Dogman

$9.50

Just saw it.

Italian, brutal, beautiful, another world, real, dark, and sad.  Cocaine, house robbery, pawn shop, beatings, gunshots, sex club, dog show.  And the anxiety of going underwater (scuba), especially with your young daughter.  Family breakup, reputation, plotting, stupidity, blows with tire iron, cunning, money. and fuck it, I needed to do it, I did it.   No regret.  Justice.  Death.  Take what’s coming.  Loyalty, revenge, decay, restaurant familiarity, motorcycle, mother’s angst, prison in Italy.  And dogs.  Big dogs.  Scary dog.  Chihuahuas.  Poodles.  Regular dogs.  Almost frozen.  Companions.  The Red Sea, busted lip, stitches, ugly bloody face, pain, necessity, big picture.   Seedy lowlife, drug addicts, criminals, poverty, threat, between a rock and a hard place, dilemma, poor choice in friends, disrespect, strength and size and force, the law

Drugs. Just say no.  Crime.  Don’t do it.  Stay strong.  Learn self-defense. Love and risk, dogs and motherhood, quiet ruins, and ....
maybe god will let you (get away with it)

drugs, dogs.

---
and now for something completely different:
coffee and tea, cat
call and response, car
mork and ork, mao (bork eats pork)
dig, dag, doug.
psycho, michael
stay tuned, satan
spirit, conspiracy
Britney Spears and Jackie Speier, inspiration
second second, minute minute, power hour
heyday, k day, mayday, payday, weigh day
gay day, queer year, spear rear
weak week, money month, beer year
tears for fears, cheers
hear here, jeer your peers, dear deer, mere lear
gunther's month
the Israel lights, spark the ark
urkel twerking in berkeley
barking in Berkeley irks the dark shark

Not God

Maybe I’m not.

If I ever get beyond the word, concept, role, or identity of God- and attain actual Godlike status (like having the One Ring?!). Here’s what I would do with having unlimited power to change the universe (!!):

No suffering.  No war.  Ability to turn off pain.  Healing and recovery.

Universal access to the world’s entire library.   Books, music, tv/movies/video, courses.

Happiness and contentment.   Delicious food, of all kinds, available to everybody.

Equality.  Respect.  Love.  Freedom.  Harmony.  Kindness.  Sharing.

Teleportation.   Time-travel.   Virtual worlds to explore.

Fitness and sports and health and wellness and sanity.

Immortality, non-aging, option.   Bliss.   Challenge and Mission.

Purpose, meaning, growth, structure, goals, dreams, aspirations, achievement, mastery.

Satisfaction, wealth, joy, fun, humor, naps and rest and sleep, diversity

talents, skills, abilities, specialization, genius

pleasure, intimacy, touch, massage, sex, ecstasy.

ecology, ecosystems, biomes, plants and animals, wildlife, nature, forests

religions, languages, countries, legal systems, corporations, teams, tribes, cliques

schools, colleges, universities, education, training, practice

societies, cultures, economies, polities, cults

Enmeshed and linked and bridged and interconnected

Drugs and culture shock and different planets and lots to do, think, say, be, learn

Relaxation and leisure and going slow

Safety and security and peace and tolerance

Enough time for everybody to do and be everything.  Enlightenment.

I suspect all this exists already, :-)

Well, maybe not immortality.  

Mortality just makes life more valuable and precious and sanctified.

We all share the same fate, we’re all impermanent, 

So we should help each other enjoy the limited life we all share.

What is the best life possible?  God’s?

All in all is all we are, and we’ve all heard it all before?

Nobody is omniscient, keep an open mind, and stay curious!

PCH

if I win, tomorrow
Publisher's Clearing House

I'm leaving my home around 8:30a (Bart, with bike)
to volunteer in the garden at Mission San Jose, in Fremont
and help Sister Barbara, before lunch

If I win (6 things):

buy some stuff
invest
travel
contribute to some causes and charities
repay social security
fund micro-loans

---
I want an e-bike, gym membership, martial arts lessons,
subscriptions to economist/ny times/cs monitor/ foreign affairs,
     people/mad magazine/utne reader/la jornada
unlimited data on my phone, my own wifi connection

invest in things like non-plastic water containers (bottle replacements)
maybe German recycling (a place for everything and eiip)

Japan and Europe

doctors without borders, amnesty international, Red Cross,
Berkeley free clinic, democrats for life, prison literature project

kiva (micro loans)

I want a Porsche or Tesla, but I'd be fine just using uber and Lyft
Maybe publish (some of) this blog

Characteristics, Attributes, Names, Traits

CANT:  Can not?

