Race, Racialism, Racism, and rays of shadow

Hello.

My name is Jesse.   Jesse Teshara.   Jesse Lawrence Teshara.  I was born to Annette Riddle on September 3, 1971, which makes me a virgo boar.   Hopefully I’m not boring.  I’m not a virgin. Voldemort is a Riddle, too.  But I was adopted (at the age of 4) by Peggy and Larry Teshara on x/x/1975.  My foster parents were Mr. and Mrs. Fiji.   I’ve met my birthmother.   It was a closed adoption, but Annette’s uncle (Mel Lindley) hired a detective who found me when I was a sophomore in college at UCDavis.  So I met Annette, but never my genetic father, whose picture I found online, but who died on x/x/x, at the age of x.   I learned I had a sister, too, (Annette’s daughter) who was also adopted, named Sarah Salazar.  She died in a car crash, at the age of 17.  Tragic and sad.  Annette lives in Eugene, OR.  Or she did,   I haven’t talked to her in decades.  We’ve lost touch.  She could be anywhere.  My “real” mom, Peggy, lives in San Francisco.  She’s 76+.  My dad died in August of 2020.  Margaret Delia Hennessy became Peggy Lawrence Teshara.  She doesn’t like Margaret or Delia.  I don’t know why.  August 10 is her birthday.   Her older sister is a Sister.   My aunt, Rose Marie, is a Catholic nun (Dominican, O.P.).   We’re having pastor tacos together for lunch at Los Pericos restaurant in San Leandro next week.  She’s taking BART, I think.  I’m not bringing any books with me this time.   They have a book by Cornel West (Race Matters) and also Black Liberation Theology, (by Cone).   Hm, corn and a BLT.   I’m bringing my Kindle, which has the Economist and the NYT.  Anyway, I’m bringing my computer, so I can always explore Wikipedia, too. They have internet, tv, and a lovely big yard with a hammock, and an old cat named Squirrel Bait.  The dog is a sweet pit bull named Rover.  

Race

Why is it called race? Is there a starting gun?  A finish line?  Does speed matter?  (not the drug, but that too).   Is the human race competing against other species?  Faster, pussycat!   I talk fast, I think fast, I move quickly, like Speedy Gonzalez (or his brother Slowpoke Rodriguez).   I don’t know what I’m talking about.   I mean, blacks have fast-twitch muscles, I’ve been told, which makes them a faster race than us honey-dripper honkies.  The speed of thought, like the Terminator in T-2, automatically assessing situations and the path to resolution almost instantaneously.  Computers think faster than we do, I think.  You've gotta run to stand still.  The Red Queen.   Getting nowhere fast.   Hurry up and wait.

Anyway, blacks aren’t black and whites aren’t white.  Brown and peachy?   Flesh-tones…. And life isn’t a giant chessboard of competition between good and evil.   People make moves, of course.   But caucasians and africans aren’t in some zero-sum game of rivalry, competition, and mutually-exclusive rewards.   I don’t even think race exists, when you get right down to it.  People are people.  The Pope is white, and african-americans are black?   That’s garbage, in my view.  As if Catholics were virtuous and African americans evil.  All in all is all we are, sang Nirvana.  Right?  Is God a white man and the devil black?  Or is one race superior to another?  ‘It’s obvious’ by the Au Pairs sing “Equal but different.”   Is snow better than night?  Is the white of my eye prettier than the black pupil?  Is vanilla better than chocolate?  Ivory sounds better than ebony?  Is Paradise filled with white people and hell full of blacks?    What a load of shit.  

There’s history.   No denying imperialism and slavery.  And the racism of sexual selection, choosing partners of the same race, exclusionary like high school cliques or black churches.   I have a problem with white power and black power, alike.  But I don’t know shit.  Maybe they’re necessary.  Identity can be delusional (says the man who claims to be God) but still salient, relevant, important, and subservient.  Ha!

Skin color.  Blacks are better adapted to sunlight?  Less skin cancer.  Whites have that skin because evolution selected it for adaptation to … I have no fucking clue.   But it must be something.  Separate evolution by geographically divided populations.  Google says, “As people moved to areas farther from the equator with lower UV levels, natural selection favored lighter skin which allowed UV rays to penetrate and produce essential vitamin D. The darker skin of peoples who lived closer to the equator was important in preventing folate deficiency.”Vitamin D and folate.   That’s what it boils down to, lol.   Geezus Christ.  Racism is retarded.

If we were really black and white, maybe our babies would be gray.   They call some aliens “greys”.  People like me who think race is basically irrelevant are considered to be like space aliens, I guess.   Far from the norm.  Freaks, weirdos, nutcases.  But the time has come.  Down with racialism!  Or racism.   Is there a difference?  Lips and hair and noses and muscle-twitch and god-knows what else.  There are some differences, but who gives a fuck?  Black is beautiful, and so are fat people, and midgets, and what-have-you.  Culture could easily flip the standards of beauty.  Or you could flip the switch in your brain, as an individual.  Because we’re all basically the same.   You’re unique, just like everybody else, lol.  I actually kind of think everyone is ugly.   I’ve got a problem.   I know this.  Argh.  Does that mean I’m full of shit?