is amazing.  It should be fun and rewarding, not painful or boring.  There are problems to solve.  Be a part of the solution.  Be good, better, best.  Be all you can be.  Be in love.  Be God!