"there ain't no devil, just God when he's drunk" -Tom Waits

Link to Islamic 99 names of God

Link to 28 Christian attributes of God

Link to 26 strengths within 6 virtues: Character Strengths and Virtues (positive psychology)

Anything good is God, by definition

a few more acronyms:
God of damnation/devastation?
go on date
go on, do it
get old, die

everything that has ever happened has been done for a good reason
has a rationale, reasoning behind it,
   even crime and war and torture and killing
we're all living in God's dream (?!)
maybe we're all in God's head (virtually? literally?)
hopefully God isn't mentally ill
insanity isn't a psychiatric term, it's a legal term
hopefully God isn't legally insane, either
God is everything? I am?

The Islamic names, ones you might not expect:
Giver of Dishonor, Giver of Disgrace (25)
(61) The Bringer of Death
(81) The Avenger
(91) The Destroyer, The Harmer, The Afflictor

!

My Ideal Day

My day, by Jesse Teshara

Wake up rested, early.   Maybe no alarm.  Or I set Alexa to wake me up to a specific song (which I don’t think it can do….yet)

Take vitamins, eat a bowl of oatmeal, 2 scoops of gnc protein powder.

Alexa flash briefing, whrb jazz in the morning.

10 thirty-second planks, spaced throughout the day.  Pushups.

     Music and exercise, throughout the day.  Train.

Read the day’s history (5 sources)

   on wikipedia, brittanica, grim reaper book, today in history book, and farlex

Go to gym, exercise bike for 500 calories, watching Ridiculousness on mtv.

Or Swim and hot tub.   Or lift weights.

    Daily shower

Read a book/day.  News, also.  (Newbery kid books are an easier way to do this)

   (ideally, economist magazine, new york times, cs monitor)

Clear my email.  Read a poem every day.  Learn a vocabulary word every day.

Make some money, walk dogs.  

Learn some masd (martial arts, self defense) from youtube.

Make a new friend, every day.  Give out my card.  Speak Spanish.

Go to fun places: Burma superstar, GTU, museum, religious service, nature (tilden?), movie

Fun websites: ted, onion, arts and letters, yahoo news, standup comedy…

Maybe write a blog post, or just check the page view count at the end of the day.

Relax. Nap.  Meditate.  Watch tv, veg.  Baseball game.  

Love and sex!

Go to bed early, around 9 or 10p maybe, tired.  Take meds, at night.  Ideally, no meds necessary.  Sane, healthy, well.  Fall asleep quickly.

Bucket list: travel, black belt, finish J! Archive/trivia cards, publish book

Basic Divinity

about everything and every thing

God

3 letters, one word, everything.   

God is good.  Like the devil is evil.   God is good without an O.  The devil is evil with a D.

(O for offense or orgasm, for example) (D as a smile).  Or, alternatively, God as Go, D.   (Go, Devil!  Or Go, David).   Go can mean like go, team, win.   Or, go, get out, leave me alone. David, the king of the jews, from the Bible, the old testament, the pentateuch, the tanakh.  

      Or, a guy I know, an intelligent queer mathematician attorney “natural psychologist” who I met in Davis, David Andrew Eldridge, who went to Reed College, in Portland, OR) Who I believe is still a deputy attorney general for the state of California.  Jesse was the father of David in the bible.   Jesus, u jess.  Dag ridded evil, an anagram of his name, (dag is short for deputy attorney general). 

anyway,

God is g (the 7th letter), o (the 15th), and d (the 4th).  The sum? 26.   There are 26 letters in the English alphabet.   God is said to be infinite.  8 sideways is the symbol for infinity.  The letters (26) sum to 8 (2+6).   God is great.  Gr-eat.  gr, Grim reaper.   God eats the grim reaper. Death. D eat H.  Devil 8 God.   Meat, m eat.  M, McDonald’s.  Maybe god eats carnivores.  Animals presumably don’t want to be eaten, and lead lives of suffering at the hands of butchers and the meat industry.

   Then again, meat is delicious.  Steaks are homonyms for stakes, the bane of vampires. Is meat bad for your heart?  Heart is an anagram (can be re-arranged as) of hater.  The heart pumps blood.   It’s bloodthirsty, you might say.  death: Devil ate God? Maybe god eats vegetarians.  Time devours all.   Time, that is me.  Thyme to eat.  H8 is hate.  HH is his holiness.  Crazy 88’s were in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill.  Hatred is a red hat.  Krav Maga is an Israeli martial art.  Make America great again is a republican slogan.   Democrats are blue, Republicans red.  There’s a red hat (ladies) society.

