Yah! way

Picking up speed

 I have a lot of reading material in my room.   All of Pynchon.  Infinite Jest.  Books I’ve been given or picked up from Little Free Libraries, nearby.  A pile of masd (martial arts/self-defense) literature, that I’ve purchased (but hope to never -have to/ half two- use).  Trivia cards.   A book of 10,001 songs to listen to.   The songs I can listen to instantly with my Amazon Echo (smart speaker), of which I have the 3.99 monthly music subscription.  The trivia can prompt Wikipedia research.  I could just read Wikipedia, frankly.  That’s enough.  But I have daily NYT and weekly Economists, on my Kindle.  Ted talks.  The onion.  It’s like I’m a student, but in all the classes at once.  Maybe I should specialize.  My attention is dispersed between news, history, literature, music, and the philosophy and theology of my blog.  I want to read my dictionary.  And my atlas.  And my Guide to Essential Knowledge book.  I really should get started with speed reading and not oversleeping and applying discipline to my life, if I’m to have any hope of completion, or even feeling satisfied with a single day’s effort.   I need to feel hope, possibility, the joy of satisfied curiosity, intensity, and progress.  I am 50 years old.  I’m still just a student, like college, high school, or even childhood, which is the way I like it.  I am not motivated to make millions.  I like making spending money by exercise, and making dogs and their owners happy.   That is enough.  I have freedom, in my madness, to pursue sanity, and encyclopedic knowledge.   My blog is fun to write and read/review.   I like my own mind (usually).  I am less crazy, less bothered, and am happy about my current life, and hopeful for even better things in a future with a published book, maybe, or a supercharged life of research and speed-reading, absorbing all kinds of interesting facts, driven by curiosity and engagement with society through my blog.  I’ve bought some big shoes to fill.  The biggest, maybe.  I'm already at where I want to be.   Then again, I want to live up to my potential.  Maybe I should make a detailed list of books, songs, ted and YouTube videos, bucket list of activities, a realistic chronology of getting there, from here.  There will always be more.  I will never be finished.  I will die in a state of incompletion.  But I can set goals and objectives, fight battles in pursuit of the war’s victory, and be happy in just maintaining my current sense of meaningfulness, if not bliss, in the intensity of my daily life.  Just because I am content doesn’t mean I shouldn’t strive for more and better, no?  Or maybe I should just chill and relax, doing one thing at a time, and tell my to do list to take a hike, I’ll get there if and when I get there, and adhere to the Go Slow pleasure I took to heart back in Belize.  I don’t need a wife, kids, cars, a degree, fame, sex, a house, world travel, or even (you might think) a cult following for my blog.  All I need is health, delicious food, some daily exercise, and feeling good about myself, as I make progress (at whatever speed, glacial or zippy) toward finishing my reading.  Let’s say I live to 100.  That’s 50 years in front of me.  I could achieve almost anything, if I still believe what people said my potential was, when I was a boy.  Motivated discipline could yield serious results, with focus and tenacity.  Ideally, I want it all.  I want love, money, encyclopedic knowledge, health, sanity, leisure, bliss, and global progress, development, health and safety, peace, and joy/community.   At the moment, I feel like I should focus on all my data, and get serious about intensity of engagement and absorption.  That’s my payment!  The reward is becoming a better person, learning like I’ve always wanted, but never could.  I have freedom, free time, and a vast world, in my relatively tiny room.  Teaching is a way of learning, and I hope I can share, too.   When I’m purring at potential, I will feel content, I will be happy, and I can go from there.  Immersion, intensity, focus, discipline, engagement, and bliss.  I just finished reading a speed reading book.  Now I want to apply it to my piles of books, trivia cards, wikipedia, and music/video.   Yah!  Git r done!!   Need for speed.   No, not meth.  Like a test with a time limit, or racing to the hospital.   You march to the speed of your own drummer, as they say.   Haste or leisurely, unhurried, unrushed, deliberate.  Nimble, swift, furious, pell-mell.   Stay safe.