Update

My Life, Lately

Dog-sitting. Cat-sitting. House-sitting. Just sitting. What up, dawg? The 3-legged cat, Giffen (pronounced Jif'n), is upstairs. Junie is a bitch. Giffen is male. J sometimes bullies G. There are also two stray cats, that linger in the back yard (of indeterminate sex). There's word of a mean cat that sometimes comes 'round, harassing Giffen- and even a raccoon that comes in the dog door (!). Kids have crept in, too, stealing a bike or something. I feed the 4 twice/day, water the plants (indoor and out), take out the trash, bring in the mail; walk Junie daily, let everybody out into the yard a couple times, pick up after them- close the door on Junie at night, so Giffen can sleep on the bed with me (unmolested). The food, for the cats, includes dental treats/ff (fancy feast)/tuna/a blend of two foods; for Junie, a small cup twice/day (is it called kibble?). She'll eat the cat's ff, if you're not careful.  There's 5 water bowls to replenish.  I walk Rilo every weekday (5x/week, at 2p), Fido and Taco on Tuesdays, Kaleb on Thursdays. I also report mail for Michael by text, like a secretary, now that he's changed address.  I check my email, my blog, and have 3 library books (yoga, mysteries, and SSA); I also am looking forward to a Bill Bryson book somebody left on the sidewalk in Oakland. I bought new “hiking” shoes from REI, for dog-walking.  And socks, too.  I met Emily there, who is also a wag walker.  I bought food from TJ's, as well as the arab market around the corner. Sitting, I read, write, listen, and occasionally even watch tv (they only get Discovery??).  Jazz on morning whrb is an excellent way to start the day. My parents are in NY. Teresa and Electra (G and J's owners) were there, too (before FL/Bahamas). And also, it turns out, Erin and Dan (who sent an email with 11 photos of cousin Esme). I'm Uncle Jesse. Augustus and Benjamin are learning potty-training, these days. Sara's dad is dying (cancer), up in Auburn. Tom and Jeannine, in SSF, are getting closer (as are we all). My dad is officially retired, as of today. I wrote Activity Ideas, in my blog (good ideas, for me, too!). I have no plans for 4^th of July. Maybe BBQ at Sara and Pierre's. Here, where I sit (only 1 block away on Ashby) there is Pilates equipment. Sara introduced me to Teresa, who she met through her job at BBT (Bkly ballet theater). I read and edited T's paper for her ballet-instruction class, which was fun (maybe I was too harsh). Sara might drop by and use the Pilates kit. She helped me put on the flea medication on Giffen, earlier. She cuts my hair, sometimes, too. Useful. We trade treating each other to lunch every 2 weeks. Almost a new month: report my income to SSA, pick up 3 bags of groceries from the bfp (pantry). I have (optional) Kaiser group at 10:30am (to noon), Wednesdays (in Oakland). It's called “Graduate Group.” I made new cards (vistaprint) declaring (humorously?) 'God' in large print. Ha. I handed out the older version at group, before. I have like a thousand now, so I should distribute! They're business cards, too (dog-walker). I took off the “single” bit. But I am. I've basically given up on dating, but maybe that could happen, too. Pay for okcupid or match? My id, my libido, my “sexual appetite” isn't exactly “voracious.” But could be, maybe.   Lately, my psyche hasn't been a super-fun place to be. Showers, music, writing, busy-ness help. I always have a humongous list of activities I want to do (thousands of books, for starters).  I'm not much good at yoga and meditation, of late (but they could be really helpful; hopeful). I cancelled the economist, because I want the print edition (to not take up phone space), which Sara said she'd give for my birthday coming up (September! 9/3, like the saab; 46! forensics! Four n six). Also, I'm reading other stuff. The Bryson book is 478pp. The library books are due back soon. I want to read the full corpus of Newbery winners, as well as Bloom's “canon”, in addition to the 1001/501 lists (!). The BAMS series is really fun (Best American Mystery Short-stories). I rarely go to the gym anymore. I want to lift weights, though. I also want to be vegetarian. These things aren't happening. But I could get motivated. Wake up at 4:30a, that sort of thing. Ah, life!