God is infinite.  Infinite love, in infinite time, and infinite space.   Spacetime.  God is love.  Love is part of evol-ution.  Almost evil, backwards.  Crazies, back in psych wards.  God is dog, backwards.  Man’s best friend.  Walk your dog, don’t wok your dog.  (cat is part of catholic, catechism), ‘catholic’ means universal.   U is short for universe, university, you, and looks like a smile.  (you are your own “you-niverse”) (everyone is in their own world, a world unto themselves) (this is how I interpret the term “multiverse”: many individuals, bodies, minds, many psyches).  Devil is lived, backwards.  Trying to get back in the pussy, you could say.   Cats are witches familiars.  Black cats are an omen of bad luck, if they cross your path.   Cross, Jesus was on one, and presumably cross while on the cross, and crossed over..  From the land of the living to hell, the place of the dead (where we are all going).   (mythologized as crossing the river Styx? Charon?). Cat got your tongue? Lengua burrito.   Global underground, cool electronic music for all you ravers on ecstasy.  We are all “under” the ground, because the earth is a globe, a sphere, and there is life underground. (to quote Oingo Boingo) (Notes from the Underground, by Feodor Dostoevsky).

God is one.  Neo, anagram  (the movie The Matrix featured Neo as well as God). Morpheus is the name of the God of dreams.  Movies move E’s (emotions).  One of my favorite songs is from the matrix soundtrack: ‘Clubbed to death’ (kuryamino remix), by Rob Dougan.  God, Neo, and Morpheus are a Trinity, lol.   Trinity was the name of an American nuclear bomb test.  The 3 matrix movies did not bomb.  Neither did Barack O -bomb- uh.   The terms Red pill and blue pill has entered the zeitgeist? Collective consciousness.   Collective unconscious? (-Jung’s term).  When I was a boy, I used to watch red teams vs. blue teams on tv with my father.   Speaking of god as one, Money is an anagram of MY ONE.  1’s and 0’s, the basis of binary and computers, can be phallic and vaginal (holy).   And cash has the all-seeing eyes (the holy see? The eye of Sauron?) on it.  Holy wholly Ho-Lee lord (life or death)(light or darkness)(love or despair)!!   Green is gr in the evening, the color of vampires.  True colors are red and black, that’s what we are inside.  (sith?)

God is reality, truth, love-bliss.   The universe.  One verse.  (which book? any?). Every book is the bible.  If God is infinite, he wrote everything.  It’s all god, it’s all good.   There are infinite infinities.   Lots of gods.

God is perfect, good, benevolent, kind, loving, compassionate, wise, hears and answers prayer, makes miracles, is the source of all goodness.   Creator? Yes, your parents had sex (made love).  That is of course the source of all goodness.  Who makes miracle whip?  Any schizophrenic hears what might be called prayer, the thoughts of someone else (telepathy).  If God hears you, it’s prayer, but if you hear god, it’s schizophrenia.  If you’re schizo, you have to be God to be well.  Nuts! (gonads, testes, balls!). You have to have balls to be nuts.   No we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy -Seal.  Cray-z, a sleeping computer.   Drawing Zorro with a crayon.  Insane, in the seine.  Mad is a magazine, and angry, not just psychotic or legally insane.   Perfection is a spray starch.  Joy is a dish soap.  Cheer a detergent.  Harmony snacks.   Hell a village in Norway.  Paradise a town in California.  Hope, Arkansas.  A god’s eye is a craft project.   Maybe there is or was a creator of the universe.  I don’t think that’s anything that can ever be ascertained or known.  But we can make our own universes, as either making our own lives, or making children.

God

a summary of my philosophy

Many people profess to believe in God.  

Some believe in gods, plural.   There are thousands of Hindu gods, for example.

The 3 main ones are Brahma, Vishnu, and Siva (creator, preserver, destroyer, respectively).

Gods re-incarnate as avatars, so the same ones have many names.

Catholics believe in one god, the Trinity.   It’s kind of confusing.

   (The three persons of the trinity are the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit).  

Jesus said do not call me good, only God is good.

The bible says God is love, a man of war, one, and good.

Sun Tzu in the Art of War said war is the art of deception.

A cult leader who I researched (that I lived near) said “Reality is all the God there ever is.”  

