Decision Matrix

 Pros and Cons of Each, pluses and minuses, (a kind of cost:benefit analysis?)

I may want to wait until after there’s a vaccine

I’m in no hurry.  And property values may go down.

It’s not where you are, it’s what you do (could be true)

   Access to a gym and pool?

Gloomy weather is much nicer with a fireplace, hot cocoa/apple cider/tea, and friend(s)

Staying at a posh AirBnB, like a hotel, would of course be a pleasant experience, I think

I’m already pretty familiar with Portland (been there 3x)

Last time I read a lot (good reads!), got a library card, borrowed Pierre's bike, went to Reed, Powell's books, some recommended restaurants, and walked Banh Mi and Poutine.  I also went to a street faire with S+P+A, as well as a trip to the Portland zoo.

Pro Berkeley

Rent control, excellent rent ($750), weather, family, libraries (SF, Berkeley, Oakland, Alameda; Cal, GTU), close Kaiser, free dental (when free clinic is open), Wag!, my non-wag dogs (Junie, Kaleb, Snoopy + Shelby), dog sits (Duke, Rover, Junie), MSJ (mission san jose) volunteering, $5/mo wifi, utilities included, free yoga studio (yoga to the people), Indian rock, Tilden park, restaurants I enjoy, free food, a few friends.  (listed on Thanksgiving, with gratitude)

Con, Berkeley

Into a repetitive routine, homeless people, stress on bart, maybe earthquake

Pro Portland

SPAH, culture (“books, bikes, beer”), reed college / library, Nature, something new, a new life

Con, Portland

Less educated, 625 miles from family, unknown demand for dog walking, kp distance?

lol

Maybe I just need a break, variety, a change, a vacation, a girlfriend, mix things up a bit -

There's a license plate frame that says "nobody beats berkeley."   It IS pretty freaking nice.  But so is Portland!  I've always liked rain.  I've even taken exception to people, like weathermen, calling it "bad weather."  And the Nature in Portland is lush.  I have a dream I would lead nature hikes, with a familiarity with the fauna/flora, if not a mastery of botany and zoology.  History and emails and news, i.e reading, take up most of my time now, though.

I could do the same thing I do in Berkeley in Portland

Or I could do what I imagine doing in Portland in Berkeley!

There IS a difference between, say, NYC, and Montana, lol.

I'd like to think I'd be happy almost anywhere, honestly.

   

(ugh, I had a dream where I was trapped in a dryer - woke up, trying to get out)... so, hell could be anywhere, too (!)

P-land

 I will go to the MHA 

     office on Monday, to ask questions  (Mental Health Advocates).

I will also google all my questions.

   basically, what happens to my benefits? SSA, SSI

   like, equivalent of denti-cal in Oregon?

          my senior advantage media/medi, special needs kp medical plan coverage

         is there a free clinic, like Berkeley (dental)

         how far is Kaiser (Sara and Pierre left Kaiser because of distance, and they have a CAR)

         would I be paying my mom rent?

         should a condominium be considered an investment property?

         SSDI vs. SSI 

No matter what happens, I'll be happy.  Berkeley is fine.  And attachment, aversion is suffering.

But my motivation to move is the Nature (so lush), the friends (like family), change and challenge, the culture (bikes, books, beer).

I don't mind the rain.  It's kind of nice.   Rains often, but usually not heavily.  

Factors:

Sara concerned about my housing situation

   thinks 1525 won’t be a permanent situation

Portland is cheaper

Hillary, her broker (Sara lives on Clinton! Lol), is trusted

Still close to Bay Area (relatively)

   (Portland is 622.8 miles away by car)

“It would be best if I had a place to live always”

Something new and secure

  (I’d know I will have a roof overhead, always)

nature, friends

Rain, reed

Bikes, books

change, challenge

food, females

Condominium, condolences

Comfort, computer

people, parks

Churches, Choo-choos

Scouts, skits

Plants, ants

Dance and romance

Trivia, essentials

In other news,

I walked Kaleb today.   he loves my treats.  $25

I dropped my Trek (ebike) off for maintenance, repair.   Week and a half to two week wait time.  $250.

I dropped off both used printers that don't work on my computer at the UCS for recycling, repair, sale, whatever.

