God, Babbling On

Babblihg, like a brook

3 letters, 1 word, a tetragrammaton (4 letters), always and everywhere, so thus everything and everyone, by many names, from many cultures, historical and present, with many attributes, and the subject of much philosophical debate and discussion, God, god, gawd, and good are taught, prayed to, worshipped, praised, glorified, and feared, throughout the world, maybe even the universe (catholic means ‘universal’).  Religion is a means of becoming enlightened, happy, and good.  God gives meaning and purpose.  God is love.  He (or She) is also a man of war, and a creator, and the answer to prayer, and all-knowing, all-powerful, and requiring your submission.  Law, morality, virtue, and the opposite, evil and sin, are set forth in holy scriptures requiring obedience.  God is the source of learning, wisdom, education, knowledge, life, victory, and even utopian immortality.  Understanding of the light, the truth, the way, imparts immeasurable bliss and happiness and satisfaction and contentment and joy and comfort.  Evil will be vanquished through His power.  Love will find a way.  Any question, God is the answer.

God is the Universe.   Reality is all the god there ever is.  Space and time are infinite, ever larger, ever smaller, here, there, and everwhere, forever and ever, right, left, up, down, forward, back, before the big bang, after a big crunch, in every universe of a multiverse, in every head, in every mind, in every soul, in every body, and every psyche.  God is the Creator, Destroyer, source, destination, guide, and in you, with you, and through you, always and in all ways.  God is both imaginary and real.   Both light and darkness.   True and false.   Love and hate.  Temporary and eternal.  He is what you make of him, what you expect, and everything else, unexpected and surprising.  He is the original genie, the first comic book hero, the first x-men, and has all the superpowers ever conceived.  He can do anything.  God have mercy!  God be praised!  God bless everyone!  His power is mighty and terrible.  He holds your life and your fate in His hand.  Submit, or die.  He can give you anything you desire.  He can also take from you everything, leaving you desolate, with nothing, hopeless, defeated, begging for mercy.   He can sentence you to Hell.   He can reward you with Heaven.  He is not to be trifled with.

He is beyond understanding.  He is infinite, immortal, undying, eternal, always, everywhere, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and -thank god!- good, loving, gracious, kind, beneficent, merciful, compassionate, loving, true, virtuous, understanding, and the source of all happiness, joy, bliss, comfort, satisfaction, wellness, health, strength, power, and reward.  He giveth, and he taketh.  Be one with God, become love, become all, and life and death will blur and blend into enlightened bliss, seeing and knowing and accepting all reality and truth.   May the force be with you, inshallah.   Namaste.  Nam myoho renge kyo.  Om.  Peace out.  Shalom.  And now, may the great master, of all scouts, be with us, until we meet again.  Kumbaya.  Praise be to God!  All glory and honor is yours.  Adios.  In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy spirit, amen.  May the lemon be with you.  And the Great Spaghetti Monster watch over you.  German-Occupied Denmark be with you, as well.

Get On with it, Devil

Genius or Dumb

The ant crawled on Christ’s foot, as he hung on the Cross.

My aunt, a nun, prayed for the ants to stay out of the living quarters

Living quarters? The baby said

Yes, with a living room, the dad said.

Why that’s as weird as SMC high school!   College high school?  Seriously?

No need to go to college, you killed 2 birds with one stone

Is that even possible?  Birds are quick

Vampires and others, quickening your pulse

Pulse nightclub, getting drunk (by an actual vampire, after?)

Real vampires, real niggas, and true love

Whatever

Everybody hates everybody else?

Fuck how you feel.  Stay shitty.  

God made me an atheist.  Who are you to question His wisdom?

Stupid people.   Can’t even say nigger.

Fuck you.

