heel your sole b4u dye

Marcel the Monkey

Once upon a time, there was a monkey named Marcel. Marcel the monkey enjoyed bananas, swinging from tree branches in the forest, and whooping and hollering as loud as he could. He hated all the other monkeys, you see, and wanted to be a gorilla instead. But he was a monkey, and no amount of screaming would transform him into anything else. So he hated himself. A mere monkey!

Then a monk came along, and told him to key to being a monk was thinking of yourself as a monkey. And this was the weirdest thing Marcel had ever heard! A human monk thought of himself as a lower life form? an animal? A chimp? A monkey, no less? Why would he stop there? Maybe he should be an ant! A fly! Or a protozoan! So Marcel threw a banana at him. But the monk was happy, and was not bothered. He cultivated equanimity during meditation just for times like these. He enjoyed being a monkey. And monkeys are known to throw worse things than bananas!

Then Hanuman, the Hindu monkey God, heard about all this, in his heavenly realm, and decided to have some fun with these two. Real monkeys like to play! And as a God, he toyed with people, you see. So he hatched a plan to make Marcel appear glorious and godly to the monk, so he would be worshipped and praised and elevated to the status of a deity, like Hanuman. Then Hanuman could pretend to be Marcel, with riotous results! A switcheroo. Ha ha.

It was late at night, and Marcel and the monk were telling stories at the campfire, roasting marshmallows, of course. A talking monkey, you say? Well, of course. I'm writing this story, and that makes me a God of sorts. I can do that. I can make Gods into monkeys, monkeys into gorillas, and monks into hot dogs! (make me one with everything!) Anyway, as I was saying, they were seated around the crackling fire, watching the sparks rise into the heavens, and feeling groggy at the end of the day, as bedtime neared, enjoying their toasted goo, and pondering each others' clever words. Their eyes got heavy, and they nodded off, into a restful slumber, unbothered by anyone, be it monk, monkey, gorilla, or god. They fell into a state of deep relaxation, dreaming of a magical colorful land completely unlike anything in their earthly experience, full of castles and giants and strange creatures, like apemen and monkeydogs and spidermonkeys and horsefish. Morpheus, the God of dreams (and a friend of Hanuman) conjured up this shared realm, to blur the boundaries between man and beast, and make life more fun for everybody, in the process. A God of light should be a god of enlightenment, too, don't you think? Everybody was everything, in this world, and it was crowded, but it didn't feel full. Whales and krill were equals, here, as were Gods and men, or even Pedro the protozoa with Morpheus Himself! But morning approached, and all good things must come to an end. Back to life, back to reality, back to the forest, where the two awoke to a stranger sleeping nearby, who eventually introduced himself as Hank (who you might have guessed was in fact Hanuman), a forest ranger who chastised them for not being safer with their fire, and doing more to prevent forest fires (Hank was a bear of a man!). But no harm, no foul, as the fire had cooled to ashes, and all the forest creatures sang their praises for another delightful night in the company of the Gods.

So the monkey (Marcel), the monk (who had no name), and the monkey God H (Hanuman, who was undercover in the form of Hank), decided to go fishing for gar in the nearby creek. I see a gar! Said Garcia (which is what the monk decided to call himself). So the three ate. Which kind of made them eleven! (to the elves, anyway, who were not the best mathematicians). And the gar were gar-rrrr-ate! If you have never eaten gar with hot sauce (and monks never leave home without hot sauce), you really haven't lived, they all agreed. They became fast friends. “Marcel, why don't you like your fellow monkeys?” inquired Hank (who already knew the answer) “they seem like nice fellows to me!” Well, they stink, and they throw poo, and they eat bugs, and they never pick up their banana skins, and they're ugly, and not nearly as strong and good-looking as gorillas. Did I mention they throw poo? They throw poo!

You have a monkey-mind, my friend, said Hank, and you should not dwell on the less pleasing aspects of your kind. Monkeys are strong and beautiful in their own way, especially to other monkeys, so it is disturbing and strange that you yourself do not admire those who look most like you! What would you do if you were the God of monkeys, and could shape-shift at will into any form you choose?

You mean like Hanuman? He's a jerk! I asked him to make me into a Gorilla, I asked him nicely, and he didn't do ANYthing. Not one thing! I could be king of this jungle, but instead I'm just a stupid monkey!