I’ve also come across the definition of God as “the source of all goodness.”

The King of heaven.   An energy.  Love-bliss.  A word.  A concept.  A role.  A status.

Yahweh, Jesus, Allah, Zeus, Ra, Brahma, Krishna, Adi Da, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster

all claim to be God.   Waheguru (Sikh) and Ahura Mazda (Zoroastrian) are yet more. 

Some Buddhists worship different Buddhas as Gods, although most Buddhists see the founder as just an enlightened teacher of a philosophy relevant only to our impermanent lives, not a creator or ruler of the universe.   The Lemon.  L Ron Hubbard.  Joe Pesci.  Jah. 

One god, the father, the almighty, creator of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.

Gods don’t die, they’re immortal.  

God wants us to be happy.  He hears our prayers.  He answers them, sometimes with miracles.   

He is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, entirely good (benevolent).

In other words, He can do anything, knows everything, is everywhere, and is infinite love.

YHWH is his name, some say.  Jehovah or Jah, by others.

I don’t think he cares.  You can call him anything.   Poseidon, or Mr. Big, or Loki or whatever.

Well, it’s something to think about.  I certainly have.

So much so, that even though I don’t believe he exists, I believe the concept can still have meaning, and be helpful.   And because I think I’m right, I’m calling myself God, as a source of truth, even though I’m certainly not claiming to be infinite, the universe, immortal, or even all that powerful.   God is still a good concept, making lives good.   And the truth is one of the highest goods.  God’s name is I AM, lol.  Love exists.  It’s good to believe the universe wants you to be happy.   It’s nice to think you might be rewarded for obeying God: “Be Good.”  A virtual reality might not objectively exist, but if it’s in your head and operative, that’s good enough!  And maybe you can be God, too, embodied in general happiness, love-bliss, and contentment.   You can make yourself and others happy.  Your philosophy can include all religions.  The human condition is universal, and we are all much more the same than we are different.  We only live once, let’s be friends.   Let’s learn ALL of our religions, be syncretists, and be members of as many cults as we can in our short lifetimes.   Seize the day!  I believe in oblivion, not a heavenly afterlife.   We can make our lives heavenly, the world heavenly, for ourselves and our children, a paradise and kingdom of god that exists for all, on earth, while alive.  Death can be happy, having lived a good life, and lived well, fully.   Life is but a dream, and who knows what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil…  Morpheus is the God of dreams.   So maybe God can dream up a bit of afterlife.   I can’t see how that could ever be permanent, though.    Reality has always been and will always be.   Enjoy your Ality, again!

Try to enjoy your lack of privacy.   We share our mind(s).  God hears your prayers, is another way of saying your thoughts are public, which I realize might seem crazy, but I'm schizophrenic, telepathic, in the matrix, the social construct, like everybody else.   

Cheers,

Jess

GOD acronyms

collect them all!

good old days
grand old duke
good orderly direction
god or devil
godling or demon
German or Deutsch
good or depraved
go out dining, drinking, dancing
get out doors
gigantic or diminutive
gigantic orgasmic dick
glad or depressed
glee or despair
gay or down
grief or delight
grave or delighted
giddy or dismal
gratified or discontent
gruntled or dissatisfied
gratitude or dismay
glowing or dark
gorgeous or disfigured
genius or dumb
Gary Oldman's Dracula
game of defense
glory of defeat
god of dungeons
genial or dour
generous openhearted demeanor
gluttonous oreo devouring
glove over digits
grandfather or dad
god or deity
god or demiurge
godly or divine
generally over disease
get on down
geriatric old dude
governor of delaware
graduate of davis
gay on drugs
get out of debt
greed to own dollars
game of dominoes
game of death

disease, destruction, defeat, death, decay, dirt, dust
d is the end of end!
omg, omega

oblivion has I liv on in it

Plus,
gnomes on dope
garden of delight
guide of destiny
guide our dreams
guard on duty
guardian of darkness
generation of degenerates
grand order of design
great omnipotent designer
giver of deliverance
goal objective destination
glory or death
group operations director
gold oil diamonds
global orbital defense

grandeur of delusion
guns ovens depravity
generals, ordnance, decimation
grenade obituary doom
genocide oblivion death
glue opium downers
gin, overdose on drugs
give over daughter

Gladys Olivia Dowling
Gerald Oliver Davies

glossographic orismological dictionary!

germs ordure disease
gradient of descent
give out dinero
godly ordained deacon
go on/get off drugs
gorgeous or dapper
glorifying orison to deus
grumpy ornery displeasure
get out, devil
gives on demand
grand-pooh-bah oblation druid
general's orders, drill sergeant
gustatory/olfactory disgust
gross offensive disgusting
guitar oboe drums
girl on dick
god, only, decides
glory or defeat
gratefully operatic dead
gone/over/dead

cheese, please

fung shway says my cheese good
(feng shui)

maybe I only have one,
you are what you eat:

God eats gouda
Monsters eat muenster
  (what about the minister?)

k, so? -from Mage
no way...  whey!
hard cheeses, cream cheese

god's chi's in the bries?
cheese breeze
who cut it?

