Journal Entry

 Well, another day, by myself.   Mike popped in and gave me some ginger chews.   I’ll re-gift them, even though I like them, because last time I chewed on those things my crown came out!  So I’m packing for my trip to Portland, to see SPAH, which I’m looking forward to.  I just bought a carne asada nachos from one of the taco trucks here, and I’ll probably get some Korean barbecue from a truck up there.  I’ll feed and walk Banh Mi and Augie’s pet lizard, Felix.  Felix doesn’t need walking, though, I bet.  Maybe he’ll run around in one of those hamster balls?   Or a wheel?  It’s kind of a big lizard.  Not iguana sized, but bigger than an alligator lizard.  Anyway, I’ve got 2 bars of hand-made soap and 3 books (1 quotes by women, and 2 Neil Gaiman compilations) for Sara and Pierre, a nerf blaster and darts for Hugo (too soon?), and a frisbee for Augs.  I want to read my History of Philosophy, by Grayling.   I’ll bring my computer, and check my daily blog stats, if not write some more.  I’ll be gone 12 days.  It’ll probably be wet and cold, typical Portland OR, but whatever.   They’re going to Puerta Vallarta.  I’m bringing my Frogg Toggs, which are kind of fun.  Maybe I’ll buy a copy or two of Bertrand Russell’s History of Philosophy, which Michael wants to read again (and teach from), from Powell’s or something.  Anyway, I resumed push-ups today.   I should’t go for a week of no push-ups, but oh well, I did 120.   Good to be home, although Duke was well-behaved.  He didn’t run off, when he was on the path, off-leash, and he didn’t poop in the house.  My bike is wobbly, though.   I’ll fix it when I get back.  Susan and Ron’s flight was cancelled, and she said it was raining, in Maui.  They went for Ron’s birthday, same as last year.  I’m listening to some Global Underground on YouTube.  I’m going to schedule a volunteer (AARP) tax assistance session at the local branch library, tomorrow morning.  And pay my rent/utilities/wifi to Edgar.  And walk Snoopy and Shelby.  Good exercise.  I’m bringing my Kindle.   It’s perfect for reading in the dark, on the train, and you can make the print any size.  My train leaves 9:41p tomorrow, from Emeryville.  I might Uber over there, from Berkeley.  Life is good.   Too short, and too much I want to do, but still good.  My house is like living in Mexico, 24-7, anyway, lol.  I gotta stop eating junk.  Cheers, Jess

Heehaw

 The Divine Comedy

God, comedian.  Life as a series of little jokes.  We’re in God’s comedy club.   We and He are the audience.   The whole kit and caboodle is one giant joke.   The punchline?  No, not 42.  Well, maybe.   I’d have to think about it. 47?  Lol 

Joke 1- Won?  I won?  Ya, right.   

Joke 2- You too?  

Joke 3- The holy trinity (mouth, ass, pussy?) 3 holes

      mouse, donkey, cat

Joke 4- For?  Fore!  Kerplonk

Joke 5- 5 alive at the Pentagon? Sugar kills

Joke 6- sicks…vomit…puke….barf

Joke 7- Satan gets even (sure, whatever)… in and out, multiples of 2, lol

Joke 8- something I ate

Joke 9- Nein! Says the German

Joke 10- net, backwards (ten fish, and the one that got away)

well, anyway

I am infinitesimally small.  The universe is infinitely big.  The only way to bridge the gap is through God.  Actually, throwing infinity around is irrational.  Even if we can conceive of a universe in our skulls, or a Universe of spacetime without borders, getting ever smaller, and ever bigger, ad infinitem, we’re left no better off.   You kind of have to choose.   They’re conceptually incompatible.  How can you both Big and Small?  Like a flaccid and erect member.   Whiplash from examining an amoeba and then a Blue Whale.   Or an ant and an elephant.   Or a mite and The Almighty.  The tiny and the gargantuan might not be as different as we think.   Maybe size is just a result of a snippet of DNA, the rest of which shares a common ancestor or something.  What if there are human giants, that make us seem like ants?  Or little people, wee lil sprites that live in toadstools or whatever?  Can genetic engineering make this a reality?  Haha.  

