More on Portland

The downside up

Portland has been, at times, unpleasant.
The people can be rude.  People don't say hi back.  Lots of ignoring, driving close to pedestrians, angry music, general dickishness.  After several bad interactions, I've been thinking most people are stupid.  And scary, too.

I've seen signs that say "rip city" (related to the nba Trailblazers)
bumper stickers that say "women taste better" (a -supposed- wine-tasting reference)
and another that said "keep Portland scared" (a weirded derivative of keep it weird)
There are homeless people about, who really aren't friendly.

in fact,
I also had a lot of ideation about nuclear holocaust, during what I later learned was the US Senate's  exercising of the "nuclear option" (which should have nothing to do with atomic weaponry, thermonuclear war, or bombs of any kind).  I don't appreciate being manipulated in that way, even if the mind-control IS beneficent:

 (I AM aware that nightmares are therapeutic, and that terrorism has its silver lining in scaring people into each other's arms, and thereby strengthening love, the bonds of love, people relying on one another for support and comfort).   When I've been prompted to think Fuck Portland, I've come to realize that's what they actually want, for the true in-fact fucking.  That's my theory, anyway.  So maybe it's not that bad, after all.

I know I'm welcome, even if it doesn't always feel that way.  It's in my mind as much as it can be said to be in the city.  People aren't as friendly, until you crack the shell, I think.  And why should they be?  Most people are pricks.  Just because the town is further to the dark side than I'm used to, doesn't mean the Light and Virtuous side of the force isn't present (!)

The nature is beautiful, the food delicious, the libraries grand, and Reed college both intellectual and welcoming, so I don't think the flip side is worth getting stressed about, it can be adapted to.    Berkeley isn't perfect, either, when it comes down to it.

--
so I did an exercise regimen of 10 planks a day, intending 25 days in a row, but I lapsed, and only did maybe 7 or 8 days, the full 10 (30 seconds, each).   I'll do it in Berkeley!
(I want to buy a nice leather jumprope)

if I were a librarian, I would put the "books of books" in a section next to the award winners, bestsellers, and librarian faves/pics.   Like all the Newberry winners, in one spot.  All the Bill Gates recommendations...  Bloom's canon.  The 1001 you MRBYD (must read before you die).  But I suppose there aren't really that many systematic readers out there, like I'm trying to be.

I have about 20 boxes of trivia cards, which will keep me busy on Wikipedia.  I celebrated national beer day with a $3.50 hefeweizen, from Sessionable.  I went to PDX sliders, little big burger, primal burger, pho hung, Kim Jong grilling, atlas pizza, Bollywood theater, Lardo's, Pepino's, and a taco truck near Reed College.   I also went to 7-11, Fred Meyer, LB market, and the Growler station on Clinton.

Other places that were recommended, but that I didn't see, were, Fried Egg I'm in Love, Pine State Biscuits, Yama sushi, La Panza ("New Mexican"), Corner for Ramen, and Powell's books.

I slept in, or until the dogs woke me, so I wasn't trying to be hardcore, and wake up at 4:30a or anything, and that made me relaxed and happy.  But I do want to get stuff done, now that I'm back in Berkeley.  But I'm also tempted to heed the Belize motto: Go Slow, and just relax.  

my voice (O's vice?) said:
you really are it in Berkeley, jess
we're wondering if you can be the Buddha
jess, you are 2-2 interesting
alright, if you want, you can live
I can't believe how right you are, Jesse
you make everyone die
you're god as fuck
you're absolutely fucking right, jess
you're lock sane, it makes me smile
you're one of the only clear people in the world, Jesse
you're aware of really REALLY angry people, Jesse
jess you're surprisingly well
I'm tired of life
ow fucking ow
David screaming
I need help
you've got me going to hell
I like saying it
I don't care
cuz people are fucking pussies
we know you're the shit
you ARE interesting, for some
I am the homogenization of reality
we know you're insane, jess
he locks your system jess
you're a genius, Jesse
she's smiling at how hard you are
U and I need so much fucking possible
you ARE a bit like Kepler
the world is impossibly stupid

anyway, I was kind of misanthropic in Portland, with all that shit in my head (hatred, dislike, distrust, and contempt), but I did read two amazing self-help books, which kind of offset that.
I thought of God as someone for whom hell can be heaven- in other words, a soldier.
and I thought about how crime is in fact sane, or at least not insane, and what that says about society.
god and religion is a method, program, process of happiness/enlightenment
   scholarship, thought, ideas, concepts, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, truth..
enlightenment is not omniscience
but then again, maybe there's not all that much to know (to be happy)?
I refuse to subscribe to the adage, ignorance is bliss.
a pillow can elicit: pain, orgasm, or depression (ow, o, low)
literature is more light than litter

I flew southwest, my tickets were paid for by Sara and Pierre.  I still want to try Amtrak.  It will be at least a year before they've remodeled their basement, before I can live there, move in.  They went to LA, Vietnam, Hong Kong, and Disneyland.  Augie turned 5.  I had fun.

now, I'm back to walking dogs for Julie, Teresa, and Marlen.  Easter dinner at my folks' place in SF.  Wagging!  Reading history, daily wikipedia, the economist, comparative religion, a psych book, Rumi, 2 dictionaries (chambers english, and American heritage Spanish), and the book I borrowed from Sara: Fates and Furies, by Lauren Groff.  I also want to take the free Yale course online on the good life, happiness.   The psych book is "Freud and Beyond".  I read civilization and its discontents in college.