God resume

CV

 The circus clown became an acrobat then juggled and started telling jokes.  Then he fought in hand to hand combat, besting the bearded lady.  Then he performed surgery on a cancer patient, then a dog, and finally himself.   Then he did magic tricks.  Then, miracles.  Then, he earned a billion dollars.   Then he read the library, some books fast, others slow.  Then he became a university professor, and taught limnology.  The he cooked a delicious meal for his whole family, regaling them with stories that resembled the magical realism of Gabo.  Then he was a guru, and started a religion.  Then he started a family, and fathered two dozen children.  Then he wrote a book, and got published, and won some prizes.  Then he brushed, flossed, and rinsed, twice a day.  Then he became a bodybuilder, and won Mr. Universe.  Then he wrote a blog that went viral, and acted in films, and played guitar in a band.  Then he directed a movie, and became a congressman.  Then he made everything right with the world.  Then he was a professional athlete.  Then he memorized the OED.   Then he became a poet.  Then he was president of the United States, and brought peace and harmony to the nations of the world.  He eliminated poverty.   Then he was a Navy Seal.  Then he took heroin.  Then he fell in love, and traveled the world, eating at many, many restaurants.  Then he became Pope.  Then he invented a few hundred magical devices of technological wizardry.  Then he was an astronaut.  Then he solved all the world’s problems.  Then he got a phd in physics, and blew up the universe.  The end.  

another take, a list of superpowers:    Can fly, with super strength, speed, combat prowess, invulnerability, regeneration, teleportation, genius, access to omniscience, x-ray vision, morphing, can stop/slow time, athleticism, healing ability (for self, others), immortality, non-aging, speed-reading, time travel, can live in space (no need to eat, drink, breathe, piss, shit).  Omnipotence:  Can do/undo anything!  Speaks all languages, reads and remembers all books, telepathic voices and visions, and, of course, a billionaire.  A math prodigy, and legal eagle, and spiritually realized adept, and fearless fighter for truth, justice, and the american way!  Virtuous, righteous, moral, good, kind.