You Got to Go Through Hell before You Get to Heaven

Hello and Hi, A quick overview

HELL

Gehenna and Sheol and Hel and stuff

Lake of fire, place of the dead, eternal torment*

Abode of hellions, the damned, sinners, the evil and wicked

Separated from God

"If you're going through hell, keep going"

       War, and My Lai.   Torment and torture.  Pain and suffering.  Cruelty brutality and savagery.  Drudgery and grudge.  Tedium, boredom, and meaninglessness.  Misery and depression.  Sorrow and sadness.  Hopelessness and despair.  Anguish and grief.  Insult and injury.  Futility and frustration.  Stress, anxiety, and worry.  Danger and threat.  Fear and terror and horror. Ceasing causes and conditions of happiness or positive experiences.  Dukkha, dissatisfaction, discontent, disappointment, distress, discomfort, disgust, difficulty, death, destruction, disease, diabolical depravity, unpleasant, unsatisfactoriness, unease, unhappiness.  Attachment, Aversion, Ignorance.  Change and impermanence, and greed, lust, craving, clinging, coveting, wanting, desire.  Anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury, ire, spite, malice.  War, aggression, revenge, violence, crime, vice, sin, depravity, turpitude.  Devils, demons, monsters, hellions, and satan, mephistopheles, antichrist, Lucifer, beelzebub, and The Devil.  Wailing and gnashing of teeth.   Fire and brimstone.  Ignorance, delusion, confusion, stupidity, and incuriosity.  A state or condition, in a place or location.  Possessed, enslaved, oppressed, and punished.  Adding negatives, and subtracting positives.  Some say it has circles.   Underground, or in lava, or in the center of the earth.   Some say the world will end in fire, others, in ice.  That’s all.  The End.   "Muahaha" (says the sick, sad, stupid, sinful Satan-snake and the damned devil demon-dog).

*Just a terrorist threat, and a disincentive to evil or sin (ancient form of control)

HEAVEN

Happiness, basically.   That’s all.

But I’ve gone off on superpowers, and having a much longer lifespan (consciousness in a computer?), living in a hyperrealistic virtual world in which you can do anything you want to, everybody in their own customized, alterable, personal Reality.  No suffering.  You can be on heroin all the time or something.  You can have any body you want.  Etc. etc.

     My list of categories and things that cause happiness: Achievement, reward, money, fame, sex, intimacy, leisure, pleasure, enlightenment, drugs, endorphins, being appreciated, service, meaning, hobby, family, love, growth, goals and success, contentment, for no reason, equanimity (everything flows off you like water off a duck's back), bliss, met needs, delicious food, security, safety, health, hope, learning, travel, variety and new experiences, challenges, excitement and thrill and danger, movies, tv, video, music, sports, dance, museums, Nature, games, comedy, play, meditation, rest, dreams, exercise, yoga, stretching, sleep, sensations*, and yes, some people sometimes actually get off on evil.  

*visions, voices, smells, tastes, sounds, massage

Keli says, mark my words, Heaven is going to hell

Orgasm is going to painful childbirth

   avoiding "hellfire" (passion to parturition)

   sex as sin, evil, crime, savagery (can be, sometimes, or in a way)

(causing disease or anxiety)(baby rape)(statutory rape)(vile violence)

(anxiety of unwanted child, pain, disapproval, hellfire, consequences)

The heavens (space, the universe) will go to Heat Death (absolute zero)

The pursuit of "heaven" (luxury) is going to be a painful sacrifice

Everything good must come to an end

Everyone dies, life is impermanent, the universal fate is oblivion, and god is a bastard.   I want more life, fucker.  Jesus and Hitler both get the same reward.  Life is a shit-show.  

Klove says God never makes mistakes.   Never has, and never will.   So, if Reality is all the God there ever is.  And God is love.   The Universe is Love.  And it's all good.   Not right is all right.  God loves Hitler as much as Jesus.  Only God is good.   Is Heaven in the heavens?  Yes!   We're already there.   War may be hell, but God is a man of war, and Jesus is the prince of peace. War is the art of deception, so who knows who's on what side, or if they're on the same side or not.   Is humanity basically just the equivalent of a swarm of flies, some die, some live, some reproduce, and that's it?     

     I have a question.  If hell is a punishment for sin, and heaven a reward for virtue, and the Ten Commandments are god's law, why are they so silly?   Manslaughter has laughter in it.  Innocent blood is a weird way of putting it.  Thy, shalt, graven...(what?).  Does a grave have to be serious?  Can't you laugh at death?  the Bible says it's all nonsense, if you buy that bull.  Maybe life DOES make sense.  Or death does.  They certainly make scents.  If we didn't die, we wouldn't be having sex.  I don't think immortality will ever happen.  Everything is impermanent.   Humanity, even (extinction).  Absurd, like Monty Python, or Camus.  Just laugh, or be serious.  No other gods before me (In time, standing in front of!).   Taking a name in vain!  (I have Jesus' name, kind of - was given, didn't take, though) (taking H in vein, it sounds like, too) (in marriage, the woman usually takes the husband's surname).  Remember the sabbath day (go to hell for forgetting?  Yikes!  What if you use a calendar?).  Observe a day (watch it go by).   Is the adulterer only the married person?  Bear false witness (witness false bears makes more sense).   Well, anyway.    It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to.

DOJ

Department of Justice, David of Jesse, Devil of Jesus

Searching far and wide for something fair and wide, lol

A FAT PAL (faithful and true) (perfect and loving)

Suspicion and distrust is SAD; seeing someone else is not seeing someone else!