   (I recently bought a new printer, it works!), $109

I have an optometrist appointment Monday afternoon (after Greg visits in a.m., maybe)

    I plan to get new glasses.  I have a yearly $300 vision benefit.

Wednesday is my dental visit #2. (pay half the $1100, minus the $65 already paid)

I called the BFC to have them send my dental records to EBFD

   (Berkeley free clinic, east bay family dentistry)

    the girl from the clinic didn't understand me, I think.   

    she said she would send me an email (didn't come)

And my blog is having a big day: over 300 page views today, so far.

She lives on Clinton and her broker's name is Hillary (!)

Sara sent a video of Augie saying hi to uncle Jesse 

Dental Visit

From free to $1100

My crown fell out Sunday night.   I bought a 25 cent box of Mike and Ike's.  I was worried, about infection or having to chew only on my right side, and having to swish listerine all the time.   My last dental visit was a year ago, last November, at the BFC (Berkeley Free Clinic), which is mostly for homeless, I think, but I won the lottery and got in.  (Not a figure of speech, they really have a lottery for aspiring patients).   The BFC, though, has been closed since March, remaining so as long as the shelter-in-place order is operative.  So my insurance is Denti-Cal, which is a part of Medi-Cal, which is a part of Medicaid (I think!).  In any case, I got lucky and found a general practitioner who accepts denti-cal who could schedule me today, Tuesday.   I don't know how much of an emergency it was, as it didn't hurt, but still, I have a freaking hole in my face!  I didn't swallow the crown, thank goodness.  I brought it with me, in a little key west wooden chest, which the assistant thought was funny.  David from the BFC called me back within 24 hours, and told me what the KP member services woman said - that Denti-Cal will probably cover my crown for free.   They both were wrong.  East Bay Family Dentistry charged $65 to clean up my old crown and glue it back in my mouth, and will charge $1100 (minus this week's 65) to put a new, better crown in, after an appointment next week to get the crown shape right, and a third visit to put it in.   Maybe I chose the wrong dentist.  The BFC did it for free.  The BFC dentists are at Just Health 510, and maybe they wouldn't have charged me a thousand bucks.  I did the math.   As a dog-walker, it would take 44 Kaleb walks to cover it.  44 weeks.  44 Saturdays.  44 trips out to Oakland on my bike, for a $25 walk (an hour).   ANYway!  My mom is helping me with the cost, which is super-appreciated.   I arrived to today's appointment early, and they didn't want me to hang out in their waiting room, so I went outside to the table outside Boston Market, in the rain, under an awning, and read trivia, until it was time.   There was this weird police robot, that looked like a rolling egg, patrolling the parking lot.  I bought an 8.99 chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good, while I waited.  

Questions

I called Kaiser, and they have enrolled me in Delta dental? (as part of my Medi/Medi plan).  I have no idea how this is part of, or separate from, the Denti-Cal coverage.

Medi-Cal Dental (aka Denti-Cal), which I have, is that the same as a "Managed Care Dental Plan"?

Does BFC have my dental records?  Can and should they send them to EBFD?  Did I have a root canal?  I actually don't remember, and am not sure even what that is.  Maybe I did.

If I had chosen Just Health 510, would I have not been charged $1000+ for a crown?  Who knows?

My dentist was Dr. Chew.   I noted that was a perfect name for a dentist.  My name in Spanish is Chuy (prohnounced Chewy!), which I didn't say.  But he mentioned how the attorney general's name is Barr, and I mentioned Webber, the NBA player.   Also, an economist might name his son Rich.   A thief might name his son Robert.  A chef, Stu.  Irene, I said, would be a good name for a diplomat (irenic means promoting peace) - I don't think they understood me, and thought I said "ironic."  And I mentioned how people with A's in their name are statistically more likely to earn A's in school (weirdly).   Well, anyway, it's a mad mad world.  I'm glad I can eat again.

Another fun anecdote:  Dentists are legally prohibited from advertising as 'painless.'   A dentist got around this by changing his name to Painless!   Which reminded me of a story I heard (true?) of a city in China naming itself 'USA' so they could say Made In -.   Ha!