Fucking chess, everything a move, computers calculating everything,

No freedom, nothing but war, and conflict, and hate, and misery

As justice, as karma, as people getting their due, as vengeance,

And as pure sadistic schadenfreude of a stupid society

With attitude

To much to read, to do, to say, to think

No need to do anything

Daily tension between a full schedule

And

chillaxing, doing whatever, maybe nothing

Get smart

Think nothing

Get a degree

Save money, teach yourself

It’s all bullshit

People are just worms, big-brained, with language, and hands, and tools

But eating, shitting, fucking, like every other animal

Demon demon-stray-shun

Fury, fuck everything, everyone, you, and me, too

Stupid souls.  Get outta my face.

Leave me alone.

Dad, sum more to add

 Dad (9), add, dead, daddy (dad-e), as doornail

LWT (10) : Lawrence William Teshara) (779, 5)

Larry T (22, 4)

Mr T (42, 6)

Why Lawrence?  Why William? 77 (died, aged 77)

Jesse Lawrence Teshara: 499: 22: Larry T, Buddha

Troop 14, rah.   Star Wars came out in '77.  

Groucho Marx died the same date (8/19), in '77

random, but why not

Gone to the great big gig in the sky

Heaven, place of no suffering

    Be perfect as your father in heaven is perfect

Hell, place of the dead

(neither) oblivion

dad, dead as doornail

   he's not resting, in peace or otherwise

Alive in memory (red e, aim, fire)

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust

     Gonna keep the ashes, or put them in the ocean, maybe?

Larry Teshara, where will they bury ya?

Obituary 

facebook, resume background info

Slept in, took a shower, ate pizza, Michael made coffee

Texted Sara last night, a few new Hugo pictures on instagram, 

     zoom? Question, lots of funerals are zoomed these days

     I told her dad knew zillions of people

     Her dad Ken died before covid, 2 years ago

     She said she would send you a gift

Dreamed last night of a kid in a black royaneh t-shirt

   Hopefully royaneh won’t burn down

My voice said, ‘your dad IS interesting, jess’

I blogged a bit about dad, nothing to add (dad!) to it, for now

Portland (10) is in the news, every day

Honda Clarity, 560 fires, 2 (simultaneous!) hurricanes, Larry King

     Lost 2 children in 3 weeks, (3 children left)

(other Larry’s, other 2’s), died on 8/19 (HS)

God has your number (!), ?

Told Sara dad has maybe 30 photo albums

  Of royaneh, family, vacations, etc.

And slides!

And boxes of toy cars, for flea markets

I’ve never used eBay

Remember most, trips to Royaneh in yellow vanagon, the feeling as we turned onto the camp road, singing 3 cheers, and the broken door panel, and the time I vomited, and the selling of scout uniforms, and guerneville and cazadero outdoor masses, (and father Murphy), and Murphy’s gulch, and the story about Jerry Brown, (and the trip up with Sara), (and horseshoe tournaments with Troop 14), and… shopping for scout troops (343, 333, 14).   Anyway.

Did 120 pushups yesterday 12x10, (12 sets of 10 repetitions)

Muscularity, and Elon Musk and Larry T (Lawrence Teshara, and Tesla)

dad, domination and discipline, dull and dumb, dorks and dweebs

Melange

 A funky mix

Congested and contested (satellites in space)

Consultation and consent (description of democracy)

Lira / rial / lari (italy, iran, maldives) liar

Red: rapid economic development

History and news and futurism, past, present, and prospective

Metallica and Elastica, Monica and Erica

Black metal and bowel movement and big money

Dizzy at Disneyland, debt and doubt, depression and despair

Cambodian poverty line: less than .93 (93 cents) a day

Sicily: a kick in the dick; asking for an ass-kicking

CR, camp royaneh, Colorado rockies, consensus reality, 

       code red, congressional representation

Muddy waters, making clear, that he wants clarity

The future is bright (the sun will get bigger)