Ed says eat me.  He breaks the mold.   Ed am.
Hi, Odom (Buffy).
Jack, ewe are bleu?
   Make some cheddar $$ :-)

Informed Citizenship

A mad protocol

I thought maybe I could read about the 2020 presidential democratic candidates and pick someone, as a project, today.  But then I realized...

there are 18 main candidates, and 227 total have filed, so far.
    issues should be the reason for selection, not anything else, right?
SO, read all of procon.org, and figure out where you stand!
    But, this is a massive project.
Being an informed citizen is a full-time job, itself.

Plus, you should read the news, and not just one news source, either.
And maybe I should reconsider which camp I identify with.
I think I'm an independent moderate, but maybe I should take one of those quizzes that tell you, like I last did in college.

   in other words, judging by appearance, youth, sex, race should be the smallest, if any, factors in your selection (in my opinion).   Otherwise, I'd just pick Beto and Gabbard, the beautiful people!
(although, maybe happy people are better than grumps like Trump or Bernie?)

So,
NEWS
I want to read the Economist, Christian Science Monitor, New York Times
in addition to wikipedia news, the onion, yahoo, and facebook
(and the occasional perusal, at libraries, of things like
     Mad magazine, People, the Utne reader, Bloomberg)
Foreign Affairs, also, I think.

ISSUES
procon.org

CANDIDATES
wikipedia

come election time, I'm in the habit of relying heavily on the Green Party voter's guide.
Because, making the right choices with integrity
requires discipline, dedication, the ability to speed-read, and -honestly-
knowing who to trust to serve as a proxy for help in making the wisest choice.

Furthermore, which candidates will make you happiest?
Maybe idiots that make you feel smart, or who you can laugh at on late night tv?
Or, maybe, smart people you can feel comfortable with delegating judgment to.
Maybe the happiest the entire country is, will effect your own personal happiness...
   in which case, you might not even know your own best interests!

Personally,
I think global development and the world economy and international peace trump national considerations, and we should try and see the big picture (such as how would a pope vote, or does voting even matter, in the first place?!). How would the devil vote?  Is history a dialectic, and should you therefore vote for the worst, in the hope of eventual shambala!?

"in the end, it doesn't even matter" -Linkin Park
"Be Good" -God

Beto, Bernie, Buttigieg, Booker (Biden?)
Gabbard, Gillibrand, Gravel
Julian and John and Jay (Castro, Delaney, Inslee)
Harris and Hickenlooper
Wayne, Williamson
Amy and Andrew (Klobuchar and Yang) AK! Ay!
Eric and Tim, ha
I'm told Elizabeth Warren has the best policy-ideas :-)

current reading queue

wordplay

word, dawg

inbred in bed
aversion to perversion
pissed on is the opposite of pissed off!??
pee ain't paint
inhale and impale
reality brutality
germinate and terminate
T Rex flexing muscles in Brussels
cat in the hat, bug in the rug
urinate, you're in 8
europe, you're up
doing math in the bath
lather bothers bather, oh brother
aftermath of wrath
pottery lottery
Seth has meth breath, Beth's death
rhyming needs timing, if you're rap isn't crap
buggery, thuggery, and skulduggery
Harry Potter only drinks water
a need for mead
alcohallway
God is a good deed
the devil ain't a saint, but malice makes justice, so bitter gets better
put butter in the batter
spit some spite, alright?
vicious, malicious, surreptitious, delicious
revenge at stonehenge
sex wrecked Alexa's deck
laugh at a gaffe, are you daft?
half a giraffe
I said Ned and Ted wed and bred
I need my med or I'll be dead on a red bed
red head with bed head
ted bled dead
rhymed in his prime
bigger n has a dagger
bugger the bagger
staggering fag, but not my bag
books for crooks
literacy for racy litter
wordplay all day
choose and pick music
jog with your dog
only a dick would put a brick through my Buick
clean and mean
James dean on the scene
silver screen teen queen
a doll against the wall
call things things
the doll is appalled
kids in the hall tear down the wall
look around for my bound book
took by a crook, I'm shook
spooks and kooks, sanity and vanity
insane and inane
stupid cupid
mad Vlad, and the bad dad
satan, santa, and stan
had lad
mad, bad, sad
tweeting twits, words from birds
dumber numbers
caw caw said crow to bro
hi ho, said the pimp
pimps with pimples and dimples
pimp pump
prostitution in the constitution