Well, I'm sure Gods have their own rules, and changing species seems unnatural, if you ask me, replied H. Some things are better than being a gorilla, though, no?

If I may interject, said the monk... You, Marcel are a unique and amazing talking monkey, and your fur shines like the sun, your eyes sparkle like a brook, and your face appears to me as more glorious even than that of the finest maidens in my village, who I swear are in fact quite comely. I did not notice your true nature until just today, and I am awestruck by your exceedingly wise, bright, and -I must say- superior nature. I would even say you are like as to a God! (Hanuman had cast his spell, you see, on the monk).

I don't want to be a God! I want to be a gorilla! I want to be king of the jungle!!

Poof! Marcel turned into a lion, then ate the monk, just like that, at which all the birds erupted in beautiful song. Hank turned himself into a gorilla, and climbed onto a tree above this menacing lion. Will you eat me, too? I am strong, handsome, and some monkeys think I am the true king of the jungle! The lion, being a cat, was now wily, and decided gorillas might be tasty, he had never eaten one, so he yawned, made like he was going to nap, then sprang on the gorilla unawares a few minutes later, as his guard was down, and found this God's flesh to be truly delectable, unlike as to anything he had ever eaten before, something all lions would be blessed to enjoy throughout eternity, as a worthy sacrifice to the truly royal, regal, kingly, and kind Lion, king of the Beasts, lord of life, love, and all.

Note: I got tired, and created this ending to expedite an early finish. You are free to create alternate endings!

Life

a cereal? a magazine? a 100 years?

Life is Good

Life is good, except when it's bad

unless it's All Good

which is really just a way of saying life is good

instead of a philosophical judgement on Reality-

It's always now

so make now good

here and now, you and me, reader and writer

me, time-travelling into the future, your present

a gift! My words, some of my time, my thought-

readable in less time than it took to write

efficient wisdom transference (transferral?)

unless you knew all this, already

which I suppose is likely

oh well

Life Sucks

Life is pain and hardship and suffering and woe

agony and torment and misery and anguish and despair

and loss. Cruelty and wickedness! Deceit and depravity.

Corruption, rottenness, sadness, depression, oppression

slavery, incarceration, punishment, savagery, terror, anxiety

fear, worry, stress, boredom, ignorance, stupidity-

the mean is mean

the average is enraged

the normal is not moral

and fictional monster Hannibal Lecter, larger than life,

feels really real

And being a buddhist, enlightenment often feels far off

But never fear! Nirvana is here! (hear?)

a mosquito, my libido

the blood is the life?

Music and vampires and movies make evil palpable

in an otherwise boring daily routine

until it all blows up, explodes

like MOAB, or Hiroshima, or the sun, someday.

Time

tick talk, tic tock

thyme keeps on flavoring, flavoring, flavoring, into the future

ha!

Happiness, Revisited

yet again

Happiness

not depressed, sad, mourning

not anxious, worried, stressed

not sick, ill, diseased

not in a rut: variety, excitement

in love, loved, loving; friendships

relationships: equality, acceptance, respect, kindness, compassion
mercy, forgiveness, new beginnings

equanimity, discernment, awareness
peace, freedom, liberty, liberation

alive, awake, aware

strong, healthy, fit, sane, well

joyful, bliss, of good cheer

humor, frivolity, merriment

wine, women, and song

sex, drugs, and rock n roll

smiling, laughing, playing

singing, dancing, playing (music, an instrument)
music (listening): cd's/itunes/pandora/youtube/radio/records

satisfied, content, safe/secure

fun, games, winning

sports, comedy, concerts

drama/movies/tv

exercise, look good/feel good, endorphins

compliments, positivity, appreciation/gratitude

stimulus, naps, meditation
chill out/ veg/ do nothing

food: delicious, nutritious, and fun to eat

go to bed tired, awake refreshed

standup (live/tv/radio), skits (campfires/snl/comedy movie genre), joke (books/websites/friends)

rich, beautiful, successful

travel, restaurants, conversation / new languages

roller coasters, water skiing, skydiving

surfing, mountain climbing, swimming/suntanning

yoga, bicycling, weight lifting / bodybuilding

fly a kite, lawn bowling, big bubbles

billiards, bowling, horseshoes

reading: books, papers, magazines, websites/blogs
museums, libraries, zoos/dog parks

spirituality, community, religion
hiking, camping, birdwatching / horseback riding
creativity, art, ballet, writing, video
invent something, start a business
acting, be someone new, play a role
candy, costumes, gifts, surprise, parties, celebration

