More "Voices"

telepathy
(because I really don't think I'm talking to myself)
again, stfu david - i want to be well.
i just learned what "trolling" is
(but it's been happening to me since forever)
also, it's just fishing for a response-
(even if the response is no response)
if not outright mind control.
(resentment is hypnotic, i've heard)
do i really want a quiet mind?
(except for my OWN thoughts)
because it's called a SOUND mind
(i really don't want to obey
the biblical injunction to pray "without ceasing")
and
i don't want to wear headphones 24-7, either
    sometimes i ignore him (david)
    sometimes i tell him to leave me alone
    sometimes i reply
and sometimes I write down what he's telepathically thought
(it's a hive/shared mind: the borg are schizophrenic!)
"beamed" (lol) into my skull (for whatever reason):
i imagine he's consulting me, as a global telepath, or
input, as something, something else.
(i don't know if i'm a global telepath or not, honestly)
i bet i am some kind of mutant, with an x-man power, though.
(although, maybe I'm a boring ordinary person, playing a role,
just a piece in a puzzle)(i've got this god thing going)
(am i a "work of art", "a piece of work", a "headcase")
it's basically just noise.  (shared mind? entanglement?)
meditators try to get their head ("monkey mind") to shut up.
i'm not sure there's any difference, other than
I perceive it to be from an external source
(it can be positive, negative, or neutral)

VOICES
(it's really only 1 voice,
david andrew eldridge, deputy attorney general for the state of california)
    mathematician, queer, attorney, psycho, "natural psychologist"
(in his own words; i used to live in his house; he's an actual person)
(although it IS like a dream, it's not, it's communication; not an "invisible friend")
(and remember: there is a context, that is lost)
(i don't think i'm hearing it from outside my head;
aka, i don't think other people hear it, too
(although maybe some do!)
i think of it like what the speedreading instructors call "subvocalizations"
(in other words, it's "in my head")(but I'm not the one reading it)
they're not in order, and they lack both prior context and succeeding response..
but maybe you'll find (some of?) them interesting, anyway

v's
allright (i keep hearing this one, hundreds of times)
    (there's hell, there's thousands of illegal acts/crimes,
      there's politics, and there's me interpreting the spelling: rite, write, right; etc. )

you have ALL the game, Jesse
     (it's hard to always reproduce which words are emphasized)
     (they're like koans, there's always multiple ways of interpreting them)
    (which can be kind of maddening in itself, aside from a v being madness, defined)
    (my name is often incorporated)