a rhyming dictionary and a well-programmed computer could do this in its sleep
enough stuff?
rough in the buff
huff and puff
cigs and cigars
peeps with pipes
drunk punks on junk

he who does the most good is god
a concept, a role, a status
the happiest, makes the most happiness
whoever sees the biggest picture, how everything inter-relates, co-arises
he who eliminates the most suffering
28 characteristics of the christian god, on wikipedia (!)
   aseity, the weird word
he who does the least evil, lol

useless bruce is not zeus
monster taunts her
sick dick, asshole hassle
wrestle with a chess role
knight is right, queen is mean
king is killing, rook is a crook

rookies eat cookies
take a look at a cook book
players with layers
hell is a warm form
burning with yearning
for the French wench
pissy pussies
fight the white
sack the black
kill the ill
heal the real
fix the chicks
improve the Louvre
better wetter

tainted paint could make you feint
saint maintenance
tugboats chug through hotter water
hotter daughter spotter
cold fish is the dish I wish
eat wheat with meat and beets
Peter needs a heater
cheats on the streets
Ashley wants to bash me
gunfire umpire vampire, damn liar
shot collar spots a dollar
get rich and ditch the bitch
pitchers and catchers and body snatchers
god has a bod
torpid corporate
a nod to modern pods in the sod
the god of cod, fishy
coffins often soften
late night great spite hate fight
hug a bug
pugs are pigs
fuhrer in the mirror
insane in the inn on the seine
a diver found rover in the river, shivering
a sliver of liver
believer fever
a fiver and I will solve your fever
a frog was a pollywog
Peggy was a piggy
captain's log: grog, eggnog, and fog
set sail for a whale of a tale
jail and bail
railing against kale
mail from Dale to Gayle
epic fail, nailed pale

okay occasion
grouchy, gauche, ganache
erica and tina from America and Argentina
virtues and flaws, chew and floss
gr-atitude, prey-er, and mean-ing
discussed disgust
grace in Greece
dwell on dwelling
unstrange strangers
good deeds, guts and determination
going out to dinner, go out dancing
ingenuity and a new engine
shortcomings, flaws, weaknesses, and deficits
impossible imposition
leap in your sleep
plosion and explosion

States of Grace

state-ments

alab-amatory, californication, idahotel, wisconsinful!
like a Virginia, in west Virg- Enya

alas-kaboom
arizona-lisa
Arkansaw and arkan-chisel (arkan-seen)
much Colorado about nothing
connecticutlass supreme
Delaware of its weaknesses
floriduh that's obvious
georjump at the opportunity
hawaii? just because
ill annoy and healthy satisfy
indianaphylactic shock, louisianalytical
iowater
kan-suspect
Kentucky you in at night
Mississippeekaboo
new hamp sure about it
new jerzebra
mexicola
new yorka whale
north Caroline up by height
North Dacoat of armor
okla home on the range
Ohio, so off to work I go
Oregun your engine
Pennsylvan- yuk
rhode I land and take-off
south carol Linus Pauling (mississi-peter)
south dak oatmeal
holy Tennessee, tennis- see you later
texas is ex- us
Utah too much
vermontagues and vercapulets
Washington of bricks
Wyoming vase

More on Portland

The downside up

Portland has been, at times, unpleasant.
The people can be rude.  People don't say hi back.  Lots of ignoring, driving close to pedestrians, angry music, general dickishness.  After several bad interactions, I've been thinking most people are stupid.  And scary, too.