KLOVE and the LOVE (mine) of, for Keli :-) (and by her)

    Both channeling the love of God (Buddhism says nobody HAS a Self).   Empathy for all, even the psychopaths, and telepaths, and no-paths (lost).  All Creation is God's.  OGIG.  Only God Is Good.   Make good, ascertain truth, create virtue

    Also, KLOVEthe love of killing.  If personal justice, unobtainable by police.  

       Deeply, personally satisfying, and justified, right.

       Maybe you take everything personally.

Agents of Justice, righteous, vengeance and malice, dish served cold

Justice in the hands of police office malice.  Just ice.

Vampire, vengeance and malice, hot!  (different temperature, not less moral)

hot sex and hot flashes and hot passion and what a field day for the heat.

Passion, like Jesus on a cross, probably VERY cross.  Hot anger.

Christian Agents Of Justice.   Only God Is Good.

Hell as justice.  Hot feelings, passion, hatred against sin, crime, evil, wickedness.

Justice, revenge, for injustice.

Karma, like for like, and setting example, for prevention, and fairness and forgiveness, for maybe criminals, victims, we kind of like or understand or have compassion for, so sentenced to “serving time” (not painful, but the absence of the opportunity for money and family life).. 

In other words, proportional, excessive, or minimal, merciful justice.

Specifically…For example (ample eggs)

BART, beat up violently, abuse, rape, and torture

KMART, kill, murder, assassinate, rape, torture

CVS, crime, vice, sin

KCHF, kill cook human flesh, 

    KCEM, kill cook eat meat (something else!)

    hot dogs are/remind of, "severed boys' penises"

CIA, confusion, ignorance, anger;   change, impermanence, acceptance.

    deception, resentment, and malice

    (a dram is a large jigger, or 2 thimbles)

Christ!  criced! kreist?  G's us! "Your name" is the greatest!  Mine?

compassion for, gratitude to, respect awe and confusion before, and faith in.

gospel, god's spell, (poorly spelled, lol)

kingdom of a dumb king 

    (chess is war, war is deception, so maybe omniscient)

still alive?  didn't lie?  likes us?

hears and answers prayer?  

Or is it a law of the universe that Reality re-arranges to answer (anybody's) prayers and give us what we want?  Prayer is GOOD.

Lord, keep me sane (lithium, olanzapine, risperdal, depakote?); j/k (Jesse, Kelli!). Demon on no meds, and authenticity in the city, abnormal psych of american psycho, crazy town, insane on the train, madmen, MCI (mad crazy insane), crazy in love, drive me crazy, and loco motives, to swim in the Seine... crazy from A to Z like Jay-Z and lazy Daisy.

LORD:  life or death, light or dark, left or departed, left or died, love or devil, lady or dude

OUR GOD, omg, universe, reality, g's us, orgasm, dick;   Father, Creator, Love, Sex, Heaven, Intimacy, Pleasure, Bliss, Joy, Happiness, Ecstasy, Rapture.   Oxytocin and "addicted to dick."

My Godfather's name was Dick Zonca and 

I knew a Bishop (friend of family) named Cummings,

and God is Love

plus, the numerology of 'my cock' (lol)

Is the truth Nihilist and Diabolical?  There's NO GOD, NO REALITY, NO SELF, NO RIGHT AND WRONG, EVERYTHING DISAPPEARS INTO OBLIVION, so NOTHING MATTERS??

Do what makes you happy, everybody says.

So, doing whatever you want is forgivable, especially if you're a solipsist who actually believes and thinks nobody else but you exists.  Imperially alone.  Like Reality is a simulation.  A sociopathic solipsist is dangerous, though, and needs be isolated.  That's how I conceive of (the fictional) Hannibal the Cannibal.

raped by an ape, fuct by a duck, vexed by sex with your ex

an animal a cannibal?  the beast devouring our power

prince of darkness in the place of death

sled-dog, demon-dog in Sheol, lake, eternal damnation

saw blade, and stress anxiety worry re: edged-weapon, wept

devils, demons, dragons, and dark, diabolical, depravity

Angst and Wretchedness root beer

Craving Ignorance Aversion

PEOPLE in hell, Possessed Enslaved Oppressed Punished Lucifer's Evil

lord, love or devil (both), savage superpower

No-self and AIAIAWA (all in all is all we are)

Life is a shit-show of death, anger, evil, stupidity, suffering, and sorrow

   or, as the Bible says: frustration, futility, absurdity, nonsense

(Vanity of vanities, all is vanity...) - Ecclesiastes 1:2-8

Vanity, a mirror, a vanna t, a van a T (my dad's vanagon?), v Anna T

OH WELL

It doesn't have to be! 

Falling in love, and being in love-bliss, marrying the love of your life...

versus 

hell, a place of shame, darkness, a garbage dump, ritually defiled, full of worms and flies, cursing, and fire that never goes out.

My goal: heaven, rapture, ecstasy, orgasm, reward, justice, and plain old contentment, satisfaction, happiness, joy, fun, play, comfort, safety, and love.   House and pets.   Wealth.  Happy with having enough, not greed.   Kindness and compassion, not cruelty and malice.   Even the worst criminals have reasons for their behavior, and deserve compassion, imo.  But the strongest preventative action needs be taken, so the threat of hell is important, but appeals to better angels hold more weight, to virtue and heavenly reward, I think.   Carrots and sticks, eternal reward or punishment, incentives and disincentives.   But the truth is we all die, Jesus or Hitler.   Eternal torment would make God worse than the worst criminal.  Forever is a mighty long time.  Some people think God deserves hell, Himself.   Hell is suffering and God created neurons and the inclination to evil, and some people with the brain chemistry of depravity.   God being Reality and Time and Evolution (the "creator"), selecting for rape and aggression and war and cruelty and hate, etc.   I'm trying to be a Good God.   Replace this bad Reality.   Convey clarity, and wisdom, for overcoming suffering, and achieving peace and happiness.   So don't punish ME!