Atheism

A different view

God does not exist.  The universe was not created by a conscious entity, in the same way a child builds a project from Legos, say.  And no one is listening to your prayers, or out in space somewhere with your dead relatives, or has a brain that knows absolutely everything, or has all the superpowers you can imagine, and can therefore do anything.  No one is the source of all goodness, or loves everyone, or can deliver us all from evil, or is infinite in any way, such as always or everywhere or infinitely good.   Any definition of God you choose, He does not exist.  All definitions are universally vacant.  God is entirely imaginary, fiction, make-believe.  God has never answered any prayer, ever.  He is merely a concept.  The concept of God was invented by stupid people, and has gotten way out of hand.  Now there are thousands of Gods, all of them nonsense and utterly ridiculous, and the monotheistic God, by whatever name, be it Allah, or Yahweh, or The Flying Spaghetti Monster, is pure madness and folly.  We would all be better off without it, embracing science and reality and facts.  The truth will set you free.

Even if you subscribe to “Reality is all the God there ever is”, you would still be wrong.  Reality doesn’t exist!  Nothing is real.  We are all fictions of each other’s imaginations.  I do not exist, and neither do you.  Objects are not objective.  These words have no meaning.  Everybody is basically a bubble, waiting to pop.  Time doesn’t exist, either, however.   Everyone is already dead.  The universe fits on the head of a pin.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  The world is a vampire.   Vampires don’t exist.  If anything existed, it would feel real.  But it’s all dead.  Words from a zombie, describing everything as nothing.  Nothing matters.  A pointless, meaningless existence that in fact doesn’t actually exist.  My imagination is unimaginably imageless.  I love love?  I am love?  I am loveless, and in fact don’t even know what love is.  God is reality, but I know nothing.   Do you know me?  I don’t know me.  There is no I.  Alive or dead, it makes no difference.  I never existed, anyway.  Do you?  I don’t think so.  I don’t think.  So?  Thought doesn’t exist.  That’s not thought - that’s merely being logical.  Cross forever ought to ugh?  Yeah, whatever.  

What is the opposite experience of all this?  Hopelessly in love, head over heels, madly in love with the love of your life, The One, good vibrations, excitations, etc. etc. and so on, and so forth.  Allelujiah, praise the lord.  Or whatever.   Bible babble.   God's blog, Jessology.  Jessologists get the gist.   You dig?  The crux of the biscuit is I am the walrus!  It's all gravy!

Missives from Outer and Inner Space

Hello, world

This is God.  From up here in heaven, I’ve noticed a few things about your planet.  I have some suggestions.  First, you have too many religions.  Unless you syncretize and merge them all into one giant ball of Me, I’m going to be forced to have to take sides.  I would hate to have to do that.  Secondly, you’ve got heaven all wrong, ass-backwards.  It’s not in outer-space.   For humans, it’s earth.  Personally, I like my planet orbiting Beta Reticuli the best, but that’s just me.  You humans are nothing like me, aside from looking similar.  Thirdly, I don’t taste like Godiva chocolates, gouda cheese, or any other ambrosia you have, including the body of Christ.  I merely taste like good old boring chicken.   I cut off my arm last week and ate it, so I definitely know.  Don’t worry about me, I can do anything.   My new arm is coming along nicely.  Finally, I’m coming to visit, in a month.  You are warned.  You have time to prepare.  I’d like to visit with the Dalai Lama and the Pope and make a stop at Mecca and go to a pow-wow and maybe read everything at the Library of Congress, if you could possibly download all that data into a computer for me, ahead of time, would be greatly appreciated.  I will cure all your diseases for you, if you can manage that, okay?  I look forward to meeting you all!

-God

This is the Devil speaking:

Greetings, earthlings.   From down here in hell, deep in the bowels of your shitty planet, I want to make known that God is not welcome here.   Keep Him on your surface, but don’t let him enter any mines, mineshafts, volcanoes, or tectonic fissures.   He will get burned, and it will be His own damned fault, so Be Warned.  I am the God here, not Him, and I like it hot and heavy.   God is cool, up there in the clouds, but all this magma and lava and pressure are not where He belongs, and the screaming cries of the damned are not the kind of thing he’s used to what with all that angelic harping and heavenly choirs and the Grateful Dead and whatnot.  Tell your space-deity he can Go to Hell (but only if he's prepared to suffer the torments and agony of those He rejects from his perfect la-di-da cushy little utopian escapist getaway he calls Heaven, alright?).