Choice

 Mining the ore of 'or'

this or that (tort!)

  word, lord, forgiveness, forever, for, before, ignored, 

  worthy, support, adore, victory, glory, go forth

a few more, door die:  

purgatory, sorrow, bored, moral, eeyore, sore, corps, core, door, floor, fore, forward, gore, whore, lore, poor, port, quorum, tore, omnivore, carnivore, herbivore, wore, adorn, yore, chore, chortle, spore, explore, snore, pandora, store, score, shore, señor, swore, implore, flor, flora, morph, abortion, portion, extortion, consortium, fort, gory, gorp, torte, snort, dormitory, normal, storm, form, formaldehyde, smores, pork, cork, fork, dork, absorb, Bork, Bjork, Mortimer, Gore, Mork, Worf, Borg, Oort Cloud, Ford, Corvair, New York, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, North, Oregon, Portland, Corvallis, Boreal, Orson, Orville, Gordon, Gorbachev, Rorschach, Forbes, crore, Gormenghast, Mordor, Zorro, sword, snorkel, torque, fjord, sports, shorts, orb, orc, organization, oral, ornery, pornography, orchestra, orrery, torrent, abhorrent, formal, whorl, worm, work, worse, world

ch o ice?

Gravity and Levity

sanity, enmity, purity

The sultan of satan says:

Dominion of demons!

Synagogue of sin!

Loose Lucy loves Lucifer!

The devil, on the level, says:

Satan is hatin’

mephistopheles, coughing

Antichrist can’t cry

But Beelzebub can blubber

Simplicity:

God says, Be Good

Devil says, All Right

Mean Teen

 Maintain the mountain

Moon tunes

Elevation and revelation

Patient patriotic paternalistic pat

Bullish bullshit in the bullpen

compulsion and compunction

Choose your shoes, chuy

Gorillas, gorillaz, and guerillas

six sets of sex, playing sax in your sox, sucks

Ambitious gambits

Elmo listens to emo

Mary hart and gary hart

Panda pandemic pandemonium

Olfactory factory

current rent, apartment appointment

coopetition, splinternet

Cyborgs under a ciborium

True pee, troops, and ops

purse words: persistence, persevere, persecution, pursuit

    persimmons, Henry Purcell, purser, (cat) purrs, person

    perse is a dark greyish blue

    Persephone, Perseus, Perseids, Persepolis

    perseverate, persiflage, purstiverance

    persnickety, impersonation, perspective

Muni and Munich

party nomination and banknote denomination

constitution, institutions, petition, competition, restitution

Sea shells and artillery shells

Venlo and venmo

A nice time in Venice and Nice

A great time at the great lakes

Demotic demonic democratic

Holy yoke at Holyoke

Wore war, and military attire (tire/fatigues!)

     camouflage, and camel flaws

Fear of god, devil’s advocate, apologists

Reality, retired, retarded, reminder, remember

audience, odd E ents, odd events

Tiw / Tyr (two 2s)

Pet a pelt

Refuse refuge?

2 blessed 2b stressed

If you can believe it, you can achieve it

Creating the universe with one verse

Rome and Zion, z on (sleep), amor

Eve and grieving

Seize, See’s candy, holy see, c/sea/si

Daze, days, DAE’s

Is it love or just a feeling

Fall, fell, fill, full, fail, feel, file, foil, foal, fool, fallacy

tender, young, and green (ten, Jung, gr)

Bottom bought ‘em

Greed for green

To go to Togo

compare, communion, community

Bored, unhappy, angry, tired, pensive

ha, home, away

Lonesome in London

Cost of costume, price of rice, damage of rampage 

Wait for achieving target weight

Rare prayer

Ironing a shirt with an ironic iron (have fe)

Progressive Prague, Prague rock

vv, volatile and vulnerable

lawn and ordure, Lon's orders

ballot or bullet

fossil apostle

Tricia's contrition

Jean has the genius gene

join and rejoice with joy

fuck fake folk

camping hiking ur clearly happy

HH his highness, humbled himself

investors and investigators

dental identification of identity, dentin and dent-out

gnc, gas-chambers n crematoriums (sorry)

President 46 (and forensics!)

   about 66% of eligible voters participated (2020)

   1/3 didn't?  why the heck not?

   well, 1.2 million people have died from covid, worldwide...

another 46: Americans throw out 46 million tons of plastic a year.

thinking meditation (never cease praying vs. stillness quiet contemplation)

the moon, 240,600 miles from earth, is 

    moving approximately 4cm / year further away (!)

