I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
Ladies- I'm a single, straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 45) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 1000 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

fund jokes to tell

dolla dolla billz y'all
(of the funny money sort)

who wears a mask while working at a bank?
the loan arranger.

why did the banker keep looking up at the sky?
to see if there was any change in the weather.

why was the banker bored?
because he lost interest in everything.

where can you always find money?
in the dictionary
how can you double your money?
look at it in the mirror
what is an easy way to make your money bigger?
put it under a magnifying glass
how can you make money fast?
glue it to the floor
how did rich people get their money?
they were calm and collected
who makes a million dollars a day?
someone who works at a mint
what happened to the inventor who created the world's first automatic package-wrapping machine?
he made a bundle.

what goes further the slower it goes? $

when can a man be 6 feet tall and short at the same time?
short on funds

if a quarter and a 50cent piece were suicidal, who would jump first?
the quarter, because it has less cents (sense).

what is the difference b/w a crazy rabbit and a counterfeit dollar?
one is bad money, and the other is a mad bunny.

where do trees keep their money?
branch bank
where is the most liquidity?
the river bank
why is the moon like a dollar?
it has 4 quarters

what kind of money do monsters use?

profits/prophets.  make your own joke.

oil is a well-kept secret.

should i become an electrician? no, electricians wire for money all the time.

what happened when a skunk, a deer, and a duck went to a fancy restaurant?
the skunk had only a scent, the deer only a buck, so the cost ended up on the duck's bill.

that's 22 jokes.  collect them all!
i tried to make a joke about getting money from a monkey, but it's really strange... 
"Crime doesn't pay unless you steal special k from a monkey!" I know...that's pretty bizarre, right?  well I tried, lol.

No comments: