whuddup dawg

what's up

I can’t write for shit.  So I get drunk.  Just write whatever.  Fill the blank page with words.  This is it.   This is the result.  Aren’t you happy I’m writing?  This is some good shit.  I’ll write about dog walking.  Today I walked in on a dog owner that was asleep!  The dog was in the bedroom, and I woke the woman in bed.   Yikes!   What if she had a gun?  She forgot I was coming.  Scary shit, if you ask me.  There was no screaming or gunfire!, thank you Dog. The other day my phone didn’t work (the wag! App didn’t let me in), so I walked off-line.   In other words, the satellite didn’t track my route, and I couldn’t submit a report, after, on the phone, like usual.  I decided to leave a 3x5 index card with my summary, in the house.  Old school.  The nanny told me how to get back in, and I closed the door behind me.  No tip, but there should’ve been!  That was stressful.  I called Wag! 4 times, trying to iron that shit out.  30 minute wait, the machine said. Never again.  It was because I downloaded the new app version after accepting a walk on the old, I think.  It still should have worked, but it just didn’t.   The bone just kept spinning.  The dog’s name was Brooklyn, which is kinda gangsta.  A black dog, like the Led Zeppelin song.  Anyway, when I walk a dog, I give it treats for doing good stuff (ignoring other dogs, sitting at the corner, sometimes even for pooping), and give gentle tugs on the leash to pull them away from foxtails or chicken bones or whatever, like maybe pedestrians or squirrels or cats.   Sometimes I let them interact with other dogs, but I try to keep the leashes from tangling when they circle around.  Junie is psycho.  She barks at every dog, even though she’s little.  I saw a pet pig, on a leash, here in Berkeley, once.  Her name was Penelope.  So cute!  That would be awesome if I got a Wag! opportunity for that.  I eat pastor tacos, though, so maybe the karma is against me.  Now I’m hungry.  I had a sushi burrito and a guinness beer, earlier, but I’m still hungry.  I could order a pizza.  I got a Papa John’s special today in my email.  Or I could just eat a bowl of cereal.  I have lots of free food.  I ate a bowl of raspberries in my plain yogurt I got from Trader Joe’s, earlier.  I didn’t eat my daily gnc protein powder…. Well, no worries.   Ttyl, gang.  Chuy.   Aka Jesus, Isai, Jesse, or just plain old Jess.  Word, dawg!