Camp Royaneh

Memories

Dave Firebaugh, Wayland, Greg St. John, Rich Whitney

CR: hiking skill award, canoe base, pool, asst. commissioner, c.o.p.e., rifle range.  collecting brass. Trail rides. Splash in, campfires (campsite, amphitheater), swim meet, mile swim, tote n chip, ultimate, basketball, "rodeo", greased pigs, wilderness survival chicken beheadings, finding railroad spikes, cairns, nature trail, mountain man, white wolf, astronomy hill, capture the flag, syncaris pacifica (unique california freshwater shrimp, endangered, only on east austin creek), murphy's gulch, eagle eye, chief!, peppering, bobo, yellow bandanna, beam me a board, light snack, razor blades in mouth, invisible rocks, mystery tug a war, skinks, round of applause, give 'm the gate, robert service, uncle zeke, little zeke, king cairn, bugle calls, bufongo brothers, and now -may the great master- of all scouts- be with us- until we meet again, goodbye campers, all present and/or accounted for, sir!, chasing down the runaway, firing the cannon, camp bell full of water, fire drill, pumps and pulaskis and shovels, trading post, m and m game, craft strip, carving neckerchief slides, mb pamphlets, it's its, creamsicles, walk!!, announcements, "dis-missed!", climbing redwoods, 3 cheers, 3 chairs, pioneer village, hammocks, footlockers, points, laps, parade field, larry teshara-art sawada friendship grove, bob's bend, tree falling on dining hall, meals at quonset hut, staff village, movies, horse cemetary, chief's room, snail mail, chocodiles, i'm a little teapot, one fat hen a couple of ducks, row row row your boat, my name's quickdraw -if you's can beat me you's pretty good, "I'm JC Penny!", submarine, grand ol duke of york, my bonnie lies over the ocean, topnotcher inky dinky doo, a bump on a log on the bottom of the sea, competition night, gun boats, pearl harbor, roman plunge, zip lines, staff around fire after campfire, astronomy merit badge, blue cards, staff x-mas, pajama day, hat day, push the log away, staff awards/dinner, cub camp, group photo, two!...

