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Welcome!

I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
L-I'm a straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 52) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2200 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Words and Religion

such as 'Wards' and 'Jinn/gin'-

“Reality is all the God there ever is” is a quote (by Adi Da) that I subscribe to.
Reality is the only thing that is infinite.
Space and time, in both directions, bigger and smaller, past and future.
We are all our ancestor's afterlives.
Heaven is love-bliss, hell is torture (during our lifetimes).
'Oblivion' has I live on in it. But we are like bubbles, every one of us will pop.
'Hell' is similar to the contraction for he will. 'Paradise' is similar to a pair of dice.
Heart is hater, rearranged. (or, also, the word 'earth')
Soil is an acronym for sex, orgasm, intimacy, love: it's the soil from which our tree of life grows.
Evolution has love in it. The devil is to lived, as god is to dog.
Funeral has fun in it. Laughter has ugh in it. Warmth has war in it. Cold has old in it.
Hope is a town in Arkansas. Hell is a village in Norway. Paradise is near Chico.
Joy is a dish soap. Money rearranges to My One.  God is One.  In God we trust.
Hatred conjurs a red hat. Death is hated, rearranged. The letter T looks like a cross, so:
Paint conjurs pain on a cross. A cross would make me cross. You can't cross a street.
Couch also evokes such suffering: c-ouch. C is the 3rd letter, like 3 nails.  Also, there's 'touch'.  Touched by VAST (visual audio sensory theater) is a cool song.  T-ouch, mr. T-pain.
Allah could be All ahh. Or, to be legalistic, a law. Or, to be cryptic, All a H.
H could stand for a hospital, harvard, or honda, for example.
The word honda means 'deep' in spanish.
Islam almost deconstructs to Is Lame. Buddhism makes me think of hissing a boo.
Christian makes me think of Chris' chin. Christ is Chris T is Chris Tucker.
Just as Tom Hanks is to thanks. Britney Spears is an anagram for Presbyterians.
China has chin in it, too. The plate tectonics of your kitchen china. North American chi.
Communion sounds sexy. I'll wafer you outside.  Is Mass out? No, but you're shirt's untucked. Sun, the light-hearted heavenly body of christ. Jesus has Zeus in his name, in spanish. Eucharist rearranges to u a christ. Eat a hostess with your host.
I find it interesting that printer and internet have inter in them.
If you speak slytherin, you could be subliminally sinister. Inter- resting IS interesting.
A mosquito is not a little mosque. America has Erica in it. The bay area sounds like bury ya/bearya.
USA is us, you say? The body politic, another corporation. Hello has hell in it. Pillow has p.l.o in it.
The answer to what's up is High. Or, the opposite direction from gravity.
Good morning has mourning in it. And I don't usually think of breakfast as breaking a fast.
The phrase “all right” elicits for me Dostoevsky's quote “without God, all is permitted.”
Did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side? He's all right now.
God is love. Without love, is all permitted? And with love, have you lost freedom?
By my count, Freedom has 5 meanings, 5 opposites:
free and enslaved, free and incarcerated, free and busy, free and oppressed, and free and expensive.
Also (addendum: of course, there's Determinism, too; #6) (Dee-bio?)
As the bible says, do you not know that you are not your own?
And, as Alice in Chains sang, if I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead.
That's all folks. Good bye. To God. A dios.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Science of Happiness

there's a (free!) UC BerkeleyX class on this topic online!

I plan on taking it, and creatively putting its insights onto this post!  stay tuned, to be continued!
link

Coursera has a course in "learning how to learn."  Sounds like a good place to start.  I also want to learn speed reading.  Edx also has classes in Quran and Development, which also sound interesting to me.

the code of contractions

ill, well, shell, hell

maybe worth thinking about:
ill is close to I will (i'll)
we will elicits well (we'll)
shell, she'll
hell, he'll

community and togetherness and companionship and camaraderie create wellness!
(seems to be the message)

The Pope's favorite book, and How to fall in love

From TED, and the NY Times

1)Today, in the NY Times, there was a lengthy article about Pope Francis: In it, is said Bergoglio's favorite book is Manzini's 'The Betrothed' (he's read it at least 3x).   It was published in 1842.  He said it's a good read before one's marriage.  It's not in the Berkeley library system, but I haven't checked out link+ for it, yet.  I'm not sure if it's in English/translated, or only in Spanish (which would be fun, too).  Ah, it's Italian.  "It has been called the most famous and widely read novel of the Italian language".     [1]  Link to wikipedia article about it

2) Mandy Len Catron's TED talk (on love)
God is love!  An excellent talk.

