Phlegmatic Humour

Ha ha ha 

Ohhh.  I am so sick.  Ugh.  Yuck.  Phlegm.  Ew.  And the headaches are the worst.  I’m learning not to cough too strenuously.  But I have a jacket and blanket and dog to keep me warm.  I just want to get out of this state.  No, not Oregon.  Sick, ill, diseased, or whatever.  Maybe I have covid.  I’ll test tomorrow (antigen test: negative).  Get lots of rest, drink lots of water, and keep hacking up all that nasty shit, get it out of me.  Watery eyes, drippy nose, chest congestion, tickle in my throat, gradual buildup, to sneeze or blow or cough.  I'm going through paper towels like crazy.

I’ve been listening to radio all day.  WHRB classical.  I walked BM twice.  I attempted to feed Felix (the lizard).  He’s not hungry.  He ate 4 mealworms last night, though.  Big juicy ones.  He ate some veggies, too.  A guy from Greenpeace came to the door, last night.   And a guy selling tamales came, today.  Maybe I should have bought some.  He seemed shady.  He left right after ringing the bell, and had his hand over his right pocket of his jacket.  If he took something, I don’t know…  Anyway, maybe I’ll get a Kim Jong Grillin’ meal tomorrow.  It’s a ritual, every time I come to Portlandia.  I won’t eat S and P’s ice cream.   But I did eat the salami, and chicken, and had a beer, and a kind bar.  I used the ice machine for the first time - kinda cool.  Cold water with lemon?  Better than room temp, maybe.   Burns calories, anyway.  I’m told the best thing to drink is water, always.  Gatorade might disagree, but I’m not shilling for Gatorade.  I met a guy on the train who was eating from a tin of cat food.  Ew.  Well, I’ve never had it, so maybe I shouldn’t knock it.  

I met a guy with a velvet purple collar around his neck.   Maybe something sexual, but I didn’t ask.  And I was talking in my sleep, on the train.   Well, not really: it was more like the adults in Charlie Brown: wa wa wa wa.  I knew I was doing it, too, but couldn’t stop myself.  Weird.  I apologized to the guy next to me, he said it was alright:  he was trying to figure out what I was saying, lol.  The answer: nothing.  Nothing at all.   I just didn’t take my nightly meds.   I have trouble sleeping if I forget to take my meds.  I was just making different pitch sounds, like staccato moans or something.  Well, anyway - it was an 18 hour ride.   The scenery was beautiful (I went to the observation car), the food was good (I got a cheeseburger), I met some interesting people, and my round trip ticket was only $186.   I’m not sure if that’s cheaper than flying or not, actually.  Tickets are cheaper the earlier you buy them.  

Pierre picked me up in his new car.   They traded the Nissan Leaf for a Mercedes electric SUV.   Super nice (EQS 450)- I told him about my brother’s car, with all the bells and whistles.  And how I thought Tesla made the safest cars, I read somewhere.  Anyway, I straightened up the house after they left, like I usually do, and my plan is to process email, maybe whittle it down to zero, ideally.   It’s over 1100, though. I also have endless Economist articles available (digital subscription).   So if I get over this damn sickness, inshallah (god willing), I have email, news, and their library to keep me busy.  When I’ve eaten enough of their food, Sara said she would order Instacart groceries for me. I’ve done the Safeway app during the pandemic, and I imagine it’s probably the same.  

I’ll be here for Christmas.  They put up a stocking for me.  Augie asked if I was related to somebody, because they call me Uncle.  Nope, just an old friend of Sara’s, like Chris is of Pierre.  Sara asked Augie if he likes me or Chris better, lol.   Anyway, I already gave them my gifts:  An aerobie disc for Augie, and one that lights up you can throw at night, and a regulation weight frisbee (ultimate, 175 grams).  I gave him a Judy Blume book, and Pierre a cooking with marijuana book, and Sara a Julia Child biography, 'My Life in France’ (not a cookbook), and Hugo a box of (64) crayons.  His favorite color is blue, he said.  Augie and I threw the aerobie, and played air hockey, and watched “Karens” on tv, about rude “entitled” women who demand privilege and special treatment.  It was a little funny, but some of it was hard to watch.  Augs also is into a video game (Block Fruits, or something?) (lots of fiery swordplay), with gamer commentary on YouTube.  I gave Race Matters, by Cornel West, to anybody or everybody that wants to read it.   I found it in a Little Free Library.  I read it at Julie’s a while ago.  I also gave the gang a Portland version of Monopoly, with actual Portland properties.   We started, so I taught some of the rules, (but there’s actually no rules with the box;  I got it at the thrift store in Berkeley).  Capitalism - teach them young!  (arghh).  I asked Pierre if my BTC (bitcoin) was part of the fork they’re taking off the Coinbase platform, and he said no, not to worry about it (BSV, “bitcoin satoshi’s vision”).  He gave me around $15 worth, years ago and last I checked, it was worth over $750.   Cool, eh?