list of merit badges i earned/ offered..
making prizes, awards, x-mas (in July) gifts; skits, songs, cheers, claps (e.g. the "watermelon clap"), rangers in trucks/atv's setting up/taking down canvas tents, (un)loading from quonset hut; R-O-Y-aneh, dear Royaneh; gita-rickshaw gita rockshaw..., reveille/taps; there's a monkey in the tree, throwing coconuts at me, make him stop (x4); "waiters", back-lighting of redwoods at end of ampitheatre campfires; hiking plan: drd pat (like dirt path): destination route dates and times permission granted activities along the way, transportation; knots: bowline, two half hitches, square knot, overhand knot, granny knot, clove hitch, timber hitch, sheet bend, fisherman's knot, wrapping and frapping, splicing; rifle target scoring, groupings; archery finger guards and wrist guards; orienteering, true north/magnetic north (somewhere in Canada); passing knives, sharpening axes and knives, paul bunyon, totin' chip, fireman chit, tinder/kindling/fuel; fire safety, campfire radius, woodcarving slides/relief, stump city, basketry chair, c.o.p.e. trust, teamwork, fear of heights; buoys, floats, tossing life preservers, teaching how to swim: kicking, face in water, blowing bubbles, floating: dead man's, backfloat; rubber brick, pants-inflation, running entry for rescue (head above water); sidestroke, elementary backstroke, american crawl, breaststroke; butterfly and dolphin kick; scissor kick and frog kick; holding breath (time, distance); handstands, yelling underwater; cope rope, pfd vests, oarlocks; second-story window, my ding-a-ling, left-handed smoke shifter, teepee joke, Jeff "Drowning" Downing, porcupine quill arts (Rick and Bruce), unicycle, buzzards, cicadas, "sounding hot", cutting down trees for lumber, cairn trail (well worn by end of camp season), green/black/gold cairn boot awards, cairn neckerchief slide, Cazadero gets the most rainfall in California, imagined height of east austin creek, 333 vs. 14 ultimate frisbee rivalry, Jason Pett leaps in goal for frisbee in corral, substitutions;  pointing out constellations for astronomy with a flashlight; OA ceremony, flaming arrows, fire in tree, olawat sakema standing up in middle of canoe, rear rudder, opposite shore,  drumming plastic garbage cans, roman plunge, Nature glen, creek running thru it, 2 trails down to canoe base, no fishing, bulldozer for dams, unique freshwater shrimp (endangered?), drinking sake, dilapidated bridge, railroad remnants, canoe base island, dock, ropes, splash-in; have fun in the sun!  googling the meaning of "royaneh", which tribe?, iroquois for "happy camp", meeting place of tribes, softball between 351 and 14; rodeo, competition night; musical tires, barrel run, quick change dresser, walking with cup on head, egg toss, chocolate pudding; basketball, NRA sharpshooter, making your own arrow, compound vs. recurve bows, fletchings, hunting tip on award; skulling rowboats, naming boats after GD songs, Super Bob, melted gummy bears, flashing traffic light, Tim's stereo (in tent), big knife, mockingbird, molly the mop, weather prediction, Rom; cairn map sheets, doing homework in chief's room, climbing redwoods, cleaning dining hall windows after "peppering".  turtles, skinks, alligator lizards, king snake, gopher snake, western diamondback rattler, scorpions, mosquitoes, brown recluse spider, raccoons, bees, yellow jackets, horses, time a trail ride disturbed a wasp nest, bloop bloop! Yar!  silver beaver.  fell off bunk bed;  chocodiles, it's it, creamsicle, peanut m and m game, trading post, firestarter kit, mb pamphlets, craft strip, woodcarving materials; Tom Teshara, life scout, went to CR; pushed into pool, prank on dad of being injured, Skinks (the band), playing frisbee tambourine, beach boys, endless summer, vanagon, vomiting, selling uniforms out back of van, Dean Kanelopolous shades/shack, damming creek (pond), frogs and toads at night, bucket o' tree frogs, shark fin on snorkeler!, greased watermelon, fish that nibble on your toes, shooting at customized targets, bb guns for cubs, .22 rifles, prone position, rifle competition, "rodeo" , greased pig, announcer dad in hawaiian shirts, olympian at rifle range, parachute-packer at cope, picking up brass casings, Bill Heinze making shotgun shells, chief's room, mail and old photos, phone, jerry brown story, water-striders, coin under trading post deck, black widow spiders, accidental killing of alligator lizards (in sun), searching for scorpions under rocks, capturing a gopher snake, critter of the day, western fence lizards, (stinky) garter snakes, Skink practice, bridge to staff village, hacky-sack circles, baseball game, whistle: buddies!!, buddy board, buddy tags, 1 to 10; using reach poles as sprayers, rubber caps, rubber brick, putting up lanes for swim testing, nonswimmer/beginner/swimmer, diving board, big splash, mile swim, polar bear, source of creek?, little and big egypt, outhouses, cobwebs; 351 reunion bus; cub buses; yellow ac/dc-playing vw bug, cremation of sam mcgee as memorized by Ed Lindquist, uncle zeke, zeke's g/f;  indians in camp! white wolf! earth flag, folding the american flag, pledge of allegiance, "good morning" (hug self, then open arms wide), running laps, inter-patrol point contest,  staff tired by end of sessions, everything up or down, camp on a hill; astronomy hill, capture the flag, gold brick award, up early for "mystery cairn", horse pucky, peach cobbler, bug juice, pumpkin pie, crab feed, gun boats, cereal variety, salad, apples, coffee, pancakes, popping cups, phasing out styrofoam, trays, pancakes, pink eggs, injured sleepwalker, shirts/hats/jackets at trading post, Jack Laws takes a sledgehammer to (now and laters?), family camp, borrowed GD tapes, slippery sash, OA eating raw eggs, brotherhood, royaneh lodge patch gift from dad,  cub scout earning mammals mb, getting stepped on by Greg St. John, Dan playing guitar, clean table, flip benches onto table, family style restaurant dinner, "can i have some - sugar" ;-), hotel california, shine flashlight up down right left at me before campfire, harvesting water from tarp over pit, new cairn on buffrey flat, old cairn removed (hangman's tree), wild turkeys, peacock, boars, yellow-bellied racer, Kodiak (dog), honor box, water fountain, coke machines, critter of the day, archery moving target, scoutcraft tower, shotgun range, clay pigeons, calculating maximum trajectory (for safety), shooting water balloons with surgical tubing, shooting handgun at archery range, deer trails, creeping on deer, ping-pong spitting act (Greg Adams and his bro), blackberries picking/pie, strange pile of sticks (den?) next to archery range, throwing fruit, visiting other troop's campsites/campfires, chapel at Pioneers, old church by canoe base, going to Cazadero for outdoor catholic mass, meal at campsite, peach cobbler (dutch oven), tied up in hammock, graffiti in cabin, big iron 1 and 4 below cabin 1.  horseshoe competition, Baden -powell country, mr. charlie erle fell, Steve got smudgepot wax on face, ye olde clarion, bidaily thunderbird,  dark room for photography mb, yellow bandanna, ferd, frivolity and merriment, slide show, Philmont patches, knots, campaign hats, red vests; LDS troops, inner-city troops, japanese visitors, (retarded?) troops.  quasi-military vs. no uniforms.  douglas firs, redwoods, white and black oaks, redwood sorrel, jerusalem cricket, sword fern, brachen fern, horsetail, cool redwoods wear sunglasses, 3 parking lots, uniforms: shorts, shirt, sash, patches, epaulets, socks, pins, neckerchiefs, honor scout (white);  Mr. Royaneh, (or Ms.), suntan mb, zinc oxide, pushing ping pong balls, swim meet, biggest splash, medical sheets, testing the water, pee turns red in pool!, pool house, scoutcraft tool shed, graffiti.  tents above pool.  bouncing off diving board.  visit with Sara.  choosing between 14, 333, and 343.   Staffer walking back from Guerneville all night?  (Gallagher's?) truck went into e.a. creek?  racing to mexico and back? Outdoor mass in guerneville, too.  grazing at safeway.  assayer (say, look at that ass).  no flashlight up from canoe base, elim grove, yelling at fire station, bats in chimney, redwood boreing beetle, number of campsites, number of cairns, burning bay leaves, new house for ranger, drinking, smoking, stacking milk crates, sliding down hill on cardboard, tomahawk throwing, obsidian chipping, bead necklace, black powder, cable car bell, food fight, git a rickshaw, 17!17! t, r, double o, p.  351.  we've got spirit yes we do, rattlesnake demonstration, good-morning!!, chastised/rebuked for saying "hell" (how the hell are you, was it?) robin praeger runs the cairns, losing hat on trail ride, fire siren and bell, mb sign-ups, sickness, rain, naked guy, bellboard messages, going off property (near rifle range, past falls, past astronomy hill), siesta after lunch...