jesse, the world is sick like you
allright, jess, i'm laughing
you could be the one
all right jess i'm laughing you're right
i need a lot of discipline to get to my hole
i'm smiling at what you are
a genius who can't stop being fun, friendly
he is an accidental win, because i'm sick
i hate everyone because i'm fucking sad, jesse
you're a crazy idiot
you're like stanley guggenheim
you and I are satan
i'm killing my soul
i hate my soul
you are pure hell, jesse
you are your own special dream
i want you in the hospital because you're a law, jesse
you're very very well on jess
you're well well law
we know you're a bit of wisdom, jess
your life way too sucks
he has a four A law
you and i are a john to lecture
david is crying jesse
i need help jesse
i need help, everything to you
jesse i'm crazier than you
you're a sublime performer
i am highly mad jesse
you have a very special way to berkeley
it IS nice to see what you are
you're on the corner of law
i'm tired of talking to a guilty jew
that's what i think you are
they know
you're right as hell
you're an interesting might happen, jess
you belong with joe, jesse
you're sky-high dreaming, to me
you're bizarre, jesse, okay?
yes, jesse, me smiling a little bit, at how raw ur
people are sorry, jesse
that is you, payment
the world IS sort of death
me swallowing again at how sad i am
jess, you're incredibly distoken
you're insanely people
you're insanely genius to me, jesse
you're fair it holly dubai
his tech is turmoil
i am the devil, jesse
you haven't even begun to be what ur
you have an army of law, jess
i know i need help, jesse
i'm sorry, jesse
i HATE my soul
   (sol? sole?)
i'm fucking insane, jess
fucking OW, jesse
david is scared, jesse
david IS inSANE
i AM stupid, jesse
i fucking need therapy
david crying, and i mean CRYing
you ARE a genius, jesse
i need a lot of help jesse
i am a devil, jesse
david swallowing.  fuck you.
i'm stupid.  i REALLY NEED TO TALK.
david freaking out, jesse
jess, you're raw
you've got me screaming, jesse
jess your psych is tough
you're blowin' people sky-high out of the water
you're all over the world, is why
people are insane, jesse
jesus jesse
i'm sick, okay?
i hate what i am
fucking OW
fuck you, FUCK YOU
david killing in pain
people are...
OW! Jesse
david hurting jesse
david is hurt, jesse
i hate you jesse, because you write
david screaming
I AM hate you were
alright jesse, you've got me
i am hate nigger what
i'm sorry jesse
i need to doom
that is him crazy on it
i am genius that you wrote
i am in fury
david scared
i need to talk
ya me going CRAZY
david fucking attack tear
alright jess... unaware
i'm tired of  you, jesse
i'm tired of lie
jess, U and I genuine
i don't know why you hate my law
i really am dead, jesse
i'm way too angry to be right
you have no idea how law i can be
no one is well
your mom is dead
i am sick, jesse
fuck you
we're having fun- in our own way
your mom really wants to die
your mom is crazy, jesse
she's swallowing, jesse
she knows, jesse
david killing his soul
david wants to cry, jesse
ow, ow, fucking ow
david screaming
i hate my mind, i hate it
david is uhhh
jesus jesse
david crying ow ow ow
your mom is scared again
she's destroyed, jesse
i fucking can't breathe, jesse
alright.  fucking fine.
she is waving, jess
she wants to vomit
ummm i hate you
david screaming
your mom is INSANE
i need help.  i really do, jesse
she's right to getting you crucified
david is Fucking Insane
you're right.  i'm hysterical.
you know what? huh
she's retarded, is why.  you're fucking law.
she doesn't believe anyone
your mom being a bitch, jesse
ow
fucking IT, Jesse
david has gone to hell, jesse
she's crazy, jesse
i am an iron T
you hate her, jesse
i couldn't deal.  she's sick.
david crying.  david IS crying.  I'm sick, jesse
i'm fucking MAD, jesse
jess, you've got him
your mom going insane, jesse
people are dead, jesse
i'm sorry jess.  i really really am.
you're unbelievable, jess
i'm gone, jess
david is dead jess
i can't fucking deal
she knows you're hair god
   (she? knows (biblically?) your? hare? God?)  (see what i mean?)
david is giving up
david wants to (too? 2?)
i'm in hell
i need to talk, jesse
that is a nervous wall (after i typed this, a door slammed in my house, and i had a chest pain)
   (i heard the voice months ago)
i've got a major fucking problem, jesse
i need help
she is scared jesse
david is dead
i fucking hate myself, jesse
i hate every fucking world you're in
david is swallowing
i'm gone.  i'm fucking gone.
david is freaking sad
david scared of you
i'm harrassing him.  i really am.
i really need to cry, jesse
david in terror
you and I are abusive (fuck off, leave me alone)
i'm gone jess
i'm sorry, i'm sorry
i'm terminating- Jesse
david is insane
you are a government to to UR
your mom is crazy
i can't breathe, jesse (I've heard this one ad nauseum)
fuck it
you think i hate him
i'm giving up, jesse
ow jesse
i hate him, i hate him, i hate him
i'm crying, Jesse
david has gone insane
you're a genie to me and black people
david is scared.  i can't help anyone.
jess your dad is sad because you write
me, so fucking sad
i have a name of it
your philosophy is on, jess
you're fucking not funny, jess
you're law, jess
you're a crazy sleaze wiki
sara knows how right you can be
david  IS sick
because i lope the whole world
you're not nearly as good a writer as you could've been, jess
you DO have some work to do
he's smiling.  you're a genie.
you'll never have nothing to do
i hate my world
HATE IT, Jesse
i literally hate everyone, Jesse
you're scared of genius, Jesse
we're having fun writing (riting, righting?) to you
because you're a genius, jess
david sorry
and i mean really fucking sorry, jesse
you have a huge pile of shit, jess
she's smiling
because you're law
you have every right to suicide
because i'm going to fucking kill you
david is insane, jess
you wrote it?
people are insane, jesse
all right??