Good golly gosh

Theo-babble

God is love. Love is good.  God is good.  Good is not bad, good, better, best, perfect.  God is great.   The source of all goodness.  God is always and everywhere, now and forever.   Reality is all the God there ever is.  God creates, maintains, destroys.  God created the Universe, and the Sun, and Earth, and Life.  God is a concept.  God is dead.  Atheists are ace theists.  I believe in Love.  Morpheus is the God of dreams.  The devil is the lord of hell.  Life is but a dream.   There are dreams within dreams.  We are just holograms, some say.  There are Gods and Monsters, sinners and saints, angels and demons, the innocent and the guilty, the good bad and ugly, lovers and haters.  Sometimes the same person, all at once.  Life is beautiful.  Life is shit.   People are filled with gratitude and malice.  Ain’t life grand?  If its all God, you are free to do anything, it’s all good!  You can be a cop or a robber.  A civilized beast.  Be all you can be.  You cân do it all.   Put the ALL in Allah.  Put the YOU in You-niverse.  Be good.  You got to let love rule.  May the force be with you.  Win or lose, strong or weak, dead or alive.  God bless.  Go with God.  May the wind be always at your back.  Let it be, let it snow, let there be light, let us pray, let kids be kids, let it happen, let freedom ring, let go and let god.  Let it bleed.  

Hardsoft

He who wakes up famous hasn’t been asleep!

Hard work on software

Working hard on something that hardly works

Hardcore porn and playing softball 

Eating a soft boiled egg while watching Laurel and Hardy

Tim Hardaway and Soft Cell

Hard of hearing and soft rock

The firm that makes Squishies

Essential oils aren’t 

We discussed disgust

tribal troubadours

Calling for ya, California

The sole soul drinking a Sol (“maekju”, Korean for beer) in Seoul

Uruguay and Urumqi (and Uruk-hai)

Candidates and candid dates

Subsidence and subsistence

confidence at the conference

Water pollution: literally full of littoral litter

Friends with fiends

A place of peace

Running on fuel, running on time

Muqtada Al- Sadr ing iron

Bodyguard “looking after” folks, and looking before you leap

A rapier wit in Napier NZ

suburban subversion

Yanomami and Yanodaddy

Macho Pikachu

William Tell Aviv

Accidental Occidental

Errant Oriental

I'm gaping because I was raped by an ape

Burkina Faso boyfriend, French Guiana girlfriend

vampires avoid the Preakness Stakes

nervous Nirvana, bliss in a blouse

ecstatic ex-static, formerly a fermion

presidential, presently dental (reality bites)

the Count D is an arithmomaniac

Quick Theo

On God

Collection of assertions about God

He exists, doesn’t exist, is dead, is a woman, is Reality itself…

Has names, titles, attributes, adjectives, definitions…

God’s name is I AM,  I Am Who Am, Allah, YHWH, Yeshua, Elohim, Adonai, El Shaddai, Brahma, Siva, Vishnu, Ganesh, Hanuman, Jealous, Zeus, Thor, Ra, Poseidon, Ahura Mazda..

God is love, god is great, god is good, god is the source of all goodness, God is a spirit

adjectives: God is holy, glorious, father, creator, perfect, father-son-holy spirit (trinity)

Titles! King, Holy One, Redeemer, Rock, Sabaoth, Eli, Kyrios, Mare, Despotes

Attributes! : Oneness, Uniqueness, Mercy, Omniscience, Almighty/Omnipotent

God doesn’t exist except in our imagination, God is virtual

God is dead

Too much verbiage, too complex

Keep it simple, stupid

Sufi?

Love pervading all reality, space - everywhere (omnipresence)

Maybe just hypnosis, but what’s the harm? Being happy?

  Unless you’re convinced we’re all like rocks, just matter, and will die into mindless oblivion.

(which I am, actually).   

Life can be fun, though.   So I plan to enjoy it while I can.   With gratitude.

I like endorphins, sweating, exercise, looking good, being in Nature, music, good books…

:-)

freedom, pleasure, good food

A and M

 I thought about the abortion issue and meat today

I have been reconsidering my pro-life position

It’s a balancing act between love and hostility

Between pleasure and pain, 

    The pleasure and pain of pregnancy

    The pleasure and pain of meat

The pleasure of pregnancy is sex, of course (assuming orgasm)

     And a child, if you want him or her (or them)

     And love, if your CHAMP sex is an act of bonding

        (consensual heterosexual adult marital procreative) sex

The pain of pregnancy is childbirth

      (which gets weighed against the life of a conception)

      And the imagined life of the child, (which cannot be predicted)

It’s the torment of parturition vs. the joy of an adoptive family receiving your child

Which is a no-brainer, for me

Kill your kid vs. give the gift of life and love?

