atheists going to hell

God weighs in
(the vatican recently corrected (?) the Pope on this)

atheists don't believe god exists
but i bet they believe love exists
if only when "making love"
so probably there's just a misunderstanding
i love myself, which is just another way of making myself god.

but for love to endure, all the time, some help is necessary-
we can all use a little help from our friends (the church),
with our relationships, even if only our relationship with ourselves.
they have an amazing program of spells and hypnotic rituals,
that can make believers out of children, priests, billions of adults,
and couples whose love is maintained and grown in a religious context.

self-reliance might not be enough.
two gods married to each other are bound to have some epic conflict,
unless one or both submit to a "higher power"
god the father (catholic priests are called Father)
looks after/over (altars are usually elevated) his flock of sheeple,
hears confession, offers advice and wisdom,
jokes, and interpretation of the "word of god".
Some people have "high-powered perception",
like the fictional hannibal lecter.
a lector is a reader in the catholic mass, by the way.

the church believes in a postulated (not proved),
preternatural (outside/beyond nature, or highly abnormal),
supernatural, immortal being.
Which is just a way, to me, of saying that all of reality has it's own consciousness.
Reality is immortal, lol.

just as sperm have consciousness, or the fauna in our gut (with it's own dna) does its own thing, there are different "levels" of consciousness: such as shared, heightened consciousness between two people during sex, or a "body" politic, or a colony of ants, or a country at war, or an ecosystem, or a family at dinner, or the way people's conversation intermingles at a restaurant, etc.  Mass is just another communal experience.  Literally.   I think sub-atomic particles have their own kind of life, feeling good or otherwise.  Food can be "crazy good" or "insanely delicious", which can be interpreted madly.

Great food is Gr-eat.  You know what I "mean".  The eucharist is a way of becoming one with the universe.   Jesse, the whole office of the eucharist.  Jesus, lord of hosts.  L or D, life or death.  One piece (third?) of the puzzle that is the trinity.  The universe is infinite (the only thing that is, in fact), so reality is God.  You'll be dead forever.  Wormfood for just a short time.  But just as the "body of christ" is the body of christian believers, outlasting Jesus himself, just as a book outlives its author, so too, they say, souls outlive our bodies.

I don't believe this.  I also don't believe in myself.  God is an atheist, lol.  I actually believe in "soulmates", though. 

To explain,
I'm not always number one.  Maybe god is a rotating position.  Most powerful human.  In high school, I was ranked first in one math test, once.

I consider "God" to be like a vampyr, or vampire, a creature from folklore and superstition, which includes ghosts, angels, the devil, and underpants gnomes.  And santa, the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy.  Only virtually real.  Belief is powerful (and can be contagious, too).   Roles your parents play.  God the Father (priest) plays the role of god, and that's a good thing.  These roles have elements of truth.  If they are believed, they are "true lies" (virtually true).  Put the virtue in virtual, is what I'm saying.  We live to love, so this hypnosis hits home.

The common understanding of a lie is any untruth. lying is to tell an untruth.  But there are two understandings, or definitions, of a lie.  To knowingly tell a falsehood.  A known falsehood.   A statement must be entirely true to be true.

The truth of an assertion depends on its words, and their meaning.  Meaning is fluid, both intended and received.  Something can be true/untrue, for different people?

E.g., "I am a good person"  This is not entirely true.  Kind to one person, cruel to another.   The bible says, "no one is good but God".    Be good= Do good.   Catholics have the sacrament of reconciliation.  It's a good thing.   I'm not a psychopath, so guilt draws me back to God (as other).  "surely this thing is known".   Hell is separation from God, they say.  Feeling unforgiven is a kind of hell.  Incarceration can be, too.  car.  Record.  wreck.  Gnosis.  no sis.  SS, flipped from schutzstaffel (bad) to support system (good).   Sarah Salazar.  The church has forgiven me, so I'm back on top.  God, again (if not holy, divine, sacred: respected and held in high regard).  helled.  wreck-onsillyation.  It, stephen king. I don't think I ever had a soul to lose/sell.   Do hammerhead sharks have souls?  maybe sole, eh?