The Opposites Of:

loneliness, isolation, alienation
addiction, alcoholism, compulsion, obesity
suffering, torment, agony, pain, hell, misery
war, torture, death, sickness, anguish
adversity, discontent, poverty, disrespect
famine, drought, hunger, thirst, malnutrition, starvation
criminality, vice, sin, wickedness, evil, depravity, abortion
insanity, neurosis, depression, suicide, meaninglessness
cynical, pessimistic, negative; stress, anxiety, worry, fear, terror
ignorance, stupidity, incuriosity, delusion
arrogance, sloth, deceit, animosity, disgust, greed, corruption
slavery, incarceration, hopelessness/despair, giving up
nightmares, horror, ugliness, cruelty, brutality, rape, murder
hostility, spite, malice, malevolence, anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury
revenge, abuse, violence, killing, homicide, assassination, execution

Perfection

Perfection process (exactly the way you are?)

perfect information. (speed reading, book+/day) (internet, libraries)

Perfect body: ideal fitness routine/variety.

Perfect mind: sanity, understanding of psychology

Self-defense mastery (aikido).

Enough money for lifetime of food/shelter/healthcare (no worries)

happiness: for no reason whatsoever, Go Slow.

     Enough sleep, meditation, blogging, naps, and music

     fun, play, laughter, joy, bliss

     relationships: (not hellish) actually pleasant, satisfying.

          friendships, love

Variety!:
travel, restaurants, people, activities, employment, exercise, books

ever-improving, meliorism, progress, betterment, growing wealth

swim, yoga, walking, bicycling, lifting, improving health

nature, hiking, camping; refresh the spirit

-------

always a work-in-progress, in process

            (seeking improvement, closer to -unattainable?- perfection)

God is the only perfect being, by definition.

So maybe I'll get there, making Self = God. 

perfection, like happiness, could be all in your head.

(earned, from life experience; not a (dangerous!) H high short-cut)
making both (self, world) a better place

----
my voice keeps saying "fucking ow" (ad nauseum)
which makes me wonder about the synchronicity of torture with my own life-

but could be 10 (other) things: (literally, sex+pain):
1.misfit (too big, too small), 2.abortion, 3.rape, 4.childbirth, 5.anal sex
and more, i just thought of (writing helps!): 
6.sti/std/vd, 7. broken heart / cheating 8. death of a loved one
9."fuck-king of the world" or 10. fucking out of this world!
also, 11. (sex+pain: Spain)

some related deconstructions-
pain (pa in), own (ow n), world (ow are lethal dose), or (war lethal dose)
owl, hour, down, pow, row, bow, crow, dow, mow, how, who, cow, low, now, sow, tow, vow
bowel, cowl, dowel, foul, howl, jowl, powell, towel,
out, rout, bout, flout, pout, stout, spout
(pane, propane, panel)(hurt -her T)
mao
and so on and so forth, etc., you get the idea!

devil is to lived as dealer ow is to world

The Truth, as I See It

A Mix of Spells

 

I'm an animal, a product of evolution, programmed to survive and reproduce, and simply solving problems of logistics, moving things around, which is all any of us ever really do. We move money and ideas and dogs around, for example, but it's still just things; people are things, bodies (not souls), and we're all going to die (and, in fact, are always dying). That is the reality, and reality is all the god there ever is. God is good, the source of goodness, and we ourselves are the only reality we can ever experience. So we make our own lives good, better, best. We are each a You-niverse unto ourselves. Of course, we fall in love, have sex, have kids, raise families, fight wars, and eventually age, get sick, die and cease to exist, for ever and ever, always, dust unto dust, eternal Oblivion. Impermanence is a fact of life, a law of reality. So do whatever the fuck you want, you only live once. And we're all in the same boat. You are under no obligation to think, say, do, or be anything. And that is a kind of freedom. Of course, there is law and police. Public opinion, courts, judges... So you might want to craft for yourself a good reputation, and live as if you will be rewarded an afterlife of heavenly bliss, that long, unending, heroin high in the sky. And who's to say? Maybe you will. I don't claim to be omniscient, so make up your own mind what spells you want to live under, whether Christian immortality in Heaven, or Buddhist enlightened nirvana until your flame goes out, or atheist certitude in the primacy of self in an uncaring universe, or even an Antichrist or Vampire, feeding off the suffering of your fellow man, or what-have-you. All of the above! I kind of like my current, evolving, philosophy that we're all Gods, bumping universes into each other, and we never die because we were never actually alive to begin with, being composed of non-sentient matter, that gets magically re-arranged by our dna into consciousness, the cooperation of eyes, ears, skin, mouth, nose, and linguistic brain into the stream we think is so special (but maybe rocks or atoms are alive, too; A lot of people think water is conscious...). Well, whatever.