So I need to water the plants, keep the dog and lizard water bowls full, give the lizard worms and veggies (he’s “brumating” - word for lizard hibernation), keep BM’s bowl supplied, and walk maybe 3x a day.  I brought poop bags, and treats.  My hip pack is starting to unravel, so I’m putting stuff in my pockets.  I brought gloves and an earflap hat and snow pants, lol.  It won’t be a white Christmas here, though.  Pierre’s bike is always a possibility, maybe a trip to the Reed library, again.  I gotta find the u-lock and key, though, and maybe do some maintenance.  Hot showers and mushroom coffee, multivitamins, fish oil, and my meds, along with brushing my teeth, flossing - will hopefully keep me going strong.  Lots of sleep, and writing (“never cease praying”?), and drinking lots of aqua, is my plan.  If I have covid, nothing changes, I’m here with the pets.  I brought facemasks, but didn’t use one on the train.  Well, wish me luck!   Peace out.

Jess

CS cough suppressant

HL honey lemon

Christian Science Hannibal Lecter?

  Clive Staples Holy Land

Amtrak

What if a tree falls on the track?  Does the engineer have a chainsaw?

Why do the trains stop when another is passing? Do the tracks get closer after earthquakes or something?

Algae: AL G.  Algi. Carbon capture company.  Modular.  Go, Earth!

I am sick.  Sick of being sick, too.  I might have had covid.  I’m too lazy to read the test instructions.  (antigen test, Friday, negative)

Teshara: as earth, heart, hater.   Shat ear.  He’s a rat.  Art a she. (online anagram generator!)

Mount Ararat

I ate salami, limeade, 3 kind bars, milk and cereal (kashi), an orange, 4 bananas, pasta, chicken, chili, a beer, and cough suppressants.  There’s chocolate and ice cream, but I’ll wait til I’m healthy for that, maybe.   I bought a bulgogi from KJG.  Life is good.   Plus a couple sausages with sour cream, and another beer.  About time to order some food from Instacart.  I don’t want to eat everything.  

v

You’re all, Jesse

The homeless need to figure their shit out, like now

Graffiti has value to me, if and only if it meets (one or all of) 3 criteria: Colorful, Artistic, Legible

Smash the Patriarchy! (S and P, continued)

Portlandia and the global South

Who let the dogs out.  Who who who who who

I should check the gates to see if they’re locked shut

I checked the gates.   The gate behind the car COULD be opened, just like the side bathroom COULD be accessed, but neither seems very likely.  I watered the plants.  I don’t think the outside plants need any watering.   Rain is forecast later this week - of course, right?: This is Portland!

I watered the plants, the xmas tree, even the Venus fly trap, and the plant in the butt-shaped container.   No plants downstairs.  I hit the pyramid in Pierre’s office, and all the pots in the kitchen/dining room/living room.  Fresh veggies for Felix.  This is his third day of refusing mealworms.  Maybe tonight.

Corvids with covid, mad crow disease (!)

Wintun indians in the Indian winter

  Indian summers aren’t summer in India

  Wintertime, steve miller  (can’t spell winter without inter)

  Summercamp - Augs wants to be a Boy Scout, maybe 

So chill

And the birds have all flown for the summer

creepy-crawlin’, here me callin’

Ballin’ and bawling, haul down the hall, 

   a mauling at the mall, the gall of Gaul

there's Baul, too (look it up!)

  (with my Apple, you highlight, then select 'look up')

Prison has tall walls, y’all

Rising sun, Felons fall 

Saul and Paul, doll

well, I’m improving.  Slowly, but surely.   The intervals between coughing up gobs of phlegm are getting longer.  And the gobs, smaller.  I ate a couple sausages, with sour cream, and had a few swigs of gross apple blueberry beer.  Also, I finished the box of kashi cereal, with water (because I finished the milk, yesterday).  My blog only got 10 views today.   Oh well.  I walked BM once, today.  We should probably go again, soon.  It’s just after 4:20p.  Sara got 2 packages.  And a padded envelope, in the mailbox.  I gave BM her daily dental chew.   She takes it outside.  I’m listening to music and thanking god for being able to breathe.  Small pleasures can really be big.  I’m not starving.  The basics.  I’ve got a cold sore on my lower lip.  It comes every couple years, I’d guess, then goes away.  Started in grammar school when I busted my lip while walking on top of a chain link fence.  I’m not out of the woods, yet.  No phlegm, and at 100% (no herpes), and no more coughing, then I’ll be good to go.  Go where?  Hahaha.  