25 sources of news (....jesus christ)

berkeleyside, yahoo, wikipedia, the onion, twitter, facebook, nyt, economist, foreign affairs, people, mad, cs monitor, utne reader, usa today, cnn, huffpost, Fox News, flash briefing, 1440, Wapo, la opinion, the week, wsj, weird news, sex news.   no longer mad.  sad.

stimulus fun!

wikipedia, joe frank, ridiculousness, standup, music !!

    maybe curiosity stream? 

those whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad 

quos deus vult perdere, prius dementat

schizophrenics live an average of 14.5 years less the non-mad

     "using data from 11 studies, Hjorthoj et al (2016) showed that schizophrenia was associated with an average of 14.5 years of potential life lost.   The loss was greater for men (15.9) than for women (13.6).  Life expectancy was greatly reduced in patients with schizophrenia, at 64.7 years (59.9 for men, and 67.6 for women).  10.1% of all suicides have schizophrenia.    (More likely for young, male, white, and never married).  Up to 40% of this excess premature mortality can be attributed to suicide and unnatural deaths. "

       Or you can turn out to be God, like me (lol), with a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Everyone is mad.  Schizophrenia is universal.  Privacy is nonexistent.  Prayer is telepathy.  That's what I have to say.   Maybe I'm even insanely well, or enlightened, or a completely boring average person, like I was all along, before being gaslighted.  Who knows?  Loco nuts like coconuts.  I know nothing.  I think, therefore I am, I think.  Ha

G-D could stand for "Gravely Disabled"

Thanksgiving for training and treating, time + talent + treasure

eternally nocturnal, for the internally saturnine

amnesty, am nasty

all the daze of my life

christian and creation of chris' chin

dauphin and dolphins

a twink that thinks

phd in peace, harmony, and delight

mal, mercy and love

roam Rome, looking for amor in Roma, and more emo

italy, lay it.   Maura and mora.  Ra, teshara, to share ra.  

rod and staff, 1 and 7, as in 1 and 0, or 7-up 

v's

you really are kind of all

you are the deeply A philosopher

I know what you are - it's crazy, Jesse 

like Santa for adults, (saint Satan?)

elegance of Pelicans

generating ongoing discussion

rules and procedures of rap

intel and injury, and sin

synagogue in sindh province

Portland's compartmentalized comportment

abc, a part of something bigger than yourself, belonging, community

petition, competition, repetition, and Titian

ablation and ablution

agog, ace: anticipation, curiosity, eagerness

stay at home, shelter in place (sh, sip)

murano, pizza

  mucous, urine, orgasm

  pee, jizz, ass

Winnie the Pooh, shattuck, crapulent, dungarees

nirvana- anal nerve, and Anna

sneeze and Santa's knees

I took two cans for toucans

dealing with healing, stealing a ceiling, that reeling feeling

intriguing trees

you snooze, you lose; you sleep, you weep

you drink gin (or zin), you win;  the sin of winning, choosing to lose

Lou's blues, who's news, the bartender's views on booze

Popeye painted an eye-popping work of art

drugs that copy poppies

lambda - what sheeple eat, duh

thin things that think

pies, pandemic-induced economic slowdown

red E, ready, Freddy

secret secretions of secretaries

crucifixion: T and Y.  right, left, feet (ends in T) wrist, too. 

    cross the street, paint

doggerel

doggerland, dogma, endogenous, doge, boondoggle, and Doug 

pup: Princeton university press

ahh, men

tremendously mental men, menial labor, meningitis, mendicant, menace, menology, menopause, mens rea, Mensa, mensch, menthol, menu, mendacious, mention, amen

G

gatorade, guns, greed, good, great, genius

gangster, governor, general, great grandmother, geezus

What up, G?