Going to hell can mean suffering (like stubbing your toe or hitting your head), or causing pain for another, as in "I am going to hell you".   atheism anagrams to hateism.  Heart is hater.  If you're not forgiven, you might get a heart attack!  Don't be a hater.  It only causes pain. 

fun link from the onion about hell

getting organized

my memorial day

aka getting my shit together

exercise: in my room, walk-run-bike on the street, to the park/Y, freeweights or cardio (swim, elliptical, stationary bike).

"good"/"bad" (it's mostly just in your head): right, wrong.
right, left
healthy, sick/ill/diseased
sane, insane (legally) vs. potty, batty, goofy :-)
well, unwell
curiosity/engagement, bored/boring
communication, silence
(words, expressions, idioms, curriculum, teachers, instruction, speech, discussion)

stimulus
people (looks, charisma, sex<)
food, drugs, music, books/mags/paper
meditation, focus, multitasking

feelings
emotional:
sad/depressed/mournful; emptiness, fatalistic, nausea, sense of absurd.
happy, elated, "high", bliss, love-bliss

biochemicals
endorphins, neurotransmitters

Weird Names

of people I've met

Four (1st name)
French (last name), Holland (last), Israel (first)
Koran (first), Sheikh Threatt (full name)
Aka (Nigerian for 'hand of god')
Fire (first), Starfire (last), Siva (first)
Fries (last), Brie (first), Edom (last)
Hennessy (last), Brandi (first)
Duv (duvlaca), Kat (kaitlyn)
'Fish' is a kalx deejay.  Kathy Gill.
I saw a 'mosquito' on tv (dance show), and there's Dog, bounty hunter
There's Apple (gwyneth paltrow and chris martin's kid) and Halle Berry.  
I met a Ramen recently, and a Strawberry, too.
Bear (oso), Parrot, Tiger
Stormy (first)

thankyou God for your god, my god (!?)
thank you, yet no thank you-

happy memorial day!

 jog, jumping
learn, live, love, laugh
music, mating, monkeys, making crafts
relax, rpg's (role-playing games)
sleep, sports
tea, talk

vegan and bacon, both good

Successful Marriage

for Catholics, according to Rev. Frank Pavone
founder, Priests for Life

"In Christian marriage, one's spouse is one's "Number Two" while the only "Number One" is God.  CM.com is laying the groundwork so that in loving God, future spouses may find the only way to adequately love each other."

my interpretation-
If you're in love with life, the universe, and everything, (reality is the only God there ever is) then...
1)anybody will do
2)"Number Two" is Jesus (10,5,19,21,19) (for Frank, anyway)
3)he's making the church the "holy spirit," instead of say, Buddism
(Catholicism is the "only"? way)

I think my way, of two Gods loving each other, is just as good.
Maybe I'm wrong, though.
Things might be better if you're both manifestations of the same God.
I grok!

Iraq War

3/20/03-12/18/11 (at 4:27 coordinated universal time -UTC)

8 years, 8 months, 3weeks
2 presidents (W and B.H.O., from 1/20/11)
7888 U.S. dead (4488 military, 3400 security contractors)
1,455,590 iraqis dead -according to JustForeignPolicy.org

although
wikipedia says 37,405 iraqis dead
(11k invasion plus 26,405 post-saddam)
and
ORB (opinion research business survey/poll) says 1,033,000 idead
and
Iraq Body Count (using wikileak info) says 150,000 idead
(80% civilian)

not killed
51,139 americans injured/diseased/other medical
32,753 americans wounded

aside
360k U.S. vets suffered from TBI (traumatic brain injury)
in A/I (Iraq and Afghanistan)

I wasn't sure what this terminology referred to, exactly, so I looked up
the following (hope it helps):

-"To be hurt is to be experiencing pain It could be physical or emotional. You may feel pain from a bump on the head, a slap on the face, a pinch on the cheek but not actually be injured
-To be Injured means that there is something physically wrong as a result of the event. The injuries might be internal, and it is possible that you may not feel any pain, but there is Still something wrong.
-Wounded implies that the injury has an external component. The skin is broken and there is the presence of blood. Hurts and Injuries do not always require bandages, Wounds ALWAYS do."

