6 dudes

Good times

So a dude’s place burns down.  He loses everything.  Nobody is hurt.  He sleeps at a friend’s house.  He reads a free library book.  He looks for a cheap apartment.   He gets Social Security.  He watches some tv.   Listens to radio.  He buys a new computer.  Life goes on.  He gets by with a little help from his friends.   And family.  He gets free food from the pantry, and cal fresh.  Life is simple.  He meditates.   He came into the world with nothing, and he’ll leave with nothing.  He has no wife or children.  He simply exists.  He breathes.  He wakes, and sleeps.  He lives in a college town.  He can go sit in on lectures.  He can read wikipedia.  The whole world is on the computer.  In a way, he’s richer now than he was before.   The fire burned all the distractions.  He can concentrate on higher priorities.  It was a blessing in disguise.  He can date instead of read.  He can find love instead of merely escaping in a book.  He can travel without worrying about his stuff.  He has shed a burden.  Life is more clearly present.  It’s just him and the world.   Stuff is cool though.  He misses his bike, his books, his bok choy.   Whatever.   It’s just stuff.  He’s alive, and that’s what matters. Shit happens.  Life goes on.  Time to get on with it.  

Another guy meets the girl of his dreams.   She’s beautiful, the sex is amazing, they’re in love.   They buy a house.  They have some kids.  They grow old.  They do stuff, like go to restaurants and go on trips and have people over for dinner.  They watch tv.  The planet continues circling around the sun.  They get older and older, closer and closer to death.  They go to church.  They have grandkids.  They die.  They’re buried next to each other.  Their bones turn to dust in the same patch of ground.  Like whatever, who cares.   It was just a dream.  The sun is the same in a relative way.   Humanity strives for the stars.  

The ambitious, hopeful, politician gets elected.  He wants to solve all the problems.  He can’t do it alone.  He needs money to get support, and support to get money.  His opponents play dirty.   Politics is a dirty game.  Ideals get compromised, and everybody finishes with mud all over them.  People can make their own worlds fine, for themselves.  Governments aren’t even necessary.  The world is a mess, and will always be full of misery, poverty, violence, problems.  Hopefully, leaders can keep from getting into wars, and bombing the shit out of each other, sending soldiers to their deaths, and threatening entire societies with apocalyptic nuclear annihilation.  

The Pope is just selected by the college of cardinals, the smoke is puffing its affirmation.  He wants the world to be peaceful, good, happy, full of love.  He wants Christianity to grow.  He wants the church to have money and power.   He wishes the best for humanity, for progress and development, the alleviation of suffering, and the promise of a better tomorrow.   Healing and hope and, yes, heaven.   Peace, prosperity, progress, and paradise.  In the mean time, he will be happy with Basic Need met for all, and missionaries successfully spreading the word of God to every corner of the globe.  He hopes to meet Jesus in the next life.  He wants his flock to know the love of God, and for all the world’s religions to cohabit in harmony.   He also wants the cute nun who serves him tea to give him a blowjob.  Lord, have mercy!

The convicted murderer knows he fucked up.  He let his emotions get the better of him.  He also left behind a ton of evidence.   He should have known better.  Well, now he has to get used to life in prison, life behind bars, life without parole, a life sentence, being stuck in a cage, without freedom, without sex, without remorse?  I mean, it felt right, at the time.  She had it coming.  Life isn’t fair.  Shit.  Stuck in prison with all these other idiots.  They can all go to hell.  Unless this IS hell.   I mean, I guess it is, right?  Occasionally there’s a good meal, and I have access to a library, at least.  But other than that, this shithole sucks.  I’ll get out after I’m dead.  Yay, death.

Jesus Christ steps out of his spaceship.   Ahh, good to be back!  Back on earth, with my own gang to protect me, this time.  It was worth the wait.  I mean, the heavens were fun and all, but nothing beats the fresh air and terra firma of this good old planet, where it all began!  Now I will reign in power and glory, and I’m married to a zillion nuns!  All right!  I’ve read all the books in heaven, and I’m wise to all the science and literature, I’m ready to rule, let’s rock and roll!  Who should I go to first, the Pope?  Or maybe I should make a record.  Just joshin’!   I’m omniscient, so I always know what to do!  Let’s get this party started.  Zeeblezor, take me to Xi.   China is the biggest country, and my spider-sense is tingling that I should start there.  These miracles I have planned are gonna knock his socks off!   I can’t tell you any more than that.  Heaven on earth, here I come!  We’ll go to the UN after China, alright?   Set phasers on stun.