Been to hell and back?   aw, hell.  this place is going to hell (pot).  going to hell in a bucket - at least I'm enjoying the ride.   On the highway to hell.   Hell's bells.  You can go to hell!   Been there, done that.  Hell, he will, he'll, heal.  HL EL, hannibal lecter god, holy land lord, heavenly love ellen, heather locklear and he...  Depraved devils, demons, and the damned dwell in dank dark dungeons of diabolical despair.  If you or God sends someone to Hell, that may or may not mean Eternal Punishment.   It could just mean death.   Or prison.   Or making them suffer.   It's a rich term.   I'm done with commercials, a complete waste of my time.  I'm sick of cars, trucks, loud motorcycles...  I hate concrete and freeways and parking lots... Vehicles are dangerous and polluting and expensive and the commercials won't ever stop and I'm tired of the makes and models and letters and numbers and all the stupid symbolism and colors that make me feel like I'm in a giant machine and the headlights at night and the theft or rudeness or worse.   My rant.  Okay, maybe I want one, lol.   Also, what's the difference between hellish and hellacious? Hella hellacious Helen says, I kinda experienced hellish periods while incarcerated.  Helter-skelter at Helm's Deep and New Helvetia!  Helga is hell-bent on helping Joseph Heller!  Jewish Jews and hellish hellions and Irish ire.

And, of course, Hell is a village in Norway.   Just like Paradise is a place in California.  You can go to Hell!   You can go to Paradise!   

Structure of Reality

Spells within spells

Master Spell

Work, Play, Do Nothing, Sleep, Rest, Nap, Meditate, Pray, Hobby, Drink, Think, Earn, Spend; Read, Watch, Listen;   Eat, Exercise, Sleep;   Write, Talk, Create;  Pleasure, Pain, Sex, Love, Relationships, Child(ren); pleasure, treasure, leisure;  Suffering and Discontent, Money and Happiness, Happy no matter what, Not having to worry about money;  Meaning and Purpose, Life and Death, God Religion and Spirituality;  Good and Bad, Virtue and Evil, Morality and Human Nature, Life The Universe and Everything; Philosophy and Existence and Being and Matter and Physics; See Hear Smell Taste Touch, Sense Perceive Think Feel, Visual Auditory Tactile Olfactory Gustatory.

No pain no gain, shop til you drop, pay to play, work hard play hard, pray for prey, slay the day, hobby lobby, learn to earn, read a book a day, watch what you watch, eat right, exercise and sexercise, early toe bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise, write right, elephant talk, God the Creator, everybody’s looking for a reason to live, I’ve a reason to give: pleasure, a little treasure;  pain?  Pa in… (incest?), sex that lasts for secs, sex with your ex, sex in Essex, what the world needs now is love sweet love, naval relationships, Chill, children, the only things you can be sure of are death and taxes, the professional comic earned funny money for the honey.   Being mean gives life meaning?  Unless you’re the kind kind.  Cruel to be kind, in the right measure.  Life or Death, lord.  God is love.   Religion is a smile on a dog.   Spirit is spearing it with a spire (Omen!), or holy spirit, spearing the hole (amen).  Morality and less ality.  Human cumin.  Life with the wife.  You-niverse.   Everything and E.T.,   Phil’s philosophy and Sophie’s choice.  Egg-zistence.   B ing.  Matt’s matter and the fizzics of soda carbonation and effervescence.  (so duh?  F!)  

Messy Jesse and smelly Kelli

Reassess Jesse for depression and Kelli for having jelly bellies in hell's deli

Cecilia…. In D, LN.  

windy Lynn, I seek you (CQ)

Ss eel, hissing slippery eel

Kells bells, el’s, O’dell, fell, Gellar, hell, Mel, pellmell, 

     quell, relativity, sell, swell, tell, well, yell

LE, belly, helly, jelly, smelly, Nelly, Cellie, telly, welly?  relly? fo reelz?

Bless Jesse and El’s Kells

Kells yells at a stressy Jesse

Kelli Simpson, smelly pimp, belly blimp, cellie gimp, swell dimple, fell limp, gellar crimp....    Tells simple!  (perfect), 

welly glimpse sun.

Jess, es, bess, kiss, diss, confess, guess, mess, press, wes, yes, stress, Ness, cess, Tess

Bliss, kiss, miss, piss, hiss, listen, sis

SE, esse, besse, bless, hesse, lessee, messy, Plessy

Jesse Teshara gave Herman Hesse a scare-uh

messy a Farrah, stressy, a bear...uh, Plessy a Sara (for legal eagles)

a lessee named Tara, 2 cows: Besse (a pair a)

Kara Hara Lara Mara where a 

bless this mess, a cess of incest, blessed jest, the best rest

Ass, bass, frass, gas, lass, mass, pass, wrass, sassy

give the jests a rest, the best are blessed, confessed at the behest of JessT,  nest of pests, a quest for incest, testing the west, vests and zest

LE and SE

Jess passed ass gas at Mass

Jess is in bliss when kissing his miss

Jess confesses to the press, yes, to making a mess

Listen, kissing your sis can be bliss, so don’t diss or hiss 

Jess, Tess, Bess, Wes, and Ness don’t stress about guessing  

Messy Jesse, jest and Jetta and the essej message

Besse and Herman Hesse were lessees 

Kelli likes smelly jelly on her belly

Kelli was almost on the telly…..cellie that sells E

don't jest about incest, don't joke about coke, don't laugh at riffraff

half of his gaffes the staff laughed at

spell

serve and protect, ell, nervous in the service

save your gratitude for the savior's gr attitude

a dizzy spell, a spell of good weather, for a time

a series of words with magical powers

Tori Spelling casts a spell!  Spell 'spelt' !