On God's Mind

Do I exist? Do you? Do any of us? Are we all figments of God's imagination? Mm, figs/mints. Is life a dream? Are dreams from the subconscious, Morpheus (the god of dreams) or what? Are we all parts of one consciousness? Is it all good? Is immortality possible? Desirable? Time-travel? Can we all be equally happy (whether a Sudanese refugee, or Bill Gates!)?  We're all in this together.  Can basic need be met for all of humanity? Universal health care? Clean water, nutritious food, shelter/clothing/bedding, sanitation, and peace? I believe security and comfort can be realized for everyone. And there should be libraries and internet for everybody, too, in my opinion. Needless suffering ought to be minimized to as close to zero as possible! And everybody should enjoy life, with love and gratitude and fun and play and laughter, and activities like dating, yoga, aikido, bodybuilding, reading, music, zoos, museums, plays, sports, movies, restaurants, travel, volunteering, massage, and of course television. Jobs should be satisfying and enjoyable as well as rewarding. Prisoners shouldn't suffer. And everybody should get along, no matter what religion, race, country, culture/language, or politics people belong to or identify with. Is reality all the God there ever is? Are we our own realities (a multiverse of You-niverses)?  Is there a being worthy of being called a God? Is he (or she) really omniscient? Or omnipotent? Is everybody me? Can a being who does not have sex be called God, who is love? Is the bible full of shit? Is everyone?

About Me

My Life lately,
by Jesse L Teshara

I sit. I'm sitting. House-sitting, in Oakland, for Sara and Pierre. They, their just-turned 3 y.o. son Augustus, and Pierre's dad, Peter, are in Portugal. I am dog-sitting, for their french bulldog, Poutine, a wheezy, neurotic thing that needs to wear a cone at all times (except of course eating/drinking) because she scratches her face, and compulsively licks her paws, which I'm told could result in amputation. She's a dumb dog to begin with, but she doesn't understand her menace to herself. I walk her 3x daily. I am a professional dogwalker. I walk other dogs, too. I am self-employed, an independent contractor, for Wag! (the “uber of dogwalking”), which uses cellphones and satellites to track your walk's route, in real-time, for the owner to see where you go. At the end of the walk, you write a report and submit a picture of yourself with the dog (you get an extra dollar if you wear the t-shirt and put a bandana on the dog, for advertising). In addition to the route, the report says how far you walked, with a checklist of whether the dog peed/pooped, and if the door is locked. I started with Wag! In March of last year (it's April '17). I've earned $5288.10 from them, so far. I've walked Rilo, Winnie, Sage, Brussel, Orion, Tallulah, Rex, Buckley, Kaleb, Kado, Indy, Zephyr, Louie, Buddy, Peggy, Toshi, Frankie, Tank, Sparkle, Myka, Scruffy, Ulla, LT, Dinosaur, Rutherford, Echo, Abner, Ollivander, Bear, Huxley, Tutt, Moxie, Maple, Paparazzi, Hazel, Poppy, Ray Charles, and Cody (38 dogs), with Wag.

I also walk outside of Wag. Fido and Taco preceded them, and are ongoing, although Taco has cancer and Fido is getting old. They live in San Leandro, and I usually walk them on Tuesdays, after eating a pastor taco or two at Los Pericos, nearby, as part of my routine. So, in additon to Poutine, Fido and Taco, and Kaleb, I walk Junie, who lives a block away from me, for Teresa, the owner who I met through Sara, who uses her home Pilates equipment and used to work with her at Berkeley Ballet Theater. I'm not very good at identifying breeds, so I've omitted that, you may have noticed. 