Speaking of being in the woods, there are some homeless tents out nowhere, that seem like they’d be really miserable in this kind of Portland outdoor gloom.  But to each his own, I guess.  I mean, humans had to live in wigwams and teepees and yurts and whatnot, for most of history, right?  

Nice music on the echo.  Just YouTube videos on the tv.   I don’t want to change their settings.   So back to my computer.  I have SO MUCH to read, it’s insane.  I know I don’t have to read any of it.  But completion would be the bomb.  Who wants a bomb, though?  I don’t. 

Jess T and jest: ingestion, congestion, majesty, suggest, etc. 

    pajestic outgestion? a questionable suggestion?

clarity and majesty and gregarious hilarity, in a blizzard in egypt

dangerously erinaceous victorious victim went to the gym

   it's all relative (b.e.d.s.?), sonic the hedgehog

cold, flu, covid, pneumonia, RSV : bad shit goin 'round

    respiratory infections, bugs, bacterial, viral

my nose stopped running (no legs, haha)

my dry mouth thing stopped, and the headaches, too.  

slept well, coughing less often, with less "production"

   improving, I hope!

Mom says, hi my guy (ay ay ay)

Peggy likes the PG-rated movie about the pugnacious pig

Lucas' mucous!  turn to the dark side! rebuked for puking!

   whiskey in San Franciskey

autistic and artistic mystic, with cystic fibrosis

   going ballistic agains sadistic fish sticks?!

prisoner of war, at a pow-wow, reading parliament of whores

kleptomaniac klutz, feeling verklempt

fainting ain't feinting

pope on the ropes? a pontiff plaintiff

   defendant defending ants

christ! they chewed up my chasuble!

anarchists eating antique rice

  antichrist isn't aunty christ isn't ant-christ

  sister christian and a christ for every species -

    (wombat-christ? kangaroo-christ? meerkat christ?)

anointed with oil and annoyed with chevron

oil and ants don't mix, unless they're those fancy ants, Lance or Vance, who don't stand a chance, at dance or romance, unless they get out of our pants and on to plants, rants Penzance

chris tucker (chris t) and icy tears (criced)

Father O' Blivion - Frank Zappa

life and light and lies and my lai and jai alai

you can't spell belief without 'lie'

assess the s.s. - the nazis are playing Yahtzee 

you dig graves?  sometimes I dig reading gravestones!

   Doug the dag (deputy attorney general) says I dig, dawg

cannibal on his last legs; cannibal can nibble; cannibal on cannabis

so verily we must choppeth them up, 

  and stompeth them down -Dumb All Over (Frank Zappa)

G-D, as gold dust

Des'ree says you gotta be: bad, bold, wiser, 

    hard, tough, stronger, cool, calm, stay together

    keep your head up, release your fears, etc.  

I say you don't have to be anything, lol

   you can give up, you don't have to keep fighting

dying may be painful, but death itself is painless :-)

Into Dust, by Mazzy Star

   (kind of the last word on everything)

so sad

Dreaming while awake

Death ain’t no sleep, honey

Nobody wakes up from death

Sting the beekeeper 

Cops outside the Police concert

scumi music?

Numb on red rum

Uncomfortably numb

Life is grand, life is good, life goes exactly as it should

Life is great, life is swell, pieces of shit get flushed to hell

Libraries have books, restaurants food

Whatever you want is out there, dude

Calm pew tore- tell me, compute 

   187x666=124,542

   420x69=28,980

   14x333x351x343=561,272,166

Or should I keep to the basic addition/plus?

   187+666=853

   420+69=489

   14+333+351+343=1041

ya, whatever, never mind

murder, evil, drugs, sex, and scout troops, lol

FOX and porn (XXX) and OFF

Computers do a helluva lot more than add and multiply, lol

They subtract and divide, too!!

  AM and SD

    I AM is God (14)

    SD is Satan, Devil (14, too) 

God is 8, Satan 10, Devil 7

7+1=8,     satan plus devil = god

Seedy cough drops, honey lemon

Honey won’t you squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg -Led Zeppelin (kinda)

Hannibal=H=God=MD=8, forever and ever

And that’s a mighty long time

On and on (and on and on!)

HTC and THC 

Hannibal the cannibal, and tetra hydra cannabinol

CHT, CTH, HCT, TCH?

Cross-sex hormone therapy

Calum Thomas Hood, musician, 5 seconds of summer

Healthcare technician

A batch of matches for the bitch

Don’t diss my dog, dawg!

“Who you callin’ dog?” = “woof”

Ninkasi and ninjitsu, drunken monkey style japanese-assassin

Oatmeal stout, OS (old scratch)

Chunky and hunky punky skunky funky monkey (marijuana name)

Big hunk and chunky are candy bars

Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya, Monk? Monks can be punks!  Allah is all!