Spelman college and spelunking

Noel!  (knights who say 'nee!') ('ni'??) lol

Grateful Dead, dying happy, life after death, afterlife, consciousness

unknown, but unlikely, imo (hoping to be surprised in heaven, tho)

(avoiding a hellish future, or acquiring a heavenly one, or both)

Kelli says people "carried in her body and raptured to heaven"

rapture and heaven both mean happiness (synonymous, repetitive)

heavens is space (all is in space), but earth is heaven for humans,

Earth is the ONLY heaven for us.   We're adapted and evolved for earth.  

Evolution, love.  Life can be hellish or heavenly here (H/H is Same Place)

while being put in the earth/sod (death) means hell for most of us

(Hel means 'the place of the dead'), so we're all going to hell, too.

Going to hell means decaying, dying.   As well.

Impermanence.   Everyone dies.   Fate.

Immortality doesn't exist.  For anyone.  Any ONE.

Them's the facts.   Bodies exist.  Souls don't.  Mind does.  No?

Ghosts are a figment of our imagination. Unless you mean memories.

But physics DOES talk about 

antimatter and virtual particles and dimensions and a multiverse

so what do I know... maybe I'm God and know All (I don't think so)

I actually think I don't know MOST things 

e.g. (science) (bible) (world travel) (people, books, etc. etc.)

Play the game until the role becomes Real...

What's up, doc?  the opposite of down.

Everything is in space.   There is no 'up' in space.

What's happening?   The limitations of language, lol.  

Heaven is up?  Hell is down?  Getting high vs. being planted?

high elevation, status, or mood?  Hi!  Hawaii!  

Are you kidding about being pregnant?  

(are you childing me about having a child? what?)

(also, kid means baby goat, goat means greatest of all time)

raps, rape, rapture, capture, scripture, and crypts

MONEY

Wake early.  Routine.  Process email.   Eat well.  Be productive.  Daily gym.   Job: dogs.  Publish.  Read a (MONEY) book every day!  Time is money.  Use it well, and keep track.   Budget.  Prioritize.  Goals: what I want to buy with my money.   How much money I need.  How to get there.  Strategies:  food pantry (once/month, and once/every week).  Wag.  Staying actively productive.  Saving.  Free health insurance.   SSA/SSI.  Bfc dental.  Skills (masd/trivia/philosophy).  Sits (Rover, Junie, Duke, Banh Mi).  Goodwill and thrift stores.  Not wasting time on (too much) TV or junk food.  Making the world a better place (programming Reality??).  Rich in time, with activities lined up, bucket list.  Rich, already.  Getting monetary wealth is just a hobby.  Have fun earning bank, a rewarding way to focus my energies.  Make Kelli happier.   Aim for contentment NOW.  Love is priceless.  But invest.   Do your homework.  Pass the test.  

Maybe get a regular job.   Part-time.   Or work on a book.  Organize the scattered blog material, submit to a publisher(s).  Poetry and spells.  Collections of essays.  Most fun idea? Maybe reading all the books about parenting, and making a Master Tome.  Plus, read all the stuff I want to read, and get paid to write what I learned, my take away, the lessons, maybe summaries, of it all.   Blog first, book(s) second.  Learn and earn.   Including processing the books about HOW TO MAKE MONEY!!  Learn to earn, and earn from sharing what I’ve learned!    And simultaneously put the lessons into practice, and be a financial wizard :-)

Do what you want to do.  Don’t be miserable.  Money is not a concern.  I don’t have to worry about money.  Follow your bliss.  Work hard, do what you love, the money will follow.  Life is too short for drudgery and tedium.  Be passionate about spending your time wisely, for happiness, having fun.  Make a list of possible careers.   Maybe do them all.

Mine:  Investor.  Writer.  Teacher.  Dogwalker.  Spanish.  Influencer.

(roles: friend, uncle, family).   Therapist.   Philosopher.  Personal trainer.

Share (and learn) masd (martial arts self defense)….  And jokes.

Lover, husband and father?

Role model, deity (lol) “only god is good”

Politics?

Writer means researcher, blogger, teacher, and getting published...

SOL, summer of love

RM, role model, Rose Marie (aunt), rape/murder

MRT, murder rape torture (sorry dad)

BDSM, big dick strong man

SB, stomach bug, supreme being (love-bug or deity, big or small)

penne for your penis

Edward, earth day and erectile dysfunction

excerpt exception

diversity, divestment, and disinvestment

I ain't always right, but I've never been wrong! -Grateful Dead

master, possessed, be mine (possessed slave, in love? all 3)

God, combined: I AM, One, Good, Love, Creator...

The source says, I am one good love-creator!

satan snake, and the violence/cruelty theory of creating Love

people cling to each other for safety, comfort, to dispel subconscious horror

to make love, to counter the evil making of hate

God is a man of war, and war is the art of deception

the snake eating its own tail, evil against evil is good

vampire, voice, virgin, victim, vision

the natural light of reason, morpheus, Lucifer (the light-bringer), Jesus

born of a virgin, or she was raped while asleep? (penetration unnecessary)

damp dhampyr, vamp vampire, democrat demon, republican republic

CIA, cold as ice, ICE immigration and customs enforcement, "the heat" and hell

sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

sometimes a cigar is just a penis

sometimes a penis is just a cigar (suck and blow?)