Einstein quote:

("senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance...It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder")

War is stupid.

But, I admit, meat is murder, and I'm still a carnivore.

Hitler was a vegetarian.

I know people are animals, but I'm no hannibal the cannibal 
(or albert fish)

Eat the rich is an Aerosmith song, and a 1987 british black comedy film.

y'know, honestly, I wouldn't mind trying barbequed human, if they died of natural causes first.
I give you permission to eat me -AFTER I die-, if you like.

Triune God

I've filled out this form in triplicate

Today, according to the (catholic) priest at Berkeley Newman, is the celebration of the Trinity

23 threesomes:

God, devil, man
heaven, hell, purgatory
father, son, holy spirit
3 nails (jesus on the cross, feet/hand/hand)
faith, hope, love
endurance, character, hope (the consequences of suffering)
oral, anal, vaginal
alive, dead, undead
past, present, future
executive, legislative, judicial
win, lose, draw
me, myself, and I
naked, wholesome, sincere
good, bad, ugly
spacetime, energy, matter
here, there, everywhere
thought, word, deed
peace, love, happiness
liberty, equality, fraternity
veni, vidi, vici
sex, drugs, and rock and roll
eat, drink, and be merry
sun, moon, and stars

"It's All Your Fault"

some a-hole told me that

sanity: it's definitely not!

but, if you suffer this delusion, and the newspaper is pronounce 'noosepaper'
and you've had enough of the litany of horror that is the daily news...
then maybe you have suicidal ideation:

numbers to call:
kaiser oakland, suicide line: 510-752-5000
kaiser oakland, psychiatric emergency: 752-1075, ext. 2
kaiser san francisco, 415-781-0500
city of berkeley Mobile Crisis Team, 510-981-5254
"leave a message on the voicemail.  We check for messages frequently"
also
510-981-5900
"for Quick Service, this number connects you to the Berkeley Police Dept, which will contact the Mobile Crisis Team for you"
TDD 510-981-5799

other N. California Suicide Prevention #'s (24 hours a day)
Sacramento, 368-3111
Auburn, 885-2300
Roseville, 773-3111
Lincoln, 645-8866
 
the national helpline is 1-800-SUICIDE

my blood is not cold.

an interesting link on EXTENDING your lifespan:
(a Ted talk, click this link)

The Pledge of Allegiance

a revised, updated, modern version

I pledge allegiance
to the flag
of the United States of the World
and to the Unity
for which it stands
One Planet
under God (or "over God", if you prefer)
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

(don't worry, I still love America)

what i'm up to

about 6'1...

walking marcel, enjoying my new computer, making friends, reading about aikido (the elements of aikido, greg o'connor), going postal by terry pratchett (humor), the new york times, watching young 'cere on youtube (he has a cd coming out), cardio at the Y, buying a slice of pizza (papa john's), jedi bicycling through berkeley and oakland, thinking about going back to work, trying to be healthy, messaging my brother in thailand, putting up art in my room, and eating TJ and McGee food, too.

B words

"on" my mind, of late

I bike, bart, and bus
bitches, broads, babes
barbie, baby
barbeques, beers, birthdays, babies
body building, big and bad, burly and buff
black and blue and brown
bare, bear
bright, brilliant
bills
 

Julu?

synonyms for sweetheart

ravisher, smasher, stunner, peach, looker, knockout, dish, beauty, mantrap, steady, sweetie
truelove

The Next Big Thing

Page Talk (an app?)