turning styrofoam cups inside out, 'Cazadero' means 'hunting ground' (cazar is to hunt, cazador is a hunter), gun boats: eat it or wear it, other camps: Oljato, Wente.  Mather, Mountain Home Ranch.  Also, leadership camp.  343 staff meal; inviting staff to sit at your table; Glen O' Heavens; unpleasant first experience with pot;  "goodly tall trees,"  fig trees, bay laurel, black/white oak, sequioa sempervirens (redwood), douglas firs, poison oak, leaves of 3 let it be, borrowing Jack Kilmartin's camera, dad's joke archive/ getting sports news in morning;  audrey kell's "tote", Father Murphy, s.j.'s visit, egret or heron; behind dining hall: dumpster, laundry, bridge, loading dock; Splash-off, in and out of rowboats, suspended-canoe entrance, racks for paddles/oars/boats, 2 man canoe race, staff lounge, Cazanoma lodge, award night, troop 14 rah! (sewage!), who's on first, staff swim, rifle tickets, flags in dining hall, rattlesnake cage in nature glen, feeding with a mouse, don't tap the glass, feeding a fly to a spider, free swim, free boating, free shoot, shower before swim, learning to dive, dunking, noodle sword fight, snorkle/fins/goggles, opening/closing campfires, competition night, awards night, troop campfire night, hamburgers at amphitheater, Dave: chief chief chief!  Chris Dunakin, Brian Heinze.  Have I kept my honor bright? can i guiltless sleep tonight?  have i done and have i dared, everything to be prepared.  swear word compilation for Itsuo Tanaka.  cub camp tie dye.  belly-flop contest.  Jester Jones.  red vines rope.  sign out to leave camp.  Joe Ehrman's write up.  rosebuds and rose thorns.  Stan Altshuler's porn, fitness merit badge, Doug Kapovitch's hat.  dad's photo albums.  corn bread.  sausages and pancakes.  bacon and eggs.  leftover pumpkin pie.  plastic garbage can filled with punch.  fastest mile swim times.  list of cairns/campsites/merit badges and programs. shooting clay pigeons.  mystery cairn.  parachute over handicraft area.  soup-can tennis ball launcher! neckerchief slide collection, trip to sawmill, thistle, pass the lactic fluid of a female bovine, or the dihydrogen monoxide, or the "bug juice".  cook's cabin, oafm aafm, making my own bow and arrow, hunting/eating crawfish (crawdads), poor old blue!, i've got sixpence jolly jolly sixpence!, king of the cannibal islands!, when the dreary hours of winter pass away!, suffocation gentle suffocation...take a hose put it up your nose turn it on then you're gone, softly falls the night of day -as our campfire fades away, from the hills of tamalpais (?), a boom chicka boom (chicka rocka chicka boom!), Get On With It!!!