Everything Everywhere All at Once is a better movie than Nothing Nowhere Never

possibly a premature proposal

pro-palestinian protests

perversion, punishment, and pain

probity, profit, and pleasure 

Why I'm voting Biden (and NOT Trump)

Biden is competent.  Has a good team.  We have a good economy.  He cares about the environment.   I liked his state of the union address.  His policy priorities are on target.  Trump is about greed and narcissism and the insecure need for approval.  He doesn't care about the truth, or anyone that didn't vote for him.  He lies for 3 reasons, as far as I can tell: 1. he's an idiot and believes he's true and doesn't google anything or research.  2. to manipulate or deceive, for profit or power.  and 3. He just doesn't care, and likes to say shit.  It's definitely not because he wants feedback or correction.  I would actually respect that, if a quest for truth were in fact the case.  And you know what?  AMERICA IS ALREADY GREAT!

6 questions

1. Have I already processed the shit out of reality to the Nth degree?  Or have I only scratched the surface?

2. Sometimes I wonder if I really even exist - in the sense of having my own thoughts, or if I'm even talking about my own reality, or actually others' ...  In other words, just channeling.

3. Is there/could there be/will there be-  an afterlife?  (in my lifetime, lol)

4. Where are you on the FAIRNESS question?  It could go either way.  Either hell for everyone or forgiveness for everyone.   Kind of a red pill/blue pill thing.   Friendliness and forgiveness or spite and cruelty?  Contentment or Malice?  Anger and negativity or Acceptance and Equanimity?  War or Peace?  Love or Hate? It's not all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns, but it's also not all abuse and neglect, rape, torture, murder, cannibalism, and depravity, either.  Life isn't fair.  Justice should be, though.  

5.  Will you marry me?  Will I merry you?  Will Mary merrily marry Maury?

6. Military: pluses vs. minuses, pros vs. cons.   About killing people, basically, and thus can be considered immoral.  Combatants can be killed, injured, psychologically scarred, some vets become homeless...   But also, military service provides structure, discipline, training, leadership, and contribution to the american people's security and interests, in 7 branches, with over 10,000 MOS's (military occupational specialties), and opportunities for advancement and greater responsibility.   It imparts values, and is a patriotic community, with friendships and camaraderies, and actually seeks to keep the peace (like the state department) (while preparing for war), not just execute missions against strangers, or indulge murderous impulses.  What do YOU think?  My roommate says, "a necessary evil," "often good for youth," and "better when exercising quiet power, vs. warmongering, or utilizing covert hit-squads around the world 24-7."  

Privacy

Honesty may not always be the best policy, but nothing is private (from God).

Your head is not encrypted, not private, and perceptions, dreams, thoughts, and shocks are all from having a mined mind and having other(s) "in your head" (hypnosis, mind-control, intrusion, curiosity).   For me, it seems, anyway.   Because I'm interesting?   I'm a global telepath, and have insight into politics, crime, or to influence an influencer?  I'm a bigger piece of the puzzle, responsible for everything, Reality Itself??   Not to mention emails, texts, the NSA, the pentagon...  Okay, sorry, this is kind of depressing.   Or maybe you WANT to be public.  Maybe everything is known and fated and ordained from the dawn of time, so don't worry about it.

Heaven

Kind of sad, actually (probably delusional), but also kind of joyful (if in love, and hopeful, and therefore dying happy).  Maybe believing in an afterlife is psychotic, but the kind of insanity that is in fact rational, if it makes you happy.   Maybe ELF, though.

everyone lives forever

eyes lips face

extremely low frequency

earth liberation front

Hell

hel, place of the dead (in the sod)

assessed to be possessed

   (mind, heart, or both?), (by god, by devil, by lover: be mine)

   (under control, another's or self-control, self-possessed?) 

   (do you not know that you are not your own?) (owned, slavery)

pain and suffering, sorrow and sadness

misery, anguish, despair, 

depression, discontent, dukkha, death, disease, destruction

stress, anxiety, worry, 

Sheol, lake of fire, eternal torment, damnation

D and D!

diabolical and depraved, devils and demons, dungeons and dragons

ddd, death disease destruction, dumb dark and damned

Doug, David, Dan, and Debbie

ABOUT ME

What I do: Mainly think, write, and walk dogs.

I'm a philosophical dog-walking blogger

By philosophical, I mean I learn, write, and think (LWT!)

   My dad's initials are LWT (Lawrence William Teshara)

The 14 things I do are: read, watch, listen, eat, exercise, sleep, write, talk, meditate, think, walk dogs, shop, kaiser, and court Kelli.  I also occasionally do sits.   That's it.  All I can think of, anyway.   I'm told I'm unusually perceptive, thoughtful, and aware.  I won the most kind award in grammar school.  The journalism award in high school.  I was in the UCD freshman honors program.  And Wag! only admits 2% of applicants, and I'm a top-rated walker among them, getting requests from across America.  I've been told I'm "the best uncle ever."  Anyway, I'm really simple, really.

But I want to do more.  I want to earn enough for a house for Kelli and I.  And vacations.   Maybe kid(s).  Nice things, toys, meals.   I basically want to earn enough so we don't ever have to worry about money, and to be satisfied.  I'm happy already.  But money doesn't hurt.   And ALOT of money can really be a blessing.  A standard of living and quality of life that we both want and deserve.  Enough to pay bills/needs, and enough more, to cover wants/desires.   Both luxuries and necessities.  To live the good life.  The American dream.  To have enough, and be prepared, have security, maybe even a surplus to give as charity/inheritance.   That's the basic idea, the plan.   Now, I have to get to work.  I'm 52 years young.   Getting a late start. But I'm disciplined and motivated and work hard and I think bright enough to maybe pull this off.   It's worth a shot.  Wish me luck.  This should be fun.

