I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 45) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 1000 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Free Speech

Some amendment to the american constitution (or is it the bill of rights) guarantees us americans the right to speech petition assembly religion and press (sparp, for short)

I want to deal with speech, here. Not having the right to free speech would be hellish. Going to jail for talking is nuts. Or, like the matrix movie where Neo's lips got sealed and he couldn't communicate, that's nuts, too. Censorship in any form is wrong, I feel. Even yelling "fire" in a crowded theater, in fact. Or not having contact with anyone resulting in no touch or body language or sharing of ideas and being forced to be in your own head all the time.

But people believe God hears your prayers. Get it? He hears your thoughts.

Maybe it's because he put those thoughts in there in the first place. Or God's brain can actually listen to 6 billion people thinking at once. Or, he has a way of sifting everybody's thoughts for those directed to him, OR for only basic needs, or something like that. Or, God is just another word for your conscience, and the unconscious mind has a way of talking back to you. Or, if you're schizophrenic/telepathic, God is either (unresolved) your own brain talking back to you in the form of another, or as the presence of an actual other who's camping in your head. In any case, I'm not sure I want there to be prayer. I mean, I don't want someone in my head, I think. We have to tell ourselves that this entity is all-loving, when really it's a distracting force for social control, working against what I define as one of the most important forms of freedom: freedom of thought. I have solved all these riddles; I am God. Whoever's in my head is a sinner. Evicted. Out! I'm performing an auto-exorcism. Can you ever exorcise God Himself? I admit I know not what I do, but hey, everybody says that's what sanity is.

So, like I said,
Maybe God is like a telepath who's in your head all the time. Who can both hear you (verbalizing in your mind) and talk back (inside your mind, or perhaps (rarely?) as mistaken for someone nearby speaking). A telepathic sender and receiver. An automatic process, that takes place because of a matrix (created by Jesus?). It seems like an invasion of privacy. Especially, when you don't know who or how or, especially, why somebody else is there. Some find it comforting, perhaps understanding it as a special link to the Source of all things good, i.e. God. Perhaps it's just karma for thought, and because I like to think, I reap what I sow. In other words, my thought is bothering the telepath, so my inner experience becomes annoying by way of virtual justice. If you want to call that justice. Then again, if I'm a global telepath, and the whole world can hear my thoughts then my thought might need some coaxing or drugs or censorship (at times). I live in a weird world. My world. People like to say "it's all your fault" but wouldn't it be weird if that were true? I feel like the pressure is on to up my game, as they say, for everybody else's sake. Maybe that's just a meme for social betterment, because if everybody felt that way... What if everybody personalized everything? I guess that's the origin of religious guilt. Sorry for the earthquakes, hurricanes, tidal waves, suffering in general, and of course, death. Maybe I AM responsible. Omniscience could be a terrible thing. I really am pro-life, though.

I feel connected, like I'm on the net even when I'm out biking or whatever, which means no privacy, an intolerance for imperfection, I'm never alone, I'm part of something bigger than myself (of which I can conjecture about but not define), and -in short- I'm not your average bear. Like a jedi or something, navigating the force. How much of "the force" is a creation of my own doing, I find myself asking.

Is it really in my grasp to change the world by perfecting my thought, speech, and behavior? It can't hurt to think so, although that world view can be troublesome and burdensome, unless you allow some tolerance for chaos and anarchy, or believe in fate. It's all in how you look at it: perfection could be anything.

Anyway, as Pink Floyd sings, someone's in my head but it's not me. Anyone who believes in the power of prayer believes in this insanity, too, although they couch it in different terms. See, I'm not so sure the one listening to me is necessarily good. Or bad. Maybe both. Maybe neither. It's a mystery. Psychiatrists on the whole seem sure that it's a bad thing, something broken, a mental illness, in need of treatment, medication, and whatever else (a good relationship, pets, whatever). A lot of what I hear in my head has multiple interpretations, and has a koan like quality, as if it's testing to see which interpretation I'll choose. Welcome to the machine.

Ugh. Get me out.