and so on y so forth! ...

Reminiscing, Remembering

a few memories

I was born (Vancouver, i'm told) a bastard (out of wedlock) and given (forced?) for adoption.

Adopted, age 4, to Peggy and Larry Teshara (social worker, school administrator, resp.)

Mr. and Mrs. Fiji (foster parents), picked up in Ozzy (black 1930 Model A Ford with rumble seat)

Lived in SF, first 380 Monticello (near SF State), then 801 Darien (near St. Francis wood)

blowdart nail tube, polished rocks, goldfish pond, MG (typed up story)

baby brother (Gregory Lawrence) at age 8. born 12-3-79. “conception day” (9 months before)

Big Brother. Uncle Jesse. Jesse's girl. Uncle Tom. Mr. T.

Hennessy. Aunty Christ. Rose is a rose. Sister Christian. Rose's lime juice.

801 is where my dad (he, and my grandpa also, “Mr. T”) grew up (b/w Monterey and Ocean)

corner of manor and darien: “lord” of manor. “gulf of darien (g.o.d.)” (m.a.d.?)

Went to St. Stephen's grammar school, walked/biked to/from (near Stonestown)

recycled aluminum at Reynolds, distributed flyers, onion sacks, can-crusher in alley.

Fence windmills made nearby, lumberjack purchased, placed on fence.

Cub Pack 351 (founded? By grandpa T) (met at Commodore Sloat school) (still there?)

paper clip chains, halloween costume contest (robot), balsa car/rocket derby, scout-o-rama tickets

Troop 14 (CR rival to troop 351, founded by Dad)

night hike, snow/ski trip, trek, SRH, canoe trip, patrol outings (e.g. exploratorium), CR

1985 National Jamboree, patch collection

Made cars, boat (models); Steve Toloski's garage; nerf football; hide n seek; Aptos baseball;

Painted, built blue bmx bicycle (bicycle builder's bible), after yellow schwinn w/ banana seat

stickers, valve caps, purchased blue Oakley grips, rode track at lake merced golf course, big cranks

bicycle won from S-O-R tickets left in front of garage, stolen; sleeping bag, backpack, walkie talkies

bought unicycle at san jose flea market, brought to UCD, CR; sword missing, too.