I listen to music every day. I have an Apple MacBook, and the itunes has thousands of radio stations, in different genres and categories (free!). I like college radio, and I skip around between Cal radio (which is also on the fm airways), and MIT (wmbr), Princeton (wprb), Harvard (whrb), CalPolySLO (kcpr), UCDavis (kdvs), Yale (wybcx), Stanford (kzsu), UCSanta Cruz (kzsc), and gdradio.net (Grateful Dead radio). That's ten, which seems apt (listen!). There's also Clave (in Argentina) and Musique (in France), which are pretty good. Occasionally, I listen to stand-up comedy. I watch very little tv, usually only at the gym or at Sara's. I go to the library almost every day, and usually have more than one book checked out. I have a subscription to the Economist, which I supplement with the daily New York Times, (at the library) and the weekly Christian Science Monitor (online). I get daily news from the Washington Post in my email. I also get daily email trivia, vocabulary, a daily poem, and book excerpts. Wikipedia is fun to surf, and I do, frequently. I have thousands of trivia cards, and the J! Archive (from the tv show Jeopardy) website has, I'm told, enough questions to take up 3 months of my life. My book lists will take even longer (1001, 501, and all the Newbery winners (since 1922). There's also Bloom's Canon, which is a whole other ball of wax. A book a day would take like 5 years, but I'm not a speed-reader, so it will take much longer. I also want to be proficient at Aikido, and do yoga, and bodybuild, while eating (mostly) vegetarian.  I have a gym membership at the local YMCA.  Dating, of course, is in the mix, but I'm 45, and not very motivated. If I can overcome schizophrenia, that would be the best. I'm told it's “chronic, episodic.” So we'll see. I've got a lot going on. 

Will I find a woman and job I love? Will I get better? Will I finish my reading list? Will I have a family of my own? A house? No matter, I'm doing okay as is, as Uncle Jesse to Ben, Declan, Augustus, and Esme. (missing a C). I'm Chuy (Jesus, Isai). I like writing my blog, and I wonder if I can make it into a published book. Between The Secret (by Rhonda Byrne), Think and Grow Rich (by Napolean Hill), and Master the Game (by Anthony Robbins), that might be a good start to an even more lucrative, rewarding career in the future. I won the Journalism award in high school. Maybe I should discipline myself to be a writer. I DO enjoy it! How to be God, lol. Just Be Good! (Just Be). :-)

Weighing in on the important stuff

chips v. popcorn, yoga v. jogging, and cats v. dogs-people?

all good, but
chips, yoga, dogs!

popcornopolis makes some good stuff.
   is there still a jolly time kettle corn?
running used to be fun, but now i'm more into yoga.
cats are fun, but i'm just more of a dog person.
  kittens v. puppies?  ooh, that's hard.

Weird word ward

bunny snowshoes! (buenos noches, good night)
G is us, cry sss (hey Zeus) (happy wholly weak)
eye key dough, thai cuando, carrot tea, jew git sue
uke a wrist, way for, cum union
porch a gal, you knighted stay 8, Q bah
mechanics taco, empty can (can nada) (nada = nothing)

and so on, tbc

How Dogs Enhance Our Lives

this post was requested by my friend Pat

They wag. They smile. They're warm and friendly, and fun to pet. They need you. You get outside more often, and get some exercise. It's humbling (you have to pick up poop). It's kind of a reminder that humans are only animals, too. They can be good with kids, and teach responsibility (a step up from maintaining plants). They can be guide dogs for the blind. They can be rescue dogs, for people lost on mountains, or trapped in fallen rubble. They can track criminals. They can detect drugs. They can provide comfort to people in hospitals. They have a superpower: super-smell, which can be used to find things. They can guard your property. They can bark at trespassers. They can attack enemies. They can be useful in war. And they can love you back, be good for the lonely, and a way to meet people at dog parks or on the street (a better way than smoking, I would say). They can sleep on your bed, and be trained to do things, like sit, stay, roll over, shake, heel, fetch, and even stand. They can be fun to watch, entertaining, goofy. Sometimes they lick your face. They have personalities. They can usually understand more than 100 words. They help the economy, for dogfood, pet toys, veterinary services, and dog-walkers/sitters/boarding. Pets are people, too, right dawg? Going to the dogs, doggone-it, isn't really such a bad thing. Dog is to God as devil is to lived. Hopefully I'm not writing doggerel. Dogs are cool, and that's some of God's dogma. Life's a bitch, and then you die. Woof!