Why do I care?

A mother choosing to abort her “products of conception” (clump of cells)

Is a stain, and immoral, and often a regret

EVERYONE is a clump of cells

Thou shalt not kill

I realize Abraham was willing to kill his son (Isaac)

And that Christians call Jesus’ crucifixion his “passion”

Even if the baby is disabled, terminating is an act of eugenics

Which is nazi, in my book

During Al Gore’s campaign, they played U2’s “beautiful day” at a pro-choice rally

This is sick and twisted. 

Abortion is not something to be proud of, happy about.

Persuading a mother to abort is evil.

I’ve heard a priest call abortion “the sacrament of the devil”

It debases society.   The aftermath is guilt.  It’s an act of self-hatred.

Your child is a part of you, and not an unwanted “growth” or just a hassle

The freedom to swing your fist ends at the tip of my nose - 

I take abortion personally.   I was adopted.  I had an excellent upbringing.

And that is the only moral choice.

We don’t have a right to kill each other (and especially your own baby!)

Meat is also on my mind.

The morality of it is a balancing between the pleasure of delicious meat

And

The immense suffering in the meat industry

If you don’t care, maybe you’re willing to abort, too.

It’s just death.  Everybody dies.   Everyone is a sinner.  So whatever.

Aborted fetuses are so small.  Who cares?

I do.

I think everyone should.

Unless you’re a satanist.   A jedi of the dark side.  Or maybe a Jew.

Life is beautiful or life is shit.   You get to decide.   (There’s only one healthy choice!!!!). then again, sometimes shit is beautiful, lol.

Have a beautiful day, you lovely clump of cells!

6 million jews died in the holocaust.  

63 million babies were killed in america, during Roe v. Wade.

WWII was 71-80 million.  

The number of slaughtered animals is innumerable.

Is this not all a tragedy?

How would you feel if I killed one of YOUR loved ones?

Which is worse? The pain of childbirth or the loss of a family member?

Which is better? The love of an adoptive family or removing an inconvenient truth?

I think it boils down to loving your own baby

And the general pervasive malice in society that wants to kill strangers

    or, indifference, at best

As a final point, the demand for adoptions outweighs the number of abortions, I believe.

Love thy neighbor!  Be fruitful and multiply!  Be good!   Eschew evil.

F and M, female and male, effem, ladies first

back in black

 Greetings and hello.   Across time and space, from author to reader.  My name is Jesse L. Teshara.   Your name is x.  Like Malcolm.  It is a cold, wet, dreary day, here in Berkeley.   The date is 1/11/2023.   My blog only got 5 page views today.  Yesterday it got 89.   Go figure.  I graduated from high school in 1989.   And I set my alarm this morning for 5a.  I got up at like 11a, though.  So much for early to rise.  I still want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise, of course.  I got up for a phone call from Kaiser.   Her name is Sarah.  Maybe she’ll hire me to walk her dogs.  She lives in Oakland. Anyway, my landlord comes back tonight, from Mexico.  Hope he had fun.  We need him.  The kitchen needs a plumber, an electrician, and one of the burners on the range doesn’t work (the knob).  Also, the wind blew open the front access to under the house.  I really hope some homeless person doesn’t crawl under my room.  And I haven’t paid this month’s rent and wifi yet.   750 and 5.  755 dollars. I bought a pair of slicker pants, which I wore today for the first time.  They’re called Froggs, made in China, bought on Amazon.  Patricia says she has a rain hat that doesn’t fit.   Maybe I can use it.   Karen says she’s like a leper, and was warned to keep distance.   I told her she needs Jesus, half-jokingly (she’s blind).  I think she replied, I need God.  Which is interesting, of course.  I had a dream last night that I was holding her.  I thought about making money as a professional cuddler, years ago.  Anyway,  I read 100 pages of Chaim Potok’s History of the Jews (“Wanderings”).   None today.   It’s about 500 pages.   Hopefully I’ll finish by Saturday, Miette’s bat mitzvah (10a, in San Leandro).  I read the Chosen as a freshman at SI, in Mr. Devine’s honors English class.  I’m looking forward to seeing Miette read hebrew.  My beard is long, and I look Jewish (I do without the beard, anyway).  I took a tour of a SF synagogue once.   And I lived next door to the Hillel house, in Davis.  But this will be my first bat mitzvah.  I’m looking forward to eating a couple super pastor tacos from Los Pericos, as well.  I’m going to give Julie and Sam my book of 1001 songs.  And Miette, the jewish history book.  My suit and tie and jacket and pants fit.   I tested them a couple days ago.  Sara said I look distinguished, which feels good.  Hopefully it won’t rain.   But I have an umbrella.  It’s a vented umbrella, for the wind.  Anyway.   My space heater is warming up my room.   The rain pitter-patters on the metal awning over my window.   The heater gives an ambient drone.   The traffic gives the sound of spray with every pass.  And my mind is mostly silent.  I decided to sit for 5 hours.   Then I decided to write.   So here I am.   1 hour down, 4 to go.   Then sleep.  No rain tomorrow, says my Echo.  Oh well.   I like the rain.  No word from Sara (or Pierre) about my blog.  I sent Sara a link to the S and P post.   I hope they like it.  I’ve printed it up, to give as a gift, when I go to Portland next month.  In other news, I haven’t exercised in a week.  So much for my new year resolution.  Intentions are the preferred label, now.  It’s cold and I feel lazy.   So it goes.  I ate a can of tuna (in oil), and some cheezits, and drank my Ryze mushroom coffee.  A hot shower might be nice.  I have some laundry to do, too.  Hot shower, hot clothes, hot chocolate.  I’ll pick up my Amazon package tomorrow, when it’s dry.  I’m expecting a hat and t-shirt, too.  Hopefully no one will steal the package from the doorstep.   I really don’t need another shirt.   But I thought a black one might be cool.  Black and blank.  I have a Darth vader mask for Ben and Declan, from the goodwill.  That’s the update, all I have to say.  Back to sitting.  I don’t ommmmm (lol).