It's this: A service where you could click a key or a button or a link, and your page will be visible to a service that has people who will read that page aloud to you, as if you were on a phone call (so you could say could u repeat that) or (what does that word mean) or (talk slower, or talk faster) or you could buy a recording of what the reader said, if you like the way (he/she) said it, especially.
Some readers might like to work for free, others paid (by hour, or by feedback rating, or -of course- Demand).

I always liked it when my dad read to me as a child, and sometimes it's more fun to hear the cadence of a voice than to be in your head all the time, reading "subvocally" as so many of us do, or being embarrassed by having people watch inexperienced readers move their lips while they read.  Spoken word can be more easily understood, sometimes.

If created, I would like to be credited as the inventor, if not the designer (my tech skills are limited to creating my blog), and hopefully get some remuneration.

What do you all think?  Has this been thought of already?
-Jesse L. Teshara

Out Patient

I have an IOP followup at Kaiser

for 3-4 weeks, MWF 9a-noon, starting F 5-17-13.
I ate a piece of a pot brownie, stupidly, because I didn't keep in mind my first experience with pot (negative: kicking a mattress repeatedly), and didn't know the potency, or what kind of pot it was (indica is mellow, while sativa can make you paranoid).  I'm guessing sativa.  Also, it may have been a factor in causing me to get a diagnosis of bipolar, then schizophrenia (my birthmom is schizophrenic, so I'm genetically susceptible/predisposed) so revisiting the stuff can't be good (for me).  The thc (tetra hydra cannabinol), or as I call it -bubonic chronic- really freaked me out.  It brought back my horrifying nightmarish experience (component, it wasn't ALL bad) in jail and Atascadero State Hospital, where I thought I was going to hell, which was the hell itself. 

Aside (on hell).   The bible says you'll go to hell if you get a tattoo.  What that means is simply that tattoos are painful!  So it's only hellish while they stick the needles in you (unless you're a masochist).  I think it was Milton (Paradise Lost) that said you can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven, it's all in the mind.  Hell in a brownie, you say?  At least it tasted good.

anyway, IOP stands for Intensive Outpatient Program, in reference to the fact that I am "out" of the psychiatric facility (Telecare), and back in the saddle again, so to speak.  The appointment confirmation e-mail says Out Patient, which is a little different.  I am not outside (at the moment), nor am I an out of the closet homosexual.  I suppose I am an outlier, in some respects.

I'm not in, either.  Homosexuality can be defined 3 ways: Identity, Behavior, and Nature (inherent, born that way).  One can meet one, some, or all 3 of the criteria.  That is to say, you can consider yourself to be homosexual.  You can engage in homosexual activity.  Or you can be (a) homosexual.

In my humble opinion, Identity is a delusion, Behavior is like any other behavior (from blinking, to crossing the street, although I personally think anal sex is probably usually -for most people- unpleasant, and somewhat gross, especially if there's fecal matter involved), and Nature is like a congenital birth defect, which should properly be treated with compassion.  I don't think gay sex is "unnatural", because it happens in nature (everything that happens is natural).  I'm not homophobic -gays don't frighten me.  Being gay doesn't frighten me, either.  Unless you're a screaming queen in prison, for example.  Flaming, as they say.  Then you could get raped, abused, insulted, etc.  But acting gay is rightfully feared (as is heterosexual sex, for that matter), with AIDS as a possibility.  Homo means same, so taken literally, I'm not afraid of being the same as anyone else, theoretically.

The terminology, as far as I know, consists of bisexual, gay, lesbian, queer, transgender, and transvestite.   I suspect gays are no more happy than anyone else, despite the term.  The rainbow flag can be a symbol of gay pride, or it can evoke the biblical rainbow as a sign of hope.  There are pitchers, catchers, and versatile.  You can be one, two, or V.  I've read about Jesus as possibly working with the "brown chakra."  I also read online about a ballerina who preferred anal sex.   The three kinds of sex are oral, anal, and vaginal.  I don't consider hand jobs and oral sex to be sex, which I suppose is a view I share with Bill Clinton.