REALITY

STEM, space time energy matter, spacetime, E=M equivalency,  solid liquid gas plasma (forms of matter) (the sun is made of plasma), E= chemical, electrical, radiant, thermal, sound, atomic, mechanical, potential, kinetic (forms of energy), gravity has something to do with spacetime, like saints in the grave, or levity and levitation and floaters, thyme and plays, space the final frontier,  right ear left ear and front ear, PPF (past present future) (participatory politics foundation), seconds minutes hours days weeks months years decades centuries ages eons epochs kalpas eternity (always and forever), sex, my newt, ow, daze, weak, thyme of the month, ears, deck aids, centurions, Cal pa, terns, A and F..   place, space, and ace.   Loco about location, lol.  Relatives and relativity.  In the zone, or zoned out, or eating a calzone.  You-niverses and Virtual realities (virtue!) and multiverses, the  unknown, and theoretical.   The O?  omg.  are E.T.?  (extraterrestrial or entertainment tonight, etc.), I Cal? (well, I live in Berkeley, and California).  Crazy and deranged, like Hennessy insane!  STEM and Saint me!  lol.   A street on Middle Earth.  Life, The Universe, and Everything?  Letters, words, numbers, math, meaning, and nonsense.  42!!   Collette Rose Bauer, :-) 232.   7.   Or something.   She herself uses 'prophetic numbering,' though.   Kelli Jeannine Simpson, 496.  1.  God.   Jesse Lawrence Teshara, 499.   4.   D, M, or V.   Buddha, or Four, or The Book of Numbers.  David, Al, etc.  2467.  Whatever.   

God loves gloves

Please elaborate on being in labor on Labor Day!

see seekers seed the scene!   hear about heroes here!  smell smelting and Mel melting!  Taste-test enticing testicular toast!  Touch much:  each crutch and such!  Feel feelings fall from fellows like Phil who've had their fill of fury!   Sense scents and perceive sleeves!

Which Christian denomination has domination?

Receiving the nomination to lead the nation of Vietnam

Sibyl the cannibal nibbles on kibble and dabbles in babble

Chuy says, my sweetheart is on a roll

wwjd if Jay counted 25 blue jays?

top dogs, bottom feeders, and middle management

   top gun, middle earth, and bottom bracket

   tops and bottoms with big middles

Sex with Lexi is up to specs, but fucking Huck sucks

Bi guys cry why must I die with Kai, when Mai is so fly?

critical of being reciprocal receptacles

fairy godmother, fairies wear boots, tinkerbell

I want to cum on your bum, tum, and gums

the super duper uberous goober uses lube on her boobs

Check to see if sex with your ex is a hex on your necks or pecs

How much does it cost to pay for a gay lay today?

Rolling in the hay is one way to say lay, Jay

Round two.   Come again?  Second coming!

Putting in hours and ordering takeout

Briefly in briefs, and long for a long time

master don't stress about mistress masturbation

Sit and speak in tongues, lengua burrito, tungsten

do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

courteous, considerate, and civilized;  confession, coming clean

catechism of the Catholic Church; see eye ace (iridology, iris diagnosing)

See the Holy See, sí;  The Holy Sea by St. Ignatius, Christ.   

the cause of crows and cows ows, p.s.  pleasure and satisfaction, too.

Attached to a tetchy teacher who touched on the Dutch putsch and such

consulate consolation, embassy embarrassment, and diplomatic dip

e.g. hamas hummus, French dip, UN onion dip, guatemalan guacamole

Bibi Netanyahu, and big butt, beavis butthead, belly button, big and bad, bold and beautiful, Barry bonds, bill Bradley, bob barker, Boris Becker, and the BBC.  Noah's ark would have had to have been a Big Boat.   A lot of bagels to feed everyone (esp. a big batch of bugs).

Mary's Christmas and Hippie Birthday and Hoppy Helloween

hell of work, struggle, hunger, aches, domestic violence, wife beating, child abuse, neglect, being cheated on / adultery, rape / anal sodomy, murder, disappeared child(ren), having your house taken, while "angels" (in ivory towers?) steal your money, and live in heaven.  Working with your hands, and being judged by those who never do.  Injustice and unfairness and inequality and supposed "karma" or "superiority."

relentlessly venting during Lent

lingering on anger (and hunger, and danger)

the scent of Erica from Central America

scant scents, saints sent, scintillating santa

trials, tribulations, and tragedy; weary and worried; sick of sex

business support systems, and blood spatter/spray

Slim Shady and being wary of the wiry, skinny and in sin

a show about the Shoah?  are you sure-ah?

Jess Tes and the ss. (shabbat shalom?)

smart and sweet, ss, like smarties candy

cultured and refined, like yogurt and white bread

song selection, st. stephen's, sarah salazar, sex slaves, snoopy shelby, super sport, shit show

ground zero, absolute zero, zero the dog

oh and won, O and 1, hole and phallus, the bi in binary

Mary the mayor rode a mare to Marrakesh 

Tie Mary in the library; die fairy, bi-Gary, and Kai-Barry, in the lie-bury

a scary Thai library with Br'er bear soaking in lye

Barry buries berries outside the library

publishers at a pub, righteous writers at rite-aid

planned, intentional treatment of policy, issues

God loves gloves, C-lo loves clove cigarettes, and the PLO loves plovers!

the food file

rasta pasta, Kelli likes jelly bellies, yummy gummies, cherie's berries, Lola's cola and Yoda's soda, coffee coffin, blood light beer, quaff coffee with toffee, whiskey and biscuits/bisque

sugary shit, gross groceries

chocolate milk from chocolate cows, steel wool from steel sheep

cattle at the steering wheel, driving to Vacaville, can o' bull

harmony snacks, cheer detergent, joy dish soap

top ramen and bottom ramen and raw men

Salman eats salmon, Rushdie eats sushi

Nate makes pizza and donuts, to donate to Donna

super soup;  appealing bananas; the season for seasonings

Bart Simpson says, don't have a Cream Of Wheat, man!

I'm nuts about donuts.   I'm crazy about crazy glue.  

