A little fun

Hi. My name is Phuk Yuo. That is my real name. My parents didn't know better. I am Vietnamese. My parents don't speak English. It is pronounced fook yu, but everybody calls me Fuck, here in America. What's in a name? You! Your parents were creative, in two ways: physically, and linguistically. I have nothing more to say. May the force be with you, Phuk! Well, I guess I said something.

Hi. My name is Nat. As Nat, I am in fact Satan. Or Santa, if you want to be clever. We both bring gifts. Satan brings on the pain, and Santa brings toys. The devil knows his psychology, and employs both positive and negative reinforcement, carrots and sticks, incentives and disincentives, rewards and punishments, happiness and misery. Choose wisely, my friend. You can call me...

Hi. I'm Lucille. In Winter, I wear fur. So it's a Lucy fur. Ha! Did you know ermine farms execute their animals anally, with electric prods? That's some shit! You don't want Lucifer all up in your ass. You can rest well knowing that warm people with warm personalities might actually end up in the warmest place of all! Which makes me wonder: if Absolute Zero is the lowest temperature, is there a theoretical maximum temperature, as well? Because Hell, Norway, is actually a kind of nice place (If you don't want to burn in hell, bring sunscreen!). They say the center of the sun is a pretty hot place. But the universe is a large place, and extremes could be extremely extreme way out there, somewhere.

Hi. I'm Stan Cross. I'm a friend of Pat Devlin. I know Devan Cross, too. Cassidy Starfire and Kat Starr and Sonya Solinsky are the three women I want to set up on blind dates with the three of us. A kind of holy trinity, you might say, of couples with weird names. I'll let your imagination run wild with the symbolic possibility. Honestly, though, we might get along swimmingly.

Joy dish soap, harmony snacks, cheer laundry detergent: Do these things make you Happy, I asked one of Cinderella's dwarves, in storyland. Who is the heroine of that story? I hear she's blissful, on her horse. H is for hospital, and it's also the shape of the high school I went to, which isn't all that elevated from sea-level, to be honest. Father Horsefall used to teach there. Luvs diapers and Perfection spray starch complete the picture! Have a nice trip, see you next fall!

Window panes and propane in Hell, Norway? Why not. It's all good, they say. Maybe Josie Fries lives there.

All the names are real! (I may have miss-spelled Horsfall)