My history includes some homosexual activity (nothing anal, except putting my finger in my ass to see what the hell they were experiencing), living with homosexuals, growing up in San Francisco, watching 3 pride parades there, and reading Catcher in the Rye in high school and at Atascadero, from their library.  I've seen gay porn, and it looks completely boring and stupid and unexciting or stimulating.  A mechanical, passionless process of creating an orgasm.  I've been told I sound homosexual, years ago, by the cook at a room-and-board in Sacramento.  Gary was/is? his name.  I lived in the SOMA (south of market), and had a great orgasm being fellated while being scared of getting AIDS/HIV from Francisco's mouth.  Francesca, who I really wanted, left me in favor of some black guy, at the Cat club.  My best orgasm, I suppose, happened while I was masturbating in my room while thinking of being Bill Gates savaging a woman.  It was an effective fantasy, but not something I would want to actually do, or tolerate by anyone, ever.  I don't fantasize that way anymore.  A bit of personal revelation regarding my id versus my superego, there, if you give any credence to Sigmund.  Freud and fraud are similar words (in English), which I suppose is interesting. 

I am not homosexual.  I don't think they are sick or evil, but I do think they are often victims of the evolutionary heritage of competition between males for females.  The more males that are out of the running in the quest for a woman or women, the better the odds of hooking up.  One thing about Notre Dame University was that they had a 60-40 ratio of women to men (I think, maybe it was the other way around) back when I was applying for colleges, in '89 (I'm class of '89 from St. Ignatius College Preparatory).   ND was my first choice school (I got in), but money was a factor.  SI, interestingly, went co-ed the year after my class graduated (for the following year's freshmen).  I did not have or want any homosexual activity during high school.

In college, David wanted to make me switch teams, I think.  I was writing what I called the "master file" about power and dracula and I don't remember what else/ fuck all / god only knows.. when he came into my apartment because he knew my roommate, Jon Simms, who came out while living with us.  I went to his coming out party.  He (Jon) was Catholic, and went to the Newman center along with me and Erik Beever, my roommate on the lower bunk.  Bob Davis, the physics major, and I assume a physicist now, was the 4th roommate.  I liked Dave, then.  David said I was a vampire.  He called me a vampire.  He turned me on to Anne Rice.  I gave him a Count (Sesame Street) doll.  But I don't drink blood, and I am a humane human being, not a demon or cruel killer.  I truly resent this implication.  I have a dark side, as do we all, I think, but I wonder if my life might have been better if he hadn't labeled me that.  If he wasn't so smart and well-educated and well-connected, as a deputy attorney general for the state of California, I would sue him for defamation of character.  I believe he's fucked up my life.   On the other hand, I collect social security and disability, which affords me medicare parts A and B, and allows me to read and go to the library and the Y and write my blog.  That's my job, I guess, even though I only get 886 bucks a month.  I have a disability: schizophrenia.  The John Carpenter movie, Vampires, says a vampire can establish a telepathic link to his master.  That's what I believe David did.  Then again, maybe I was typing (on my Mackintosh) David's thoughts before I even knew him.  He was already in my head, or I in his, or both.  I think he thought (thinks?) I was (am?) his "soulmate."   Of course, I don't believe in souls (like a ghost inhabiting our body).  I do believe in telepathy, though.   I heard a voice in my head in second grade (St. Stephen's, in SF).  The process is not spiritual, it's physical (which is only a semantic difference).  Like radio or microwaves.  Or maybe entanglement, which Einstein had a hard time accepting. 