Fell a frigate? fuggedaboutit

Daguerreotype of a dagger

Morphine and other drugs: calm and comfortable

Dr., Dominican Republic, dignity/respect, 

      dietary restrictions, death row, and death rattle

Philo Farnsworth and the Popular Front

resident president's resonance

Commander in chief, chancellor by chance

premier, president, pope, prime minister

Magnates with magnetic personalities

strength, honor, integrity, truth, respect, compassion

black lives matter, black like me - by John Howard Griffin

Ice, justice, malice, cowardice, office

immigration and customs enforcement

inclusion, compassion, equality 

Malcolm X and Malcolm Forbes

harder, better, faster, stronger - daft punk

Eat clean, intelligently

exercise, Texas, and sex

Stop scrolling, start sweating

  Git r done, just do it, get on with it, no time like the present

Mom and madonna

Dad and dog appreciation day

Katy Perry and kitty purry

Bruce Jenner and Jen Brucer

Miley Cyrus and Smiley Iris

Iced tea and thought

fever, cough, shortness of breath, fatigue, achiness

pucinelli, pacelli, pinocchi

Quick question, quietly queer, quickening quicksilver

“long in the tooth” (not a vampire reference), from horses gums receding with age

equity, equality, equanimity, equable

fomo, nimby, icymi, fubar, snafu

bathog, blessed art thou holy omni god

Groundhog Century (!), Groundhog Day, good/decent

Soul rotation, metempsychosis, get out of my face

the dna of my soul, god's body, a modern god

the soles of my shoes/feet, and soldiers, and sole custody

weeping deeply in your sleep, without a peep

  leaping at the sound of beeping

pain, loss, grief

4 concurrent crises: covid pandemic, economic,

                                racial, and climate change

also, there are 560 wildfires currently burning, in California !!!

Church music: heavenly choir

Blue Heron, anonymous 4, and the Tallis scholars

Tuvan throat singing, and the gyuto monks

grief, outrage, despair

Zen emphasizes intuition and meditation

tuition and medication and coming to fruition

the more you light your lighter, the lighter your lighter gets,

   until it's too light to light :-)

great or grating?   tanks and troops

pulse, repulse, compulsion, and impulse

Lebron in Hebron, Manama or Panama?

Of mice and men, flowers for Algernon

Some lists: military rank hierarchy, state mottos, popes, chinese rulers

When choosing between 2 evils, I try the one I’ve never tried before -mae west

sickness, illness, disease, ailments (sida)(aids)

Growth or development, growth or perfection

bias and discrimination is b.a.d.

birth and death, Beginning And enD, beelzebub antichrist devil

big and demonic, "600 pounds of sin" (- GD, dire wolf)

life of the mind, lord of the rings

belonging, possession, property

free or fettered, enslaved, incarcerated, imprisoned (I and I)

friends n family, fossil fuels, french fries, flash floods, firefighters

five fingers, fire and fury, fighting fit, foxy female

rotation and revolution and revelation and evolution and love

apok, apocrypha, and apocalypse

Shenzhen, and Schengen area

harping and carping, factious and fractious

vsad, voter suppression and disenfranchisement

moon men, sedition and subversion, actors and activists

republican convention and respiratory conditions

don't agonize, organize

burgers with Borges

arm wrestling with Louis Armstrong in LA

Gattica and Attica, daft in africa, playing polo with polio

ants in your pants in France

making Titian sign your petition

un poco loco, amazingly crazy, plainly insane

vampire versus verses

cs lewis, cs monitor, coughing/sneezing

   Christian Science, Clive Staples

solutions to pollution, ragin' cajun

same damn food: ham, lamb, clams, jam, and yams

a superior interior

a plot to be shot by a bot at a certain spot,

    having fought to not get caught, flee to be free

souls on the dole

the goal? pole in the hole!