Judaism

YHWH is the God.  Yod Heh Vav Heh, I think.   Tetragrammaton.  Does this God live? Is he alive?  Is this a living faith? Those are 3 different questions!  HWHY, backwards.  God is the reason for the season.  He tipped the planet!  Like a space alien.   Named Yahweh or Jehovah or who the f knows.  7858.  10.  Like Satan, or Santa.  Jew-duh-ism.  Numerology is a part of the spiritual process.  Numbers, numb brrr.   Darth Vader goes ho-brrr.  Berkeley is brrr, chilly.  Okay, I’m done.  Jesse, out.  Peace!

     Moses and Aaron, Abraham Isaac and Jacob, Genesis Exodus Leviticus Numbers Deuteronomy.   Pentateuch.  Joshua and Noah and David and Jesse.   Serving the animals bagels on the ark.  Just joshin’.   DJ, JD.  Deejays and doctors of jurisprudence.  The Jesse tree.  Jews and 10-ooze.  J is the tenth letter.  1 and 0.   Get it?  1 is a phallus.  0 is a hole.  A sexy religion.   Like binary.

     Warm regards,

J

wordplay

'god' is a letter? syllable? word? (in hebrew, transliteration)

    google doesn't say.  well, not a letter.   (romanization of hebrew).

So there''s God and god, hebrew and brew, Miette and R. Crumb

      Israel and the raelians (lol), jewelry and jews (ooze and ew)

I've met a guy named Israel, a woman named Koran, and a guy named Siva

Judah rhymes with Buddha... I'm cultivating the culture of a cult

I've met a (Jeff) Pon, a (Tim) Bishop, a (Mike) King,

   to go with Castle-(Scott), and Baruch Spinoza (rook?)

Michael Knight and Steve McQueen

Juan-during (wandering and wondering), Hurrians and Russians

a hisstory of snakes, straightening up my Mesopotamia,

laughter and fun in slaughter and funerals

   parishioners perish, let us prey, annoyed and annointed

   redemption and empty of red, bit and bitter, ambition

   get your fix (and crucifixion)

covens, ovens, convents, and covenants

babies in Babylon, yeshivas and no-hiv-as

bedoins in bed, pilgrims grimly taking pills, play Baal!

torture, torment, and Torah (and Torquemada)

meat is grr 8 (and god is great)

we await res-erection, let us spray: cum, lord Jesus, in holy glory, 

   3 holies, holy holy holy, bless this spiritual drink, 

with him, in him, through him: church members

blessed Mary, ever virgin? (Jesus had siblings, though, no?)