Gravity, or Down

Gautama, Ganesha, God

god, gold, glory

Gee, ghee, g.i., gi

Church Chat

Sadness and doubt, Sin and distress, Satan and devil, spiritual drink

sin, satan in

south, satan out forever

Inner voice echoes in our hearts

sanctity and sanity

gathered into one, with one voice we acclaim

only say the word (a single word?) (witch one)

disappointment, despair, despondency

everlasting, permanent, perpetual, sempiternal, ever-living

forever and ever, 4 eve, endeavor

A and F, almighty father, fallen asleep

HH, hosanna on the highest, hallowed halloween

   high holy, house/habitation, his/her

Hearts and hands, human

in, inns, sin, iniquity; pain, pa in

pp, Pearl of great price, grant us pee

pbs, pearls before swine

bbc, body and blood of christ

Watchful and wakeful

Faith formation, freedom, forgiveness, fortitude

Forgive, go forth, formation, therefore, fornicate, transformed, forward

Conscience, convict science, alone with god, converts, confess

Humble and contrite (con - trite), concern, content, confidence

bible, parable, humble, rumble in the jungle

double, invisible, impossible

Vampire, redemption (empty red)

im a perv, do Tim om

nec, new and everlasting covenant

bit, body is a temple

sip, souls in purgatory

De-liver us, from evil

dying is gain, dignity, digital

inter, intercede, interruption, interesting, internet

let us, prey

my body, which will be GU for you

HL, house of the lord

church, clear head, clean heart, cannibal hannibal

wow, way of wicked

selves, celebration, sell, cells

H ow, house of worship

exalted, exultation (mad, bad, sad to glad). dad had lads.

pour out my soul, souls thirsting for living god

body, blood, bread (bred, red, read) in pieces I leave you

Chalice and ice, phallus malice, justice, office, police

Image and likeness (IAL)…vial

Listen, list ten, attention, a ten chin

subordination, insubordination, submarine, ordain, nation

homily, family, Emily, Amelie, homely

mom, ministry of mercy, in memory of me

judgements, judge mints (mm, yum), wine whine

Mystery, ministry (mister, try)

FT, forgiving trespasses is a full time job

passing tresses (hair), permanent (perm)

perpetual, prr pet, dedication, cathedral, catholic, cattle

burden, bird den

horse, hoarse, whores, lives and reins

fish, official, selfish, sell fish, shellfish;  mercy, immerse

Sins of the world, sow

grant, gr ant; servant, serve ants; answer; ant I christ, coven-ant

Guppies, grant us peace, give us peace, give up, G up

Lsd, lost sheep, distracted

sheeple, steeple, steep pull, papal people

disciples, at my side (sighs)

bull and gull

lamb of god, apostle, log (and blog), post, holy shit

pods, dolphins, powers of darkness

jc, Jerusalem cricket

shit, sit, sith, hits, this

thyme and season(ings)

minister administers minestrone

single and singing

Challenges and crises

Mass in Macedonia

Word of the lord, ord.   ordinance.  Ford.  Nordstroms.  soared.

sword, ordnance, general instruction, missal

Stewards of nature.  Nature stew.

DC, divinity of christ

power, pow! were

lord, life or death

we give you tanks and prey

worship, war ship; gi, greedy idolator

a round the whirled (rifling)

grace, gr ace, end of time (OT), without end (woe)

BE, 25, Jesus Christ

G's us, generous

hat and tee, hunger and thirst, you knit tee

Flip the Philippians

Fair Pharisees, at the faire

thoughts and words, third world, turd world

Selfless service

source and resources

slave to sin

sun, son

male, malice

hell, well, and El (lord, eternal life), and elle

satan and body and lamb (10s), god is great, gr eat

lamb, lucifer antichrist mephistopheles beelzebub

God is one, unity, unum necessarium, one another

money, my one;  fee, Ephesians;  scoffers coffers, prosperi-T

testimony, money test

bro, broke, brotherhood, okay

bs, bible study, brothers and sisters, blessed sacrament

subs, submit, submerge, subway, subdue, subordination

commit, admit, permit, submit, transmit

ten-der mercy, cos - chalice of salvation, pascal mr. e

Everlasting (boxing equipment)

Pence repents

fragrant offering, peace and unity (p.u.!)

ew, eternal word (incarnate), elizabeth warren

bc, beloved children, before christ, bride of christ, Bill Clinton

heal and soul, heel and sole

Holy Spirit, high school;  have Mercy, on us!