elephant in his element, with a honky donkey

a box of rocks, actual facts, cut in the gut, mudblood

Lincoln winkin', at a sexy Mexican 

magic (and tragic) pelagic act

German worm with the same name

taking back stolen stacks

mbs, mad bad sad

comedian, demon cia

putin, input, poutine, tinpot

Jesus on a unicycle

Putting the Sick in Music

I scum: Death Metal and other darkness, a sick muse

Chamber music (bullet in the chamber), Quartet (war and Tet offensive), Recordings (marine corps), Orchestra (orcs!), CD (seedy), compact disk (calm pact, devil is kill), harmony (harm), rock and roll (getting stoned, like St. Stephen), death metal (deadly metal boxes, aka cars, that roll), drum (murder), beat (beatings), stick (shiv, shank, stabbing), bass (al qaeda translates to 'the base'), axe (guitar), SD (sound, satan and devil), vile and violent violins, strings (string him up, strung out), white snake, fang, poison, rhythm devils, sympathy for the devil, devil went down to Georgia, Black Sabbath, soldier boy, 'satan' on spawn soundtrack, one of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces (Pink Floyd)...

guns n roses, love and rockets, slayer, megadeath, global underground, velvet underground, etc.

twisted sister, hey little sister shotgun

Dead Dad

Larry Teshara, Mr. T,  Dad

My dad, by Jesse Teshara

He used to say “my day, by Larry Teshara” at the dinner table.

He was Mr. T, like his dad before him, (both) before the A-team guy on tv.

We watched red and blue teams on tv together, long before American politics adopted it.

We played Frick and Frack, when I was little.

He would cook up hibachi barbecue, every once in awhile.  And make a special jelly toast dessert.  He made Sloppy Joes.  We went to Giants games.  He taught me to hate LA, and Tommy Lasagna.  He liked Demolition Derbies, so we went to the one at the Dixon May Fair.

I was adopted at age 4.  He picked me up in his black 1930 Model A Ford, named Ozzie.

I don’t know which came first, the car or the singer (Osbourne).

He called me his “Number 1 Son”.  

 He also said, “Only 2 people in the world can call me “Dad”

He was a father figure to many, I guess.

Greg and I both have Lawrence as our middle name.

I was in Cub Scouts, pack 351, the pack started by Larry’s dad, my grandfather, Ben Teshara.

My dad was a Scoutmaster of Troop 351, but disbanded the troop when he left it, which I thought was kind of weird.   

I once asked my dad where he got the story for Murphy’s Gulch.

He said, “that’s a hell of a question.”   That was the only answer.

I confess I used to wonder why grandpa paved over most of the back yard, too.

Anyway,

Blue cards!  Get on with it!  Murphy’s Gulch!  Camp Commissioner.  

The Larry Teshara-Art Sawada friendship grove.

3 chairs for camp royaneh.   The m and m game.  Uncle Zeke.

Troop 351 reunions.  Unlike any other troop, as far as I am aware.

He travelled to Europe, with scouting, too, I think.

He was a Vigil sash member of Order of the Arrow, and won the Silver Beaver, like his dad.

To the end, he did scouting.  He volunteered processing bay area Eagle Scout applications.

I got to be little zeke, and king cairn, and a special kid at camp, doing summer math problems in the chief’s room, hearing him prepare for uncle zeke with the radio in the morning.  He had a file of jokes.  He took his humor seriously.  

He taught me how to drive.  He admired my willingness and lack of trepidation in trying new things, like going to the Scout Jamboree.  

He talked alot.  He could make a joke or a story very long and detailed.

He said he thought of me, when coiling the garden hose.  Kinda weird, but true.  Detail-oriented.  He drove me home after I had my accident.  Chrysler.  Saturn.  Honda.

Uncle Jim confiscated firecrackers.

My dad confiscated a switchblade knife.

I got to play with both.

When I visited my Godfather, Dick Zonca, Larry’s accountant, in Santa Cruz, I experienced a “soul rotation”, what you might hear referred to as “get out of my face”.  No lie.  I kind of became my father.  Very strange.   Soul Rotation is an album by the dead milkmen.  My grandpa, Larry’s Dad, was a milk man.   Which is why I bought my first DM cassette.   Also, I was into Led Zeppelin, and the DM spoofed Physical Graffiti with Metaphysical Graffiti.

Anyway,

Tesla, Lariat trucks, Last Week Tonight, Mr. T, Larry David, PT Cruiser, and Will.i.am.