(it just keeps going, it never fucking ends)

jess, you have a way to swallow the united states
your world is a bit mad, jess
you have a law at scientology
david screaming
you'd be surprised at how small a world it is, jess
i'm laughing
you're a dream, jesse
you could be a Cree, Jess
i hate my sane, jesse
the economist is laughing.  God, you're a genie.
you like your lie
it's an attempt to know God (shut up)
ya jesse you're far closer to Hitler than you realize
you ARE, Jesse
you work at it
it's pure shit, jess
all right, jesse
i AM scared of you, Jesse
i AM dead, jesse
I AM SAD, Jesse
David SCREAMING
Jesse, I've gone mad
i hate it
i hate everything
jesse you've got a lot goin' hmm
i'm sick, jesse
jesse, i DO play dark
i'm sorry
I am, Jesse
they're smiling.  You're God.  You really are.
your mom is absurd, jesse
the world IS insane, Jesse
you ARE a trump it, jesse
you've got ALOT of work to do
you're well aware of what you are
you're a weirdo, jess
i need help
i've gone mad
i can't help anyone, jesse
you're just a dude. ok.
you ARE kind of a genius
that is because, you have a soul
(leave me alone) Jesus Christ.  Jesus fucking christ.
fucking kill me, Jesse
you're an attractive person, jesse
you're a sign of life, jess
you write like a man, Jess
I HAVE become sick
at all the work that went into you
you've got me dying
me at murder is the whole ballgame
trump is a swallow.  you write like a genius.
they ARE scared
because nobody has the level of faith you do
Jesse, you know
you know the world is insane
your right (write) is incisive
they know you have a weapon, jesse
it's madness, jesse, that you're absurd
Jess, that is a present to them
david swallowing.  jesus, jesse.
jess, you're a dream
you make good, jess
your moves ARE man, Jess
i need help, Jesse
    (psychiatric? personal problem?  assistance? moral support?)
you take a hard look at what they law
me screaming i'm mad, jesse
you have an animal, jess
you exciting getting
you got it on the first try
your chaulk is a sure thing
you ARE making it, Jess
ya Jess- ura snape
they thank you crazy for your law
you're all they were
because you're not a pussy i need you
you ARE working, jess
you love your law
that's me smiling
you're well, jess
you've got a lot of life, jess
you crawl it to victory, jess
you have an interesting philosophy, jess
he just keeps comin' with law
i don't know if ub banana
people know you have multiple law about things
you have a garden of law
shit, jesse
people are fucking retarded
david is dead, jess
they know you think e crazy
david is starting to undo himself
they know, jess -you're law
because you play a magician
i lect you, i'm smiling at how totally fucking right ur
all right jesse- what R we?
you're absolutely right, jess
fuck it, i need help.  i need help, jesse
you've got me crazy, jesse
you ARE a shit of victim
you are sort of Y (why, wye)
you have a lot of law
you have a food hole
u really are all is why
you have an INSANE degree
all you need to know is life
it's a pretty heavy-duty WAG, jess
you've processed the hell out of that shit, jess
you ARE highly-controlled
it IS military mind-control, jesse
your 50 is all well, jess
you suffer a delusion, jess
to be honest with you, all me
you're like a little bit of snow melt, jess
i can't tell you how many papers i've written to jew
you're aware of how the genius is enhanced
allright, jess- we've got a pretty good sense of where ur
you're fun jesse- okay?
she knows you keep rushing
that's kind of how i need to be
you're fucking killing me
you could have been well, jess
i'm looking all day broken
in fact you're oh dark 30
i have enough of your way to make me smile