aside:
The FCI (world canine organization) recognizes 339 breeds of dog.  Some are cute, some are ugly, some big, others small (called "toy" dogs), some are used for hunting, others for herding, while others (in asia) are used for food, themselves.  They have health problems, both physical and mental, like humans.  And I've read that some can smell disease (cancer?) through the skin of their owners.  The onion just joked about a dog waiting before eating his dead owner's face.  Some dogs will refuse food after the death of their owner until they die as well (dog suicide).  There's dog racing, and dogfighting.  'movies about dogs' is an interesting google search.   This, too.  There are smart dogs, and dumb dogs.   I've heard about a dog that watches tv.  There was a tv show about 'Dog' the bounty hunter (and Snoop Dogg is now Snoop Lion). (I haven't read my Cat Warren book about dogs yet).  We all have dogs in our mouths (k9's), lol.  

interesting bit o' science:
Are dogs descended from wolves?  "It turns out that today's dog breeds may not have evolved from the gray wolf, at least not the kind of gray wolf that exists today.  A study in the current issue of PLoS genetics suggests that, instead, dogs and gray wolves share a common ancestor in an extinct wolf lineage that lived thousands of years ago."

today

the email to mom n dad

hola

Hernan?  I'll wear my corduroy pants he gave me!

It looks like sunny weather on Sunday, says my phone.

I just signed on for a new walk:

   (30minutes, every weekday (5x/wk), at 2pm, for a tiny dog named Rilo (but not a puppy),

   at the corner of San Pablo and Cedar (a new neighborhood to explore).

Kathie Pham is the owner.  I met her yesterday.  walk's scheduled til end of June.

Busy day, today.  I walked Poutine, Winnie. 

Went to the Social Security office to report last month's earnings.

   ended up being interviewed for an SSI re-evaluation.

   I gave Mr. Loza my tax documentation.

Got the monthly 3 bags of groceries from the bfp (bkly food pantry)

took Bart back (N. Bkly to Macarthur)

I brought a towel to dry off Winnie after walking her.

I did laundry.  took a shower.  texted mit radio (got my comment read on air).

I went to the gym and library. 

did you see my latest blog post, with the dog pics?  RM saw, liked it.

I'm planning on watching Kubo and the 2 Strings (animated movie) on Netflix tomorrow

  (recommended by Sara) (I'll show you the instagram pics of them in Portugal)

I've still got two books of short story mysteries awaiting.  Good stuff!

The Trader Joe's kung pao chicken is fantastic, imo (in my opinion)

A rough couple of days for me recently (symptomatic)

hi to dad.  see y'all Su. 

J

AND

regarding last night's Syria strike, in the news:

my opinion is that all forms of warfare are (or are equivalent to) chemical warfare.

Everything is made of chemicals!

And, why should a killing by sarin or whatever be any more horrific than by a bullet?

a death is a death is a death!  All murder is equally heinous, no matter the mode, imho.

I wonder how much each of the 59 missiles cost.  1.94 million dollars each.  Damn.

It feels good, it's cathartic maybe, in light of the horrific photographs, but I bet the money could be far better spent, in view of alleviating human suffering, by -I got this from mit radio today- getting people out of harm's way, and accepting refugees, until they can be safely returned?

AND

I'm tired of the phrase "going nuclear."  A change in congressional rules is not the same as the horror of what happened to Hiroshima/Nagasaki.

and

Gorsuch: why would he defer to, and want to divine the intent of, ghosts? 

Seems to me everyone has opinions...

a universal natural law?  law and rights are made by humans, and don't inherently exist.

everything in nature is "natural" ! (including anything considered "unnatural" that happens/exists)

"right"

right-brained, in your right mind (the right controls the left side of the body, and the left the right, right?)

correct, true, real;   righteous;   legal right 

rite, write, wright

a boxer's right hand

physically right

politically right (conservative) (a synonym of "politically correct" !!)

DOGS!!

Some photos