Even God the Father (lol)

He once said to someone who said, Gawd! “no I’m not”, which was funny.

But he often said “love” on the phone, to me, not just to Peggy,

Which I confess I didn’t feel comfortable saying in return.

He loved and was loved, widely, 

He made a massive difference in the lives of many, many people, in school, in scouting, in my family, and maybe even politics.  He introduced Al Gore before a speech he gave in Burlingame.  He made occasional trips to DC.  He taught all 3 citizenship merit badges (community, nation, world).

He was a drummer.   For “old people’s music”, (to dance to) not rock and roll.  The ratchet we used at baseball games was from then.  We played wiffle ball at the park.  I read some of his books, like Charlie Brown (with the kite wrapped in the tree), or Mr. M (sex tips), or All You Ever Wanted to Know about Sex (but were afraid to ask).   And Black Like Me, which was his favorite book, he said.   I was into a book of Indian sign language, when I was a kid, too.   He read to me, which I loved.  Books like James and the Giant Peach, The Pushcart War, Dr. Boox, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, little golden books, choose your own adventure stories, a book with a hero named Jesse, and of course The Night Before Christmas.  He was a generous Santa.  He got me into collecting aluminum cans for recycling, back before curbside pickup, for money.  He printed up flyers I made to put in everyone's mailbox.   We would go to Reynolds.  I remember the steel 7-up cans.  A guy near Reynolds sold fence windmills out of his garage (we bought one, a chopping lumberjack).  I liked his records of Flip Wilson (the devil made me buy this dress), and Tijuana Brass, and how he transformed the house for holidays, especially Christmas and Halloween.

He bought lots of toy cars and toiletries etc for sale at the San Jose flea market.   We would wake early and get a spot, in the yellow Vanagon, to sell stuff.   If ever I needed toothpaste, shavers, shaving cream, he would have some in storage for me.  Canned soups, too.

He was frugal.  He was good with numbers.  He bought the house he grew up in, from his parents.  He trusted Dick Zonca, my godfather, as his accountant.   He joined the Catholic Church as an adult.  I went to Davis instead of Berkeley partly to be farther away from my parents.  There was a difficult home dynamic.  Mom stretched her arms out like Jesus and dad put his hands on his head making an Eye of Sauron (lol).   I, of course, am crazy.   He got into it with Stephen Heuser.  I saw him get angry at his brother Tom.  I don’t know why he got mad at him, either.  And mom.

He liked sweets, like Ritter chocolates, See’s nuts and chews, it’s it’s, York patties, and peanut brittle.   He really tore into ribs.  Mom says he didn’t like his body.  He wasn’t always obese.  He liked watching Pickers.  We watched an episode together, our last time together.  He “liked watching intelligent people talk,” such as parliament on BBC.   He loved Laurel and Hardy.  He would occasionally turn into a completely different person, in different settings.  It was weird.

He died on 8/19.  H and S are the 8th and 19th letters.  So I think of BHS, where he was principal, for some years.  He went to Lincoln high school, in SF, himself.  He took Chinese there.  I went to one of the dances at BHS :-).   Dad knew a magician, and I got to see how he did all his tricks, when I was young.  Besides Camp Royaneh, our family went to Camp Mather and Mountain Home Ranch.  We played ping-pong.  He was good at it.  I went a bunch of times with him to Disneyland.  We also took a scenic ride on Amtrak to Reno.   I enjoyed milkshakes at Pat's in Guerneville.  He made himself a historian of Royaneh, and took lots of photographs.  We have many albums.  He loved cars.  I went with him to the Harrah's collection, and a couple concours d' elegance.  

He bought lots of flowers for Peggy. 

A friend of his told me he was a mensch.

He had love for scouting, schools, and scalawags :-)

There was kind of a mystique about him never getting a common cold.   Like he was immune.  Like he was a scientific curiosity.   He had the secret.  No need for Kleenex.  But lymphoma got him.  He chose cremation.  I told mom I had no need to see his corpse.

I will miss him.  He will be missed.