And,
3)the 36 Questions that lead to love:
 the Psychology Today article, with the questions, link.
caveat: falling in love isn't the same as staying in love
love is a choice, made by both, repeatedly, without assurance of reciprocation:
"that's the deal with love" -MLC

Friday, September 18, 2015

Everything I Do (almost)

The last time I did this was as a sophomore at UC Davis, in the dorms:

JESSE is

__ In __ Out
__ welcome! Please knock.

In:
__ online:
  __ news: csmonitor, cnn, wikipedia, huffpo, wapo, berkeleyside
  __ e-mail (jessteshara@yahoo.com)
  __ blog (jesseteshara.blogspot.com)
  __ ted, __ youtube, __ theonion, __ literotica
  __ j!archive, __ quizup, __ wikipedia
  __ khan, __ oyc (open yale courseware), __ uc berkeleyx
  __ okcupid
  __ audio:
       college radio:
       __kalx, __whrb, __wmbr, __wprb, __kcpr, _kzsc, _kdvs, _ kusf
       __krfh, __wxin, __ clave, __wybcx, __ dcr, _ kzsu, _ ksfs, _ wvfi
       __cornell, __ vanderbilt
       other:
       __ gdradio.net, __ baroque, __ mormon, __ quran
       __ joe frank, __ philosophy talk
       __ pandora
       __ hearts of space
       __ library cd
       __ audiobook
__offline:
  __ reading: __ a book, __ paper, ___ magazine
  __ writing
  __ exercising
  __ eating
  __ watching a movie (from library)
  __ nothing

__ do not disturb:
  __ sleeping
  __ napping
  __ reading something really good!
  __ listening to music (headphones)
  __ doing nothing/ meditation
  __ wanking
  __ on the phone/texting
  __ entertaining a guest
  __ making sweet, sweet love

Out:
__ kitchen, __ bathroom, __ backyard
__ coffee and pastry: __ peet's, __ starbuck's, __ nearby local cafe
__ daily downtown double: central library/ south branch
     (new york times, economist, foreign affairs) and Y (swim, lift, bike)
__ meals:
  __ free lunch (mcgee church MWF's),
  __ newman, __ all soul's, __ st. mark's, __ st. mary magdalene
  __ monthly BFP (food pantry, friend's church)
  __ getting food: __ trader joe's, __ safeway, __ whole foods
  __ restaurants:
    __ sushi secrets, __ yogurtland, __ deli, __ togo's, __ papa john's,
    __ subway, __ bongo, __ noah's bagels, __ smart alec's,
    __ lox, stock and bagel, __ herbivore, __ saturn cafe, __ ethiopian (on sacramento)
__ shopping:
  __ walgreens, __ orchard, __ goodwill, __ target,
  __ sports basement, __ corner store (brb)__ nearby market
__ gtu library (“holy hill”), __ cal library, __ north branch, __ west branch, __ claremont branch
__ beach, __ park, ___ museum, __ musical venue, __ movie
__ san leandro, __ san francisco, __ fremont (mission san jose), __ south san francisco, __ auburn, __ pacifica
__ oakland: __ SPAP's (Sara, Pierre, Augustus and Poutine), __ Kaiser (group), __ volunteering, __ some restaurant on Piedmont ( __ thai, __ chinese, __ fentons, __ ethiopian)
__ yoga (yttp) (yoga to the people), __ group meditation (shambala)
__ walking, __ biking, __ running

the boxes are for putting in a pushpin.  maybe the printed paper should be placed over a cork board.. and maybe a pinwheel with "will be back in __ minutes" would be good.  and maybe (!) one shouldn't trust people to know where u r and how long you'll be out (!) Also, I staggered the original in sets and subsets, with indentation, which didn't translate into the blog very well.   This is my "freedom matrix" of 115 things (by my count) I can choose from, at any time.  Or, of course, I can do something else, step outside my routine/comfort zone (such as traveling, or finding employment, or meetup groups, or surfing unvisited websites.  Or Actually Surfing.) - but making this list was still a good exercise in Know Thyself.  I've got this list up on the wall in my room, it helps with freedom, I think.  It's hung next to my 2 book-lists.

- p.s. I'm currently reading Terry Pratchett's 'The Last Continent'.

