Space Aliens!!

freaky, man

So I was walking down the street in Berkeley, with my earbuds in, listening to kalx, the campus radio station, when pow!, a portal opens up right in front of me, and this weird looking alien steps out, from his (her?) dimension into ours, and starts moving its mouth speaking some gibberish (i removed my headphones) that I’m pretty sure isn’t any human language, because it sounded like a mushy slobber.  I said how do you do?  And it replied I am doing well, thank you, and yourself?  

I looked around, and flagged down a cop car, and the police stopped and said, it’s a little early for halloween, isn’t it?  I said, no! This is a real alien!  I think it speaks English!  It just stepped out of a dimensional portal, and must be here for some reason… Maybe you can talk to it, try it!  I hope there aren’t millions of them, coming to take over and enslave the earth!  I don’t see any black helicopters, but this sure is freaky!  The cop said, what’s that smell?  Have you been cooking meth?  No, maybe that’s what aliens smell like, officer.   Then the cops put the alien in their cop car, and I wondered if that’s what the alien wanted all along, and was using their mind control powers or something.  I put my headphones back in, and went on my way, heading toward the library.

I was happy teleportation was a real thing, and that maybe cars were obsolete, so now everybody would teleport, instead of polluting the air so much.  Also, Saudi Arabia’s oil riches might dry up, and they won’t be able to murder dissenting journalists with impunity anymore, like they did with k’should-g, or whatever his name is.  But then I thought, teleportation could bring murderers inside people’s homes, and they could escape by teleportation to get away, so a whole new era of lawlessness and crime could suddenly appear - oh, no!  

But then, I thought, we don’t need space ships!  We could teleport anywhere in the universe!  Maybe there are other dimensions, entire worlds to explore, either far away, or occupying the same space we’re already in, if that makes sense.  Wow, I wish I knew physics.  I DO know it’s a weird, weird world.  Maybe there already is an interdimensional police force, and there are all kinds of different aliens, different species from different planets, who have already gone through the troubles and difficulty that this amazing technology brings with it.  God only knows.  God help us.  Germs from Xeron-6… could be like Hernan Cortes wiping out the Mexicans.. Well, everybody dies, right?  Maybe the aliens don’t.  Huh.  Here I am, at the library.  I’ll read the NY Times, check out a book, maybe a movie, and hope I don’t run into that ugly alien on the way home, again.  

So it goes.  La la la la.