In any case, I did some reflection last night, in the spirit of the delphic motto "know thyself,"  and the result is not pretty.   When I asked David if he was afraid of the government knowing about his movie rental selections, (I think) he said they would be afraid of him.  In the same vein, when asked to characterize his psyche, he said "it's ugly".   Anyway, about me.  I've become somewhat asexual.  I masturbate infrequently, and sex itself is a rarity.  Maybe thrice in the last 4-5 years.  Which I guess is unusual, or literally "queer".  I have abnormal psychology, and (thus?) abnormal sexuality.  I'm happy with myself, but unhappy with David in my head.  I rarely have anyone else in my head.  I like it when it's just me.  I've always liked myself -self-esteem has never been a problem.  So I've been bi-curious, but I think, pretty sure, I've answered that question.  Not P, C, or V.   There are four types of male homosexual.  Simply put, I'm not gay (in any "way, shape, or form").  And I like it that way.

I've worn female clothes, of course.  I went to the farmer's market in Davis with a bunch of fellow Newmanites, dressed up in some wacky clothes from their yard sale.  And I've tried on woman's shirt (blouse?), inside my room.  It felt nice.  Sexually, that's almost irrelevent, though, in my opinion.  I don't want to be a woman, although it would be nice to (painlessly!) be able to produce a child, I guess.  I've wanted a kid for years and years, now.   The Jesuit priest who was the principal of SI said I'd make a good dad.  I like kids, I like kid-energy, I like to teach and read to kids, they're fun, and I'm seriously depressed-angry-frustrated-disappointed that I'm always by myself, with this stupid blog as my only child.  I have high school classmates with kids in high school, already.  I'm getting old.  I'm considering being a priest.   A Catholic one.  I don't want to be a virtual "Father", though.  I want a real kid, not a congregation to look after like a shepherd over his or her flock.   Ugh.  I've been to jail.  David called me a "dark agent."  I was charged with a felony (assault and battery, on 3 police officers), and I don't know what my legal status is.  I confess I've been a thief, too.  Starting with candy bars, when I was a kid.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church is utterly ridiculous to me, a heavy dose of hypnosis and spells and madness.  I probably wouldn't be a very good priest. Stephanie, a Catholic I know from college who likes my blog and prays for me, who I made out with, etc. in college, doesn't have a functioning reproductive system.  But I didn't even consider anal sex, back then.  I suppose I should have.

One (God), two (Jesus), three (trinity), four (the book of numbers is the 4th book), five (Christ), six (star of david), seven (Jesus Christ, 7-up -penis-), eight (god), nine (power), ten (say ten, satan)...

2 is also jew, monkey (which has monk and key in it), the two triangles of the star of david, LOVE (between 2 people) (or I suppose, between the individual and "god" (me?) (self?) (dog?)).

 As for what floats my boat, I like teens and blondes and long hair, but mostly if she's into me, flirtatious, wants me, makes the first move.  I believe I prefer brains, but I don't consider anyone i've been with to have been a bimbo or a ditz.  I care, I don't chew em up and spit em out, I don't want to be a heartbreaker, love em and leave em, I'm not a player, I don't have ho's in different area codes, I look for people I can talk to, too.  I don't want a harem.  I want true love.  Compatible, sexy, fun, funny.  Kind, intelligent.  Horny.  Maybe it's time I start being selfish?  Blowjobs on demand, for example.  Rich doesn't hurt. Pro-life.  And, of course, to quote the Sacramento News and Review (you should be getting it once a week!).  There's a fun kalx promo for their daily readings of the daily campus calendar, with a sultry voice saying we give it to you 3 times a day (!).  I want that.  And beauty, of course.  Like Ellen or Maria or Karen, lol.  Or Melanie.  Or Brandi (Buffy).

It can be an intellectual craving, though - I've seen too much porn, maybe, and the addictive sex was way back in college.  I want to be turned on.  Right now, I'm off, lol.  xxx is also 666.  Foxy lady!  Condominium can be misheard as condom in 'em (or condom in 'm).

voices
'all right'
'what's wrong'
'i melted'
'i can't take it'

"Melted" evokes Mel, my birth-grandmother's brother (birth granduncle), and Ted, the website.

I don't make a very good buddhist, either.  But who doesn't like (or need) a little sex, now and then??