Memories, from sitting, in Oaktown

(for Duke):  Walk, eat, walk, eat, walk! 

plus water plants, bring in mail and papers, take out bins, bring in groceries..

A cat stood his ground against Duke, a massive doberman, and won.  Funny.

Another cat ran across the street, leaped onto the roof of a parked car, and caught a bird, bringing it back across, in his mouth.

There was a thunder and lightning storm Sunday morning.  I walked Duke in it, from 5:45-6:15.

We managed to stay dry, just barely.  Epic walk.   Also, petrichor!  

I bought 3 cheese steak sandwiches, and got a free T-shirt.

Noah’s bagels.  They asked for my name, then didn’t use it, which pissed me off.  I get that sometimes people have the same name, but people also have the same order.

I set off the home security alarm.  I armed it with Duke still inside.  I didn’t realize there was a motion detector.  Oops!  I came back inside, and turned it off (phew).

I learned that Ron was a manager for Bob Marley, Bo Diddley, Quicksilver Messenger Service, and others.  I met his son, Eric, and listened to both of them jamming together on guitar.

Susan went to Wyoming to be with horses (with a broken arm).  That sounds like fun.

The house cleaner made me feel like a slob.  The place is immaculate, now.

Ron made me a chicken dinner, and ordered us a delicious spinach and mushroom pizza, and also another meal of takeout chinese.   He says he’s going to give me a book about food.  We didn’t make arrangements about food, and I sort of crossed the line, eating food he was looking forward to.

The thing about Ron and me, is we (almost always) have to repeat ourselves, when we say something to each other.  It gets annoying.  But, whatever.   He’s from New York, and still sounds like it, despite being in California since 1970.

We listened to wprb (from the Echo), with a J Lo dance show on the tv, on mute.  There was a pleasantly surprising degree of synchronicity.  I told him how I was into college radio.  I mostly listen to wprb (princeton), but also whrb (harvard), kzsu (stanford), kcpr (cal poly), wmbr (mit), and kalx (cal). 

I learned that you have to empty the cat’s litterbox, or he’ll go on the floor.  

I surprised a skunk, out by the cat food on the side, but (luckily) didn’t get sprayed.

I’m told there’s a homeless guy who steals their tomatoes from the front garden. 

Genie of Delight

God

All-knowing, all-seeing, omniscient

all-powerful, can do anything, omnipotent

good, beneficent, merciful, kind, compassionate, loving

   Love, it/him/herself

The ultimate superhero

The best wish (for a genie)

If a genie granted 3 wishes:

You’d want to have endless wishes, endless wealth, and endless time

   money, immortality, freedom

   while healthy and well, of course

I’d like to time travel (forward or back), or freeze time, or teleport (spacetime) 

I’d like to be able to turn off pain, instantly heal, and automatically be reborn, if killed

    (at a set time, place, age, and form - ha)

I’d like shit like heroin, true love, combat mastery, and the ability to shapeshift

I could have any body, at any age, such as olympians or professional athletes 

I’d like perfect memory, the time to read all books, and the genius to put it all together

I’d like to be able to survive in space, or underwater, or see in the dark

I’d like to be skilled in all professions, and be in love, always

I’d like to be strong, beautiful, and sane

I’d like to be happy, free from suffering, and comfortable

I’d like delicious food and drink, good books, good music, good sex, massage

    Good movies, good sports games, and a happy family

Good weather, peace, safety, and intelligent people around me

A multiverse, where I could sample different realities

A happy universe

The ability to change the 3 wishes to any combination or package, 

   -to stop one reality and try another- 

x-men/heroes/comic book powers: telekinesis, fly like superman, etc.

maybe just a healthy, non-aging, instantly healing, immortality 

   with rebooting possibility, instead of floating bored in space

    (time travel or Groundhog Day (movie) scenarios) 

    (terraforming know-how, and never-bored spaceship)

    

Maybe I'd like to be a genie, myself.

Or maybe I'd like to just enjoy being myself, as I am, and will be :-)