Teshara in our humanity, share goods and talents, in god's life

Larry, lives and reigns, re-

Lara, lives and reigns always

compare, cum pair

card, cardinal

pot, passage of time

vat, can, vatican, viaticum

sorrow, sor Rose

happy are those who fear the lord

angel, clergy, leg cry

er, eternal rest

sad, suffering and dying

remembrance of Rembrandts

wit, word is truth

Wraith faith, wrath

purgatory and Walpurgis night

disturbing turbulence

incense, incensed, scents, sense, sent s

pill, grim; under, standing; re, pose; blame less; re member

saints and santas

LT, lost touch, living temples

majesty, jest

passion, pa sh in

worthy, were thee

mercy, me cry

low, light of the world

aces, grace, peace, embrace, human race

'sup? (what's up?), supper of lamb

sol, slam, islam, chrislam, adore

raise low, hallowed praise

give up, give rise to

example, eggs ample

lay, life everlasting (le)

duv of love, dew and duty, children of light ("starstuff" -Sagan)

live in love, as clu (christ loved us)

unity, unit;   Holy Spirit, spear hole; communion

Timeless truths

across the world, a cross

comfort, come for tea, cum fort

Blessed, bless id

renewed, re nude;  prelude, lewd

resurrection, erection;  passion;  respond, despondent, spawn

ho's Anna, all lay (in) liu of ya

praise and glorify, p raise and (after)glo

Labor, in labor, woman (womb in)

Hour, ow

ah, men

him, hymn

holy mass, have mercy, home, homily

heaven and earth, h + e

honor, on her;  honesty, on nasty

offerings, offer rings

Relationships, lay

obedient, bed

circumstance, cum

Comes in the (name of the lord)

Praise without end

Apostles, possibly a posse, you pos (piece of shit)

bull, bs, bumper sticker, bible study, brother/sister

   possible, gullible (gull y bull)

Divine teaching, vine, tea, I Ching

    Temp-ta-tion (te is tea in spanish)

ray, pray, sepa-ray-shun

prey for you, official

heal, made whole,  heel, hole; feet, feat

Fallen asleep, fall, leap

Charity, chair

presence, presents

Death and resurrection, DR

    Little death, erection

    Dea, eat, res(ervation)

Drink this cup

Jesus said, I am the bread (poet, know it)

Grant us peas, piece, peace, pee

drink gin for gout?

high road, heroin and ecstasy (part of heaven)

lsd, love sex desire

repent and read penthouse

majesty of magi, magic mushrooms

sober with a saber, in cyber world

Lives and lies

humility, military

thanks B2 god

mined-fulness

spirit, spear it

7, 25, Jesus Christ, church, my cock, res-erection

gr - gratitude, grace, grant, greed

chill, children; sacrifice, choice, rejoice

Peacemakers (guns)

iron fe (faith in spanish) 

according, accordion, corps

Poor in spirit, pouring spirits

M and M, meek and merciful

S and M, signs and miracles

Rejoice and be glad, Joyce and Gladys

Hosanna, Anna;  wholly, Holly;  holy, hole E; glory, Lorrie

Joy, Grant, Art, and Hal (be full of joy, art in heaven,

    grant us peace, Hal Load B thy name

alone, a loan

about, a bout

upon, a pawn

Hear here

Princely principles

serve, sir V

You ought to have fought

GOP, god of peace

Abiding love, biden bien

supplication, k shun

freedom, free dumb

mentally sacramental

Take this, give thanks

Silly reconciliation

trade, betrayed

Heaven backwards:  neva, eh?

    Avian (bird-related), evian (water)

birth and death, bad

sustain, stain, saint

Dominion, minions, onions

moment, mo (modus operandi) mint

spirit, spear it (fork), experience

taste, T as TE, haste makes waste

Law, long and winding (rhodes scholars)

Flourishing flowers (fleurs)

Perfect circus

ho ho ho: hosanna, holy, hope, home

A+E, always and everywhere, almighty and eternal

FD, faithful departed

died in mercy, losing sight of (things)

Verse, diversity, adversity, university

Foreign, 4 in

glory, gee lorrie

chaplain, chap lynn

ritual, rich in symbolism

sol, supper of the lamb, spirit of the lord, soldier

sh, strength and healing

salvation, salve

breaking bread, breaking code

pleased with pleas

felt and smelt, sight of site, cited, heard the herd

bless, B-less (amore!)