Effects of Time

the reality, the word, the concept

decay, aging, senescence, senility, dying, sickness, feeble mind / body, weakening, dependency, death, change, transformation, adaptation, gettting older and wiser, over the hill, under the hill, pasta, out to lunch, time travel, memories, pondering, recollection, remembrance of things past, "life flashes before your eyes."

Abodes

homes and houses

apartment, studio, mansion, cabin, cottage, condominium
tent, tenement, teepee, wigwam, yurt
shelter, ghetto, jail, prison, cells, doorways
outdoors, indoors
world, earth, mars, la-la land

"a house does not make a home"

riff on words

Word up, dog!

talking dogs like aibo, (does goofy talk?), scooby-doo, dog body-language, psychosis

Anyway, I said riff, and that means (implies, entails) actual sentences (not lists!), so I'll describe each category of linguistic construction in poetry, and literature of all stripes, such as stories or essays.  Libraries are collections of books (primarily), but also magazines, music, movies, etc.

a body of language or notes is called a corpus, which sounds like corpse, but libraries are cool and happy places (for me).  You can meet people there, and meet people who have passed on. I don't know about ghosts -they say Tesla had conversations with ghosts...what I meant is that authors live on, in a sense, through their books.  Books are "immortality-projects".  Forget where I heard that.  Might have gotten the terminology wrong.  The reader is also a character, the author's creation, in a way.  Writing is power!  Concepts don't always translate perfectly into words, or even body language.  For example, someone on trial might gulp, but that doesn't mean they're guilty, necessarily. They say learning other languages helps one understand reality better, more tools in the toolbox, that is to say.   The first step to understanding something is to give it a name, the saying goes.  I don't believe that, though.  Words might be, can be, misleading.  Don't believe everything you think!

Words live in different places, lie, are in libraries, include Li, and Lee, can be nonsensical, and have synonyms, antonyms, denotations, connotations, and shades of kinding/meaning.  Homonyms for god's word could be eew (everything ever written), at a loss for words... acronyms, initialisms, sounds, characters, letters, verses, poems, numbers (e.g. the 789 joke), or even things.  People have their own personal codes.  People break hearts.  Is that a koan?  Is the koran a koan?  tmesis! abso-fucking-lutely!
I've gotten ahead of myself: don't forget about nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, articles, prepositions, subject, predicate, conjunctions, and articles <, lol.  Some poetry terminology, most of which meaning I've forgot, include anapest (she's not, and neither is budha), spondee, strochee, verse, meter, rhyme, and lines. Essays have thesis statements, introductions, topic sentences, bodies, conclusions, structure. I used to think essays were s.a.'s.  A LOT of things could be S.A.  Basically, every S word, multiplied by every A word (what number would that be, using the OED? lol)

that might be alot to chew on, kiddies.
all for now.
-me

3 books recommended by a friend:
1) Ficciones, by Jorge Luis Borges
2)El Reino de este mundo, by Alejo Carpentier
3)Nocturno de Chile, by Roberto Bolano
"philosophically powerful and gorgeously written"

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body

Power

or, as Schwarzenegger says, "powah"

authority (political)
electricity, energy, physics
"force"
the police force, crews, gangs, of same mind
strength in numbers, corporations
violence, threat of death, intimidation
money, wealth, capitalism
dignity & respect
love (on the rocks, or on steroids)
beauty, sexual power, s&m, b&d
domination
self-control (can calm your mind, not possessed)
emotions
hypnosis
music
healing, touch, trauma recovery
self-help
strength, size, muscles
development
addiction, "adrenaline junky," endorphins (rushes)
charisma
agreement
media, information, infrastructure, libraries, computers, schools
health, fitness
happiness