Mike Nathan's band (drummer) (barracuda), SS class of '85. Irish Cultural Center reunion. Dance.

Led Zeppelin records from Heath White; record collection: given to Harv (Doug Biggert), Sacto:

Phil Collins, Miami Vice, Y&T (red snake art record), Scorpions, Def Leppard,

The Who, Kinks, Bob Segar, Rush, Genesis, Jethro Tull

painted (red, black) soap-box car, with rope steering; down Darien, birthday party toys, e.g. water rockets, homies, parachutists, corgi/matchbox/hotwheels, corvettes; lambo poster; framed boat pics in blue bedroom; dragon bat-shooter; choose your own adventure books; book with hero named 'jesse'.

private investigators, with Miwa Matsuno; misha and mai; basketball in garage, literotica (Anais)

king of the hill, dodgeball, foursquare, benefit run, halloween parade, fighting Crotty, Wong.

(bike) Jumping the dip at Aptos, St. Stephen's; wheelies with Mike Ruane, garage door secret,

Matt Fambrini and Brandon Sargent and Roland Dubai and ginger ale lady and Michael (motorcycle)

Andrini? Steve Toloski's friend (Steve?) Monica Madden. Christine Fuentes. Wyatt. Dirk. Edwards'.

Walgreens, black three on the tree Mercury comet, scratch, church/bar across street, vader-c interface.

Steve Hackney, Dunek, Heuser, Mazzola, Malakis, Pacelli, Pittenger

Me Stuff

Identity, Attainments, and Current Reading list

Who Am I?

there's a lot of ways to answer this question:
my body, my mind, my name, roles I play, what I do
nature/nurture, my dna, experiences, dreams, relationships
virgo, boar, INTJ, single heterosexual
empty, no-self, impermanent
what I eat (plus meds, vitamins), less what I excrete
consciousness, subconscious, operative spells, beliefs
what I read, what i think/feel
a human being, a god, a man, an adult, an ex, a friend
roles: a blogger, a writer, a thinker, a reader, a philosopher
   a dogwalker, a schizo, an audiophile, nature-lover
  an uncle, a son, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, a roommate
  an American, a Berkeley resident, a democrat, pro-life
  poor, but not in debt; comfortable/content
  disabled, crazy, kaiser group member, pursuing health/sanity
  curious, intelligent, news/trivia nut, ymca member

Books I'm Reading (of late)
   none are from my list(s) (!)

Best Buddhist Writing 2004
Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, by Shunryu Suzuki
The Compass of Zen, by ("zen master") Seung Sahn
Don't Feed the Monkey Mind, by Jennifer Shannon, lmft
Authentic Happiness, by Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.
Shrinks, by Jeffrey A. Lieberman MD
The Jesuit Guide to (almost) Everything, by James Martin sj
Geography of Madness, by Frank Bures
Death, by Casey Jarman
Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi
Dave Barry Slept Here (a sort of history of the united states)
The Circle, by Dave Eggers
Straight Man, by Richard Russo
Yoga's Healing Power, by Ally Hamilton
The World's Religions, by Huston Smith
A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson
Attack of the Killer Facts, Eric Grzymkowski
The Best American Mystery Stories, 2016
Atlas
    I just bought one for 8.99, worth $80 new, from the goodwill
   (Oxford, 17th edition)

Attainments

4.0 high school/college preparatory; 1260 sat
Integrated Studies (ucd freshman honors program)
IR (int'l relations) degree, Spanish minor from UCDavis
BSA Eagle Scout
Cal alumni scholarship
Boston College Book Award
SI journalism award
NRA sharpshooter
Wagwalker
Uncle Jesse
top salesman 1980-81-82
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