I've seen signs that say "rip city" (related to the nba Trailblazers)
bumper stickers that say "women taste better" (a -supposed- wine-tasting reference)
and another that said "keep Portland scared" (a weirded derivative of keep it weird)
There are homeless people about, who really aren't friendly.

in fact,
I also had a lot of ideation about nuclear holocaust, during what I later learned was the US Senate's  exercising of the "nuclear option" (which should have nothing to do with atomic weaponry, thermonuclear war, or bombs of any kind).  I don't appreciate being manipulated in that way, even if the mind-control IS beneficent:

 (I AM aware that nightmares are therapeutic, and that terrorism has its silver lining in scaring people into each other's arms, and thereby strengthening love, the bonds of love, people relying on one another for support and comfort).   When I've been prompted to think Fuck Portland, I've come to realize that's what they actually want, for the true in-fact fucking.  That's my theory, anyway.  So maybe it's not that bad, after all.

I know I'm welcome, even if it doesn't always feel that way.  It's in my mind as much as it can be said to be in the city.  People aren't as friendly, until you crack the shell, I think.  And why should they be?  Most people are pricks.  Just because the town is further to the dark side than I'm used to, doesn't mean the Light and Virtuous side of the force isn't present (!)

The nature is beautiful, the food delicious, the libraries grand, and Reed college both intellectual and welcoming, so I don't think the flip side is worth getting stressed about, it can be adapted to.    Berkeley isn't perfect, either, when it comes down to it.

--
so I did an exercise regimen of 10 planks a day, intending 25 days in a row, but I lapsed, and only did maybe 7 or 8 days, the full 10 (30 seconds, each).   I'll do it in Berkeley!
(I want to buy a nice leather jumprope)

if I were a librarian, I would put the "books of books" in a section next to the award winners, bestsellers, and librarian faves/pics.   Like all the Newberry winners, in one spot.  All the Bill Gates recommendations...  Bloom's canon.  The 1001 you MRBYD (must read before you die).  But I suppose there aren't really that many systematic readers out there, like I'm trying to be.

I have about 20 boxes of trivia cards, which will keep me busy on Wikipedia.  I celebrated national beer day with a $3.50 hefeweizen, from Sessionable.  I went to PDX sliders, little big burger, primal burger, pho hung, Kim Jong grilling, atlas pizza, Bollywood theater, Lardo's, Pepino's, and a taco truck near Reed College.   I also went to 7-11, Fred Meyer, LB market, and the Growler station on Clinton.

Other places that were recommended, but that I didn't see, were, Fried Egg I'm in Love, Pine State Biscuits, Yama sushi, La Panza ("New Mexican"), Corner for Ramen, and Powell's books.

I slept in, or until the dogs woke me, so I wasn't trying to be hardcore, and wake up at 4:30a or anything, and that made me relaxed and happy.  But I do want to get stuff done, now that I'm back in Berkeley.  But I'm also tempted to heed the Belize motto: Go Slow, and just relax.  

my voice (O's vice?) said:
you really are it in Berkeley, jess
we're wondering if you can be the Buddha
jess, you are 2-2 interesting
alright, if you want, you can live
I can't believe how right you are, Jesse
you make everyone die
you're god as fuck
you're absolutely fucking right, jess
you're lock sane, it makes me smile
you're one of the only clear people in the world, Jesse
you're aware of really REALLY angry people, Jesse
jess you're surprisingly well
I'm tired of life
ow fucking ow
David screaming
I need help
you've got me going to hell
I like saying it
I don't care
cuz people are fucking pussies
we know you're the shit
you ARE interesting, for some
I am the homogenization of reality
we know you're insane, jess
he locks your system jess
you're a genius, Jesse
she's smiling at how hard you are
U and I need so much fucking possible
you ARE a bit like Kepler
the world is impossibly stupid

anyway, I was kind of misanthropic in Portland, with all that shit in my head (hatred, dislike, distrust, and contempt), but I did read two amazing self-help books, which kind of offset that.
I thought of God as someone for whom hell can be heaven- in other words, a soldier.
and I thought about how crime is in fact sane, or at least not insane, and what that says about society.
god and religion is a method, program, process of happiness/enlightenment
   scholarship, thought, ideas, concepts, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, truth..
enlightenment is not omniscience
but then again, maybe there's not all that much to know (to be happy)?
I refuse to subscribe to the adage, ignorance is bliss.
a pillow can elicit: pain, orgasm, or depression (ow, o, low)
literature is more light than litter

I flew southwest, my tickets were paid for by Sara and Pierre.  I still want to try Amtrak.  It will be at least a year before they've remodeled their basement, before I can live there, move in.  They went to LA, Vietnam, Hong Kong, and Disneyland.  Augie turned 5.  I had fun.

now, I'm back to walking dogs for Julie, Teresa, and Marlen.  Easter dinner at my folks' place in SF.  Wagging!  Reading history, daily wikipedia, the economist, comparative religion, a psych book, Rumi, 2 dictionaries (chambers english, and American heritage Spanish), and the book I borrowed from Sara: Fates and Furies, by Lauren Groff.  I also want to take the free Yale course online on the good life, happiness.   The psych book is "Freud and Beyond".  I read civilization and its discontents in college.