Power is also a brand of e-cigarrette, but Panda might be better

lists

Franz Liszt,
Book(s) of Lists, (there are several)
Schindler's List
and the following:

senses: see, hear, smell, taste, touch, intuit/feel
ologies: psychology, anthropology, sociology, theology, gerontology

see: vision, light, color, wavelength (range), roygbiv, red orange yellow green blue indigo violet,
crayons, paint color samples, dictionary terms for colors/ other languages/made up words, drug experience (e.g. swirls), synesthesia

hear:  hearing, sound, music, voices, thoughts, dreams, hallucinations/"voices", waves, ocean, shell sound, movement, contact, echoes, memories
* memories & hallucinations are virtual

smell: olfactory, pleasant, unpleasant, reek, stench, evocative, pungent, intense, strong, incense, perfume, fresh-air, air freshener, food (positive, negative, neutral...)

taste: gustatory, flavor, savory, sweet, salty, sour, bitter, spicy, intense, wasabe (also spelled wasabi), clear (palate), flavorful

touch: affection, intended harm, bumping into things, stubbed toe, massage, sex, shaking hands, grip, "T - ouch!" said Jesus.  "Pain -T" said the painter!

intuit/feel: inkling, spider-sense, premonition, headshock, chestpain, whisper-voice, "the force" , dread, anxiety, performance anxiety, jitters, fright, fear, worry, upset, tears, crying, sadness, sorrow, mad, angry, madness, insanity, orgasm, raped by a ghost, fear of public speaking, phobias, phobophobia, calm, tranquil, sex with a ghost / masturbation, cumming, spike,

"Dark" literature

from the Berkeley library

1)The Weird, a compendium of strange and dark stories (new)
2)The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror (14th annual collection)
3)the elements of aikido, greg o' connor
4)The secret art of pressure point fighting, Morris
5)Box like the pros, smokin' joe frazier
6)The Ultimate Mixed Martial Arts training guide (techniques for fitness, self defense & competition)
7)American Shaolin, Matthew Polly

in other news,
3 movies i have (but haven't seen yet), are
1)Valentine's Day (don't call it VD!)
2)Love Actually, the ultimate romantic comedy
3)The Princess Bride (Nikki's favorite movie)

Books I read as a kid

some

Dr. Boox
The Pushcart War
James and the Giant Peach
Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
Tales of a 4th grade nothing
Prisoner of Zenda
Around the world in 80 days
White Fang
Johnny Tremain
Richard Scarry
Little golden books
Escape from NY -Ben Bova
Chronicles of Corum -Michael Moorcock

all of:
JRR Tolkien
Douglas Adams
Mark Twain

Richie Rich comics
Flowers for Algernon
A mother's tale
choose your own adventure stories
everything you wanted to know about sex (but were afraid to ask)
indian sign language
neuromancer
hammer of the gods
catch me if you can
cat's cradle
1000 years of solitude
house of spirits
anne rice

the lost steps
civilization and its discontents
sand county almanac
spite, malice, and revenge
year's best horror and fantasy

the tech I want

here's what I'm looking for

1)I want a compact, portable device that
-easily switches between online radio stations
(e.g. whrb, wmbr, kalx, kzsu, kcpr, gdradio.net)
-a single button to push to scroll through would be cool-
(i.e. online radio presets)
-as would voice commands- (e.g. "pandora, tallis scholars")
(or "philosophy talk, most recent", or
"joe frank, where I left off" or "continued",or
"newest cirque du soleil videos on youtube")
-with a display of song title, band, album, year
(and i guess label, although I don't actually care about that)

aside: my (apple MacBook) itunes does the presets, so ANyway...


2)automatically muted commercials,
or the option to pay for no commercials
or to select commercials for products i'm actually interested in / in the market for)
(or all of the above!)

3)ALL books, a universal library, available online
a) access to audio books, and/or maybe software that could read to you?
b) and software that translates
(around the world, as well as in jails/prisons)

4)the ability to print my blog (so it's also on paper, in addition to "the cloud")

5) recording ability for online radio, to listen to shows later (e.g. whrb orgies)

all for now

Morton's honey buns

I used to love those things

Bring them back!
(although maybe I've been rescued from diabetes by their absence/discontinuation!)

wicked good, lol