I don't want to be a captive audience to an unwelcome Somebody Else in my head. I used to enjoy it, like I was chosen and special and never alone, and the voice was entertaining, stimulating, interesting. Now I want to feel normal, even if getting what I want (silence in my head, except for me) is completely abnormal as the case may be. It's only madness if you get mad at it?

I guess, in Matrix terms, I want to swallow the blue pill, now. Moban actually is. Huh.

I think everybody should be free.
Freedom is good. Sounds good, no?

Be who you want to be, think/say/do what you want, with whoever, however, whenever, wherever, for whatever reason (whyever) you want. Whatever. It's all good.

No rules, no restrictions, everybody for themselves, do what thou wilt.
No law.
No jails, prisons, incarceration: Freedom
No slavery (mental, physical, sexual, corporate)

No law could prove a bit troublesome.

-Everybody cooperating for satisfying all of everyone's basic needs, including health care, on the one hand, is the ideal.
-But if you're predatory -a predator- you're inhuman, treated as unhuman, and eaten (!)
No, just kidding. Freedom of speech, remember?

Everyone dies. Death is the ultimate penalty. They say the wages of sin is death. Calling something a sin is just an attempt at giving utmost authority to some opinion. It's a social control mechanism. We're all gods, so whatever you like (or don't) is therefore the Word of God (if not the Almighty). Fortunately, there's a lot of agreement on what is right and wrong. Maybe we could trust in God and Karma for justice. Instead of only the good die young, reality should be understood as Only the good die old and happy, and Only the bad die young. That sounds good, but as we probably already know, it's a mad world, seemingly sometimes without reason or sense. The only way I can make heads or tails out of babies dying and aged monsters, is if God doesn't reckon morality like we do, such as, for example, the known fate of a baby is too ghastly to allow, or a world without a monster would be even worse. Or babies are so good they need to go to heaven right away. Or evil people are given a chance throughout the rest of their long lifetimes to turn their lives around and make good. Maybe history is punctuated by wars every so often is because they are incredibly fun to God or something. God being the alpha male of the moment, du jour, for the time being, or something. All is nonsense. War might even be a tad humorous to some enlightened gods out there, filled with silly people willing to die for such ridiculous reasons. And of course, for some, as Matt Groening says, life is hell. Which would make death the extinction of suffering, or possibly even the start of something blissful.

Ideally, life is heaven (fun), and death is (ranked by priority)
1)a gateway to another life in heaven/enjoyably (anyplace, anytime: contiguous in time, or at any time in the past or future, possibly without end), Some lives are more fun than others. You could live all the fun lives in whatever order you choose, and be reborn into a fresh being, making more :-) You could perfect the art of living. It could be like groundhog day, and you could forever tweak your favorite life. You could choose the same time period/person, or let reality choose lives for you.

the next most ideal for death could be either:
a)oblivion, to dust you shall return, your breath blowing around, and your body going into the ocean and the fish, or up into trees and plants and flowers (or Whatever). Scattered or assuming new forms.


b)Being reborn into a life with suffering, ranging from having traumatic misery or agony to the disquiet, dis-ease, yearning, dissatisfaction, in whatever proportions, that Buddhism says is inherent in all life. I find life infinitely more interesting than oblivion, I think, although I'm not sure if the food that forms me would make lots of little mini-me's imbued with my identity or consciousness, somehow running around like that Itchy and Scratchy cartoon where the Mouse (?) gets all chopped up into many smaller mouses carrying hatchets.

I've wondered what it would be like to live a life of every single species (hopefully the better lives), OR to live the life of every human being as a finite part of my infinite lifespan. I might choose to spend more than 15 minutes with/as each person, there, inevitable plastic explosion guy. Maybe it's fun to be a bug, though, dunno. Is there a 'somethingness' that it's like to be dead? Probably the same as before I was born. I was a lot of components of food, I guess.

Maybe I'd like to be eaten after I die. My name does mean eucharist.

Okay, it's late, I'm going to bed.
Living in a dream world might be semi-okay, after death.

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