Jesus was one weird fish
He was a Jew.
He spoke aramaic, I think. So his name was Yoshua?
He thought his dad was God.
because Mary, his mother, thought she was inseminated by God?
(nothing like some crazy voices to create delusions, no?)
with a beginning like that, he grew up to be guru, and started a new religion-
-walked on water
-turned water to wine
-commanded the wind
-expelled evil spirits
-multiplied loaves and fishes
-helped the fishermen (herded fish?)
-gave sight to blind
-rose from the dead
-brought a friend back to life (reanimated Lazarus)
-reattached a severed ear
Personally, I'm a skeptic. But if you spend your whole life believing you're God's son, I guess one might accrue some personal spiritual power. Kind of like believing you're a jedi, today. I still think it's delusional and crazy, though. A virtual reality, not an actual one, is what I'm trying to say.
The crucifixion strikes me as unjust, but reveals how crazy Jesus was, in that he accepted it as the will of his father. Then again, maybe Jesus was really angry and dark, taking out his fury on diseases and mental illness, for example. There's a (non-canonical) gospel that has Jesus as a youth (killing?) someone, I think. So maybe he felt guilty, too. And, like the movie Kill Bill, if you survive a hit squad, you've pretty much got a moral blank-check to get revenge on your would-be assassins, so maybe Jesus survived his crucifixion and is now a vampire killing antichrists the world over.
See, I can be a little crazy, too.
1 year ago