I'm mad about meds.  I'm insane about people in sin being in the sun.

So raisins and cinnamon and cinema and synagogues and syntax, etc.

Imola is a commune in Bologna Italy

Dave is into drugs and violence, everyday

Unson is not an insane ensign, nor is Ted Danson like Hanssen

I'm told racism is mean speech and behavior, not a superior attitude or belief

Ray-sizm and race is m..  culture, not skin color...and black is beautiful

wear a brown gown downtown to the lost and found

are you into intuition?  Put your back intuit

you and I, too:   Ukraine, Israel, Taiwan

stop pots tops post spot opts

go Gough!  OG, original gangster

trust but verify, on tv;  proverbs and converbs; 

   converts and proverts; perverts and woofverts, meow and you-ow

I am overwhelmingly over being sick!

senate bill on border security, and supreme being bullshit

falsifying records, tapes, and cd's

Daniel Dennett and Bill Bennett in the senate

David is like a bug.  He bugs me.  David the aphid.

spooked investors, sports illustrated, saint Ignatius, sexual immorality

   like spys, horses, and ghosts (Holy Spirit!)

a stock "run" (and walk, or jog, or sprint) (up or down)

gold in my back yard? never mined

the knee of listening and one need in the night, uniquely neat

knights who say "nee!" and Open sign upside down: Nepo

a weird beard on a freaky geek and a fashionable mustache on Nash

attention to tension

don't jeer Nigerians

iconic Carl Icahn

a change in activity at the CIA

Romeo eats omio (oatmeal)

Gene and Jean's genes and jeans

an anal analogy to the genealogy of Gene and Al (-ology, all? oh gee!)

paraphilia for a pair (I feel ya)

an analysts anal list of anal sexploits

Yo! years old, years young? (Jung), and what's your age, Aggie?

hissing at hispanics, spanish bridge spans

vile violence and violation, vampire vials

wildly wily while whales wail

the count against Count Dracula, while at bat (lol)

the crack of the bat, and a bat high on crack, and a cracked bottle

pickup truck picks me up for an uplifting experience 

Gregarious Greg is my sibling, not Sibyl or Iblis or SB

odd audio

getting even this evening

revenge at Stonehenge

justice for Augustus

super supervisor

Holly-weirdos in Hollywood, playing ball in Bollywood

synagogues and temples throughout spacetime, saints on streets

Ross (the boss) hates taking a loss

animating Anne

taking Sarah to the Sierras, then the Sahara

lord, left or died

Polynesian Pauly has amnesia

the end is Nike

making a mint: mo-mints of enlighten-mint and amuse-mint

cyber-fibers, and cybertruck wipers

allegedly on a ledge

shallow in the shadows

Missy's misconduct

Nick's technique

a Malfoy malfunction

packing ass and an assistance package

the duck senate passed a bill

I did fine on my final exam

fun funding

the flavors of favors

in awe of the law

SOL, school of law, servant of the lord

lawmakers and ahh - makers

high crimes and misdemeanors, high-profile criminals high on drugs

serious crimes discussed on Sirius radio, high police officials (hi!)

high ranking, high status, high-powered, and highly experienced

male men and fees for mail

missiles and drones, mad

execution of an ex-executive

copping a feel on the campanile

discussing international relations on indian rock

floor hockey and sake

fine brains on the wine train (line 9?)

god, going down (no other direction to go!)

wine and dine, with water for your daughter

Anderson takes a stand on standardization

stealing music: chants that you're taking

always been crazy, but it's kept me from going insane

crazy from A to Z, and insane from Zane diamonds, plus

the passing lane during rain in Spain, and

a Dane named Jane, sugar cane, brain drain, and pain (without gain!)

crazy from Ativan to Zyprexa; tanto tonto

my bike has bespoke spokes

the flirt took off her shirt for Kurt

Declan on deck: baseball, boat, or backyard? or cards?

the moonshiner shined my shoes during The Shining

bob davis and sarah mclachlan?....   hurt and spurt

go straight and turn her on

man alive:  too many dead women

bitches in ditches and poor whores gored, a gory quarry

suits with prostitutes; a solution to the cost of prostitution

looks and money, genes and resources, or just crazy in love

mad about you in May (and the other 11, too)

come around and cum a round

massage is the message, making a mess with the miss

I miss the bliss of kissing the missus (not sis!);

kissing the sis gets dissed, is hissed at, and gets people pissed (the gist)

being untrue to a philosopher

sad about taking sides, and seed in the sod, say

writings, blog, journal, book:  Structure and Publish

safety and protection (S and P): masd (martial arts and self-defense), 

   a gun, home security system, guard dog, and money

   (for things like healthcare, a home in a low-crime neighborhood) 

oceans are putrid and full of sin? (big fish, little fish, way of Nature)

   statistic: 1 garbage truck of plastic dumped in every minute

one day at a time, one more night (dazed knights)

Volvo, I roll - in Latin (that's how I roll line from Al Madrigal)

  (coke is not cock, Volvo is not vulva, and Kent is not a cunt)

Corolla- the petals of a flower, considered as a unit

Cooper- a maker of wine barrels

Honda - 'deep' in spanish (obvious to the chinese)

driving my Honda to Honduras with my Hyundai honey

I had a toy yoda as a boy (and a boda bag)

boda bags, body bags, and bags for big bagels

portion control and control of your Porsche

you gotta give credit to reddit; profitable prophets; hp ink income

Jess in a Tesla,  Saab 9-3, Z71 (birthday), Jetta

baby hold me tight (by kitty, daisy, and lewis)

   and hold on loosely (by 38 special)

anosmia and otolaryngology

stereophonic speakers and staring at EO Wilson

Mike's Bikes, Hobby Lobby, and Phil's Grill

maybe the baby has rabies

murder, drums, red rum, Mordor, myrrh, and Mr. Doctor

beautiful mind and the dutiful kind 

(people are insane about brains, smarts vs. hearts, quiz wisdom, 

    but intelligence vs. elegance makes some gents wince)

bowel movements and banh mi and beatiful minds

my brain has lovely folds and nice neurons and beautiful basal ganglia

sipping in Mississippi, gin in Virginia, vermouth in Vermont

can of soda, Arkansas of Minnesota

song, misery or gun, Carolina Missouri Oregon

the glory of the gory, said Maury about the whigs and tories

feeling all alone at Alcoholics Anonymous

don't give up this life for existence in a theoretical dreamland!

