I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 45) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 1000 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

VOICES (going mental, as they say)

-the one in my head
-one of my 4 schizophrenia symptoms (with headshocks, chestpains, and teeth-tapping)
-attributed to David Andrew Eldridge, attorney (former friend)
(I consider them telepathy, not my subconscious)
-the ones I wrote down, at least (there were lots more, unrecorded)
-and yes, I am aware of the irony of my voice saying I am sane!

of interest?  I find them weird.
I imagine schizophrenia researchers (i.e. psychologists/psychiatrists) may find this of interest
as well as people interested in me
or just the generally curious about anything!

Jess you're crazy amazing
david is insane
hell of people wanna know what you are
people are dying
jess you're highly sane- that's all I can say
you'll be well, jess
is jess terribly sane?
Jess you're soul in the military
you're an inconvenient fact of modernity
you're as sane as they come
here's the thing -you're absolutely sane
jess you're un-fool
you're CEO of G
people are dying jesse
people are uneducated AND stupid
i'm tired as hell jesse
they're scared of you jess
I can't breathe
your dad is crying
your dad is insane
i'm a fucking monster
i'm going to kill myself
i'm going insane
that is your mom dying
you need to kill absolutely everyone
I can't take it anymore
I can't stand life jesse
i'm dying
I hate life
I hate you
i'm going to hell jess
you're all gray
david is dead, Jess
the same stupid shit Jess
you're totally broken jess
you're right jess
u r a document jesse
alright i'm at war jesse
i've had enough, jesse
alright jess i'm tormented by war
your dad is crazy jess
kill me
I need you to
you're a u.s. military veteran, in a very real and direct sense
i'm dying
i'm tired
I can't take it anymore
fuck you
I can't breathe
david wants to die jesse
I need... my name
i'm insane hatred about everything because I can
you can do more than me, AND you're well
david vomiting
ow jesse
fuck you fuck you fuck you
I fucking hate you
david is dying jesse
I can't breathe
i've got major major problems
i've got fucking problems
i've got fucking problems jess -that IS what you need to know
david is crying, jesse
I can't stop crying at how fucking mad you are
you know what, I am deeply deeply insane
david is DEAD
david is killing himself
I am Impossible, Jesse
I'm gonna die jess
I hate you
david scared, jesse
david gonna die, jess
I wanted it underground
i'm sorry Jesse
I just don't know if you can BE anyone
david is destroyed
I am out of my mind with stupid retarded mind wall
I don't know how to speak
david dying, jesse
I can't stop being a tard, jesse
I can't n-tain you
I need help
I hate wall
alright jess, i'm a law
I really know jesse
david is dying in hell
I can't breathe
i'm insane, jesse
I need to die, Jesse
fuck it I can't breathe jesse
i'm gonna die
I need to talk
i'm still sick
i'm still stupid
I need to know if I hate you
I really do try
I can't deal
i'm retarded, Jesse
i'm getting scared
I hate law
I fucking can't breathe
I can't take it anymore jesse
People are dumb, jesse
I am fucking retarded, jesse
i'm a disaster jesse
i'm getting sick, jesse
i'm killing myself, jesse
it's gonna be so fucking beautiful
david is insane
david IS insane jesse
I need help jesse
i'm hurting myself, jesse
i'm tired again
i've got fucking problems jesse
he doesn't help me
david screaming jesse
fuck you
i'm going crazy
i'm in danger jesse
i'm nervous-ing
i'm tired of life
i'm fucking rotten jesse
fucking kill me
i'm insane
the world is utter madness, jesse allright?
Because you're looming as one of the utterly most powerful men of the decade
I need help jess
i'm one oh thirty
things really can work, jess
they want to know what it is, jesse
you know what jess
i'm screaming
you're almost all monkey jess
you are an idiot to even begin
I'm sorry jesse
people hate you
i'm scared
alright jess i'm rotten to the bone
david really really needs help
I can't breathe
i'm sick, jesse
david is sad, jesse
because I hate you
I am crying in pain
I can't see what I do, jess
i'm gonna die
do you know?
Do you know anyone?
Fucking fine
david scared of you
I can't be your fucking puppet
david crawling, jesse
I hate you
I fucking hate you
david needs help, jesse
that's me going insane
david is getting scared jesse
i'm going insane
i've got a PROBlem
I need help to you
people ARE dumb, jesse
I can't breathe anymore jesse
I can't stop
I don't know how you did it
i'm trying to cry jesse
I hate you
i'm going to say it
people are dizzy, jesse
you're a fun, fun person
allright jess
i'm laughing
it's me going to hell, jesse
you're well on law
you and me ARE therapy
you are a genius jess
i'm fucking afraid of all my hate
I can't handle it
I need you
I really do, jesse
there's really all kinds of people jess
your life is hell of genius therapy
i'm crying
i'm a sick sick man
I really am
david has gone to hell
i'm going to hell
I'm going to burn
david is crying jesse
i'm fucking dying jesse
fucking ow
david killing himself
I need help
I fucking need to stop. Jesse
i'm gonna cry jesse
I hate you jesse
I need help
i'm fucking wrong about you
people are DUMB jesse
I can't breathe
i'm swallowing
david has gone insane
sara(h) is really really dying jesse
i'm tired
I hate life, jesse
because you're right, jesse
i'm fucking hurting myself
david is crawling
I can't breathe
I hate my life jesse
I can't breathe anymore jesse
I hate you
I need to fucking die
I hate my life
I hate myself
david is screaming
I want it twisted
david is crying, jesse
fuck you jesse
I fucking hate myself jesse
I fucking hate all law
I can't begin it again
that is a smile that you're well
people are scared of you
because you're law
you have an army
you are really law jesse
you're gonna eat hell of law
david crazy jesse
I think you're pretty well law jesse

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