On Evil

a quote, well said (imho)

(that's short for 'in my humble opinion')

"Evil is not a rare virus that a few of us catch. It is a disease that is transmitted in bits and pieces from person to person until it accumulates and overcomes an individual."
 -Natman Schaye

article link

Friday, September 11, 2015

Polarity

Juxtaposition of Opposites

Good and bad, Virtue and vice, Right and wrong, Kind and cruel, wicked and Helpful
God and devil, Saints and sinners, Angels and monsters, Heaven and hell, Love and hate
sick and Well, Healthy and diseased, Strong and weak, Fit and fat, possessed and Exorcised
Pleasure and pain, Comfort and torture, suffering and Bliss
Joy and sorrow, Happy and sad, Elation and depression
war and Peace, Sex and violence, Creation and destruction, Love and rockets, guns and Roses
Enlightenment and delusion, Truth and lies, Nirvana and false-consciousness, Awake and asleep
life and death, living and dying, alive and dead, beforelife and afterlife, reincarnation and disintegration
temporary and lasting, ephemeral and eternal, always and never, transitory and forever
infinite and nonexistent, being and nothingness, immortality and oblivion

yin and yang, black and white, soft and hard, light and dark, male and female, cold and hot, 0 and 1
republican and democrat, liberal and conservative, red and blue, right and left, moderate and extreme
high and low, up and down, above and below, superior and inferior, top and bottom
victor and vanquished, winner and loser, celebratory champion and dismal defeated, noisy and silent
looking down on and looking up to, condescension and admiration
dominance and submission, gentle or rough, clean and dirty, fast and slow, loud or quiet
respectful and disrespectful, amorous or pugnacious, fuck 'em or fight 'em, overt or covert
inside or outside, alone or communal, subversive or helpful, sacred and profane, courteous and rude
benevolent and malevolent, beneficent and malicious, philanthropic and evil, law-abiding and criminal
appreciative and resentful, real or fake, powerful and powerless, design and chance
pure and diluted, homogeneity and diversity, local and universal, global or parochial
static and dynamic, change or maintaining the status quo, routine and variety, same and different
hot/arid/dry desert and clean/clear/cool swimming pool, scorching heat and biting cold
prepared and unprepared, obtuse and precise, frustration and facilitation, supported and thwarted
infinite and infinitesimal, meaningful and absurd, big and small, huge and tiny, chaos and order
potential and realization, extraordinary and mundane, hero and villain, anarchy and structure

Better and worse, Pleasant and unpleasant, Laudable and heinous, Empathic and sociopathic
Free and enslaved, free and incarcerated, free and busy, free and oppressed, free and expensive
Rich and poor, Wealth and poverty, Affluent and impoverished, The good life and squalor
hungry or Sated, starvation and gluttony, lack and excess, malnutrition and obesity
work and play, leisure and labor, games and real life, virtuality and reality, needy and satisfied
Security and danger, unity and fractiousness, harmony and discord, equanimity and dukkha
Truly you and living a lie, drunk and sober, anxiety and Serenity, Informed and out-of-the-loop
Educated and ignorant, Wise and foolish, Curious and uninterested, retarded and Brilliant
Smart and stupid, Intelligent and dumb, Sharp and dull, Fast and slow, Bright and dim
Insightful and imbecilic, superficial and Penetrating, shallow and deep, probing and incurious
Lovely and horrific, Beauty and ugliness, miraculous and droll, Honor and dishonor
affable and dour, serious and in jest, Helpful and hindering, problem and Solution
Sublime and annoying, apathetic and Inspired, Interesting and boring, bored and Engaged
active and passive, Proactive and reactive, Clarity and confusion, Delicious and disgusting
anguish and Bliss, Hope and despair, synonyms and antonyms, Satisfaction and anhedonia
weird and normal: insane and outsane, sane and unsane, dead and undead, thriving and get a life
isolation and community, antisocial and social, misery and FUN.

alpha and omega, beginning and end, words and Silence!

Thursday, September 10, 2015

All We Ever Do

this just about covers it, I think

(input, output, body)
i- read, watch, listen   (books, mags, paper, tv, movies, websites, radio)
o-write, talk, create     (phone, computer, face to face)
b-eat, exercise, sleep

or, put another way,
eat, drink, piss, shit, wake, sleep, work, play
move yourself around, things around, and ideas around
(body, ideas, things..."bit"coin!)
see, hear, smell, taste, touch (do an "internal diagnostic"!)
breathe: inhale, exhale; suck and blow 

go
to and fro, hither and yon, here and there, out and about, there and back, up and down, right and left, forward and back (!)

all we ever do is LOGISTICS (move stuff).
punctuated by naps, prayer, meditation (mind maintenance)

a more psychological angle:
-"carrots"
happy: food, sex, entertainment, nature, laughter, money, learning/teaching, endorphins, reaching goals/achievement/success, comfort, beauty, love.
-"sticks"
unhappiness: pain, suffering, boredom, frustration, sadness, anxiety, danger, sickness, stupidity, ignorance, ugliness, poverty.