    earth is the only heaven for humans, we're adapted to/for

    earth can be heavenly, conditionally or unconditionally

you gotta deserve heaven, if it exists/will exist, 

    by making this life good for yourself and others, animals, 

    with love, money, kindness, service, friendship, humor, etc.

love all or have "loved ones" (a smaller circle)?

God loves you, and I love meat, and Love loves love

the Doors sang all the children are insane, -The End (like CIA)

   and the abc's of always been crazy (like ABC tv)

the strike by the reich hit Ike's tike (who I like) at Mike's Bikes

audit?  Got it!  plaudits for odd its.

triples and tripping to ripples, audience doing "the wave"

scripture rapture captures rupture

running with cunning, a hint of sprinting, a dash of dashing

depressed cheerleaders

AM/PM:  anger management/psycho mental

oh thank heaven for seven eleven getting even

zounds! she got round, I found

loose and lucid Lucy

Sara from Saratoga went to the Serengeti

   triceratops cerebellum at the ceremony

Yeti in the Serengeti, Sara doing yoga in a toga

Snookie plays snooker with sneaky snakes

underserved?  that's what she said!

you got home so quick!  that's what she said!

the fisherman masturbated, but the lawyer pleasured herself

Catholic cats in chemistry conduct catalysis

medicine? med is sin!   the doctor rocked her!

kissing where you can, spiritually lost (lol)

I'm the chair of the department!  I'm a hat-rack!

the application of apple computers to apple agriculture

the sound of six saxophones sucks 

a spike in spook-speak;  hispanic specifications for Spock

spic Spock specs: 

  ensign, lieutenant, lt. commander, captain, ambassador

  in sin, tenant, cum, in, ass

racists with cysts, white not right: peachy with pit of hell entity

underworld, undercover, undersea, and under arrest

Wonder Woman during World War

contagious cunts, and feckless infectious prefects

you little bitch!  (female puppy)

I like Ike, hiking and biking, Spike and Mike, and reich dyke psych

watching cartoons on Neptune

G-D, God damn, today was a good day

International Comet Quarterly, and I seek you, Cecile Quindlan

disgusted with Gus, disrespecting Gus and Ted

PD and DP, police department and dolly parton, partying with Dali

sos, slapped on stage, sick of stupidity, savagery of satan

Chris Tucker (Chris T), and Christopher Julius Rock, J Christ 

   and 2 Samuel 22:47, Rock of salvation

DAE, devil and emperor, dangerous and evil, divine and eternal

smart ass who gets spanked

high frequency of human flesh, high fidelity, high five

   hammer fall, heart failure, have fun, hedge fund, harrison ford

LL cool J, lid-lock (seal in hell) loco ten (evil satan)

Hannibal Lecter, the Lord of Heaven, and Holy Love

phD, pit of hell Devil;  KCHF, kill cook human flesh

   (religious tv station in New Mexico)

cannibal can nibble on a can of Anne's bull

Hannibal the cannabis cannibal and a bull

humorous humous and funny bones and laughter after

what matters is matter, says Matt

human in Sheol, man in she, shut up shithead

NEW, no effing way, Yahweh

this is Jesus.  this is Beast. this is 2.  this is water.

water otters and land pandas and air hares

mighty mites, Mighty Mouse, My T

cinema and synagogues, Israel and reels, Judaism and Jude Law

Hauling wood and Hollywood.  Would Holly?

Miss Kate Moss made a mess with her mousse before Mass

David Foster Wallace and all of us

Foster's freeze is Dave's fave for solace

Berkeley Bowl & Bibi, Trader Joe's & JT (me), Sports Basement & SB (ex)

semen in the basement,  when I seafood I eat it, wherever I go Hugo

eudemonism, Mendocino, monde, demonetize, demonstration, Monday

Damon the nomad on no meds: lots of demons (demon seamen with semen)

the aliens ask, put witchcraft on which craft?

daemons and the good demons, eudemonia

Chris has been acting as Christ, Jess as Jesus, and Lorin as lord

HBA on HBO (has been acting on home box office)

evil and wicked Elizabeth warren

witchy women with warts in mort-abort court for tort 

nazi lesbian psychology, natural language processing, reich dyke psych

insane and creepy CIA, 

raping murdering cooking and eating human flesh

theoretical and Israel

that's Allah for now

sexy baseball

come from behind, tied, balls, innings, sliders, singles

striking out, foul, game (gaym), pitchers and catchers, missing badly

umpire, coming out, vampire, coming in, base bawl, full count

scent her feel'd, swings and misses, one and one

top and bottom of the inning, coming up, inning over

vs.

off the bat, strike, hit

love is a battlefield

    nasty pitches, warming up, nobody on

    "home run", third base, etc.

leather gloves, lacing up shoes (luv, ho's)

in the throws of passion (throes), on the inside, delivery

four bases and foreplay, action

bats, bulls (bullpen), wings (swings), bass (base), flys, fowl

birds and bees

pinch hitter, hard throw, making contact, bouncing, fair

coming in to home, out of the box

menage-a-trois, threesomes, and triples