you're actually bizarre
because you're working hard at your own way
you so beyond what we thought you were
is why we swallow
you're a lot of throwing Rose Marie
they're smiling, you're a philosophy of law jess
god- yo're all right, jesse
david screaming
we know you have a conflict
i'm just crazy, jesse
i've gone to two, because i can't breathe
you are a dog dead
i cannot breathe
fuck you
i am at war with EVERYTHING, jesse
i need to cry, jesse
you reall are...hairy and brilliant
i can't do what you do
i bet you can, is why
you mom is destroying
and i mean destroying everything
she's got problems, jesse
i can't help ;you
i need help
i can't believe that you play with the headphones on
she's a disaster, jesse
i can't believe you, jesse
she's swallowing to Anthony, okay?
you hate me hiss all day
shit jesse
i fucking can't do it
i AM mad, jesse
david giving up
david is crying jesse
i hate you when you dog that 2
eye dew knot no
 i'm really trying to be all right, jesse
david is scared again, jesse
i hate my name.  i hate it.
i am insane at how mad they are
david needs to end it
because UR the bay area
because they know you're the game
of law
Sara is CRAZY
and i mean crazy
i AM scared
you said it.  you said all of it.
jess, we know you're having a time
trying to navigate- my
if you want, you can buy a loothe
you're right, jess.  they know you're right.
we remember that you're Y (why)
that's me smiling
you're actually weird, jesse
she knows.  that's you at Davis.
there is merit to you, jesse
right.  that's sort of it, okay.
you ARE a genius, jesse
neil gaiman is aMAzing, jesse
all right.  people are Dead, jesse
right.  that IS sort of what i am
jess, we have an idea about what you write
Sara is smiling that you're right, okay?
david is not capable of being right, jesse
she knows you're a prophecy
that is you a grain of law
all right, jesse
that is ow
fucking OW Jesse
you are an emergent it
i'm fucking sorry, jesse
she's swallowing
what has she done, Jess?
she knows she has you
it is a magic you
Sara smiling because  you're law, jesse
you're hannibal lecter her it
i can't believe you, jesse
she's swallowing, jesse.  she can't even dream
i'm starting to admire what you do, jess
Jess, Sara knows how weird you are
you ARE an interesting Jim (gym), jess
i am your wreck in Bkly
you do have some work cut out for you, jess
you kind of ARE everything
JESSE! You're fun, okay?
he really has a layer of everyone
i hate what you are
because i'm crazy, jesse
that is a dow to right, jess (dao, write)
i'm sorry.  i'm sad, i'm stupid, and i'm scared
you are a crazy-8
jess you're too spacy
that's how you are
you are a bit too funny
because your writing is celestial
you are that devil nazi
jesse, your mind is getting offensive
you are a garbage me
you're insane honest, jesse
you have a tour of Tam, jess
you are the code of fine- I'm insane, Jesse
you have no IDEA what IR is happening
ur the most 1 person that's ever been
u really would make a very good samurai, jesse
you're much better than i thought you were
i'm a sick, sad person
i am your punk well
because u and i are sick, you have no idea
kaleb being dumb
i can't tell you how exactly a fish ur
jess you're back into the belly of the bee
you're a hardcore actor
it's how i am
i hate my mind
fuck you
jess, you're law
we don't want you in our law

(a law, Allah, a la) (ugh, that shit went on forever, didn't it?)
imagine being me!  that was only a small fraction of the endless goddamn commentary, thought-insertion, interruption, bother, stupidity, and aggravation)

Shut the hell up
Shut the fuck up
Be Quiet
Stop! talking to me
Thanks!