Walking the dog

Chinese for the bounty hunter
(wok for Dog!)

maybe he spells it Dawg
anyway,

barking up the wrong tree
barking mad
trees and dogs both bark
trees tease, with squirrels like girls
trees are toys, treehouses, climbing the social ladder

flowers flow
plants plan for crosses (t's)
(or TS Elliot) (E.T. phone home)
(United Nations vs. alien threat). military mind-control for peace
unity for earth, hater (alien a lie, a lien, or a lion)
I herd it thru the grapevine, in the Ivy League
gr rape, Vinny (Vincent), intravenous, leagues under the sea
Chris' chin is christian

dna is a chemical
humans (and all life) is just chemistry
a chemical process
eat minus excrete (E-E)
chem is try
(keep it legal, i.e. in court)
life is just biochemistry, compounds, things
thinking is thing king, cops are in compounds

green (gr in evening)
in islam, associated with paradise, since the 12th century
but also,
the color of dragons, monsters, devils
                    poisons, sickness
                    jealousy, envy

so, the Green Party could be both heavenly and hellish
heaven is the absence of hell, I reiterate
all right, all good, reality is all the god there ever is
hell is a state of mind (hell can be heavenly)
devil is 4-evil
4 is evil as a superstition in East Asia (it's called "tetraphobia")
evil is subjective, whatever you don't like, personal
or, whatever is illegal/criminal/unlawful (immoral, unethical)
meat, for example (eggs ample!)
God is gr-eat!
meat, yum.  (mmm, eat)
you are what you eat (and you don't want to be a vegetable, right?)
smart smarts (hurts)
bots- robots and botany (robotany!!)
   how does one differentiate between bracts and petals?
there are botany apps (I imagine them like the Terminator movie)
heaven can be hellish, like Paradise CA on fire, or Heaven Ohio
paradise a pair of dice (gambler's hell, after losing everything)
everything perfect?  where's the fun in that?
perfection redefined: reality! (earthly) (e.g. in love)
physics, positive and negative attract (how do bicycles work?)
    why does a spinning wheel generate a force?
rotten (satan rotting, rot 10), rotation
revolution (every year)
   row, row, row your boat (life is but a dream)
   a dreamy butt (beauty is the promise of happiness?)
      gay beauty (in the eye of the bee-holder) sting! ouch!

stream of consciousness, flow state, mindstream, thoughts like a river (thawing snow),
breaking the ice, hot thought, from frozen / crystallized neurons?
  (Neuromancer reference, book by Gibson)
concepts, sepsis for/from convicts, infection perfection
words like bird turds, dropping right as rain, matrix imagery
field day, a day for each scientific field, branches of science
Braintree, sentence structure, graphing sentences
lines of code, programming
   tv, movies, computers, memes, neurolinguistic
pro gr am (that's the spirit! -blade runner)
"programmed to receive" -hotel California, the eagles
Billy Graham, graham crackers, grams of angry weight
angry sex, mad (magazine, anger/insanity)
mci (mad crazy insane)
mad: mom and dad, misery and despair, medicine and doctors
madness- a band (mirror in the bathroom? "trip gently into mental illness")
if God is good, and God is everything, then evil is good, which is crazy
religion is insanity, God is insane, God is the devil
which is just an optimistic point of view (rose-colored glasses, of lovers)
all right?  karma and justice, a rational universe, a divine order
(vs. randomness, life is unfair and unjust, the universe is indifferent)
change (anger without r)(see hang e; I've met a David Hangie)
chain J (keep us together)
coin of the realm, real M, (e.g. McDonald's restaurant)
    (real man, vs. an android, or fembot)

science
sigh, ints (a bus emits an exasperated sigh, personified sound)
   intel (intelligence, spy craft, humint, data, sigint)
   a truth filter on the entire internet, plus human brains
      sifting through alternative facts, interpretations, news sources
knowledge, knowing the ledge (abnormal psych, depression)
      knowing, biblically (bi-b locally?)
      knowles (Beyonce)
      goal: omniscience (totality of present)
describe, predict, and explain (various paths of alternative futures)
God as guide to optimal future, (force against freedom??)