JT's recent thoughts

some concepts meriting further investigation

medical terminology:

difference between:
-energy, spirit, mind
-drugs/pharmaceuticals/medication/medicine
-worry, stress, anxiety, fear, panic, paranoia
(feeling unsafe, afraid of future problems with relationships, money, health, etc.)
-psychosis, dissociation, de-realization
(is one a type of another, or a completely different problem?)

getting personal
My dad is in the hospital with a leg infection (cellulitis)
One of my aunts is waiting on the results of a biopsy (update: benign!)
An uncle is battling cancer (leukemia).
Another uncle (and aunt) are moving from their home to a care-facility.
And I, of late, have been (too/painfully) symptomatic.
_____
in other news:
It's my brother's wife's birthday, today: Happy B-day, Liz!
and my friend Jack's birthday, today, too.
Tomorrow (9/11!) is my friend Theresa's birthday.
Go, Virgo!
I just turned 44 on the third.  Hoping it'll be a good year for me.
received giants gear (hat, sweatshirt, tee),
and subway/trader joe's/amc movies gift cards

coping tools:
take a shower, exercise, go for a walk, music, meditate, lie down...
do something different -get into a different frame of mind.
call a friend, be social, get out of your head.

Today's number-
my number: 6
(on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being perfectly healthy/happy)
maybe 6-8.  right now, in the moment, I'm fine (I like writing), but recently has been tough.
i like the idea of a range (for the past week, like the highs and lows of daily temperature)
 my 3 symptoms: head-shocks, chest pains, voice
 (some days, I'd almost say I'm well!)
      other days, my voice might say it (!, lol)

I recently discovered the website www.feelthebern.org
about Bernie Sanders:  Go, Bernie!
I want to read the entire site (it's extensive)
He just had a birthday, too (a fellow Virgo)

I recently read: Soul Music, by Terry Pratchett
His 'The Last Continent' is due back in 3 days
I also have checked out, 2 books by Vaclav Smil (global catastrophes, and made in the usa)
I didn't finish my Mark Twain book.  Maybe I'll check it out again.

also, my aunt Vicki is running for SF Sheriff
she gave me a BD card with a funny picture (a pun) of vices clamping pigs/boars/hogs:
if you're happy and you know it, clamp your hams!
my first thought, though, was: vice pigs
(like miami vice, and the denigrating term for police officers)
SFPD, btw, doesn't have a "vice" department (anymore?).
jesus, the carpenter: did he see something wrong (evil?) with clamps?
i think of Cheney as a "vice" president (kind of evil)

Jesus and linguistics, speaking in tongues, and-
on a related note:
the word "paint" has 4 possible subliminal meanings:
(P ain't, Pa int, Pai NT, and pain T)
-P is the emoticon for ack
-int is intel (intelligence) on pa/dad (hopefully healing)
-pai make me thingk of pai mei from kill bill, and NT makes me think of new testament
-and, of course, pain T makes me think of Jesus (T, the letter, looks like a cross)

other crypto-christian words
words like fixture and tangerine (fix t you are e, t anger in e)
e is the 5th letter, christ was punctured 5x, christ in (my) numerology is 38912 (or 5).

I come from a political family.   (knowledgeable dad, holding court at the dinner table) My dad used to teach:  citizenship in the community, citizenship in the nation, and citizenship in the world merit badges (for the boy scouts of america)

and my mom goes to Catholic Mass every day (her sister is a Sister, i.e. a nun).  She used to be a social worker, and the front desk person at Duggan's Serra Mortuary, and is learning how to give eulogies at Catholic funerals.

today's religion thought:
crypto-islam?
I am God - like everybody else (I submit).
"Allah" : all a H

and,
the latest "idea of reference"
JLTV is the new "joint light tactical vehicle" for the military, as an improvement on the humvee.
Jesse Lawrence Teshara Victory!! in my head, anyway.
Will I be able to buy one for the streets? prob'ly not, I'm guessing.